Dining Dilemma

[Figment56]

I have never experienced this before and really need some advice! My daughter has invited a friend to join us when we go in August. We just found out that this girl will NOT eat in any restuarant! This is not a young girl but a college student. She has some phobia about eating out. She also is not on the dining plan at college. We usually love to go to the restaurants and make our ressies way ahead of time. Do we leave her back at the resort and go out for dinner? We also wanted to add the dining plan, so do we just say it is a party of three checking in to get the dining plan and let her and my daughter share her card to get in and out? I really have a dilemma and don't know what to do! Should we make ressies for 4 and only three will be eating? See what I mean!

 

[CarolAnnC]

It is not a good idea to not put her on the ressie and provide her a KTTW card. In August they are often checking cards at BWV pool I know for sure, and at BCV you will always have to provide your card to use the Stormalong Bay pool area.

Also, she will need it for the early morning park hours in order to be allowed entry. I would add her to the DDP, make sure she knows she has to pay for this, and let her bring doggie bags to the meals.

And, I would also suggest to her parents that she get help for her eating disorder because that is obviously what is going on here.

 

[starbox]

It is not a good idea to not put her on the ressie and provide her a KTTW card. In August they are often checking cards at BWV pool I know for sure, and at BCV you will always have to provide your card to use the Stormalong Bay pool area.

Also, she will need it for the early morning park hours in order to be allowed entry. I would add her to the DDP, make sure she knows she has to pay for this, and let her bring doggie bags to the meals.

And, I would also suggest to her parents that she get help for her eating disorder because that is obviously what is going on here.

That's very sad - and I agree w/PP that it sounds like an eating disorder - which is really, really serious. You can't plan your vacation around not eating. If it were me, I'd have a serious talk w/ DD - is a Disney vacation really a good idea for a person who will not eat anything in a restaurant/in public? Perhaps this young woman would be more comfortable visiting your family at your home? Would the friend be comfortable going to restaurants with you but not eating - many of the restaurants are an attraction in and of themselves.

If she feel able to handle Disney & you are sold on the DDP - I'd just get the DDP and use the extra credits to eat at a few signature places - just you and DH or w/ your daughter while her friend went back to the villa to eat.

 

[Figment56]

We are also considering getting the dining card (Yes, we are annual pass holders). This might be the better way to go because we can let her check-in with us and also we will make ressies for four and maybe she will/won't eat but at least we will be able to eat where we want to!

 

[Chuck S]

If she won't eat restaurant food, just what does she plan to eat on vacation?

I agree, you need to put her on the reservation, and then make a decision as to whether the DDP is best for you this trip, or not. If you really want the DDP, then this girl either needs to decide to eat, or realize that her not eating would possibly put you and your family in a bit of financial quandary about paying for the DDP and not using it. I think, personally, you have a legitimate reason to "dis-invite" this person, and be sure she understands why.

 

[rinkwide]

I seem to have the same eating disorder, but in reverse.

 

[all4fun]

The DDE card now just seems to be a way to offset the 18% auto-gratuity they add to your bill.

If you plan to have three meals a day sometimes, you could add her to your dining plan and use her credits for the extra table counter service, table service, and snacks the rest of your party might want.

 

[princessvacg]

I know someone like that also. Personally, if that was my daughter, I would want her on the trip. Also, if you still want the DDP I would talk to someone to let them know the situation and I am sure they would still let you get the DDP without her on it. This is a special circumstance.

 

[princessvacg]

Sorry, my bad, I read the post wrong. I thought it was the posters daughter. I would still see about getting the DDP without her on it.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

She may not have an eating disorder. She may just have a phobia. I have OCD and I cannot eat in certain restaurants, due to past experiences with hair in my food, friends who worked there that mentioned cleanliness issues, etc. She may have an aversion to food prepared by people she does not know. That is not an eating disorder. I cannot eat off of dishes at home that have been washed by anyone but myself or DH. (how do I eat at restaurants? My ex is a cook and told me the dishwashers at restaurants could burn the skin off your arm. True? Maybe not, but whatever works. It gets me out to dinner. )

I wish I had some advice for you. I have a whole plethora of things that I do or use (my wonderful compulsions) that get me through it and let me do things that I normally would not have been able to. But without knowing her specific issue, it is tough, and since this is not something new for her, I don't see her fixing it suddenly for a vacation, unfortunately.

I do recommend that your daughter encourage her friend to see someone about this phobia, because if it is a germaphobia type thing, it most likely WILL get worse, and she may find herself completely locked away in her house, afraid to go anywhere. I have been there.

 

[Chuck S]

Sorry, my bad, I read the post wrong. I thought it was the posters daughter. I would still see about getting the DDP without her on it.

