Disney Announces Acquisition of Leader in CGI

[airlarry!]

Disney Announces Acquisition of Leader in CGI
by Annie Mation

Burbank, CA--The public battle between Pixar, Inc.'s CEO Steve Jobs and embattled CEO of The Walt Disney Company, Michael Eisner, has heated up in the press lately. Yesterday's news of Pixar backing away from the bargaining table sent the shares of both companies' stock falling.

Eisner may have the last laugh, according to executives at Disney who are crowing that the California based entertainment empire has inked a deal with a new, up-and-coming animation outfit that they claim will rival in profits and productivity anything the company would have received by renewing the pact with Pixar.

Officials have confirmed Disney is set to purchase Ed's CGI and Touch-Free Car Wash, Inc., a small, Emersonville, California animation unit, coincidentally located directly across the street from the sprawling campus home of Pixar.

The company, which is privately held by Ed Edwards and his step-mother, Ivanna Deal, is being purchased for an as-yet undisclosed sum of cash, stock options, and two lifetime passes to Disney's California Adventure. The company's website, www.edscgiandtouchfreecarwashinc.com, touts the firm as "The new leader in state-of-the art CGI animation and a full service, brushless car wash company to boot."

Apparently, the recommendation to purchase came directly from the head of Disney, Michael Eisner.

"I was leaving the offices of Pixar this morning, after spending an enjoyable morning with John Lassiter and Steve Jobs giving them over how Pixar could deliver growth while maximizing shareholder value, when I noticed Ed's Touch Free car wash right across the street," said Eisner at the press conference announcing the deal.

"Intrigued, I asked my driver to 'put us through,' and while waiting for the suds to start, I struck up a conversation with Ed Edwards, who has a brand new IBM 286 computer in his office which had a permanent demo of his latest project. I smelled genuis, and asked him to join forces with us immediately."

The press conference ended with a demonstration of the first feature to be distributed by Ova Raydid, Disney's newly appointed CGI chief. "I will work directly with Ed, of Ed's CGI and Touchfree, on this great new project, tentatively titled, 'Cooly the Water Cooler Bottle and His Wonderful Friends,'" said Raydid.

The demonstration for a packed house of reporters in the former home of Superstar Limo, watched as a short fifteen minute clip played. The clip showed an impressive use of "Blenderman Software", Ed's proprietary CGI animtion creation engine, and followed the adventure of the rotund, Cooly, and his ever-present pals, Sharpie the Pencil and Pip the Paperclip.

"We expect the release to be ready in time for a release the week before The Incredibles, purely by coincidence of course," warned Raydid. "We are expecting great numbers from Ed and his wonderful staff."

 

[mitros]

Ha Ha!

 

[airlarry!]

Here's a great (real) article that gives both sides of the recent events surrounding DFA...

I went back and read some of this writer's earlier articles. He has a real sense of history and certainly seems to care about the industry a great deal. All of his articles are good reading.Rick Wickham at Laugingplace.com

 

[TheRustyScupper]

Disney stock plummeted more than 6% after the Pixar news.
However, the stock should now rebound with the current news.
Analysts believe there could be ample revenue to offset Pixar.


1) Disney is expected to "clean up" with the car wash across the street from Pixar. CEO Eisner was quoted as saying, "We are going from being negotiating duds to suds studs. We are all just bubbly inside.".

2) Disney expects to gain significant revenue from copyright protection. Eisner has quickly applied for trademark protection for the name "Ed". Eisner was overheard whispering. "With the same legal team that is stalling the Pooh case, we can get money from all the Ed's in the world, and still keep them bottled in court for several decades, which is about when I plan to retire. We can sue even person with the name Ed, as well as almost every newspaper in the world, since they use the term "Ed" at the end of every article on the editorial page. To should also shut down any media negative comments about my performance.".

3) Disney further announced that they can save costs and significantly improve output with this purchase. No longer must Vice Presidents and Board Members wash and detail Michael's cars to keep their jobs, since they have Touchfree. These highly paid individuals can now try to concentrate on job performance.

4) Although the cost of the transaction has not been announced, some believe Disney should have negotiated tougher. The cash purchase price is not an issue, as that is expensed during the current fiscal quarter. However, some are criticizing the two permanent annual passes to California Adventure . . . with the design and popularity of the park, it needs all the future revenue it can generate.

 

[airlarry!]

In the interests of fair and balanced reporting of rumors and news....Jim Hill's got a new article by a guest writer which argues that the separation between Pixar and Disney may be a good thing.

www.jimhillmedia.com

But this begs the question of who got the parties in this mess in the first place. Some have said Jobs' ego. Most say the empty space occupying the inside of Ei$ner's skull contributed to this precarious position.

Read for yourself and decide. We report, you decide.