Disney with a baby, feeling defeated

With these extra details, it doesn't sound so awful anymore. You two do need to reach a compromise on what to do with a cranky toddler and going back to the room should probably be a last resort. Trading off riding with the older child and entertaining the younger one should work. If he's content in the stroller, but just needs to cool off, you can always go into a gift shop. Finding ducks or squirrels to watch while resting on a bench could entertain a toddler. My daughter was sure enamoured with the ducks and the lizards at 7 so a toddler may enjoy the wildlife as a distraction. Or bubbles? I've heard some people bring them from home and toss one in the stroller for little distractions. Those bubble machines are pricey, but I think there are little party favor packs you can get that are pretty small for just a small dose of bubbles. Definitely any spot where he can safely stretch his legs, not sure if he'll be a sturdy walker by then or not. Kids are so different, he could be running by then. LOL!

I think you should definitely look for ways to loosen up and not see going back to the resort as the only solution, just like hubby should probably be a little more sensitive to a cranky baby and stressed out mommy.
 
Not having had kids, I'm probably poorly qualified to comment on this. But...

I've too often seen (and heard) baby being baby, while the adults are having a meltdown. It's not pleasant for the people involved, and bystanders who don't have a clue are giving you filthy looks and muttered comments. Meltdowns aren't good for anybody.

My suggestion would be for you and baby to cancel from this trip. Less stress for you, less for him, and your H gets to spend time with his parents without guilt. Then he gets to be caretaker while you're gone, which might give him some insight what it's like to be a full-time mom.

I'm NOT just saying "don't bring him", but until he gets older, it might be best not to travel with him without help. If you all still end up going, you definately need to have a discussion about 'sharing the load' BEFORE you leave.

It might also be a good idea to talk to the in-laws, and see if they'd rather cancel this time, and prepare for the wedding. Never know - they might be grateful to have an 'out' instead of feeling like they have to go on this trip.

I don't think it's fair for you to shoulder all the work, and none of the fun at Disney.
And it's not fair for baby to be unhappy most of the time. Teething happens, not your fault - just bad timing.
But he might still remember being somewhere strange, and being in pain.
He might end up hating any kind of travel, due to vague memories of previous trips.
Skip this trip, let him grow up a little more, and you may well find that he enjoys travel, new sights and sounds, and doesn't want to stay in the hotel room all day anymore.

my 5¢ worth, no criticism intended.
 
My son's first trip was just before he was 12 months, and we all had a great time. But my husband was amazingly helpful (I was running the Disney marathon so he had early morning baby duty), my kiddo slept well in the stroller (I think he napped better in the stroller than in the crib), we kinda let little guy take the lead (we didn't go on any rides he couldn't go on or that had long lines, and went to the baby care center if he got fussy), and he was really used to travel, being from a military family, we were often on the road.

My daughter's 3rd trip was at 15 months old, and I felt it was finally the trip where she was really engaged and interested, rather than just along for the ride. So I'm really torn on advice to give. This might be the age where it finally works out, but then again, every toddler is different. Good luck with whatever you chose.
 
As others have said this really depends on your child. Some kids hate a lot of stimulation and will not do well at Disney. My youngest is not a huge fan, and she has always been terrified of characters, but baby/toddler wearing in line and a good stroller with a big shade helped. Other things to try are bring lots of snacks, stick to the child’s normal eating and sleeping schedule, and replicate the home sleep environment as much as possible. When my kids were in pack n plays I would travel with a foldable foam mattress and sheets, their blankie and bedtime stuffed animals, and a portable white noise machine.

I have always approached traveling with children as an exciting challenge - I want to prove I can do it! We did our first Disney vacation / cruise with a baby when our oldest was 6 1/2 months old. Each kid has been different but they’re all great travelers now. I say keep trying - just realize it will never be like traveling without a baby. Life doesn’t stop with kids, it just gets more interesting. A sense of humor can go a long way.
 

