Did you see this: Marie Claire magazine posts "Should fatties get a room?" article.

[Mama-san]

I don't believe the writer of the Marie Claire article should apologize, if that is her opinion, but considering that at least 30% of Americans are obese, she needs to get over it. We're all people, who have families and lives - get over being so shallow.

I don't care for excessive PDA from anybody.

I do consider the term "fattie" to be derogatory towards an overweight individual. (There are other uses for this word that aren't so bad).

I believe the saying goes "I may be fat but you're stupid and least I can lose weight!".

 

[Robinrs]

But he wasn't claiming to have walked in your shoes, all he did was post a definition. I have no idea what your situation has to do with a poster pointing out the hypocrisy in this thread, especially when its so obvious anyway. Or why you felt the need to draw attention to it in the first place. What he posted was the truth, that fact doesn't change (or even matter) if he never walked in your shoes, the actress' shoes, the blogger's shoes, the OP's, or any other poster's here

According to what he posted, every poster on here voicing their intolerance of the writer's opinion is a bigot, believe it or not that has nothing to do with your life.

I have the need to draw attention?????

Every person's "truth" is not everyone else's. Like you and "HIM" I post what I feel, do I need permission? what the...

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

Nope being gay or black is something you are born as.

Fat is a choice and therefore I have the choice not to like it!

OMG! Fat is NOT a choice. You are born with a certain body shape. There may be certain things you can do to help control your weight - i.e. exercise - but only so much is within your control. Some people cannot lose weight no matter what they do, others can eat all they want and still be skinny. It's just how it is, and you shouldn't look down on fat people. It's amazing the ignorance that is spread around.

 

[FireDancer]

I strongly disagree with your last paragraph. There are people who don't like PDA. So let's take the straight and the beautiful. If they don't like them doing PDA they don't like PDA. A given. In general, there is not an intolerance of straight lives and beautiful people.

And if these same people who don't like PDA saw a black and white kissing and two guys kissing - well they just don't like PDA. Got it. (I would like to meet these people who don't like PDA AND don't carry their judgements over to other areas - I'm sure they exist but not in the numbers you are claiming).


BUT firedancer - there are people every single day in this world that use "oh if it was two straight people, if it was a wife and husband, if it was a normal weight person, if it was two white peoople" I would still hate it because I hate PDA or I don't hate ________ and I'm not racist and I'm not homophobic and I'm not judgemental and THEY'RE LYING. THEY ARE LYING. Some of the people lying DO HATE gays, overweight people, some religions, some ethnicities, some races. And others that use these lines are just not exposed to other people's lives other than their own and react poorly.

And I believe that the numbers on the prior paragraph are miniscule as opposed to the latter.

Pointe Finale says Lisa the bigot.

And by the way I believe that every single one of us is prejudiced. Why? Because we were born. And our issues and ways will never improve until we admit that. I believe that strongly. Especially in the area of racism.

I'm not really a big fan of PDA from anyone but if I have to watch it I want at least one of the people involved to be someone I find attractive. So that means that if you gave me the options of watching two attractive heterosexual people making out, two overweight people making out, or two men making out I would choose the first. It still doesn't mean I have any hatred for the other groups.

I suspect that if anyone did a blind experiment and showed those same three images to people the majority of folks would choose the picture that most resembles what they are attracted to as the least offensive.

If more people wanted to see obese people make out on camera that is what there would be. Since most, even if they won't admit it, would rather see attractive people that is what we get. As with almost everything demand dictates supply more than the other way around.

I would also bet that most of the ladies posting here about how unfair it is that people are judged on their bodies would choose the magazine with a half naked Justin Timberlake on the cover before picking up the identical magazine sitting next to it with John Goodman wearing only a Speedo. Reading here you would think it was only men who cared about the body of the opposite sex.

Okay, it was my curiousity when fatties became okay.

Probably about the same time as ressie.

Add this to the list of companies I will NEVER support in any way. What load of unecessary biggoted crap!

Don't be so sure. That magazine is distributed by Hearst so if you read Cosmo, The Oprah Magazine, Country Living, Good Housekeeping, or watch anything on A&E you are contributing to their bottom line. People say these kinds of things all the time but in reality they often end up handing money to the same company they claim they will never do business with through another division.

 

[ManMythLegend]

Eh, she is entitled to her opinion whether or not you agree with it or not. I hate when people claim that because they don't agree with an article, statement, interview, or whatever they are owed some kind of an apology. The author didn't want watch fat people make out, so what? Just as she was free to not watch the fatties make out on TV everyone is free to not read the article she wrote about it.

