Did your parents have a big 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration?

[TheLittleRoo]

I have no idea what is the 'norm' for grown kids to do for their parents' celebration. I thought my mom wanted a small (just family, and extended family and the very closest of friends - less than 30 ppl) for their celebration. Turns out she wants to invite 100 people, and have it be a renewal of vows with us as the honor attendants!

So, as one of the daughters, I'm beginning to think we're expected to be the hosts of this event, and work out the details for her. This is completely news to me - and she's decided this needs to happen in the next 6 weeks!

Did anyone host a 50th for your parents, what is the norm for the celebration level of formality, is this like a mini-wedding kind of thing all over again? Is it the kids who are the hosts? OMG, I am so behind in all of this!

 

[Miz Diz]

We did a surprise party for our parents and sent them to Hawaii. Well, we told my dad because we didn't want him to make plans. We told my mom that I was paying for them to go to Disney and stay at the Poly (I got to be the good daughter for a few months) so that she would be packed. At the party, we told them they were going to Hawaii. My mom was totally shocked and it was the first time anyone ever saw her speechless (she's a talker). We invited all their close friends and old friends that they were close to when they lived in another town. We couldn't believe who all showed up. They live in South Carolina and we had people come from as far as Texas.

We rented a place that my sister suggested because she knew the owners. It was not very fancy, but it wasn't a dump. It had a kitchen and we did all the food ourselves - buffet style. Everyone went on and on about how much they loved it and thought we had it catered in. We put up a bulletin board with old photos of them and the family and my brother did a slide show. We had a singer, but he is in their church and did not charge us.

I don't know if it is the norm to renew marriage vows, but I think it is normal that the kids do something.

There were about 100 people there, but we started planning about 7 months in advance.

 

[PTL]

My parent's 50th anniversary is this december. I am one of 6 kids and we are planning a cruise for my family. All the kids are splitting the cost of mom and dad's trip, so they will have no expenses.

I think this is a huge deal, think about how many people you know that have been together for 50years !!!!!!

The cruise was the kids decision, not my parents, but they are thrilled to have something to look forward to, especially since 2 of my family members live in other states. The idea of them having all their kids and grandkids together for 5 days is quite a joy for them. There have only been a couple of times over the years when our whole family was present for holidays.

I do think they would have been happy with a simple church friend celebration, but we just wanted to do more.

 

[Metro West]

Yes...they went on a 10 day Alaska cruise.

 

[spalady]

My 3 brothers and I had a party for my parents, they choose who they wanted to invite so it was about 75 people. They renewed their vows at church, we rented a hall the food was catered and even had a small wedding cake it was a very nice "wedding" We also pitched in and bought them a 36" tv then sent them back to Niagra Falls where they went on a honeymoon 50 years before. It was something they will never forget, so I'm glad we did it.

 

[TheLittleRoo]

My parent's 50th anniversary is this december. I am one of 6 kids and we are planning a cruise for my family. All the kids are splitting the cost of mom and dad's trip, so they will have no expenses.

I think this is a huge deal, think about how many people you know that have been together for 50years !!!!!!

The cruise was the kids decision, not my parents, but they are thrilled to have something to look forward to, especially since 2 of my family members live in other states. The idea of them having all their kids and grandkids together for 5 days is quite a joy for them. There have only been a couple of times over the years when our whole family was present for holidays.

I do think they would have been happy with a simple church friend celebration, but we just wanted to do more.

Yes, this is what I thought my mom wanted too, and so I was trying to plan for that and budget for that (time and money). But now I think that is in addition to this event for friends and extended family, as in two separate events in April and later in September. In addition, my nephews are graduating from college and high school in June. I'm sure my sister expects us to fly out for that too, to the tune of $1K each set of plane tickets. I only work part time, and don't have the money to do all these things but don't want to be the ogre either.

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

My brothers and I hosted a surprise party for our parents 50th. We had a dinner/dance on a yacht. It was beautiful and intimate - we had about 60 people - just family and close friends. 3 years later, my mom still talks about what a wonderful time she had.

 

[SuzanneSLO]

My parents hosted their own party, which is what they wanted. My Dad had just finished overseeing the construction of a new community hall at their church and he really wanted to put it to use! As the oldest daughter, I helped my Mom with things like table arrangements and favors, but my parents shouldered most of the costs themselves.

There were about 100 guests for a luncheon and it was lovely. My Dad did a photo timeline of their lives together to display at the event, which still hangs in their front hall at home!

-- Suzanne

 

[bdcp]

My sisters and I threw a party near my parents home in an Elk's lodge. My mom made the guest list and my sisters and I paid for it. We did the decorations and had it catered during the middle of the afternoon with meatballs, fruit, cheese, veggies, and several other items. We provided the drinks (wine, beer, soda and water). We also had a cake made with their wedding picture on it. We played 50's music and had a slide show going the whole time. There were around 85 people there. For my inlaws we had a small party in my BIL's home, with about 25 of their friends/family which is all they wanted.

 

[hinodis]

Congrats to mom and dad!!! I think you need to plan a big party if that is what your mom wants. Your very lucky....my parents split up after 48 years of marriage and DH's dad died before there 50th. DH and I just celebreated our 20th on the beach in florida.

 

[swea_pea1]

My mom (God rest her soul) planned her 50th wedding anniversary from the moment she got back from her first honeymoon. My grandmother had planned and orchestrated her whole wedding so Mom didn't get the wedding she wanted.

