Do quiet people get less respect?

[Clumsy]

I'm a quiet person. I just recently started a new job and I feel like the oddball. I'm just not a social butterfly. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in the group. I feel I get less respect at work. I'm a talker with my DH or close friends, but with people I don't know, I just listen. Just curious to hear from those who are talkers and definitely those who are quiet. I wish I was more of an extrovert who could just strike up conversations with anyone .

 

[DMickey28]

I am very much the same way!! I open up once I get to know people but at first I am very shy and withdrawn.

 

[Aurora63]

I'm a very quiet person too. I don't think we get less respect...in fact, the AP at my school recently said to someone (got back to me through the grapevine) "That Mrs. Smith, she sure is quiet, but when she has something to say, it's really good!" That made me feel good. Anyway, as long as what you say is useful/appropriate/helpful/smart/whatever you want to call it, I think you'll get all the respect you need.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

This happens to me. I'm VERY quiet at work and I get treated like something foul that was scraped off someone's shoe. Emails about procedural changes that directly affect my department? My 2 coworkers get it, but not me. The boss needs something sent to the home office immediately? I don't get asked to do it (even though I've offered each time). I've been there for 6 years doing the same job, and one coworker goes through my finished work and loudly announces to everyone if she feels it's not done correctly (which it IS - it's just not done HER way).

I'm looking for another job.

 

[KimR]

I am quiet like you and although I definitely get plenty of respect at work now, I have to admit that it took time to earn it. One problem I have is that even when I do speak up, I do not express myself well and thus come across as much less intelligent than I am. Of course, the first battle is to speak up in the first place, which is sometimes hard especially when you are the new kid on the block. I don't have problems speaking up around people I am comfortable with because they know I'm not an idiot even if I sometimes sound like one. My problem is speaking up in front of people who don't know me well. It helps to remind myself that this is my JOB and it is what I am getting paid for. If I have an idea it is my obligation to get that idea heard and taken seriously. Once I've worked with people for a while, it gets much easier because they realize I DO know what I'm talking about and I'm not so nervous about how I come across. And then, the social ease kind of flows naturally from there.

It's hard starting a new job. There have been positions I never felt totally comfortable in but then it turned out that the job was not a good fit for me anyway. Give it time and I'm sure you will hit your stride.

 

[Sherri]

I am also very quiet. Infact dh and I couldn't be more opposite, he strikes up conversations with anybody and everybody. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that, then again sometimes I think it could come accross as overbearing.
I notice at work that I am an observer for sure. I do feel like I get left out of certain things like football pools and lottery ticket pools, but I like to stay in my comfort zone. Anyway, I am only there 3 hours a week. I have two close work friends, the rest I just am cordial with.

 

[Snowysmom]

I am a quiet person too. I have learned to speak out in advocating for my kids but it is hard to do that for myself at work. Since I do have trouble speaking out and usually stumble over my words, I try to speak slowly and carefully and that has helped. I do have the respect of most of the people I work with and for except for one, and I am not losing any sleep over that. It is hard starting a new job, just trying to figure out where you fit in and what is expected. I hope things get better for you as time goes on.

 

[RitaZ.]

I don't think it's a matter of getting less respect. I think it's more about getting less noticed. There are people that are quite verbal in expressing themselves, yet I have no respect for them. My neighbor is one of them. He is loud, rude and disrespectful, yet he calls that being assertive. There are people that are quiet that I have immense respect for, it's a whole package thing for me.

To me, being "loud" doesn't equal being intelligent or worthy of respect/admiration. I think it's all in the delivery and how we express ourselves.

 

[beagle744]

I am quiet as well. I'm required to attend a weekly senior staff meeting (about 15 folks) for my division. A colleague was on the phone with me recently and told me he appreciated my limited comments in those meetings and not contributing to the chaos.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

Yes they do...Unless they're very, very good looking...What a superficail society.

 

[Clumsy]

It's nice to read that I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel this new job is just not a fit for me. They even love after work activities like going to the bar for drinks. I heard you get marked down if you don't participate. Not fair in my opinion because I have a life outside of work and I don't drink??

 

[Serena]

I'm quiet too, or I start out that way. I haven't had many problems with respect though.

 

[Serena]

It's nice to read that I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel this new job is just not a fit for me. They even love after work activities like going to the bar for drinks. I heard you get marked down if you don't participate. Not fair in my opinion because I have a life outside of work and I don't drink??

You're right, that isn't fair.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I am a quiet person too. I have learned to speak out in advocating for my kids but it is hard to do that for myself at work.

I am the same way. I am quiet, and I tend to "let it go" in respect to more dominating louder personalities. But when it comes to my children, I have also learned to speak up.