Did I Overreact?

[va32h]

And no, I won't get mad if you say yes.

Today is my birthday. One of those mid-thirties birthdays that aren't especially fun to celebrate. A month ago I said that what a really wanted to do to was have a night out with the girls - with my girlfriends. So that means he'd stay home with our three kids.

So my husband said that was fine, and I made plans, inviting several friends to appetizers and a movie. A lot of people were going to have to get babysitters, or make arrangements with their spouses, or get home from work early, so this was not a spur of the moment thing.

One hour before I am supposed to leave to meet everyone, my husband says he has an emergency at work, and has to run back to his office (he had taken a half day).

His office is 30-45 minutes away, depending on traffic.

I say "you're joking right? This is a birthday joke?" Nope, he's serious. Now the movie starts at 7:05. Everyone's supposed to meet me at 6 at the restaurant next to the theater. It's 5:05, and he's walking out the door.

I am in tears...I have to call all my friends, and tell them to cancel. There is no way he could possibly get back before 7. Logistically impossible.

So I call everyone and apologize profusely, and am miserable and so angry at my husband.

Then at 5:30 he calls and tells me that he made a bunch of phone calls in the car on the way there, and was able to take care of the problem, so he's turning around and will be home in ten or fifteen minutes.

And he's mad at me for cancelling. He said he could make it back in time, (he couldn't - it would have been impossible) and I shouldn't have cancelled. And I should just call everyone back and say the plans are on again.

I think that's ridiculous - to call back a half hour later, when people may have already cancelled their sitters or made other plans. Aside from feeling stupid, it wouldn't be fair to everyone if only some of them could still make it.

So I'm mad at my husband, and depressed, and feel like my birthday is ruined. And he is mad at me, for overreacting.

I think he just didn't want me to go out by myself and leave him with the kids, so he passive-aggressively found a way to make me cancel my night.

 

[momof2inPA]

No. I would be livid.

 

[Blondie]

I'd be pretty upset myself.

 

[EthansMom]

Your DH didn't necessarily do this all on purpose.

But, you didn't overreact by getting upset.

I'd get banned on the DIS if I put into words how I'd feel in your shoes. Honestly, I'd be calling around to see if any friends are still available because I wouldn't want to be around DH after that!

(We've had a cruise scheduled for late March for a few months. DH just found out a couple weeks ago that his program at work has an important meeting the week we're going to be on vacation. More than once in the past couple of weeks, DH has said, "How hard would it be to cancel the cruise?" I told him he doesn't have to worry about canceling the cruise, because if he decided work was that important, the kids and I would go on the cruise without him! )

 

[nannerbadnanner]

No, I would be pretty ticked too. He could have even offered to take them with him.

Tomorrow is my birthday so I feel even more sympathetic. Please try to have a good birthday anyway...maybe you and your friends can reschedule.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

You probably should have invited your friends to your house to wait with you and then you all could have just winged it. But I do think you have every right to be mad. Do remember when you are that mad at someone, it hurts you more. Try and let it go. Also, get off the computer and go do something fun even if it's by yourself.

 

[BuckNaked]

No, I don't think you overreacted, and I'm sorry that this is how your birthday turned out.

 

[lulugirl]

No. I would be livid.

Me too and it takes a lot to tick me off.

 

[Virgo10]

No. I would be livid.

Ding! Ding! Ding!! We have a winner.

No, I don't think you're over reacting one bit. BTW, happy birthday. Do something good for yourself with or without friends.

 

[Serena]

Forget this, call your friends and find out who is still available. Get out and have some fun!

 

[daisyduck123]

No...I don't think you overreacted.

But, honestly, I would not have canceled to begin with....my DH would've piled the kids in his car & taken them back to work with him!!! Honestly.

Happy B-day though!!!

 

[buzzlady]

He would have been taking the kids with him!!!!

 

[BuckNaked]

In all fairness to the OP's husband, it isn't always possible to take children to the workplace.

 

[Hixski]

No. I would be livid.

I would be too. Especially if this wasn't the first time he has done something like this.

 

[Vivianne]

Well, from the years I've been married and lived for awhile (as a single person) with my married sister, I'd say,

Stay away from this, They're going to make-up.....

To the OP So, tell him how you feel and then ..... Will prevail...

Advice to your husband...Make it up to her, find a way..
Your life depends on it....

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i'd be just as angry as you are. and i agree, i think he was angry that you wanted to go out and have fun, so he did that on purpose.

i'm sorry

 

[ilovejack02]

Goodness no you didnt overreact UNLESS you called him every cuss word in the book when he hit the door and threw stuff at him that might be a tad over the top.
NOW with that being said, id be madder than a wet hen and then even more mad once he pulled the you are overeacting crap on me.
He would be begging for mercy by the time i was done with him lol.
( i laugh but its true )

 

[poohandwendy]

No...I don't think you overreacted.

But, honestly, I would not have canceled to begin with....my DH would've piled the kids in his car & taken them back to work with him!!! Honestly.

Happy B-day though!!!

Exactly (or he would have been on the phone finding an emergency babysitter). It would have been his problem at that point.

I agree with others, see if anyone is still available and go out!!!

Btw, Happy Birthday!

 

[va32h]

You probably should have invited your friends to your house to wait with you and then you all could have just winged it. But I do think you have every right to be mad. Do remember when you are that mad at someone, it hurts you more. Try and let it go. Also, get off the computer and go do something fun even if it's by yourself.

This is a good idea - I wish I had thought of that. I am going to run out to Target in about half an hour - which is a pretty pathetic way to spend your birthday but oh well.

Forget this, call your friends and find out who is still available

The only reason I don't want to do that is because I would feel crummy about the people who cancelled their sitters or made alternate plans.

Goodness no you didnt overreact UNLESS you called him every cuss word in the book when he hit the door and threw stuff at him that might be a tad over the top.

Haven't thrown anything, and haven't cussed at him because I'm not speaking to him at all! The last thing I said was "I hope you realize this wasn't just about me - a lot of my friends made arrangements to be free tonight, and I was embarrassed to have to call them at the last minute and cancel."

I don't know why I didn't tell him to take the kids with him - I think I was just too shocked to think of it!

I'll get over it - I'm sure it doesn't help that my period started today.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

This is a good idea - I wish I had thought of that. I am going to run out to Target in about half an hour - which is a pretty pathetic way to spend your birthday but oh well.




The only reason I don't want to do that is because I would feel crummy about the people who cancelled their sitters or made alternate plans.



Haven't thrown anything, and haven't cussed at him because I'm not speaking to him at all! The last thing I said was "I hope you realize this wasn't just about me - a lot of my friends made arrangements to be free tonight, and I was embarrassed to have to call them at the last minute and cancel."

I don't know why I didn't tell him to take the kids with him - I think I was just too shocked to think of it!

I'll get over it - I'm sure it doesn't help that my period started today.

my DH2B ruined my birthday a few years ago. he called up a bunch of HIS friends, and we all went to a bar that THEY wanted to go to. promised me that we would go to a club where my friends were waiting for me at, later. i waited and waited, people kept saying "Why aren't you drinking?" And i just kept saying "i'll drink when i get to the club" thinking they would get the hint, and they didn't.

finally i flipped out on him and his friends and said if we didn't leave RIGHT NOW i would leave on my own and go to the club. they agreed to go but
DH2B wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. he was angry at ME!

i didn't say anything that night, but BOY did i let him have it the next day! i've had good birthday's ever since(not including the times when i spent them with my family, that's another story)!