Disruptive children in restaurants

[nbs2]

Where does that come from? I don't think it's any different from dining out at home.

I think it comes from Disney marketing. When you market your destination to the general public as a place for kids, as almost a world of Chuck E Cheese, you are going to have folks that slack off while they are there. Couple that with an overly lax dress code (suggesting laxness to the mind) at the signature restaurants, and you have a recipe for disaster.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

I don't want to start a debate but I was reading restaurant reviews for a few signature restaurants that we are considering going to in October and having a 1 year old, I wanted to make sure they allowed young children into the restaurants. Anyway, I couldn't believe people who were writing and saying there were screaming/fussy children/babies at nearby tables throughout the entire meal. I will be honest, I think disney should have a policy, especially at a signature restaurant for this issue. If I was spending $100+ for a meal, I would not want to listen to a child crying/screaming/fussing etc. It's just not fair to the other guests and some parents apparently don't care about the other guests. My dh and I were going to a nice casino with a great steakhouse 4 years ago with our other children who are twins (they were 3 year old at that time). I called to make reservations and when I told him for 2 adults and 2 children, he asked how old the children were and when I told him 3, he said "sorry, no children under 5 allowed". I said to him, "thats a great idea". What is one to do, if they are trying to have dinner and throughout the whole dinner, there is a crying/screaming child nearby? Personally, I would leave, it would ruin my meal. Can the restaurants do anything about it? I know it's disney but one of the parents could leave with the child and take a walk, while the other eats and then switch after that parent is done. I think that would be the fair thing to do. Linda

I would have no problem with Disney having a couple more restaurants with age requirements. But most of the restaurants do not have age requirements and you should understand that before you go in to sit down. And yes, you might encounter misbehaving children...or adults. It happens. Think about how it will affect your meal before you decide to eat at that restaurant and think about what you might do if you encounter a situation (leave? politely ask for another table? say something to the parents???). And this is by no means exclusive to Disney. You can encounter misbehaving people all over the world.

If you feel strongly that you want age requirements at certain restaurants, write Disney. But think about this - the more restaurants with age requirements will limit the amount of people who can eat there. Many people see a vacation as time to spend with their family (kids included) and will not eat at a restaurant where their kids can't eat. I'm sure Disney takes this into consideration before putting an age requirement on a restaurant.

 

[tony67]

I think it comes from Disney marketing. When you market your destination to the general public as a place for kids, as almost a world of Chuck E Cheese, you are going to have folks that slack off while they are there. Couple that with an overly lax dress code (suggesting laxness to the mind) at the signature restaurants, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I agree with the chuck e cheese comment.

They are both for kids, they both have a mouse and the both have below average pizza.

As for the dress code, this is not just Disney.
In general much of the restaurant industry has become lax.
There are hold outs, but even in Paris and Rome we were fine in jeans in t-shirts at places that required shirts and ties 10 years ago.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

I think it comes from Disney marketing. When you market your destination to the general public as a place for kids, as almost a world of Chuck E Cheese, you are going to have folks that slack off while they are there. Couple that with an overly lax dress code (suggesting laxness to the mind) at the signature restaurants, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I absolutely refuse to go to Chuck E cheese and will not take my kids there but I am always up for a Disney trip and hey, aren't we all talking about Disney on these boards??? They must be doing some better marketing than Chuck E Cheese

 

[swisely]

I saw something recently on the news that there is a restaurant somewhere in North Carolina (I think) that is banning children from coming there. That is the right of the restaurant owner to do so. However, as a 46 year old woman who has eaten out many, many, many times in my life, I can honestly say that I cannot remember any significant incident in a restaurant where a child was so unruly that it ruined my meal. I would think that those cases of extremely unruly children are few and far between. I never determine where I am going to eat by the kind of patrons that restaurant attracts. Unless I want to eat at Chuck E Cheese, (seriously?) then it would never occur to me to think about screaming kids. I decide based on what kind of food I want, period.

 

[bevgray]

I guess I've just been lucky all these years. Never witnessed some of the behavior mentioned.