How many park days do you have planned? Looking back, we would only do 1-3 park days a trip until the kids were 2.5. Being at a Magic Kingdom area resort gives you a lot of flexibility if you wanted to build non-park days into the trip. You can take the boat to Ft. Wilderness and see the horses. They have carriage rides for the family if you think your kid might be interested. Depending on how your little one feels about costume characters, the Contemporary has Chef Mickey's (and with the current format, characters stay at a distance). The monorail can be a fun ride for little ones. I've heard the Grand Floridian has a fun sprayground for kids under 48 inches tall. My son loved the one at Ft. Wilderness when he was 20 months old. Also, if you make your way over to Art of Animation (which is on the Skyliner), there are life-sized Cars statues that might be fun to see. Looking back, I think the key to our success was keeping things relaxed and not always on the go.
 
I'd cancel. With covid continuing on and a wedding unexpectedly happening, and a baby to care for there is every reason to put this trip on hold for another time.

Weddings are crazy expensive even if both parents contribute along with the bride and groom. It will probably be a relief to everyone concerned. Good luck!
 
Do you NEED to go back to the room, or is that just what is easiest? I’m just asking because you said you think it is best but no one else does. Maybe let the husband and in-laws deal with the cranky toddler in the parks while you take your older child on rides.

The other option is to stay home with the baby while the rest of the family goes on the trip. We have been having this discussion lately as my younger one is too scared to try anything but my older one loves all the rides and it doesn’t seem fair to keep her home because he is a party pooper. We dodged the bullet in 2022 because we found somewhere we all want to go, but will have the discussion again in 2023.
 
We traveled when my DD was 9 months old....horrible for me. I was nursing, and felt I was constantly running to the baby care centers. I totally felt like I was missing out. She never slept well. home or traveling, up ALL night. I was always tired, etc, etc. We didn't do any big trips like that again, until she was 4, and DS was about 15 months. They did both sleep in strollers, so that was nice. But overall, it wasn't the Disney experience we wanted, so we waited until they were older.

Hope y'all can discuss it together, come to a resolution. I agree w previous posters to trade off. You take the older child for awhile, and leave DH w the baby, and enjoy!!!
 
This might be the age where it finally works out, but then again, every toddler is different. Good luck with whatever you chose.

Eventually that will happen! Just trying to figure out which one :confused:

How many park days do you have planned? Looking back, we would only do 1-3 park days a trip until the kids were 2.5. Being at a Magic Kingdom area resort gives you a lot of flexibility if you wanted to build non-park days into the trip. You can take the boat to Ft. Wilderness and see the horses. They have carriage rides for the family if you think your kid might be interested. Depending on how your little one feels about costume characters, the Contemporary has Chef Mickey's (and with the current format, characters stay at a distance). The monorail can be a fun ride for little ones. I've heard the Grand Floridian has a fun sprayground for kids under 48 inches tall. My son loved the one at Ft. Wilderness when he was 20 months old. Also, if you make your way over to Art of Animation (which is on the Skyliner), there are life-sized Cars statues that might be fun to see. Looking back, I think the key to our success was keeping things relaxed and not always on the go.

We haven't even started to think about park days. Currently trip is planned for 5 nights, potentially adding on a 6th due to flight constraints. We are annual passholders so we usually do park every day even if just to go eat dinner etc. Since the in-laws aren't passholders they will probably get 4 day park tickets and we would plan for 4 half days, one in each park.

We love Ft. Wilderness and usually try to get over there to the stables at least once per trip. That is also why we feel so lucky to have snagged the VGF reservation since we can easily monorail over to Poly or Contemporary for some non park activities.



Do you NEED to go back to the room, or is that just what is easiest? I’m just asking because you said you think it is best but no one else does. Maybe let the husband and in-laws deal with the cranky toddler in the parks while you take your older child on rides.

The other option is to stay home with the baby while the rest of the family goes on the trip. We have been having this discussion lately as my younger one is too scared to try anything but my older one loves all the rides and it doesn’t seem fair to keep her home because he is a party pooper. We dodged the bullet in 2022 because we found somewhere we all want to go, but will have the discussion again in 2023.

