DH...the scrooge

[phillymummer]

Haha! My DH came in the door and asked what I was doing. I said 'reading, nothing you care about'. His response? 'Oh, Disney stuff'

Whenever my hubby sees me on The DIS he shakes his head and rolls his eyes and groans! He says he doesn't want to go back, so my next trip may be a mommy-daughter trip and I am 100% okay with that!!

 

[photo_chick]

When I was planning our first trip my DH kept asking why I'd want to take a vacation to see a tall rat. He didn't want to plan, he didn't want to hear about anything. He felt like we could do the same things just going to Six Flags at home. Then we went on the trip. He was the first one to start saying things like "on our next trip we need to make sure we....." Now he still doesn't care for the planning like I do, but he's not apathetic like he was before the first trip.

OP if I were in your shoes I'd just go on planning and take the trip. Have some patience and maybe he'll be the first one to suggest the next trip. You never know!

 

[CalSea12]

My dh is the type to say "do what you want and we will have fun", he does give me his opinions but he knows I'm gonna do what I want in the end. He isn't into the planning as much as I am, as long as he gets to eat at his fav restaurants (Ohana, Tokyo dining, and biergarten). I do think she gets tired of me talking disney all the time lol.

My mom is going this time and I think she just tries to appease me and listen to what I have to say, but she doesn't care as much as I do either.

What is it with my family trying to make sure I'm the happy one lol

 

[lodge]

Arrange a play date with him and other dads coming the same dates. What guy wouldn't want to go to a pub and down a few with some other dads?!?!

I, for one, would love to experience Disney with just a bunch of friends, rather than just with the kids.... have yet to do that.

 

[lmhall2000]

My DH: "So, ya got everything worked out for the trip?"

Me: "Yep."

That is as involved as he is! Has no preference where we stay, where we eat, where we go, has no clue what I spend, how hard I worked to save every stinkin' dollar, and what I am grateful for is that he WILL pack his own suitcase...little graces

We all have a blast, that's why I do it!

 

[JVig]

We are here now. My dh was totally uninvolved. But now that we are here, he's questioning all my plans and changing things. I'm doing my best to go with the flow and keep everyone happy. But it's annoying!!!!

 

[lodge]

My DH: "So, ya got everything worked out for the trip?" Me: "Yep." That is as involved as he is! Has no preference where we stay, where we eat, where we go, has no clue what I spend, how hard I worked to save every stinkin' dollar, and what I am grateful for is that he WILL pack his own suitcase...little graces. We all have a blast, that's why I do it!

Get out!!! Don't you have like a gazillion magnets on your cruise door? You do all that stuff yourself?!?!?

 

[MichelleVW]

My mom goes with me some times and she isn't into planning either. She just goes where I tell her to go and has a good time. She's going on a Disney cruise with me in October and the only planning she did was tell me what dates were good for her. I have Disney friends that I bounce my ideas off and also my oldest daughter (22) is good to talk plans with.

Oh...just remembered something my mom said after we booked the cruise. Mom, "I'm going on a cruise with Michelle in October"
My cousin, "oh really, where are you going?"
Mom, "I don't know...she asked me to go on a cruise and I said yes"


Some people aren't into planning and the general public also doesn't plan as much as the people on these boards.

 

[BuzzBelleMom]

Our first trip, in 2005, was done by me and a couple of less-than-stellar TA's (whom I need not describe here, luckily I found Disboards later) and DH could not understand why I was freaking out. He would not discuss strategies, refused to believe DD could wear princess dresses in the parks and was less than interested in the menus.

We had quite a few fights.

See, DH had been to WDW in 1986 with his dad and a tour group (he is not originally from here) and was basing all his knowledge on that. Like a teenage boy is going to remember little girls in frou-frou dresses in his rush to get to Space Mountain.

Well, a few days into the trip, he turned to me and said that we had already done more in those 3 hours than he had done in a day or two with his dad, and that I was right to do all that planning.