Only one time did I have an issue. That was dining solo at Coral Reef for lunch. I ended up at a small table right by the aquarium glass. Half way through my meal, I had several youngsters trying to get between my chair and the glass to look at the fish. They were very polite about it but were determined that their fish-watching needs were far more important than my comfort and lunch. It became a problem when the cute little 2 or 3 year old clamoured into my lap and started to gently tug at my hair (very long and red). Her "big" sister (who was around 6 or 7) just giggled and leaned against me. Then she said, "Are you Ariel's big sister or auntie? We really like your hair." Their brother (who seemed about 13) gave me one of those early teen shrugs and just kept watching the fish. At this time, the waiter and manager swooped down to "rescue" me. I looked around as the children were escorted away (the youngest blowing kisses) and saw the parents sitting with two sets of grandparents who seemed totally oblivious to the whereabouts of the trio. They were engaged completely in their food and their conversation. What concerned me more than the violation of my own privacy was the total lack of attention by these adults. Shouldn't Mommy or the Grand-Mommies have been on top of the situation? Shouldn't Dad or Grand-Daddies been paying attention? I mean, a tiny little girl was in some strange female's lap! Where were the "child in danger" instincts? This incident was less than five minutes. I suppose I could have "dumped" the little cherub on her posterior and told her sister I was Maleficent's cousin and to scram but I tend to be slow to react at times when faced with things so far out of my experience. I was just too stunned and shocked. Perhaps, if Disney staff had not been so efficient, I would have fussed. More likely, I would have just asked the waiter to remove the kid along with the empty soup bowl.

My point is, behavior of children still comes back on the parents. We live in a society that condones entitlement. We are very TOLERANT and POLITICALLY CORRECT. However, we've lost so much compassion and just plain walking in the other guy's shoes (the old golden rule concept) that we have become a society of self-interest to the point of stupidity.

 

[WheresFigment?]

Here's the thing: It seems to me that the standard of behavior that is "kids being kids" has gone way, way beyond just "kids being kids" and into "kids being kids who are being allowed to behave like animals."

We just got back from Disney and I was pretty appalled at the behavior I saw at the one sit down restaurant we did go to (Via Napoli) we were kitty corner from a table of 5, that had 3 adults a kid who looked to be about 5 or 6, and a child still young enough to be in a high chair. The "baby" was YELLING "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" while smearing pizza all over herself, the table, and anyone in reaching distance, while the older kid was ducking in and out of the chairs, climbing on grandma, etc. Best I could tell, the parents weren't even talking to each other, just sitting there.

This seemed to be a frequent refrain, as though parents feel that Disney seems to absolve their kids for the need for an "indoor voice." There was so much yelling everywhere we went sounded like a sporting event.

I'm childless, but I ate at very expensive restaurants from a very young age. I had a firmly installed "sit down and shut up" and I can't believe that parents take their kids out and are unable or unwilling to firmly and absolutely correct bad behavior.

Running around, climbing on things, shouting, shrieking, etc is not "excitement" or "kids being kids" it is parents encouraging disrespect and inappropriate behavior. I think there should be zero tolerance for any of it. Your child can easily express excitement without shouting, screaming, or any of those things. I saw many kids perfectly capable of doing that and they were a pleasure to be around. Unfortunately the vast majority of other kids drowned them out.

I got the distinct impression though that disney is mostly about the parents. I saw crying kids being dragged around by mom with a camera glued to her eyeball, hauled onto the bus at nearly 10pm halfway asleep, kids being carted around in heat that was exhausting even for adults, terrified kids being held in the parks during a thunderstorm because mom wanted to see the fireworks, etc.

If you have kids, you kind of have to accept that you'll need to skip part of your day for naps, eat somewhere else if they're hungry and give up that prized ADR, maybe miss the fireworks so your kids can go to bed. If you want to do all those things and make your kid tired, cranky, upset, or scared as collateral damage, then you need to go by yourself and get it all out of your system before doing it at the expense of your kid's comfort. After all...it is supposed to be mostly for them, no?

 

[tony67]

Here's the thing: It seems to me that the standard of behavior that is "kids being kids" has gone way, way beyond just "kids being kids" and into "kids being kids who are being allowed to behave like animals."

Totally agree.

A story I find amusing related to this.

Someone I know was in a very high end restaurant in NYC.
It was not the kind of place you would expect to see kids ever, but they are allowed.
As you often see the kid was getting up and walking around and bothering other people.
The parent think they are just so cute and do nothing.
It eventually got to the point where the kid was playing airplane and running around this persons table.
The staff did NOTHING and the parents just think their little darling is just so cute.

As you can imagine he was not happy.
Finally with perfect timing as the kid ran by the table he knocked his glass of water off of the table.
He made a bit of a fuss and the kid just stood there in shock.
He knew he did not spill the water, but what could he do.
The parents apologized and the kids sat in the booth quietly the rest of the night.

