Do servers not want a tip?

[Disneylover99]

I actually find it a little rude when they ask "do you need change back?"

I would find that rude too. But it's never happened to me. If I leave cash, every server has always said, I'll be right back with your change.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's rude to me, I don't care if they look first or don't look. It is my change and I get to decide what to do with it. Do not assume just because you served me that a tip is in order.

But they are not assuming if they don't look - the exact amount could be in there.

 

[MainMom]

I think the problem is that no one ever explained to the server they need to bring change back in a manner that makes tipping easy. It is like one of those things that people KNOW, but they don't explain. I remember my dad explaining this to me when I was a child - when you get change at a restaurant, the waiter will always bring back bills that make it easy to tip. If you don't need change, tell the server when you hand over the money. I feel confident that the waiters we dealt with way back then would have brought change as the OP is expecting. I find a lot of things that my parents taught me are no longer common knowledge.

On the flip side, maybe the servers were hoping for $10 as the tip. I used know a pizza delivery guy who would do that - if someone handed him $40 for a $30 order, he would say thanks and start leaving, making them ask for change. I guess that worked as a one-time strategy, but it probably didn't pay off for repeat business.

On the soda-to-go - I had never seen this before maybe 2 years ago, but it has become common in this area since then.

I see this as 2 different things happening. It's one thing to give a 5 and 5 1's when the CHANGE was $10 because the bill was $40 and the customer handed the waiter a $50. It's another to be given an extra $10 and expecting the waiter to know you want them to break it when the change for the actual bill is 2.70.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Maybe what you should say is, "If you would like a tip, please bring me change."

Then if they hand you back the exact same ten, well, just keep it. Leave the $2.70, and be done with it.

Really? You don't see that as rude?

 

[kellyjeanie]

Everyone has different assumptions of what the server should know. In this thread alone there are people who say the server should bring back change in small bills in preparation for an expected tip, and others who say the server shouldn't expect a tip at all - would the second group of people find the change in small bills rude, since it implies the change will be used for a tip? How on earth is the server supposed to know who wants what?

 

[mnrose]

It's rude to me, I don't care if they look first or don't look. It is my change and I get to decide what to do with it. Do not assume just because you served me that a tip is in order.

Ok, but without looking at the amount in the folio, they have no way of knowing what you plan to do. Let's say the bill was $35.00 and you place cash in the folio. They have no way of knowing whether you left $35, $40 or $50 in the folio. All they are asking is whether you need change. That's it. It's an innocuous question. You could have left $35, and can just say "no, no change required."

I don't get why the question assumes anything. Shrug.

Again, my answer would be vastly different if there were two twenties clearly laying there and the bill is $35. The question then assumes a tip. But, with a black folio (which is the norm at all the restaurants I frequent), it assumes absolutely nothing.

 

[shoney]

Ok, but without looking at the amount in the folio, they have no way of knowing what you plan to do. Let's say the bill was $35.00 and you place cash in the folio. They have no way of knowing whether you left $35, $40 or $50 in the folio. All they are asking is whether you need change. That's it. It's an innocuous question. You could have left $35, and can just say "no, no change required."

I don't get why the question assumes anything. Shrug.

Again, my answer would be vastly different if there were two twenties clearly laying there and the bill is $35. The question then assumes a tip. But, with a black folio (which is the norm at all the restaurants I frequent), it assumes absolutely nothing.

Because I think it is the servers job to open it up. If it isn't the amount of the bill, then bring the change....Unless the customer tells the server to keep the change.

 

[DizBelle]

If the server had correctly read your mind that you wanted change for the extra $10 bill, what should she have brought back?

Two $5 bills?
One $5 bill and five $1 bills?
Ten $1 bills?
Nine $1 bills and 4 quarters?
One $5 bill, three $1 bills, and 8 quarters?
One $5 bill, four $1 bills, 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and 1 nickel?
and on, and on, and on, and on.....

How in the WORLD is she supposed to know what you want if you don't tell her?

 

[gwynne]

Something to do with what, the server not being a mind reader?

I was in school long before NCLB or common core and I was never taught how to read minds. I wonder if my parents think they wasted money on that private school education........

I agree with you. And just for the record, your parents made a good decision.

I don't know why some folks expect magical mind reading. The server is there to help the diner have an enjoyable dining experience. If a diner wants a bill broken they need to ask for that. Something like...Would you break this 10 into a 5 and 5 1's as well as take the check money? Thanks!

 

[Allison]

I'd say education had something to do with it, but I wouldn't blame the server. Instead, I'd say its the fault of those who voted for No Child Left Behind and similarly destructive policies.

This is not about education.

 

[CPanther95]

I don't know where you went to school, but I was never offered Mind Reading 101.

Note to wives:

Please keep in mind that there's a very good chance that your husband was never offered that course either.

 

[mantysk8coach]

Anyone else reading this thread wondering what ever happened to Springs1?

 

[CarolAnn856]

Anyone else reading this thread wondering what ever happened to Springs1?

She's here, too, lol? I've seen her on other boards I read.

 

[pearlieq]

I would have expected the server to break the $10 without specific direction and consider getting change back in small bills to be the mark of a proficient and experienced server. I would have been mildly irked in the OP's position at having to wait for another transaction, but would have just assumed the server was new or not terribly savvy.

 

[Hikergirl]

Anyone else reading this thread wondering what ever happened to Springs1?

If I took that class I wouldn't have to wonder, I'd just know.

 

[gwynne]

If I took that class I wouldn't have to wonder, I'd just know.

Touché!

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'm gonna have to remember to bring the trusty crystal ball with me next time I go out to eat. The service will be most excellent.

 

[mjkacmom]

Note to wives:

Please keep in mind that there's a very good chance that your husband was never offered that course either.

Married 21 years, just figuring that out!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Really? You don't see that as rude?

Yes, I do.

But the OP asked for changed twice. The first it was ignored. Then when they handed back the 10 and asked, the server still didn't understand.

Maybe being rude would work.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Yes, I do.

But the OP asked for changed twice. The first it was ignored. Then when they handed back the 10 and asked, the server still didn't understand.

Maybe being rude would work.

Being rude seems to work for many people.