We are going for the fifth time. He is more helpful with planning (he says which restaurant he wants which day and helps pick the hotel), and for that I am grateful.

If, however, Star Wars Land should ever come to be, well I can tell you he will be 100% in charge of the planning and I will be just dragged along.

 

[juliebug1997]

To the OP, I do all the planning for our trips, my DW doesn't do anything. However, planning is much easier when its only one person doing it instead of two..... so it could be worse.

I am having a hard time aligning the fact that your DH is paying (in part or in full) for a Disney vacation and he is a scrooge.

Oh he is a scrooge. If it were up to him we would not do Christmas and birthday presents either. He even puts up a fight buying his own parents a gift at the holidays.

And not that this matters, but I am 100% paying for this vacation out of my own money that I have been saving for 4 years.

Thanks for all the replies, looks like I am not alone on this. I will keep planning everything until I can't plan anymore and he'll just have to live with the plans I come up with.

Part of me would classify my DH as a scrooge, though lovable, yes. I've paid for every bit of three of our four trips to the parks and one of the cruises. However, he paid for our honeymoon to NYC, most of the upcoming trip to WDW and last year's trip to DL. I still planned every single trip.

For our upcoming trip, I read menus out to DH and had him help pick some new restaurants. I think we'll be going to the Flying Fish and the Cali Grill, which we've been to before but we want to see the new version of the restaurant.

I think it's common that one spouse will allow the other to take on certain rolls that they don't want for themselves. I am perfectly happy washing and drying the clothes, but I hate doing the dishes. DH will do the dishes because he knows I hate doing them, but it means that I am more than willing to wash his holey socks and ratty t-shirts (and not throw them away when he's not looking).

 

[tiggerdad]

Reading this post is a shock. I usually plan everything on our Disney trips and my wife looks over it and usually says "sounds good to me". This is usually the case with most of our vacations, I'll spend weeks planning it out. I'm sorry hearing about some of the scrooges.

Sent from my Desire HD using DISBoards

 

[juliebug1997]

Reading this post is a shock. I usually plan everything on our Disney trips and my wife looks over it and usually says "sounds good to me". This is usually the case with most of our vacations, I'll spend weeks planning it out. I'm sorry hearing about some of the scrooges.

Sent from my Desire HD using DISBoards

Thankfully, I am a planner--I am a teacher and also sponsor the prom every year. I think sometimes, though, we planners would just like to have some input.

 

[agavegirl1]

I try very hard not to "bore" DBF with planning details. We went to WDW and UO/IOA in 2010 and are going again in 2014. I was telling him about Magic Bands and how hard it will be to plan rides in advance. He then said "Why can't we just wing it like last time?"

I nearly spewed my coffee. I just started The "winging it" involved weeks of planning for EMH, using rope-drop and fastpasses as well as a few ADRs I knew I needed to have. I read the Unofficial Guide to plan must-dos and okay to miss attractions. I used the "Lines" app while in the parks and had little cheat sheets for the touring plans.

How did he manage to forget the index card cheat sheets that came with us each day?

Just plan away. It will go well your DH will only "think" it is a spontaneous great time.

 

[tiggerdad]

Thankfully, I am a planner--I am a teacher and also sponsor the prom every year. I think sometimes, though, we planners would just like to have some input.

This is true, don't get me wrong my wife gives input, but usually more on the when we go, what park this day kind of decisions. I'm always open to suggestions, I think she just gets a little overwhelmed when there is so much to consider sometimes. Last time we brought the camper and stayed at Fort Wilderness. No dining plan, which meant no schedule. It was so much more relaxing and enjoyable for all of us.

Sent from my Desire HD using DISBoards

 

[bennifer]

My husband is very similar. The good news is that he does love it once we are there and is always willing to go back. He just can't deal with my (admittedly endless) chatter and list making and deciding what (not just where) we should eats months in advance.