Every once and a while he would look over to the kid with a big smile, the kid knew what had happened, but who would ever believe him.
I hope he learned a lesson, but I doubt it.

 

[Leota]

I guess I've just been lucky all these years. Never witnessed some of the behavior mentioned.

Only one time did I have an issue. That was dining solo at Coral Reef for lunch. I ended up at a small table right by the aquarium glass. Half way through my meal, I had several youngsters trying to get between my chair and the glass to look at the fish. They were very polite about it but were determined that their fish-watching needs were far more important than my comfort and lunch. It became a problem when the cute little 2 or 3 year old clamoured into my lap and started to gently tug at my hair (very long and red). Her "big" sister (who was around 6 or 7) just giggled and leaned against me. Then she said, "Are you Ariel's big sister or auntie? We really like your hair." Their brother (who seemed about 13) gave me one of those early teen shrugs and just kept watching the fish. At this time, the waiter and manager swooped down to "rescue" me. I looked around as the children were escorted away (the youngest blowing kisses) and saw the parents sitting with two sets of grandparents who seemed totally oblivious to the whereabouts of the trio. They were engaged completely in their food and their conversation. What concerned me more than the violation of my own privacy was the total lack of attention by these adults. Shouldn't Mommy or the Grand-Mommies have been on top of the situation? Shouldn't Dad or Grand-Daddies been paying attention? I mean, a tiny little girl was in some strange female's lap! Where were the "child in danger" instincts? This incident was less than five minutes. I suppose I could have "dumped" the little cherub on her posterior and told her sister I was Maleficent's cousin and to scram but I tend to be slow to react at times when faced with things so far out of my experience. I was just too stunned and shocked. Perhaps, if Disney staff had not been so efficient, I would have fussed. More likely, I would have just asked the waiter to remove the kid along with the empty soup bowl.

My point is, behavior of children still comes back on the parents. We live in a society that condones entitlement. We are very TOLERANT and POLITICALLY CORRECT. However, we've lost so much compassion and just plain walking in the other guy's shoes (the old golden rule concept) that we have become a society of self-interest to the point of stupidity.

Bravo! Great post!

 

[branv]

My point is, behavior of children still comes back on the parents. We live in a society that condones entitlement. We are very TOLERANT and POLITICALLY CORRECT. However, we've lost so much compassion and just plain walking in the other guy's shoes (the old golden rule concept) that we have become a society of self-interest to the point of stupidity.

Woooo, YES! Brilliant post!

Here's the thing: It seems to me that the standard of behavior that is "kids being kids" has gone way, way beyond just "kids being kids" and into "kids being kids who are being allowed to behave like animals."

We just got back from Disney and I was pretty appalled at the behavior I saw at the one sit down restaurant we did go to (Via Napoli) we were kitty corner from a table of 5, that had 3 adults a kid who looked to be about 5 or 6, and a child still young enough to be in a high chair. The "baby" was YELLING "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" while smearing pizza all over herself, the table, and anyone in reaching distance, while the older kid was ducking in and out of the chairs, climbing on grandma, etc. Best I could tell, the parents weren't even talking to each other, just sitting there.

This seemed to be a frequent refrain, as though parents feel that Disney seems to absolve their kids for the need for an "indoor voice." There was so much yelling everywhere we went sounded like a sporting event.

I'm childless, but I ate at very expensive restaurants from a very young age. I had a firmly installed "sit down and shut up" and I can't believe that parents take their kids out and are unable or unwilling to firmly and absolutely correct bad behavior.

Running around, climbing on things, shouting, shrieking, etc is not "excitement" or "kids being kids" it is parents encouraging disrespect and inappropriate behavior. I think there should be zero tolerance for any of it. Your child can easily express excitement without shouting, screaming, or any of those things. I saw many kids perfectly capable of doing that and they were a pleasure to be around. Unfortunately the vast majority of other kids drowned them out.

I got the distinct impression though that disney is mostly about the parents. I saw crying kids being dragged around by mom with a camera glued to her eyeball, hauled onto the bus at nearly 10pm halfway asleep, kids being carted around in heat that was exhausting even for adults, terrified kids being held in the parks during a thunderstorm because mom wanted to see the fireworks, etc.

