DH so nervous. Any suggestions?

[Jennasis]

My Sister is getting married this summer and wants my DH to perform the ceremony. DH is actually an ordained minister....but (in the interest of saving time for you all) NOT what you might consider a "real" minister. Long story short, he did it online (Universal Life Church Monastery). Don't ask why...college kids do some silly things. BUT, now that we are older, we do actually do our own bible study at home together and are the most spiritually active people in the family. So when my sister got wind of DH's "ordained" status, she thought it would be great for him to perform the ceremony.

She hasn't technically asked him yet. That's coming next week when she and her fiance come to visit. But DH knows, and is super nervous about it. So does anybody have any suggestions for how he can do this with a straight face, and what kinds of things did you include in your vows/ceremony that he might borrow for this ceremony?

My sister and her fiance are not really religious or spiritual, but I don't think they would mind including some of the traditional stuff in there.

No fears of how legal the whole thing will be. They are actually going to go before a JoP to perform the REAL ceremony about a month after the party (another long story. DSis couldn't get the location she wanted on the DATE she "had" to have, so she is having a party and mini ceremony one day and the real marriage later).


God help me, my family is so weird.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Just to let you know my ds did the same thing in college! We always tell people he can perform a wedding in a pinch!

Let me know what you find out.

 

[krcit]

My brother got ordained on the internet to marry his niece and her fiance. He has since performed another wedding for the family. My brother is very funny so he used some humor but kept the seriousness of the occasion

 

[Robinrs]

Have him pray that the holy spirit will take over. Either that or have the info written on the palms of his hands!

I think it's COOL that he became an ordained minister!

 

[Jennasis]

I was hoping that he could print out one of those priest collars like Homer Simpson got when he got ordained online, but so far no luck on that one.


One of our friends actually used the marriage scene from The Princess Bride, so we can't even steal that! You know..."Mawwiage. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwaingment. That dweam wivin a dweam." (but without the speech impediment).

 

[Micca]

Is it a foregone conclusion that your DH absolutely must do the ceremony? Would he rather not do it, or he just has performance anxiety?

Can he do a Little Richard impression by any chance? Maybe he could do a musical ceremony?

 

[Jennasis]

Is it a foregone conclusion that your DH absolutely must do the ceremony? Would he rather not do it, or he just has performance anxiety?

Can he do a Little Richard impression by any chance? Maybe he could do a musical ceremony?

Pretty much. He could say NO, but he won't disappoint my sister. I like the Little Richard idea...

 

[bumbershoot]

We were married by a friend of ours who did ULC just so he could marry us. It was fabulous! We wrote the ceremony, and he read it. But he's an actor/performer, so he was not nervous at all.

Your husband shouldn't be writing anything for this, IMO. Your sister and her fiance should be taking care of that.

But I'm just confused why they need him to be ordained, if they'll already be married. Doesn't make a difference, since he's not doing anything legal for them.

But it's an honor, that's for sure! We chose our friend carefully, because he'd really seen us through some stuff and was friends with both of us...and he has a GREAT voice, LOL...he did a beautiful job. (with the words we wrote)

 

[Jennasis]

We were married by a friend of ours who did ULC just so he could marry us. It was fabulous! We wrote the ceremony, and he read it. But he's an actor/performer, so he was not nervous at all.

Your husband shouldn't be writing anything for this, IMO. Your sister and her fiance should be taking care of that.

But I'm just confused why they need him to be ordained, if they'll already be married. Doesn't make a difference, since he's not doing anything legal for them.

But it's an honor, that's for sure! We chose our friend carefully, because he'd really seen us through some stuff and was friends with both of us...and he has a GREAT voice, LOL...he did a beautiful job. (with the words we wrote)

They are getting the "real" marriage about a month AFTER DH will do the honors. You are right about one thing...I think I will remind him that he will be doing very little creative stuff and will be taking direction from the bride and groom. That should help settle him. I think maybe he's worried about coming up with stuff.

 

[crazyme5kids]

I was ordained in the 70's! I can't believe the Universal Life Church is still around. I wonder if I'm still considered a minister .......