As we got closer, Mom started to get pretty specific about what she wanted. She was so funny - a repressed bridezilla out for revenge. She told me I had to find a gold tie for my 5 year old because it's the golden anniversary. Do you know how hard it is to find a gold tie for a kid? She'd call all of us (I have 6 siblings) and say "I'm taking a vote...should we have the party on a Friday or Saturday". We all said Saturday. Fine, settled then, we'll have it on Friday Then another round of calls "would you rather have it in a hall or the country club?" We all vote hall. OK then, we'll have it at the country club.

Every decision was a fake vote so that she could make us feel like we had input. Of course, we didn't vote on footing the bill. That was pretty much mandated. How could we begrudge them though? They paid for 7 weddings over the years. We were happy to do it.

We had the band, the wedding cake, the flowers, the engraved invitations, the whole nine yards. The only thing they didn't have was the renewed vows but only because Dad put a stop to it. His thinking was that he said them once and meant it - no need to do it again.

Mom and Dad had the time of their lives. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

[runwad]

My parent's 50th anniversary is this december. I am one of 6 kids and we are planning a cruise for my family. All the kids are splitting the cost of mom and dad's trip, so they will have no expenses.

I'm one of 5 kids and we did this for my mom and dads 40th, so glad we did as they both are gone now and never made it to their 50th

 

[Darcy03231]

We just did my parent's 50th last fall. We rented a hall that had a kitchen and did everything ourselves - invitations, food, flowers, decorations, etc. There were about 100 guests and my parents had a wonderful time.

 

[Plantlady]

My parents aren't there yet. We'll do something for them I'm sure. I am the only daughter, and have one brother (with a sister in law).. I think most of it will fall on me.

But, they're worth it.

We're getting closer.. my DH is an only child, so, we'll be in charge of his side of the family as well.

busy busy.

 

[momx2]

My parents aren't there yet, but my in-laws have had their 50th celebration. I'm glad now we did it as FIL is now deceased. They have 3 children: 1 daughter and 2 sons. The daughter is estranged kind of. Anyway, my SIL (now ex SIL) and I were told by my MIL that we would be throwing them a party. She didn't tell her sons, but us. The 2 of us were expected to do and pay for everything. Their daughter showed up for the party at the church, didn't lift a finger and left all while SIL and me were running aroung like crazy. So since SIL is now an ex, guess who gets to take care of everything now!?!?

 

[Mickey527]

We did it for my parents 50th although it was really their 49th.
Long story but suffice to say my brother is older than we always thought. We never knew and there are 6 of us, but the entire extended family did know. My aunt tells me now that it was hard for any of them to keep quiet when we sent out invites to a 50th party that wasn't really there yet.
So for their 51st we had a small party with a 50 year cake.
I am glad we did it though, my parents were surprised and thrilled with the party and even though the family laughed at us we and my parents had a great time. It is not that often that all 6 of us get together since some of us live out of state and the weekend was a great time.

 

[mjantz]

My parents are about 15 years away from their 50th but knowing them we'll probably just do a family vacation. They aren't party/reception people & I think they'd probably prefer a cruise over cake & punch with friends & family.

 

[disneymiss]

Just did the 50th last year for my parents, I have two younger brothers, my parents did not want a fuss, they just wanted family.....so we all got together at my one brothers house, he had the biggest party area and had whole lobsters and strip and ribeye steaks, with all the fixins, they loved it for everyone as in kids, grandkids were able to get there....

we wanted to send them somewhere but my mothers is deathly afraid to fly so all we heard of for a year was we do not want to go anywhere... and I a DVC member would of loved to send them to Disney but I think they would rather have the whole group get together for that, but then how to get them there no flying and no driving cause of the distance....

 

[da-winnie-pooh]

Well, you guys are making me feel guilty.

I have one single brother, one henpecked brother and me. My parents' anniversary is on the day after Christmas - I mean, who does that??? Anyway, my dad's family always has a reunion right around the same time and we didn't think it was right to make everyone make a trip twice in 2 weeks. Also, one can't count on good weather in Tennessee in December. So, single brother and I ended up making a nice dinner for them. Henpecked brother wasn't there, because his wife wouldn't let him come out and play. Paying for a nice trip wasn't an option. Single brother's ex-wife took him to the cleaners and henpecked brother's wife won't let him spend his money how he wants to. Plus, they're poor. We're living within our means. AND my parents have a pretty high net worth, they could certainly have gone on a much nicer trip than we could have bought for them.

And, my parents aren't exactly nice to me, they've always treated my brothers better. So, I didn't feel that it was necessary to take money away from our family's vacation budget to send them on a trip that they wouldn't appreciate, anyway.

Still, I do feel bad.

 

[SunKat]

When my parents celebrated their 50th a few years ago, I threw a party for about 60 of their closet friends, plus relatives. It was at a local upscale restaurant and it was a great success. I researched what music was popular the year they were married and had those songs playing for the entire party. For favors for the guests, I had Godiva chocolates which I wrapped in individual gold boxes. I asked that guests not bring gifts, but many did. I had a limo pick up my parents and bring them to the party, which was a surprise.

At the time, I was debating whether to send my parents on a cruise or a weekend getaway instead of the party. I decided that since my parents travel so often, they'd prefer a party with all their friends. As I'm an only child, my dh and I paid for the party, no siblings to help with the cost. All in all, the total cost was about $2000 and everyone had a fantastic time.