If you have kids, you kind of have to accept that you'll need to skip part of your day for naps, eat somewhere else if they're hungry and give up that prized ADR, maybe miss the fireworks so your kids can go to bed. If you want to do all those things and make your kid tired, cranky, upset, or scared as collateral damage, then you need to go by yourself and get it all out of your system before doing it at the expense of your kid's comfort. After all...it is supposed to be mostly for them, no?

I have often found on posts where people excuse allowing poor behavior by saying, "Well it's Disney...it's all about the kids." What a review of their history can tell you is that 80% of the time, what they're really saying is, "Well it's Disney...it's all about MY kids."

Sure, people have a right to preserve and ensure their good time, but not at the expense of everyone else. Unless, of course, you can show me your drivers license does actually place your address at "Center of the Universe."

 

[rcc866]

This goes both ways

In wdw, you should expect kids and have some tolerance but the parent should also monitor their kids. I have four kids and have been down many times but I always make sure my kids act appropriatley when eating and respect the others

 

[BriarRosie]

Sure it's Disney. It's a place meant for guests of all ages.

But do people think basic table manners should fly out the window the moment you reach WDW property? I find that reasoning absurd. Restaurant ettiquette and behavior are fundamentals we grew up with and should be passed to each subsequent generation, IMHO.

The "kids should act like kids" excuse never flew with my parents when I was taken out to eat when I was little. I don't think it should be an excuse now, either.

 

[TDC Nala]

Disney marketing really doesn't explain why one should not expect a different atmosphere at California Grill than one would expect at Toy Story Pizza Planet.

Somebody brought up Disney as the larger equivalent to Chuck E. Cheese, and I can't buy that one.

 

[phorsenuf]

I saw something recently on the news that there is a restaurant somewhere in North Carolina (I think) that is banning children from coming there. That is the right of the restaurant owner to do so. However, as a 46 year old woman who has eaten out many, many, many times in my life, I can honestly say that I cannot remember any significant incident in a restaurant where a child was so unruly that it ruined my meal. I would think that those cases of extremely unruly children are few and far between. I never determine where I am going to eat by the kind of patrons that restaurant attracts. Unless I want to eat at Chuck E Cheese, (seriously?) then it would never occur to me to think about screaming kids. I decide based on what kind of food I want, period.

He's not banning children. He put up a sign that said "screaming children will not be tolerated."

There's a big thread about it on the community board. You should check it out, quite interesting.

 

[tinkrebell]

Sure it's Disney. It's a place meant for guests of all ages.

But do people think basic table manners should fly out the window the moment you reach WDW property? I find that reasoning absurd. Restaurant ettiquette and behavior are fundamentals we grew up with and should be passed to each subsequent generation, IMHO.

The "kids should act like kids" excuse never flew with my parents when I was taken out to eat when I was little. I don't think it should be an excuse now, either.

CORRECTION: Restaurant etiquette and behavior are fundamentals we SHOULD HAVE grown up with. . .

I was in a military family. My teachers thought I was "special" because I called everyone Sir or Ma'am without batting an eye. I can only thank my parents now for the social graces they forced me to adopt as natural, but after growing up, I know I wasn't in the majority of people who were taught that level of manners. Most learn some at least, but few learn them all. Makes me sad! Don't parents realize it's just going to hurt your kids when they think they're entitled and go around on job interviews acting like older people don't deserve respect?? At least pretend!

 

[Anthony1971]

I have been to Dinsey many times and I have never seen children behave in a bad enough manner to complian about... Yes children have moments and no one can control everything a child does... I have a lot of tolerance so long as the parents are trying...NO I do not agree with parents letting a child cry while they eat and pretend the child is not there--I have seen that locally
There are also a lot of children at Disney with medical problems so saying a child is misbehaved may be the wrong thing.
What I have seen more of lately and is far more offensive is adults without children who can not seem to pick up thier garbage and dipose of it after eating at a CS...
As far as getting dressed up... Jeans are the new dress code and the price of a nice pair reflects this just as the price of a nice suit years ago..... We make/sell high end suits so not a trend we like but we also make higher end jeans... one off sets the other...

