I'm having the worst time.

I am five week past my last chemo and my hair is still coming out in clumps. I spent $1800 to cold cap and endured hours of discomfort and cold and while I still have hair it's still depressing. I have a huge bald spot that goes from ear to ear over the top of my head and only a small bit of hair left by my forehead to "comb back" to try and hide the bald. I have nothing left on the sides so I look like Christopher Lloyd except with some hair by my forehead. The hair I do have left though in the back is still shedding every time I comb. In clumps not even just random hairs. I know I should be happy I have hair but I put so much hope into cold capping that I am disappointed.
On top of that I just can't seem to bounce back from chemo plus I started rads already, 8 down, 27 left to go

I am tired, I have neuropathy(sp) in my toes and my muscles HURT. Every day my arms and legs feel like I was exercising the day before even if all I did was relax. I can barely walk with the aches, the toes and the complete lack of energy and the tired some get from rads isn't even supposed to hit yet, the Oncologist said after next week i should start to see some symptoms. Great - this is going to get worse? I feel better than the first week right after Chemo but I thought I'd bounce back a bit better than this.
I'm just done in mentally because of this. There is not even a single day where I have felt close to the old me. The past 5 months has done so much damage that I wonder if I will ever feel like I did again. Sorry to be so negative but nobody else gets this. They placate and try and spin it positively but there's nothing positive about having cancer.