I don't want to watch the obese make out either, should I apologize for that too? I imagine more people don't want to watch it than do. Not wanting to watch them make out doesn't equate to not wanting them to find love, exist, or anything else. It just means you don't want to watch them sucking face.

Some people are a bit too sensitive if they allow what one person they don't know says about other people they don't know bother them.

Completely agree with the above!

 

[lisaviolet]

I'm not really a big fan of PDA from anyone but if I have to watch it I want at least one of the people involved to be someone I find attractive. So that means that if you gave me the options of watching two attractive heterosexual people making out, two overweight people making out, or two men making out I would choose the first. It still doesn't mean I have any hatred for the other groups.

I suspect that if anyone did a blind experiment and showed those same three images to people the majority of folks would choose the picture that most resembles what they are attracted to as the least offensive.

If more people wanted to see obese people make out on camera that is what there would be. Since most, even if they won't admit it, would rather see attractive people that is what we get. As with almost everything demand dictates supply more than the other way around.

I would also bet that most of the ladies posting here about how unfair it is that people are judged on their bodies would choose the magazine with a half naked Justin Timberlake on the cover before picking up the identical magazine sitting next to it with John Goodman wearing only a Speedo.

What? This is in response to my point.

I'm so confused.

Okay, I guess I suck at communicating.

I was pointing out one thing - that your statement that it doesn't mean hate doesn't hold water with me. Yes like I said sometimes people are being straight up with those type of statements but more than often they simply aren't - consciously or unconsciously.

My only point was don't fool yourself into thinking that racist, scared, ignorant, bigoted and judgemental people don't hide behind crap every single day like "I don't like any PDA (ignore me genuinely PDA hating people) " "I have nothing against _____ BUT", "I don't dislike immigrants...." blah blah blah and do hate the people they are talking about - or some less than hate - fear. Every single day. Maybe you don't - I get that. But people do and your post made it seem like it isn't humans' way of making themselves feel okay about their crap.


My head hurts. I'm simply not built for the Community Board. or for the BMI.

 

[ManMythLegend]

I don't see anything terribly wrong about what she wrote. She's not saying she hates obese people, she just saying she doesn't want to watch them on tv. Most people share her viewpoint. This is why dating shows on tv (Millionaire Matchmaker, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette) always have good looking, thin, fit people on them.

I remember a few years ago there was a copycat of The Bachelor but the bachelor was a huge obese guy and had his choice of huge obese women. The show got horrible ratings and was destroyed on a weekly basis by Joel Mchale on The Soup.

It's just a fact.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

Nope being gay or black is something you are born as.

Fat is a choice and therefore I have the choice not to like it!

Fat is not always a choice. I have been battling my weight since I was in high school. I was made fun of in high school for my weight (actually it happened right after I lost about 30 pounds because I started on a medicine that helped treat the medical condition that caused the weight to come on in the first place) so badly that I am still suffering from those feelings of self hatred today. I thought I never deserved to find anyone to love me because I was overweight - thankfully I found my wonderful DH who loves me for me, even though I don't truly love myself.

I have PCOS as well as an underactive thyroid and a metabolic disorder. How about this, I'll trade you my medical problems for your 'choice not to be fat'
and we'll see how long it will be until you come crying back for your own life.

And for your information, I have been trying to lose weight - as a matter of fact, I've been attending Weight Watchers for over a year and a half. It's puzzling to my endo that I'm stuck going between the same 5 pounds for almost a year now. It's frustrating and it makes me feel horrible about myself when I gain weight and I know I didn't eat anything differently that week than I had in the past.

Well, I've never seen the show, only a commercial for it. The female character (Molly I guess?) tells the male character "You just might get lucky tonight", or something like that. The mental image in my mind when I heard that was 'yuck'. I wouldn't want to see two obese people making out either, and I have plenty of people close to me - whom I love - who are obese.

I understand that you have people who you love who are obese, but would you feel any differently if it were two skinny and attractive characters on TV saying "You just might get lucky tonight"?

 

[lisaviolet]

I don't see anything terribly wrong about what she wrote. She's not saying she hates obese people, she just saying she doesn't want to watch them on tv. Most people share her viewpoint. This is why dating shows on tv (Millionaire Matchmaker, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette) always have good looking, thin, fit people on them.

I remember a few years ago there was a copycat of The Bachelor but the bachelor was a huge obese guy and had his choice of huge obese women. The show got horrible ratings and was destroyed on a weekly basis by Joel Mchale on The Soup.

It's just a fact.

Really?

I loved John Goodman. Love the guy on Modern Family. Loved Camryn Manheim on The Practice. Loved this extremely overweight actress that was on The YOung and the Restless and B and B. I thought Brian Dennehy was sexy as hell when I was twenty-one. Heck I ADORE Ursula and I don't even like Disney characters. So unfair to those princesses.

