Dh and I are having some "issues" with upcoming baptism....

[Aristocath]

As a Catholic married to a Methodist, I have had many discussions regarding the Catholic church. I understand your problems with the Church and I think many, many Catholics here struggle with these difficult issues. Regarding whether or not to continue with the baptism, I would take into account that this is your second child. Since you did baptize your oldest child in the Catholic church, I would suggest you do the same for this child. But ultimately you need to remember this: only you and your husband can make this decision for your family.
Good luck with your decision and prayers are being said for you.

Cathy

 

[Towncrier]

My parents let me decide whether or not to be baptized rather than make that decision for me when I was an infant. Not a big deal unless you consider that my dad is a United Methodist minister. I was baptized the same week that I was confirmed as a member of the UM Church.

The church recognizes any baptism, it is not viewed as a baptism into a particular denomination.

This is true in the United Methodist Church, but my sister had to be re-baptized in order to become a member of the Episcopal church as they did not recognize her UM baptizm.

Both of our children baptized when they were infants. It's a personal decision that you and your DH need to make. I hope that the input that you are getting from the DIS is helping.

 

[always quiet]

Both DH and I were baptized and raised Catholic. All of my children have been baptized. My beliefs have not changed over the years but I have some serious issues with the 'politics' of the church. Let me explain....

We were living in a different state when my oldest was born. We didn't regularly attend church but still wanted him to be baptized. We contacted the parish I lived in as a child. They were happy to do it. When my oldest DD was born, again, we contacted this parish...no problems. When my youngest was born, again we called this parish. They said since we now lived in state, they would first have to call our parish priest. The priest in our new parish, and believe me, I am using this term very loosely proceeds to tell me that he REFUSES to baptize my baby. I have not contributed enough money to the collection plate (I am not kidding here!!! ) He also tells me that he "sees" that I have had my other children baptized in a different parish. He warned me not to even think of contacting them again ....he has already called them and told them NOT to baptize my daughter!! If she was going to be baptized HE was going to do it when HE felt we had given enough!!! I was FUMING and contacted the Victor (I think that is who is was!) and told them my story. I was so mad because if his issue was with me not giving enough, than that was between him and I...not an innocent baby. After some 'negotating', after a month of continuos contributions, my daughter could be baptized. This priest was so mad that I had gone above his head, he refused to do the ceremony. Instead, one of the other priests performed it. Don't know if this had anything to do with this whole mess, but my daughter was the ONLY baby being baptized that week!!

 

[Doug123]

I'm slightly amazed that Always Quiet paid off the priest/church in order to have their daughter baptized into an organization that supports this kind of activity. I'm not sure why posters to this thread have said they don't like significant aspects (my words) of the Catholic organization, and yet are encouraging the OP to make their child a member regardless and take it "day by day."

If the OP doesn't feel comfortable with the Catholic Church, then she should consider other options. Just because your parents signed you up, and you signed up one of your children, doesn't mean you're obligated to sign up another child. At least in my book.

 

[pw2pp]

Doug123:
Although she may feel uncomfortable, she has expressed that she is concerned if anything were to "happen to him". That would be a much harder burden to bear (if she believes that) than being "uncomfortable" with the church.

 

[antkim]

Thanks guys! I have to admit I was a little afraid to come and read the responses in case I got flamed! LOL
I was a bit vague in my post about my actual beliefs. Although I was raised in the church we were not "strict" catholics. We did go to church regularly, I attended CCD etc. but that's about at "deep" as we got. We really didn't discuss religion in our home like some do. I stopped going to church on a regular basis quite a few years ago-not sure why. I still have all the "beliefs" I was brought up with I just don't "believe" in the church itself anymore.That's why I was questioning my decision. I know we both want him baptised-that is not the question. I just wasn't sure if it was wrong for me to go ahead with it if we were having issues. My Dh has mentioned getting involved with a different organization before but we never explored it any further. I do know that my Dh STRONGLY disapproves of us EVER leaving our Ds's alone in the church whether it's a CCD class, a CYC gathering, retreat etc. Understandably so. He is NOT saying that all priests are bad he has just lost trust and would never be able to live with himself if anything ever happened to them. Of course anyone could do these horrific things to a child(teachers, coaches, next door neighbors......)
I think it is best for us to go ahead with the baptism but explore our options after.
Thanks for all your advice and support! I really appreciate it especially since it is such a "touchy" subject.
Kim

 

[septbride2002]

Wow Kim you sound like me.