 

[LukenDC]

My brother is an ordained minister via an Internet ministry. When he and his wife married, he had one of his friends---also ordained via an Internet-based ministry---marry him. At the conclusion of my brother's ceremony, his friend announced, "Under the power of the Internet, I pronounce you husband and wife." It was an eccentric ceremony.

 

[minkydog]

Jennasis, pardon me for asking, but was it your husband who was suffering from pretty serious depression and anxiety last month? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else. But if he *did* go through that he might not feel up to conducting a wedding just yet. Don't minimize his anxiety. I would hate to add to his already fragile state.(Of course, if I am totally off-base you can just ignore everything I wrote.)

 

[Becky2005]

You could always do what DH says would be the perfect marriage ceremony (I think from Spaceballs but I'm not sure).

"Do you?" "Do you?" "Let's eat"

As far as he's concerned, THAT would be the perfect ceremony.

 

[Jennasis]

Jennasis, pardon me for asking, but was it your husband who was suffering from pretty serious depression and anxiety last month? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else. But if he *did* go through that he might not feel up to conducting a wedding just yet. Don't minimize his anxiety. I would hate to add to his already fragile state.(Of course, if I am totally off-base you can just ignore everything I wrote.)

Mmmmm, no? DH has dealt with anxiety in the past (usually related to large life changing events for himself and seperation anxiety), but he has it very well under control and has for several years. Over Christmas he had a major blow out with his mother which I think empowered him quite a bit, but I did vent a lot about his depressed mom.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

I was ordained in the 70's! I can't believe the Universal Life Church is still around. I wonder if I'm still considered a minister .......

I know I did this years ago! I thought it was a hoot

 

[jlima]

Pretty much. He could say NO, but he won't disappoint my sister. I like the Little Richard idea...

Sacrilege!

He MUST do an Elvis wedding. Like this:

 

[Jennasis]

Sacrilege!

He MUST do an Elvis wedding. Like this:

Oooh...

 

[sbell111]

... No fears of how legal the whole thing will be. They are actually going to go before a JoP to perform the REAL ceremony about a month after the party (another long story. DSis couldn't get the location she wanted on the DATE she "had" to have, so she is having a party and mini ceremony one day and the real marriage later).

God help me, my family is so weird.

I don't understand why they are bothering with the JP. In North Carolina, any ordained minister of any faith who is authorized to perform marriages by his church may do so. He is ordained and the Universal Life Church Monastery has authorized him to perform marriages, so he's good to go. All he'll need to do is complete the marriage license and file it with to the register of deeds who issued it.

As far as guidance goes, the ULCM's website actually has some pretty good info.

 

[DSNY4ever]

Practice, practice! And make sure he remembers to instruct everyone to stand as the bride comes down the isle- and then to SIT BACK DOWN after.

I have nothing against doing a ceremony this way- it sounds nice to have someone special to them perform the ceremony...but we have been to 3 ceremonies performed by friends "certified via the internet" recently and they have all been AWFUL. They all seemed unorganized, nervous, unrehearsed and awkward.

Yes, at one the guy forgot to tell everyone to sit back down and so no one saw any of the ceremony (unless you were in the front row)....and he didn't speak loud enough and when they brought out the microphone it was all messed up. At one they had their two best friends perform the ceremony and they each told stupid stories about being BFF's in college- nothing about the couple or about love/marriage. It was weird.

Make sure he practices everything and I agree with having the Sister and her fiance write most of the ceremony/what the want done. Good luck!

 

[MainStMandy]

I don't understand why they are bothering with the JP. In North Carolina, any ordained minister of any faith who is authorized to perform marriages by his church may do so. He is ordained and the Universal Life Church Monastery has authorized him to perform marriages, so he's good to go. All he'll need to do is complete the marriage license and file it with to the register of deeds who issued it.

As far as guidance goes, the ULCM's website actually has some pretty good info.

I was kinda wondering this too! My brother is an ordained minister (no through ULC) and our marriage is 100% legal, lol. Good luck to him!! It meant a lot to us to have my brother perform our ceremony (and I wrote it, not him)