Am I alone?

I doubt it.

 

[ManMythLegend]

Really?

Yes. Camryn on The Practice was fine until she started making out George Vogelmann. Then that's when I had an issue.

 

[FireDancer]

What? This is in response to my point.

I'm so confused.

Okay, I guess I suck at communicating.

I was pointing out one thing - that your statement that it doesn't mean hate doesn't hold water with me. Yes like I said sometimes people are being straight up with those type of statements but more than often they simply aren't - consciously or unconsciously.

My only point was don't fool yourself into thinking that racist, scared, ignorant, bigoted and judgemental people don't hide behind crap every single day like "I don't like any PDA (ignore me genuinely PDA hating people) " "I have nothing against _____ BUT", "I don't dislike immigrants...." blah blah blah and do hate the people they are talking about - or some less than hate - fear. Every single day. Maybe you don't - I get that. But people do and your post made it seem like it isn't humans' way of making themselves feel okay about their crap.


That's all. And do you honestly see ressies (which I find annoying ) and fatties as comparable? In how they seem. Or were you merely being cheeky?

My head hurts. I'm simply not built for the Community Board. or for the BMI.

Maybe I missed you point in the post I quoted. I thought you were making a correlation between not wanting to see a subset of the population in a PDA (whether it be fat or gay) and bigotry. In response to that I said what I posted.

While I agree that some people don't want to see whatever subset in the PDA is because they are bigoted towards them it isn't a 1:1 relationship.

As for ressies and fatties, yes, I was just being cheeky but words only have the power you choose to give them.

Sadly I think people throw out the bigot card far too often and many times as a knee jerk reaction. If someone has any criticism of a subset of the population it is blown up into hating those people. That isn't the case. Just because someone dislikes one particular aspect of any given community it doesn't mean they dislike that community in general or feel superior to them.

I'll give you an example. In a discussion about immigrants lets say I am of the opinion that they should make an attempt to learn our language. There are a lot of people who would immediately jump on that and claim I am a bigot against immigrants when that isn't the case. I grew up with relatives that were off the boat from Sicily and have nothing against anyone who comes to our country from any other country legally. I just think that anyone immigrating anywhere (which would include me moving to a non-English speaking country) should expect to learn the language of the country in which they are residing. Just because I dislike one aspect that some members of a subset display doesn't mean I hate the whole group. This is apparently very hard for some to grasp.

Intelligent people should be able to have a discussion involving opposing, and even controversial, opinions without resorting to throwing out the bigot card. Many, unfortunately, don't.

 

[ManMythLegend]

I'll give you an example. In a discussion about immigrants lets say I am of the opinion that they should make an attempt to learn our language. There are a lot of people who would immediately jump on that and claim I am a bigot against immigrants when that isn't the case. I grew up with relatives that were off the boat from Sicily and have nothing against anyone who comes to our country from any other country legally. I just think that anyone immigrating anywhere (which would include me moving to a non-English speaking country) should expect to learn the language of the country in which they are residing.

Intelligent people should be able to have a discussion involving opposing, and even controversial, opinions without resorting to throwing out the bigot card. Many, unfortunately, don't.

Spot on as usual sir.

 

[honugirl]

This article really hurts me. I lived for many years with a condition called Cushing's Disease, which is excess cortisol production in the simplest terms. The cortisol makes you gain weight and nothing works to stop it. My disease was caused by a tumor on my pituitary gland. Unfortunately, the only fix for me was having my adrenal glands completely removed because the surgery to remove the pit tumor didn't work.

All my life I've been treated like a second class citizen. I hear the negativity and the comments quite often. Now to protect myself, I strike first with a fat joke because it hurts so much less to hear it come out of my own mouth. I'll even strike out in front of people I know care about me because I've learned to hate myself. I am in counseling now to attempt to fix my broken self image based on what the people around me and the world have told me.

It's kind of nice to see someone who looks like me on TV because as much as the real world wants to try and hide me away, I'm here. As much as you gorgeous people hate to look at me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere so just deal with it.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

This article really hurts me. I lived for many years with a condition called Cushing's Disease, which is excess cortisol production in the simplest terms. The cortisol makes you gain weight and nothing works to stop it. My disease was caused by a tumor on my pituitary gland. Unfortunately, the only fix for me was having my adrenal glands completely removed because the surgery to remove the pit tumor didn't work.