I was brought up with I just don't "believe" in the church itself anymore

Being brought up Catholic the doctrine they believe in is so pounded into you that as an adult it is hard to pull away from those "beliefs" as you can see many people belong to faiths that don't baptise a person until they make the decision to do so.

There are several things that I know I'll never be able to stop doing as a person brought up Catholic. I still make the sign of the cross after a prayer, I believe in the holy trinity, and I believe in Jesus Christ.

I Hope you will be able to find an answer that helps you and your family to feel you have made the right decision. If you decide maybe to not do a baptism with a priest - according to Catholic law you can baptise the child yourself. DH and I have decided that we will not be raising our children Catholic.

~Amanda

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I'm glad you came to a decision you are happy with. I hope you are able to find a church. I always wonder when parents baptize their children but then don't find it necessary to set foot in any church after that (except for Christmas and Easter, perhaps). We had our children baptized as infants. I'm also a methodist married to a catholic--although he hasn't set foot into a catholic church except for funerals/weddings for many years, he goes to church with me but won't join. So I know how deep set the beliefs are. But I think raising kids in a church atmosphere can't hurt in these crazy times.
Robin M.

 

[janette]

My DH is Catholic but does not practice it, I'm not Catholic but our my girls were baptized in the Catholic church.

My MIL & FIL are very active Catholic and I felt that because of their beliefs about spiritual things if something should happen to an unbaptized child it was something we should do.

My views about it were much as Rajah stated. I went to the classes with my MIL (DH wouldnt' do that) and there really wasn't anything that stated you would raise the child Catholic. This might be different in other areas but everything was stated as the Church. I was raised to believe that people make up a church not a denomination. Using that viewpoint I wasn't uncomfortable with the process.

Also infant baptism although considered unnecessary by my religion there isn't anything wrong with it.

I've also heard some Parishs have stricter rules and don't allow baptism by non-parish members. We never had any problems but I'm sure that was mostly due to the fact that my in-laws are very active members of the parish.

My MIL has asked once about sending the girls to confirmation and I let her know we had no plans to do that. She hasnt' mentioned it again.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

How about this option...baptize your son yourself.

I've always believed that your relationship with your God is a very private thing. I never believed in going to church to prove your loyalty to God. To me, church is way too politcal. What you can do is just bless your child yourself if you feel that it's important. That way there's not a conflict between you or your husband and you have asked God to bless your child so he (and you) can be at ease. If you're still not happy with your Catholic faith later down the line, then chances are your son won't be either and he can choose to be baptized into another religion if that's what he wants.

 

[Kallison]

Baptizing simply means you are vowing to raise him in a religious manner -- in our church anyway (Lutheran). There are tons of disillusioned Catholics going to our church. My good friends and neighbors got their sons baptized in the Lutheran Church, he is even Council President. Her Mom made her have them re-baptized in the Catholic church because it didn't "count" . She did it to make her happy. So if you aren't happy with your religion, pick another church.

 

[KarenC]

I was raised Catholic...12 years of Catholic school, too. My DH was raised Southern Baptist. My church was so ugly to us when we got married because we did not have a Mass, just a marriage ceremony. I did not want to start my marriage taking communion when my DH could not. The priest thought it was because I wanted to get the church part over with and get on with the reception. Hello, it was my wedding, I could have been up there for hours and wouldn't care (can't speak for my guests, though )

Anyway, we had both kids baptized Catholic and I started taking them to church. I hated going alone. My DH and I started attending different churches. We ended up joining a United Church of Christ congregation. It's very ecumenical and full of Catholic/Baptist couples.

