Disney after divorce

[DisneyMama629]

My exhusband and I honeymooned at Disney, went there several times before our son was born, spent a couple anniversaries there, and took our son there at 3 months and for his first birthday.

I'm still going to Disney. I went for the Goofy challenge in January and for spring break. I'm taking our son for his 2nd birthday next month. Is it hard sometimes? Of course. There are times when I miss him like crazy. But there are also times when it's kind of nice not having him there and having to worry about his neediness all the time.

I refuse to let him take Disney from me. I did have to sell our DVC after the divorce, but I even try to see that as a positive. If I had DVC, I would never be staying at All Star Sports next month with my son who loves sports balls. He's going to go nuts when he sees the oversized balls!

 

[kellyg403]

Nope, I am pretty sure that i would be able to handle going alone and with the kiddos. With the rough spot in our marriage going on about 1 year, with changes and chances in site, there is a possibility that could happen. Then again, he is more than welcome to come along whether he my dh or ex.

In all sincerity, I love my dh, but my trips have been for myself and the kids. He goes, but he is not the lover we are. He has a tendency to stay back at the resort. He doesn't ride many rides, he will watch a show or two. So, I think it really wouldn't be much different.

Kelly

 

[RadioNate]

I'm in the same situation, getting divorced after cheating. We met working at WDW, got married there, honeymooned there, took tons of vacations there, spent my kids birthdays there, had a big 10 year anniversary there & it was our last family vacation before I confirmed his affair. Disney is us.

I'm going to Disneyland on Wednesday.

He has taken so much from me. He won't take WDW too. I'm not ready to go back yet but I will be. The last trip is bittersweet to me because he called her from the trip & I ran across an email from here that he lied & explained it away. The whole trip was a disaster.

I will go back, in my own time. I will "reclaim" WDW as mine.

Take it slow with her, it takes years of healing. Maybe suggest Disneyland or a cruise. If I can afford it next year, I think we will do a cruise before WDW.

It takes time, she'll get there.

 

[disney1990]

Oh hell honey, no way someone's gonna ruin Disney for me! I'd find some way to get over it.

What he said. I love Disney too much to let somebody ruin it for me.

 

[tink20]

Thank you all so much for sharing your personal stories. My sister, just loved WDW so much, and I just want her to feel that way again. Her children are still young (I kept them when they were babies, so I am very close to them) and I just want us to all go back and make new memories. Time does help heal. After reading your experiences, it seems like one day, she may be able to go back.

 

[LOVETHATMOUSE]

Well....I hate to say this, but no it wouldn't bother me...perhaps because I have been down there without dh already (a few mom and dd trips under the belt already), and like a previous poster, those trips were more relaxed and calm. Sometimes I think back to our Honeymoon and the great time we had there, but over the years, there has not been a trip that he hasn't blown a gasket over something - that now has become the norm

 

[Disney Doll]

Time heals all wounds.

It's a cliche, I know, but it is quite true.

Perhaps do something that is "different" Disney, such as the cruise, to ease her into Disney again.

Or perhaps consider taking her kids without her if she really can't do it and the kids want to go.

After a loss, people continually change. One day they can't do something, 2 weeks later they can. It's an up and down thing. As the divorce gets further "away" in time, my guess is that she will go back to Disney again.

If DH & I ever divorced, I'd have to force myself to go the 1st time, probably have sad moments, but I'd have to do it because I would never allow Disney to be taken from me.

 

[XYSRUS]

Oh hell honey, no way someone's gonna ruin Disney for me! I'd find some way to get over it.

I would be..."Glad you're not here!"

 

[goofyernmost]

Too bad you live so far from CT. I have a friend who would be perfect for you!

Where were you a month and a half ago when I still lived in Vermont?

 

[RadioNate]

Thank you all so much for sharing your personal stories. My sister, just loved WDW so much, and I just want her to feel that way again. Her children are still young (I kept them when they were babies, so I am very close to them) and I just want us to all go back and make new memories. Time does help heal. After reading your experiences, it seems like one day, she may be able to go back.

Give her time. I'm not saying this is you but in situations like this people tend to be quick with the 'get over it & move on' advice. If only it were that easy. Her whole life has been shattered. Her hopes & dreams for the future. Picture your future, how you see yourself & your life, then imagine you have to change EVERYTHING about that. A lot of times we define ourselves as our roles, mother, wife, friend, sister. One of those defining characteristics has been ripped from her w/out warning or choice. The very foundation of who she is has been shaken. She needs time to greive, mourn the loss. How long has it been? Even after she does the hard work, the 1st trip will be hard & full of triggers. She needs time. And she knows best what she can & can't handle right now. If this is new to her, it is all she can do to focus on herself & the kids. What you want, even if it is for her benefit, is too much right now.


Take it slow. Just love her. Listen to her. I hate this word as much as anyone who has been through it...time.

 

[minniebride]

There's always new memories to be made at Disney.

I agree. I think the first few days might be tough, but if she plows through & tries to focus on the future & current new memories & remember those good days as good memories, it can likely be a very powerful part of the healing process<--I would force myself to go just based on that alone.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

It wouldn't stop me from going but then I go alone as often as I can swing it.

My husband likes WDW but not as much as me. Even my kids don't like it as much as me. Guess I'm just a big nearly 50 year old kid.

 

[mom3sonstt]

My husband had gone to WDW with his first wife and their kids about 3, maybe 4 times. Also took, I think, both set of their parents with them at least once. When we got married we honeymooned there (it was only my 2nd trip to WDW - the first was when I was 11), and have been close to 20 times together now. There was no cheating in their divorce, but the memories he made on their vacations didn't stop him from making new ones with me. On our early trips it was kind of funny (now - wasn't so much then) he would confuse things. He would comment about a watch that "I" bought - only it was one that she had bought, or some other memory that would pop into his head that happened with her that he thought was with me.

 

[Disney Doll]

Where were you a month and a half ago when I still lived in Vermont?

Well, if you're ever coming back CT way, let mwe know. I'll do a little set up!

 

[shine87]

this coming trip will be my first without my x but it just makes me want to have the trip of a lifetime and make beautiful memories with our daughter that he'll have to miss out on for being such a dirtbag

 

[Mlissa88]

Its not me, its my younger sister. She is the one who got me crazy about WDW, (we never got to go as kids) we all went in 2008 the whole family, we took our parents (their first time at WDW) this was the last trip of her marriage. She hasn't been back since, I just hope one day she can go back and have fun. Anytime I mention WDW, she says, there are other places to go and she has no interest in going to WDW, she used to love WDW.

Maybe you can plan a girls trip? Just the two of you...