Depressed......long and frank ( a "me" UPDATE on pg 5 )

[TINKTWINS]

 

[mrsv98]

Kristy,

No one can imagine what it feels like and no one should tell you you should "get over" Gabrielle. A counselor would probably help a great deal.

Also, just a couple of medical notes. Since Olivia is only a few months old, have you had your thyroid checked since her birth? It is very, very common for new moms to have extremely low levels. Too little thyroid can lead to depression and fatigue. Also, you are most likely greatly sleep deprived. Is there any way you can get on a more "normal" schedule? What ablut something that alternates so you know you can get some sleep sometime.

The first step is to go to your doc and tell her/him everything and be very honest. Here is a for you. Please let us know how you are doing.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Kristy, as a nurse in a nursing home, do you have access to counselors there, or possibley with the hospital that might be associated with the home? Some wonderful advice here, Kristy, from many who have walked the same path. I think talking first with your regular or most often used doctor, then talking with a counselor sure might help. Remember, as you said, the folks here truly care, we do.

Dan

 

[janette]

Many hugs Kristy, I don't have any advice but know the best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of yourself. Start with your Dr and find out what you need to do for you.

 

[Alice28]

We're here for ya----vent away! And please talk to a counselor, someone at your church, and/or your doctor soon...there is a way to get past the way you are feeling and feel functional again.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Hugs for you, Kristy! I agree with those who say check with your doctor. Let him/her know how you're feeling. And ask for a referral to a counselor. It wasn't until about a year after my husband died that I went for grief counseling. Some days I walked out of that office feeling worse than I went in, but in the long run, I was much better for going through it all with someone. The gaping hole in the heart doesn't go away completely, but in time it will diminish.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

People will help you...if you let them.

 

[poohandwendy]

Absolutely great posts here so far!

Kristy, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I totally agree that you need to talk to your doctor about this. YES, you should just come right out and say, "I am depressed, I am drowning here and it is not going away, I NEED help"

I long for the day that there isn't such a stigma to admitting that you are hanging on by a thread and need help. If this has been going on for a long time, it is unlikely it will resolve itself. PLEASE....please, please, please...talk to your doctor. Do it for the kids...do it or yourself. You will someday soon be posting how glad you are that you did something about it. Bigtime hugs for you, your DH and kids.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

take care,
wendy

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

I can add nothing to all the other great advice here.

Just a *hug* or two I guess and to say I'm sorry that you're hurting.

Oh, maybe one thing...when a loved one of mine was needing to go in, she wanted/needed someone go to with her, to sort of hold her hand she was feeling so weak and vulnerable with her depression. When she lined up her hand-holder it seemed easier for her to make the decision finally to go in for help.

 

[pw2pp]

Hugs to you Kristy
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Don't be afraid to go to your Doctor and tell him this.
You probably feel like you have to be in control all the time, being the caregiver that you are (Mother, Nurse, etc....), but it is okay to "let go" (become vulnerable) and let others help you.
Talk to your Doctor, your Priest, your husband, your Mother (she may have gone through this at some time in her life too).
You have made the first step by telling us..... I'm sure this was not easy. We are here for you and so are others.

If you ever want to PM me, feel free...... I have had these same feelings as you.

 

[Robinrs]

Kristi,

Oh, honey, I feel your pain.

I'm not a fan of anti depressants, so many doctors tried to put me on them when I lost my son then when I lost my parents. I made the decision to try it without medication.

Your anxiety is so justified. Realize that. You lost a child, a life, a dream. You expected, as most mothers do, that the pain would just go away after you had another child. It does not. And you wonder why.

Money problems and sleep deprivation can cause frustration without the added stigma of mourning. Kristi, you need to give yourself time to heal.

I agree with finding a professional to talk to. Try to find one that specializing in post natal trauma. Take the time to realize your pain and work your way through. It will not go away overnight.

And realize that you will NEVER forget what happened to your baby. Expecting to can make you think something's wrong with you.

Take care of yourself. I know how hard it is. I have been a grief counselor for 18 years. Please let me know if I can help you.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Lori

 

[jacksonsmom]

everyone has given great advice, not much more I can add, I just wanted to give you a big hug because everyone needs a hug from time to time!

 

[goofy4tink]

A lot of really good advice here Kristy. My brother is presently suffering and dealing with severe depression. He is in therapy and is trying different drug combo's. Finally seems to be working!! My mom also suffered with this. It can be overcome. Talk all you want. See your doctor, get checked out. Start a plan. It all begins with that first step. Take it!! There is no shame. As C.Ann says...only shame in not taking it!! Hang in there. There is a great support system right here. Vent all you want. God knows, we all need to vent at some point or another!!! Peace.

 

[JKanownik]

I have suffered from extreme anxiety and panic attacks for many years and I finally found the courage to talk to my my doctor about it in Nov. He prescribed Buspar for me. I was very apprehensive about taking it. I saw myself as weak and thought I should have been able to deal with it on my own. Well, DH told me something that really opened my eyes. He explained that humans have not had enough time to evolve to be able to deal with the pressure of life today. The faster the world becomes the more stressful life is and many of us do not have the proper mechanisms to deal with it. I have also come to realize that I am not the only person in the world going through this. There are millions of people suffering from anxiety and depression. I started taking the medication last month and it has helped me a great deal.

I agree that there is some great advice on this thread. I hope that things work out for you. In the meantime, just remember you have a great support system right here.

Sending some pixie dust and hugs your way.

 

[mommystieg]

Lots of great advice here so I have nothing to add -- I will keep you and your family in our prayers.

 

[Microcell]

This may have been stated here but I want to stress- getting Medication right away is probably your best bet. You may not have to be on them for long. Medication usually takes the edge off and helps allow you to see your way clearer to working out your problems. Then once you have the ability to see your problems from a more objective standpoint (beta blockers block the firing of those signals that tell you that you are drowning- my favorite example is with me and my xanax- just ask Delswife she seems to like the Xanax too for flying and I have literally sat on the plane thinking "well, if it crashes, that is okay, I won't panic, I have my Xanax" my brain was literally stopped in its anxiety tracks). If I flew very often I would try systematic desensitization to learn to cope without meds, but I only fly every two years or so, you have to live every day! Meds combined with therapy of somesort will help you feel better and you may be surprised to find out it helps your marriage! To make you feel better 90% of Depression is the type you get over in time. The other 10% is chemical or associated with mental illness. As for suicide, your little girl wants to meet you in heaven, during the natural course of time. I am fifteen years without my mom and miss her terribly too and though it is not the same as a child, the pain is very real and I plan to see her again when god wants me to. There is hope and you will feel better!

 

[Celluloidgal]

Originally posted by mommystieg
Lots of great advice here so I have nothing to add -- I will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Ditto.

 

[jkovick]

You are in my thoughts & prayers.

 

[scarlett873]

it sounds as if you've received some terrific advice already...i have nothing to add except that i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...