All my life I've been treated like a second class citizen. I hear the negativity and the comments quite often. Now to protect myself, I strike first with a fat joke because it hurts so much less to hear it come out of my own mouth. I'll even strike out in front of people I know care about me because I've learned to hate myself. I am in counseling now to attempt to fix my broken self image based on what the people around me and the world have told me.

It's kind of nice to see someone who looks like me on TV because as much as the real world wants to try and hide me away, I'm here. As much as you gorgeous people hate to look at me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere so just deal with it.

Although I don't have Cushing's Disease, your post sounds exactly like something I could have written about myself.

 

[superme80]

I don't like how people can just be cruel. That is all that article was.

 

[lisaviolet]

Maybe I missed you point in the post I quoted. I thought you were making a correlation between not wanting to see a subset of the population in a PDA (whether it be fat or gay) and bigotry. In response to that I said what I posted.

While I agree that some people don't want to see whatever subset in the PDA is because they are bigoted towards them it isn't a 1:1 relationship.

As for ressies and fatties, yes, I was just being cheeky but words only have the power you choose to give them.

Sadly I think people throw out the bigot card far too often and many times as a knee jerk reaction. If someone has any criticism of a subset of the population it is blown up into hating those people. That isn't the case. Just because someone dislikes one particular aspect of any given community it doesn't mean they dislike that community in general or feel superior to them.

I'll give you an example. In a discussion about immigrants lets say I am of the opinion that they should make an attempt to learn our language. There are a lot of people who would immediately jump on that and claim I am a bigot against immigrants when that isn't the case. I grew up with relatives that were off the boat from Sicily and have nothing against anyone who comes to our country from any other country legally. I just think that anyone immigrating anywhere (which would include me moving to a non-English speaking country) should expect to learn the language of the country in which they are residing.

Intelligent people should be able to have a discussion involving opposing, and even controversial, opinions without resorting to throwing out the bigot card. Many, unfortunately, don't.

Got it.

And I agree that we can't simply talk anymore in many ways.

Yes if someone has a criticism of a subset of a population it doesn't mean they hate them - FOR SURE - HAND'S DOWN. Agreed.

My point:

but it doesn't mean they don't hate them either. It's the simplest way for some to cowardly make their points, and look and feel good, instead of just saying, "I don't like ______." I admit I have problems with _______.

I "appreciate" out and out racists, homophobes and ignorant people or people who admit their limitations more than this type of hiding.

 

[lisaviolet]

Yes. Camryn on The Practice was fine until she started making out George Vogelmann. Then that's when I had an issue.

No hiding. Who knew my point would be made so quickly?

And you know darn well my "really?" was about your use of "most" and "a fact"

I had zero curiousity about if you were for real.

 

[lisaviolet]

This article really hurts me. I lived for many years with a condition called Cushing's Disease, which is excess cortisol production in the simplest terms. The cortisol makes you gain weight and nothing works to stop it. My disease was caused by a tumor on my pituitary gland. Unfortunately, the only fix for me was having my adrenal glands completely removed because the surgery to remove the pit tumor didn't work.

All my life I've been treated like a second class citizen. I hear the negativity and the comments quite often. Now to protect myself, I strike first with a fat joke because it hurts so much less to hear it come out of my own mouth. I'll even strike out in front of people I know care about me because I've learned to hate myself. I am in counseling now to attempt to fix my broken self image based on what the people around me and the world have told me.

It's kind of nice to see someone who looks like me on TV because as much as the real world wants to try and hide me away, I'm here. As much as you gorgeous people hate to look at me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere so just deal with it.

Honugirl -

Sighing. When you're not the "normal" size it's a long road to understand that one's size and your worth are a separated item. But they are. And I know words can seem empty on here. But all those comments and such - they aren't about you. They are about the person saying them. They CAN say them - have every right to think them and say them. But it shows a lot.

We all have judgements on things/issues - we're human but where do you think that writer would be if something happened to her and took her looks/size away. It would be agony for her. I suspect that it would be agony for her. Until she learned to adapt to a new way of seeing things. A very long road.

I'm sorry. Therapy is great. With the right therapist. My size and abuse made me very screwed up around these issues. My life is completely different now at 43. So know that it can change - your thought process around it all.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

The bottom line for me is:

You can hate whoever you want, you can say whatever you want.
I can take from that and turn into whatever feeling toward you I want.

So basically you can hate on "fat" people, gay people, mentally handicapped people, brunets, anyone over 5'5", green eyed people, Latinos, Norwegians, people who's name starts with A, G, T, W or Y, etc., all you want. But I can also think of you however I want.

 

[ManMythLegend]

And you know darn well my "really?" was about your use of "most" and "a fact"

I know what your "really?" was about. I said yes to your "really?"