Good question. I am sure in some instances we didn't NEED to go back to the room but in the moment it was the best solution I had to keep baby happy. Often times I did feel it was absolutely what needed to be done (i.e. he needed to take a nap since he wasn't sleeping due to the teeth and he wouldn't nap in the stroller) He just hasn't been at an age yet where the parks have offered a distraction for him but maybe by 14 months that will be the case.

It will be certainly something to consider as he gets older if the parks just aren't going to be his thing. I am not sure we/I would completely omit going, but it's not unrealistic that we need to discuss the possibility that baby doesn't enter the parks and we take turns with who stays back with him. Afterall being in a hotel in Disney all day is probably better than home with baby all day. Maybe I just need to adjust my view on things!
 
Thank you everyone for your insights! Hubby and I have a mom and dad only trip planned in January so I can get my ride fix in. I think we will talk to the in-laws about the trip when we get back and see where their heads are at with going just 2 months after the surprise wedding. If they want to reschedule, we will probably shoot for Fall or the following Spring when baby will be 2. If everyone is still on board with May then we will come up with a plan to keep baby happy if he just isn't into the parks or some other crazy teething adventure or illness pops up.
 
We are planning our daughters first trip for her 2nd birthday in October. We are only doing a short 3 day trip for her first time. 2 days in the park and one pool day. She loves the pool. We are bringing my parents with us specially as babysitters as they would rather spend time around the pool then go to the parks.

We plan to do the parks in the morning with our daughter then take to back to watched by my parents and nap while my wife and I enjoy some more park time. After the nap we will either bring her back to the park or she can stay and swim depending on her mood.
 
I’d cancel. It sounds miserable.

I know every family is different, but my youngest was 3 when we first went. And that was perfect for us. I‘d wait a bit if you don’t really have help.
We waited for age 3 both times and it was a “Sweet Spot” for Disney. Never great sleepers in general, but from a daytime Disney experience, it was wonderful. All became huge Disney World fans when grown up.
 
We've traveled for over twenty years with our four girls(as babies)and I understand!!! I had the "perfect" trip planned for our oldest daughters first trip. I had the cute outfits, matching socks, shoes, and even our diapers were mickey. I had every hour planned and was sure we were going to be the family pushing our precious baby down Main Street smiling the whole way. Well she had a totally different plan in mind. She HATED the princesses, screamed on Small World and ate NOTHING!!! The only time she was happy was in the shower at WL which made no sense as she hated to shower at home. I spent a few nights in the room crying on the balcony, swearing up and down that it was our last trip anywhere until she graduated. We were on our way back to the airport after our nightmare trip and an older couple was admiring our little angel. She was of course happy, quiet, and back to her normal self. We started talking about our trip and they laughed the whole time. I said the trip was a total waste and the lady smiled and said one day we would look back and laugh. Well, she was right. I can't give you much advice because our four girls are so different. They keep us guessing everyday. By the way that stubborn baby who ruined her first trip to Disney is an adult, engaged, and travels like a pro. Time flies and I would give anything to live that first trip over. I'm thankful I didn't live up to my words and we continued to take our little monster places as it did get better the older she got. The other three have traveled well however only one has ever wanted anything to do with the princesses, according to my girls they are just freaky. These are the same girls who think the Grinch is awesome.
 
He thinks baby can just be in the stroller and will eventually stop crying
What did he do for the 6 year old and what did he do for the baby when you're not at a theme park and are just at home with them in a stroller? Did/have neither one of them cry/cried before in a stroller? What was the protocol when this happened outside of vacation?

I think other posters are correct in this one on your husband at least from what you describe (so if we're wrong apologies on that :flower3:). I'm sure he's honestly not a bad guy not a bad father either but he reminds me a lot of my best friend's husband. Tasks defaulted to her and her alone. Her husband wouldn't even change a diaper :sad2: much less take up the task of soothing their child even if that meant leaving (situationally sometimes this is the best). I'm not saying your husband is like that just that it made me think of the situation.