 

[mickey&minniealways]

I can't wait for some of you with these rules to have children. Unfortunatley we cannot control everything. Yes my children have been disiplined over the years. But what do you do when your child has done well all day and then it just takes one thing to turn the tables. Are you suggesting we don't eat. Do you tell the parent with the ADHD child they can't eat somewhere. Or maybe you want those of us who have a child with Asburgers and doesn't quite get the social cues they can only eat in their hotel rooms or at a food court. I have taken a screaming child out of the room many times.I think that we need to be tolerant of each other also. Not be automatons. Lets try to enjoy ourselves also. I get more usped by seeing the LOUD, Obnoxious, Drunk, Rude, Demanding Adults with no maners. I am more upset about the adults who chew their food with their mouthes open. Or the ones who feel it is okay to have an entire conversation with it full of food then I am with a child having a tantrum. They have somewhat of an excuse, they are tired, hungry and cranky and presumedly still learning how to behave. It is the adults who should know better that have the appaling behavior that shouldn't be tolerated. Okay I have had my rant. I usually try to ignore these threads but just had to answer this one.

 

[WheresFigment?]

It is not about the cost of your attire, or even the dress code. It is about somehow expecting that the "disney magic" makes it OK to have zero table manners. Even if you're eating at a food court on a highway, I still think it is reasonable to expect your kids to remain seated, converse at a volume appropriate for an indoor public venue, to eat what they ordered without tantrums or complaints, and to remain seated and quiet until everyone is finished eating and prepared to leave. If your kids are not old enough to do that, or you are unwilling to make sacrifices and accomodate those who are just not old enough to do that (many mention not being able to eat together until the kids were much older...that is to be expected with young children!) then they should not be joining you out to eat. Thus, instilling the proper behavior early is important so that you can do the things you enjoy.

Fundamentally, while it is disney, not only did I choose not to be disturbed by my own children, I certainly never chose to be disturbed by yours. Somehow the "disney magic" seems to excuse a lot of things behavior wise from both parents and kids...I think the opposite would be true, that it would be a great teaching opportunity to teach patience and calmness about exciting events. Kids can have fun without going out of their eyeballs 24/7. In a similar vein, if your child is tired, hungry etc enough to be disruptive to others, how exactly did they get that way? YOU let them. Bring a snack. Eat quick service if they can't wait for that priceless ADR, or they want to eat something different. Give up part of your day for some naps or quiet time in the pool. Heck, we are adults and even WE needed naps because we were tired and hot. I can't imagine how some of those kids felt.

If you ask me, you're begging for trouble to get a kid out of bed, load them up on sugar and carbs for breakfast, turn them loose in the most hyperstimulating place on earth, where it has a tendency to be painfully hot, maybe load them up on a little more sugar, then expect them to sit still and be quiet while YOU enjoy a meal. Set yourself up for success, that seems like a better plan no?

I don't like drunk disruptive etc adults either. But the level of drunkenness etc that I saw from adults at the actual parks versus the number of tantrums, screaming, crying, yelling, etc I saw from kids in the park, one is way more of a problem than the other.

 

[TDC Nala]

I was waiting for the "maybe the children are disabled" thing to come up, and for someone to say it's being suggested that children shouldn't be in the restaurants at all. I'm suggesting parents don't go into the sit-down restaurants and let their children scream for long periods and just ignore them, climb on chairs or booths, run around restaurants that aren't buffets, throw food (and I don't mean babies dropping food on the floor, I mean "food fights") or walk up to other people's tables. It's the parents who either don't know better or don't really care who let their children do these things. It's not the majority of families.

I'm not all that tolerant of adults with no table manners either. I remember a particularly obnoxious group at Palo on the cruise once, one guy had to punctuate everything he said by banging his fist on the table...our server actually apologized for us having to sit next to them.

 

[si-am]

I can't wait for some of you with these rules to have children. Unfortunatley we cannot control everything. Yes my children have been disiplined over the years. But what do you do when your child has done well all day and then it just takes one thing to turn the tables. Are you suggesting we don't eat. Do you tell the parent with the ADHD child they can't eat somewhere. Or maybe you want those of us who have a child with Asburgers and doesn't quite get the social cues they can only eat in their hotel rooms or at a food court. I have taken a screaming child out of the room many times.I think that we need to be tolerant of each other also. Not be automatons. Lets try to enjoy ourselves also. I get more usped by seeing the LOUD, Obnoxious, Drunk, Rude, Demanding Adults with no maners. I am more upset about the adults who chew their food with their mouthes open. Or the ones who feel it is okay to have an entire conversation with it full of food then I am with a child having a tantrum. They have somewhat of an excuse, they are tired, hungry and cranky and presumedly still learning how to behave. It is the adults who should know better that have the appaling behavior that shouldn't be tolerated. Okay I have had my rant. I usually try to ignore these threads but just had to answer this one.

I would put parents who let their kids cause disturbances in restaurants in the "adults who should know better" category as well.