Democrats Agenda

[Sir Real]

Now that the election is behind us, and the Democrats control both houses of Congress, there's no reason not to admit it: the Right was right about us all along. Here is our 25-point manifesto for the new Congress:

1. Mandatory homosexuality

2. Drug-filled condoms in schools

3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act

4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses

5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State

6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein

7. English language banned from all Federal buildings

8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups

9. All taxes to be tripled

10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated

11. On-demand welfare

12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish

13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems

14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning

15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8

16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor

17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery

18. God to be mocked roundly

19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN

20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement

21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy

22. Texas returned to Mexico

23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day

24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore

25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the brave"

 

[Bob Slydell]

Thanks, that was useful.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

 

[Robinrs]

Just when I thought I read the stupidest things I've ever read... the DIS surpasses it again.

Never fails...

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[hydster]

Oh good lord!

 

[Judge Smails]

Outstanding!

Funniest post I've read in weeks.

"Celebrate Our Monkey Ancestors Day"???!!!!!

 

[Chattyaholic]

 

[Phrebert]

Has anybody have any concern how Rush Limbaugh feels now.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

nice ,very nice

next time, could you at least aim at being funny (hint: satire requires WIT)???

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Sounds like something off a David Letterman Top 10 List.

 

[MzDiz]

That was seriously funny. It sounds like things my father would say, only, he's dead serious.

 

[auntpolly]

Be afraid! Be very afraid! Something wicked this way comes!

 

[eclectics]

How about putting all the Trolls on a diet? They seem fat enough to me.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

Very funny!

 

[twoprincesses]

Love it...

 

[tekmom]

You forgot about a huge terrorist attack just like on September 11, 2001 when the Democrats controlled both houses, then. Oh, wait, the Democrats didn't control both houses and there was no pesky Democratic president EITHER??? How could that be? I keep hearing how, with Dem control, we're going to get attacked. I have to stop drinking.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

It's Friday. Get in a good mood. A similar list about Republicans would be just as funny. It's obviously an exaggeration to the extreme, so lighten up folks. You guys better grow thicker skins cause this is what it's all about when you're the party in power.

 

[Mugg Mann]

It's Friday. Get in a good mood. A similar list about Republicans would be just as funny. It's obviously an exaggeration to the extreme, so lighten up folks. You guys better grow thicker skins cause this is what it's all about when you're the party in power.

Absolutely right, although it would be nice if people waited until the Democrats actually screwed something up.....

 

[wvrevy]

Um...folks, this was a JOKE. The OP was saying that WE should just go ahead and admit that everything the lunatic right says about us is true, now that we've won back the legislature.

Seriously...I'm about as Liberal as it gets around here, and I thought this was hilarious. Like the Judge, I particularly liked "Celebrate our monkey ancestors day"

 

[auntpolly]

so lighten up folks. You guys better grow thicker skins cause this is what it's all about when you're the party in power.

Oh, I just assumed the OP was a joke. Good one, too!