Back to your dilemma do you happen to have a theme or amusement park at home that will be open in enough time to know how your son will do? I've always suggested practice runs there if people have them. Maybe consider places where you get breaks but don't necessarily have to leave the parks for cases when you know you don't really have to leave completely (rest areas inside or under shade) but don't take on the whole task yourself switch where you take the older child or everyone takes time out to decompress and have a quick break. Tom Sawyer Island at MK is a nice place or Tomorrowland, in Epcot the Land Pavilion works well IMO although sometimes its noise can be a bit chaotic so it depends on just what type of break you're needing, In DHS I feel it's a bit harder without sitting at a CS/QS type place (outdoors or indoors) but maybe the back area by PizzeRizzo and Mama Melrose for a more secluded spot to at least breath for a moment. At AK I feel like there was places to sit outside of the exit for DINOSAUR where it was underneath building supports with foliage around but I can't remember exactly if that was the case. There are places around in Pandora to just sorta sit and if animals are soothing to your children AK is perfect lol. Those are just some things I could think of off the top of my head but I know many posters have spots they've found over the years.

I don't think you're crazy for canceling but I do think what came across most on your posts was about your husband not helping out. Also have you traveled with this set of in-laws before? To Disney or some other labor intensive vacation? I know you said grandma came last time didn't know which grandma. If you think for one minute that the in-laws will add more stress it's not going to be a vacation to go on with the other stuff you've had to deal with.
 
What did he do for the 6 year old and what did he do for the baby when you're not at a theme park and are just at home with them in a stroller? Did/have neither one of them cry/cried before in a stroller? What was the protocol when this happened outside of vacation?

I think other posters are correct in this one on your husband at least from what you describe (so if we're wrong apologies on that :flower3:). I'm sure he's honestly not a bad guy not a bad father either but he reminds me a lot of my best friend's husband. Tasks defaulted to her and her alone. Her husband wouldn't even change a diaper :sad2: much less take up the task of soothing their child even if that meant leaving (situationally sometimes this is the best). I'm not saying your husband is like that just that it made me think of the situation.

Back to your dilemma do you happen to have a theme or amusement park at home that will be open in enough time to know how your son will do? I've always suggested practice runs there if people have them. Maybe consider places where you get breaks but don't necessarily have to leave the parks for cases when you know you don't really have to leave completely (rest areas inside or under shade) but don't take on the whole task yourself switch where you take the older child or everyone takes time out to decompress and have a quick break. Tom Sawyer Island at MK is a nice place or Tomorrowland, in Epcot the Land Pavilion works well IMO although sometimes its noise can be a bit chaotic so it depends on just what type of break you're needing, In DHS I feel it's a bit harder without sitting at a CS/QS type place (outdoors or indoors) but maybe the back area by PizzeRizzo and Mama Melrose for a more secluded spot to at least breath for a moment. At AK I feel like there was places to sit outside of the exit for DINOSAUR where it was underneath building supports with foliage around but I can't remember exactly if that was the case. There are places around in Pandora to just sorta sit and if animals are soothing to your children AK is perfect lol. Those are just some things I could think of off the top of my head but I know many posters have spots they've found over the years.

I don't think you're crazy for canceling but I do think what came across most on your posts was about your husband not helping out. Also have you traveled with this set of in-laws before? To Disney or some other labor intensive vacation? I know you said grandma came last time didn't know which grandma. If you think for one minute that the in-laws will add more stress it's not going to be a vacation to go on with the other stuff you've had to deal with.

The baby only did short stroller rides at home when we went on a walk or to the zoo etc. He was half and half on liking it or not and when he cried we held him. Our 6 year old never cried in the stroller when he was younger. We actually did Zoo etc in anticipation for Disney to see how he handled the stroller and it wasn't great but we knew Disney has lots of things to see so we thought the distraction would be nice. Both trips had agrivating factors though (July heat and December teething) so when he just wasn't feeling great he definitely wasn't putting up with a stroller. I don't mind a little fussing but screaming until someone picked him up (meaning long periods) isn't good for him, us or anyone around us.