 

[shortbun]

Many have already said it. Take what you need and leave the
rest-regarding the Catholic Church. God hasn't left the church.
Be very sure of the priest you use for baptism and make decisions regarding your son's religious upbringing later. He's
just a little peanut now. We had our DS baptized and haven't
returned for official religion since. His Godfather and Godmother
get him books, have talks with him and so do I. He's about ready
for some formal education but I'm pretty weirded out by the whole thing and I'm not sure I want someone I barely know
informing my DS about the church. Good luck and trust your
heart.
mimi

 

[goodstarr]

Matthew 28:19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost . No where in THE WORD does it state that someone is being baptized into a specific denomination. I'm glad that you have made a decision. Don't stop praying though.

 

[antkim]

Thanks again guys for all your support. I'm glad I can come here for help.

Kim

 

[Val]

Part of being Catholic is cultural, like it or not. My DH and I were raised Catholic, attended Catholic schools, and have issues with the church (BIG argument just the other night with MIL over the church abuse issues!!!).....all four of our kids went to.are going to Catholic grade school (our oldest DD chose the public high school for music reasons, but is still active). Why? Because the PEOPLE are the church. Were there bad people- definitely yes. Are there still bad bishops/clergy- definitely yes. But leaving the church will not make it better. Working to make it better might make a difference. We had to recognize that our cultural and religious fit WAS with the church. To walk away was to deny us our faith and to hurt us- and that would just be wrong. We are active in our parish today- not in total agreement and sometimes we are really p***** off at the church- both locally and on a grander scheme. But- it is our church, our heritage and we refuse to walk away because of the sins of a few.

In general, our philosophy works. There are days when we have to bite our tongues, days we argue or feel sad. But it is the days when church members deliver food when we are sick, our children celebrate milestones with their church community, and when we come together in prayer that I know we have made the right decision. I am not a great Catholic, and sometimes a very angry one, but in my heart I am Catholic and I will work to ensure the continuity of my faith.

Okay, off my soapbox......I promise to give up soap boxes for Lent!

 

[mrsstats]

I am Lutheran. When they baptize in our church, the Pastor says she is not making little lutheran's but making Christian's. I would look at it that way and baptize where you feel comfortable. Good luck.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am glad you decided to go through with the baptism.

I did wait to have my kids baptized in the Catholic church. They were 8 & 3. We had also gotten "married" that day as well since we were married at the Justice of the Peace & it was not recognized in the church.

The conclusion I came to was that problems exist all over the place. Would I prefer the "American Catholic Church"??
Until then I am going to hang in there and hope that things improve.

 

[HappyMommy2]

You have gotten some very good and thought-provoking responses! I have enjoyed reading this thread.

DH and I faced a similar issue. There was some family pressure involved as some of our relatives are Catholic and some are not. DH and I were baptized as babies, DH in a Catholic church and myself elsewhere. When our first child was born we decided to take our own in-depth look into the Bible to see what it actually said about Baptism. It was eye-opening to us; we discovered that a lot of the things we believed about Baptism seemed to be more cultural or traditional than actual Biblical truth--not that these were bad things, we just needed to see them in the proper light. In the end we decided to have our babies "dedicated" (meaning we pledged to raise them in a Christian home) in our non-denominational Protestant church rather than "Baptized" (which, Biblically, seems to be something people decide for themselves to have done when they're older and make the decision to follow the faith). We didn't find anything in the Bible to indicate that children who pass away unbaptized will not go to Heaven--that was a relief to us, though I know some of our relatives are worried about our kids. Of course this is all just DH & my opinion; we're not theologians or anything but these are the conclusions we've come to privately.

I just want to encourage you to continue to think this through and to make the decisions that seem best to you and DH. Obviously you have your family's best interests at heart and that's the most important thing!

 

[Tulirose]

Have not read thru entire thread.

Catholic Church is going through ALOT (to put it mildly) of turmoil right now.

My Personal Opinion: If you believe at Eucharist, you are truly receiving the REAL Body and Blood of Christ, then baptize your child in the Catholic Church. If not, choose another Christian Religion.

Your personal FAITH is what this comes down to.