Destination Wedding ??

[Gigi22]

Need to work on a budget for this. Just been asked to save a date for a warm weather winter (as we are in the north, this = destination) wedding for DNiece. Second wedding for bride, first for groom who I gather suggested the destination event. I am seriously out of touch when it comes to weddings. What expenses can I look forward to incurring for this event? I was quite generous to DNiece for her first wedding, do I look to equal the gift for her second wedding?

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

I don't know what's customary, but if it were my wedding, I would not expect ANY gift from my guests. Spending possibly thousands of dollars to COME TO my wedding is a gift in itself.

I believe some couples pay for the expenses and some don't. I'd expect for you to pay for your hotel and flight. Your niece may have a hotel already in mind and may get a group discount. The same goes for the flights if you are all mostly traveling from the same area.

Be upfront with your niece and ask her these questions so that you can budget for the trip.

 

[Kristi391]

I went to a wedding in Bled,Slovenia this past June for my cousin and I wasn't sure about giving a gift. I polled people before I left and it was split pretty evenly with people saying paying a bunch of money to fly to Europe for the wedding should count as the gift and others saying bring a gift (including the guy at customs). At the wedding, we had a card ready with $$, but there was no typical place to put cards or other gifts, so we took that to mean that gifts were not expected. (We mailed it to them later anyways though).

 

[LadyD]

Our wedding was a destination wedding for about half of our guests (my family is on the west coast and my wife's family lives on the east coast). Our guests we're responsible for their travel arrangements, lodging, and all non-wedding meals. Since none of our traveling guests flew in or out around the same time, we opted to not host a welcome dinner or farewell brunch, but some destination couples will do this. Also to make it easier on our traveling guests, I set up a website with local hotel information at differing price points to help my guests find somewhere to stay. Hopefully your niece will do that, or communicate information about the wedding activities (and any other events for the wedding). While we did not expect gifts from any of our guests, we particularly did not want our guests traveling across the country to get us a gift since they were making such a financial effort to come to our wedding to begin with.

 

[leebee]

A lot of the time, weddings are "destinations" just because the bride lives on one coast and the groom on the other; somebody's family has to do some traveling. Then there are the weddings where the couple is getting married someplace neither of them live, so everyone is traveling to someplace fun for a wedding. Then there are the all-inclusive resort weddings, and these can run into mega-bucks for the guests (and the couple). I've read threads here where guests are expected to stay onsite at the all-inclusive (sometimes so the wedding couple can get discounted services) and spend the whole week vacationing together, or if they don't stay onsite the guests are charged $100 each to come into the resort for the wedding, stuff like that. I'd have a heart-to-heart with your niece to find out all the details before making the commitment to attend.

 

[jerseygal]

Our wedding was a destination wedding for about half of our guests (my family is on the west coast and my wife's family lives on the east coast). Our guests we're responsible for their travel arrangements, lodging, and all non-wedding meals. Since none of our traveling guests flew in or out around the same time, we opted to not host a welcome dinner or farewell brunch, but some destination couples will do this. Also to make it easier on our traveling guests, I set up a website with local hotel information at differing price points to help my guests find somewhere to stay. Hopefully your niece will do that, or communicate information about the wedding activities (and any other events for the wedding). While we did not expect gifts from any of our guests, we particularly did not want our guests traveling across the country to get us a gift since they were making such a financial effort to come to our wedding to begin with.

With destination weddings, I like the idea of saying something on the invitations similar to "Your presence and commitment traveling to our wedding" is our gift. We are requesting no gifts please."

 

[MagnoliaBend12]

I've been to 2 destination weddings in the last 2 years and my good friend has been 1. Guests paid for all travel expenses. It was our choice to attend. We were happy to be invited to such a special celebration and get a mini vacation in too. The hosts provided us with welcome goodies, rehearsal dinner, and wedding reception.

 

[afan]

I see a destination wedding as everyone attending and participating in the wedding traveling to somewhere for it. It's not a destination if I have to fly across the country because that's where my family lives or where one of the people grew up and had lots of family there, then it's just a wedding. Any wedding I think a gift is appropriate unless they ask not get any. How much is spent will be determined by my relationship to them and if there's a travel expense more than gas and a night at a hotel.

If it's destination for everyone, I would mail anything you plan on giving, unless it's just a card, to their home, either so they receive it prior to when they leave for the wedding or once they are back from their honeymoon. No one wants to travel with gifts, and especially if it's a wedding out of the country I wouldn't want to give them cash or check in case it gets lost, or has to be declared. It could be problematic if everyone decided to give them cash and they ended up with more than you are supposed to bring in or out of wherever.

 

[FreeDiningFanatic]

The bride will surely share all of this information, but right now, she is just asking ALL of her potential guests to pencil in a spot on the calendar, i.e. SAVE THE DATE. Once she provides more information on destination and cost, you can decide if you'll attend.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I got married at WDW in 2001. Save the date notices are just standard procedure. Since more notice and planning goes into travel for destination wedding. We had three different hotels at different price points picked out for guests at a discounted rate. They were responsible for hotel and air expenses. I did have a welcome gift to each guest in their room upon their arrival. Had several "get togethers" planned, including rehearsal dinner at Polynesian (luau), bridal shower, dinner at the Yacht club and, of course, wedding reception and dessert party at Epcot. I also provided all transportation on the wedding day. For the most part, guests stayed 2-3 days. I had one guest who had to arrive the night before the wedding and leave the day after. I did not expect any gifts (including monetary) because I felt they were putting out the money to be there. However, I did receive some.