I am with you on the break locations. For the most part we had trouble with this since there just weren't spots in the shade anywhere. Typically our sit down reservations or shopping are great times to take these sorts of breaks but he just wasn't lasting long enough to even get to those points.

In December my mom was the one who went, in May it will be my husbands parents. They have been to Disney with us twice (once was when we had our older child). They are fine to travel with and can certainly stay in the room with the kids but they aren't really helpful otherwise (like they can't hold him in a ride que or sit on the hub grass with him etc. they won't even hold him at a restaurant) They won't add any stress but not overly helpful with aleviating it either.
 
I remember I took a trip with a DGD when she was about 1 1/2 ish. Parents went on tower of terror, she was screaming in stroller....screaming screaming screaming . I'm walking (to share the joy) suddenly we came upon a meet and greet of Jo Jo , all screaming stopped in one nanosecond.


I feel if the grandparents are willing and able to take the baby for an hour or two each day, I'd go. If baby was sleeping in stroller and grandparents just sat in one spot while you went on rides with DH and other child, that would be ideal.

On one of our trip with young grandchild, it was warmish/hot. I put water on the tray of his stroller. He had great fun splashing. Yes, he got a little wet, but he was in one spot. I wasn't chasing him, while others went on splash mountain.

Make sure Grandparents are well stocked with any types of snacks, toddler really loves. I would dole out snacks one piece at a time. Again keep him in one spot for a longer time.

Or if the grandparents are up to it. You, DH and older child head out for rope drop. Grandparents come along an hour or two later with baby.

Instead of going back to room, how about just boarding a bus or boat and make a round trip. Some kids love the transportation more than the rides in the parks.
 
It’s too much money to spend to stay in the room with a fussy baby.

Every baby is different, and most likely your kiddo will grow out of this phase —-but even at 1 year old they’re still a baby.

A heart to heart with DH about expectations (and responsibilities) is in order. My husband and I have a 3 year old and a 8 month old…been to Disney few times with the kiddos at many ages & we definitely have to take turns with who is with the little guy.

Also, keep in mind, May will be warm (not July hot, but definitely you will want pool time and AC).

I’m rooting for you!
 
I'd cancel and try again when baby is 2 or 3. We took my son at 14 months and it was not a good trip, we were also there with grandparents and they were not helpful. We've taken him since at ages 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 and every other trip was really good (they keep getting better every year). He is super go go and sitting in a stroller, or being held, was not going to happen when he was 1 and it made lines basically impossible. He also wouldn't nap in the stroller because of all the outside stimulation.
 
They have been to Disney with us twice (once was when we had our older child). They are fine to travel with and can certainly stay in the room with the kids but they aren't really helpful otherwise (like they can't hold him in a ride que or sit on the hub grass with him etc. they won't even hold him at a restaurant) They won't add any stress but not overly helpful with aleviating it either.
That's a shame honestly although perhaps your husband picked up his viewpoint from them. I def. don't think other people going in one's traveling party have to help but often when it's the grandparents they come along to help and enjoy the trip with their kids and grandkids.
We actually did Zoo etc in anticipation for Disney to see how he handled the stroller and it wasn't great but we knew Disney has lots of things to see so we thought the distraction would be nice.
Maybe he's just not a stroller kid, the feeling of being confined all the time. That might be a case for waiting a bit longer when he's not having to be in the stroller all the time vs just some of the time when he's tuckered out. Disney has a lot of stimulus so a kid who doesn't like a stroller combined with all this stimuli might just be too much. I think if he couldn't get to the point of resting that might be your clue to hold off a bit longer. The weather def. has an impact on everyone, adults thrown tantrums too :laughing:

I'm not going to say outright cancel but I would def. take the next few months to see how the temperament goes. If you do go people have got to pitch in to help, it's just not fair for you to take on this, it's your trip too :) Alternatively if you do go half days may be all that can be done with the younger one and alternate who goes back with the younger one for pool time, room time, nap time, etc and who stays with the older one.

I wish you the best :flower3:
 












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