He has been often enough that he appreciates my planning and will very occasionally ask to make sure we do something or other. And slightly more frequently that we skip parades and live stage shows involving singing (true grump - I swear I could hear his eyes rolling during Voyage of the Little Mermaid).

But he really doesn't participate in planning beyond an initial when, how long, and how much conversation. This is true for all vacations. If I really want his input on something, I email him overly dramatic PowerPoint presentations laying out the options because they make him laugh and usually result in an answer.

One final tip - if he really hates crowds, lines, and walking, you might want to at least discuss the virtues of rope drop. And if you haven't already, make sure you look at Josh's (EasyWDW.com) recommended parks and cheat sheets.

This is my DH and me! Yep, including the overly dramatic any type of presentations when I want him to participate! The man was less than thrilled the first year I drug him along with my then 13 yr old and my parents, but we have gone every year since!

 

[lugnut33]

My DW is like the OP's husband. After many many trips to WDW and Disneyland with her the number one piece of advice I can give you to make sure you don't go full on commando if he's not into that type of vacation. Don't feel bad if your husband doesn't want to get up early for rope drop. Let him get to the park when he wants to since he can just take a bus to get there. Make sure you have pool time and relaxation time built into your schedule.

I have a feeling your hubby would love being in the parks at night going to attractions with relatively short wait times and stopping regularly for snacks like Dole Whips and baked goods. I think he'll love being with his family for the firework shows.

 

[KatieCharlotte]

My DH also has zero interest in planning or talking about any of our vacations, even the ones that are more focused on things he enjoys. I know how frustrating it can be, not being able to share the responsibility of planning or the excitement. And then there are the last minute requests and criticisms when he finally starts paying attention.

I also totally understand being married to a scrooge. I've never set aside my own money for a trip, but he writes down every penny that we spend and reminds me to find ways to save money. Fortunately, I'm almost as cheap, so it works out okay.

I have found that pushing him to discuss the trip just annoys him. He will look at basic plans if I write them down and send an email, but he doesn't become actively involved in planning and does not want to have discussions about it. He does like me to explain what he needs to pack and whether there's anything he should buy. It sounds like it might work best with your DH to focus on that.

As for his feelings about crowds, walking, etc., my DH is usually much more tolerant of things that would normally annoy him when he knows a vacation is important to me, so hopefully you'll have the same experience, but I would make sure to give your DH the opportunity for plenty of down time, even if that means he stays at the resort for part of the day or you separate at the parks. (For example, my DH goes alone to the Hall of Presidents and the riverboat at MK and has left DHS at noon and picked us up in the evening.)

Accommodate him when you can, but also remember that you are not responsible for making sure he's prepared or making sure he has the best time ever. Try to focus on how much fun you and the kids are going to have and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

 

[Lumiere Lover]

My DH doesn't get involved in the process much at all. I try to get his opinion on the resort we stay at, but since we both love POFQ, I think we will almost always end up there. I try to force my DH to pick restaurants, and he ends up picking them by name, not my cuisine or location.

My DH knows that WDW is everything to me, and he will make sure he has a good time, so I have a good time.

Keep the parks to one a day, don't go park-hopping. That will help with his stamina. Take breaks in the afternoon. Definitely stay on site if you can, that helps a lot with getting around.

Best of luck, hopefully your vacation is magical.

 

[timandjanl]

You are not alone. When I was trying to convince my husband to buy DVC he actually banned me from saying the word Disney for a week. Lol.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I apologize is this isn't the correct place for this but I didn't know where else to put it.

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get there or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

I was your DH before my 1st WDW trip--the bolded part, at least.

When I learned that touring plans and ADRs could help minimize waiting in lines, I got very interested in planning. Now I'm the WDW nerd and the planner in our family. So getting a little buy-in from DH on the planning can reap some dividends if you explain how planning can reduce or eliminate some of the problems he anticipates.