It has been reported that for the DDP everyone in the room has to be on it, even those with medical nutritional requirements, so I doubt they will remove someone that will be there for the entire trip but just won't eat. It won't hurt to try, but I really doubt you'll be successful.

 

[TisBit]

We are also considering getting the dining card (Yes, we are annual pass holders). This might be the better way to go because we can let her check-in with us and also we will make ressies for four and maybe she will/won't eat but at least we will be able to eat where we want to!

DDE definitely seems to be the way to go then. A lot cheaper than paying for an extra DDP!

The DDE card now just seems to be a way to offset the 18% auto-gratuity they add to your bill.

Without getting off topic, this might be one way to look at it, but you have to tip something anyways.....so its still a discount. Now if you usually stiff them on their tip, then your right, no savings! j/k

 

[bbangel]

She may not have an eating disorder. She may just have a phobia. :

I was going to say this exact same thing. I have a friend who suffers from OCD and she has real problems eating out. Your daughters friend may already be seeking treatment for her problem and calling attention to it will only make her feel worse. Hard to tell you what to do. Is talking to her parents an option?

 

[zumbergc]

Does the girl have some type of food allergy, food preservative issues going on? If she did, she may feel its just easier eating back at the resort because she knows what she is eating is safe.

Being around people who are not senstive to those kinds of issues, because it does sometimes take longer because things are prepared seperately, you have to wait to see the chef etc, and may not want to deal w/ that. Disney will help out w/ food allergy issues, although on 2 occasions I got sick from their "safe meal" that was prepared for me. Some people view it as someone being picky, verse the issue that it makes them sick.

If it isn't prepared correctly the first time, having to wait yet again for them to prepare the food.

 

[Dean]

This is a tough situation. I hope this was explained to you prior to her being invited or at least the plans being finalized. I wish the best for the young lady in question but don't want it to put too much a damper on your plans. As asked earlier, what IS she going to do about food. Will she do counter service, will you have a car to get her things she may need/want, how much of your time will be spent accomodating this issue. It does seem she needs help regardless of the root of her issues, I hope she is getting it but realize it's not your place to know or tell. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

 

[BigMama]

Maybe She Should Reconsider Going. Or. Just Go To The Restaurant Without Her I'm Sure She Is Use To It.

 

[Lynne M]

Maybe She Should Reconsider Going. Or. Just Go To The Restaurant Without Her I'm Sure She Is Use To It.

Yeah, but she's going to have to eat something. I think you need more information from her, before making any decisions. If she's concerned about cleanliness of food prep, will she not eat any food that's prepared in a restaurant? Since she knows that you'll be staying at a timeshare, is she assuming that you'll be cooking in the villa most of the time?

 

[snowbunny]

And, I would also suggest to her parents that she get help for her eating disorder because that is obviously what is going on here.

My first thought as well.
Edited to add, it should be relatively easy to determine whether the problem is a phobia such as germs, or an eating disorder, such as anorexia. Either way she needs help and in your position, I would have to ask myself whether the condition is something I am willing to enable by agreeing to work around it.

 

[Figment56]

To answer a lot of your questions, no, we did not know of this before she was invited. Also, I guess she won't eat anything that someone else has touched. I don't think my daughter knew this of this girl ahead of time because my daughter mentioned about going to the restaurants and this is when her friend told her of her situation! This was after she had already booked her plane ticket! I believe that this girl plans on eating in the timeshare by making her own food (things that other people have touched)! I really would like to ask my daughter to uninvite this girl (we've never met her-new college friend) but don't know how to do it in a diplomatic way as she already has her plane ticket! My daughter is an only child and for the past 5 or 6 years we have allowed her to take a friend or my niece has come with us a few times. Some years have been more trying than others but never anything like this!

 

[CarolMN]

If it were me, I'd just get the DDE for this trip, make the reservations for the restaurants you & your DH want and ask your daughter to talk to her friend about meals.

If you won't have a car, the friend is going to have to rely on things from the resort's general store, or pack some food in her luggage to take along. Your daughter is the one who will be obligated to spend the most time with her friend (who is her guest) and have to deal with the eating issues.

Perhaps your daughter will choose to go back to the room to eat with her friend if you all are out at meal times. (Counter service does offer to go - your daughter can do that and maybe the friend will be OK with pre-packaged items or whole fruit that she can wash herself, etc.). I think it is up to your daughter to explain how the meals will work and the friend to deal with it. You are just providing the lodging, right?

FWIW, I don't think it is really your place to suggest the friend get help. I think the friend knows she has a problem. Just be sure your daughter tells her friend what to expect - maybe the friend will elect to cancel.

Good luck!