Disney with a difficult teen

[LiveYourLife]

Thanks for the replies so far.

This trip is a gift from my mother, who'll also be joining us. My kids have never been, and it's been over 20 years since dh and I went pre-kids. It's a once-in-a-lifetime trip for our family, and my mother has gone to great expense to provide this vacation for us, so I really want it to be pleasant and enjoyed by all.

Keep those tips coming!

This here is the game-changer for me, OP. There is no way I would let my 13 year old child wander around WDW if (s)he has never been. A lot has changed in the 20-ish years since you've gone. Additionally, since this is a once-in-a-lifetime, gift trip - I'd be telling all my children to "suck it up buttercup" for this one. My opinion may not be popular, but I would want my Family together.

How much time will there be in between the Thanksgiving surprise, and the actual trip. I might tell them sooner, in order to allow them to plan things to do during the trip. This might mitigate some of the negative behaviors on the trip that have you concerned.

I hope you have a great trip!

 

[DCbride]

Since this sounds like it is a really special trip. How about giving him the job of documenting the trip and put him in charge of making a photo book for your mother for the holidays? He could be the official family photographer. While my kids never really got an allowance, if they did jobs that I would have paid someone else to do, I was not above paying them. (Example- I pay a dog sitter when we are on vacation, if my post college age daughter is available to dog sit, I pay her the dog sitter fee) You could offer it to him as a job and come up with a price that is fair. That might keep him involved.

 

[Dawnlight]

I am really thankful for everyone's input; there are so many great suggestions and comments here to think about.

Since this sounds like it is a really special trip. How about giving him the job of documenting the trip and put him in charge of making a photo book for your mother for the holidays? He could be the official family photographer. While my kids never really got an allowance, if they did jobs that I would have paid someone else to do, I was not above paying them. (Example- I pay a dog sitter when we are on vacation, if my post college age daughter is available to dog sit, I pay her the dog sitter fee) You could offer it to him as a job and come up with a price that is fair. That might keep him involved.

This is perfect!! Photography is actually one of his passions, and this would be right up his alley. This would also solve the question of what sort of gift to give my mother as a thank you for this vacation. She would adore a photo album with all the family pictures of this trip. Thanks so much for the suggestion.

 

[Clbemrich]

I shouldn't have read this thread. I read everything on the Dis though. My kids are 3 and 5. Now I'm scared of teenagers!!! I remember being fairly horrible myself.

 

[marauder]

As someone who roamed the park as a teen once myself. As has already been said get them a phone and let them go where they want. Even if you don't get them a phone, you can still do that. If no phone instead of check-in times on the phone, check-in times and locations.

Set ground rules like:
1) You can go anywhere you want in the same park that we are. No leaving the park.
2) You must make all meals.
3) You must check-in at the merry-go-round at these times, if you don't show up within this window you lose, Y.
4) If we ever hear from Disney security that you were doing anything wrong ...
5) If they get a phone GPS locate feature must be left on.

Always remember that you do have leverage on them, freedom can always be taken away. Embarrassing scenarios can always take place (i.e. you disobeyed rule 1, now you must stay with us the rest of the trip.)

I remember as a teen having lots of fun and freedom going anywhere I wanted, meeting up with other teens doing the same thing.

 

[robfamily]

I have a 6 year old who is just like this. Actually he has been this way most of his life. When we are at Disney he tries to make it miserable for everyone. I definitely think including him in on the planning would help. My son does not deal with surprises. The trip that was a surprise was our worst. For our next trip, we are going to plan it together. It is harder to complain about if you had a say in the plans. My son really likes to feel like he is in control of everything. It is a hard balance because if he has too much control he becomes a monster.

 

[bethy]

The primary reason our family goes to Disney is for the family together time. And so it's all for one and one for all. So I'm pretty sure we would never go and leave a kid behind at home. (thought never say never!)

So if a kid is being grouchy then that's just part of it - we push through and even the kids who aren't being grouchy learn something from the experience.

But we do find that going on vacation - especially to Disney - gets us out of our rut and bad habits at home. It breaks the pattern of day to day typical family issues.

We do allow a lot of freedom and sleeping in for teenagers once at the parks. We have a 10 year age span and everyone does still enjoy a ride on Dumbo - even the adults.

 

[stasijane]

My DD15 has been that way for our last 2 trips. She has a phone so I let her wonder around on her own and we meet up for meals. It works better for us that way. ALthough occasionally she still tries to follow me around and complain about what I am doing so I have to make her go away

 

[bjscheel]

I shouldn't have read this thread. I read everything on the Dis though. My kids are 3 and 5. Now I'm scared of teenagers!!! I remember being fairly horrible myself.

Don't worry too much- they aren't all difficult...after all the OP has 6 teens/tweens and sounds like only 1 is causing concern

OP, hope he surprises you with a good attitude. Maybe the fact that grandma is giving the trip will make a difference. I hope you'll have some time to plan with him and show him some of the things he'll enjoy. Have him check out Youtube videos of the coolest rides and maybe the Photography board here so he can get an idea of all the great photo ops to be had.

 

[laughinplace199]

Do you have a stun gun? Also, how good are you at tying knots?

 

[phinz]

My son is 13 and very mouthy and picks on his little brother. But, for whatever reason, the threat worked this trip. It was a very pleasant trip.

I quite enjoyed their company today at lunch. I picked on my little brother too.

It was very nice meeting the 5 of you today. Good luck with the race!