Debt Dumpers 2022

[ctinct]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

So very sorry. Be gentle with yourself.

 

[piccolopat]

Tygerlilly, so sorry for your loss. Take time, even just a few minutes each day, to try and calm your mind so you are better able to face the difficult days ahead.

 

[pblack]

Omg I'm so sorry for your loss @Tygerlilly. Sending a massive hug your way. I think I speak for all of us when I say we're here if you need to talk, vent, or just get your thoughts out.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Thanks everyone. Overall, I think I'm handling things okay. I obviously didn't expect it, but I'd been mentally preparing for a couple months now because he has been in the hospital multiple times with heart problems.

We are meeting with the financial guy this week and I have a phone appointment with a lawyer Monday to discuss power of attorney and other things that need to happen should my mom not be able to make decisions in the future. I also want to make sure she is taken care of financially since she hasn't worked in many years for disability.
From brief discussions with my dad over the last couple months, he was being incredibly smart with his money and she will have zero problems living a comfortable life.

Now, I have an idea in my head that would greatly benefit both my mother and my family, but I need to bounce it off someone who isn't directly related to the situation. Dad's life insurance pay out (I'm not even including 401k and investment payouts) will be enough to pay their house and vehicles off completely. My mom isn't in the capacity to handle the maintenance of that large of a home on her own and has always said she didn't like it. My idea (for a few months down the line) is to help her find a smaller home or apartment and then us "rent to own" the home from her for whatever her apartment rent will be. That way she still doesn't have a financial burden for home costs and we can get out of our very overpriced rental we don't fit in. She's even considered moving back to PA where her family is, but said we are what was holding her back here. Funny, we stayed here instead of relocating because the kids and I were all the family my dad had left and I felt bad taking it away from him. We are not opposed to moving to within a couple hours of home, since it's close to both families.

 

[DL1WDW2]

You should discuss this with your financial planner to avoid incurring problems with IRS or Banks.. Etc.
Does anybody else have “ financial “ interest to know about?
Be very careful and do not speak to anybody that calls with Claim . When my husband passed away, I emmediately started getting phone calls from official sounding business that would not tell me who they were legally or financially representing.
Fortunately, I put phone down to take a breath & realized I was not telling any stranger anything.

 

[jen7233]

Tygerlilly sorry for your loss

 

[barkley]

Now, I have an idea in my head that would greatly benefit both my mother and my family, but I need to bounce it off someone who isn't directly related to the situation. Dad's life insurance pay out (I'm not even including 401k and investment payouts) will be enough to pay their house and vehicles off completely. My mom isn't in the capacity to handle the maintenance of that large of a home on her own and has always said she didn't like it. My idea (for a few months down the line) is to help her find a smaller home or apartment and then us "rent to own" the home from her for whatever her apartment rent will be. That way she still doesn't have a financial burden for home costs and we can get out of our very overpriced rental we don't fit in.

You should discuss this with your financial planner to avoid incurring problems with IRS or Banks.. Etc.
Does anybody else have “ financial “ interest to know about?

in addition to the financial planner a discussion with an elder law attorney and a cpa is advisable before making any decisions of this magnitude. financial advisors are helpful when it comes to crunching numbers and such but they are not skilled in property laws as they pertain to medicaid and the structuring of future estate planning. hopefully your mom is in spectacular health but in the case that something comes up even 5 years down the line that necessitates her needing to utilize medicaid to supplement medicare and/or other insurance her owning but not residing in a home could create ineligibility (and there's a 5 year 'look back' at this point, who knows how much longer that period could be extended in the future w/the current federal budget concerns). a cpa may need to come into the picture b/c i don't know what the tax laws are like where your mom lives/where she would consider moving to but if one state has state income tax while the other doesn't that could make a tremendous difference to her income, cpa could also look at the implications of losing a mortgage interest deduction (if applicable) and the tax implications of (a) receiving rental income/(b) renting for under what i assume would be the fair market value. future estate planning issue is (as you will learn dealing with your dad's stuff no matter how well he had it set up) difficult so you don't want to do anything now that will make it harder when your mom's time ultimately comes.

honestly, for right now you need to focus on the 'now'. take care of yourself and your mom with the emotional impact of your loss.

take care.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

At least, it has been true in my case, I have gone through phases in life when once I said never-ever about something, then years later mindset changed on something.

This is my second van, and I really am at a place in life I could care less on stigma, I'm driving it. My first van I had I traded in after a year because it was something I felt I needed to do at the time to get out of it, as a physical change after coming through a fog of post-partum and general depression. I bought it when I just left my career and was about 7 months pregnant at the time. When I traded that van in, I traded it for the SUV and kept that until it basically cost as much to fix it than its value, and that was my GMC. Only regret I have on this particular van is I bought now is the entertainment package with the built-in video, totally useless and could have saved some money that way, my kids never use it after the initial interest they had in it blew over.

It's nice to have the video system on road trips. Our kids were 7 and 10 the first time we went to Williamsburg, VA which is a 6-7 hour drive each way. Ds7 wanted to watch every episode of School House Rock so at least I could sing along with some of it.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

I am so sorry for your loss. Just take one day at a time.

 

[piglet1979]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Eureka]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

Oh I am so sorry to see this.

 

[Carol_]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take things slowly and give yourself some time to feel all the feelings. Lean on your friends and family and us.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Thank you again everyone. It's been a week for sure.
My mom hasn't been in the most competent mental state in a long time. She often goes days without answering my phone calls or text messages before finally calling me back. She never answered the calls from the funeral home so they could get the info to start on the death certificate and work on arrangements to move the body across state lines. I ended up just calling them myself and the lady will now be dealing with myself if she needs something. I was able to do the same with the investment broker. She has a phone appointment with the HR department from dads work at 10am tomorrow. I just really hope she answers the dang phone. Making sure she deals with these calls is causing me the most stress.

I have everything packed for all 5 of us. We're leaving Saturday and stopping at DH family for a couple days before heading to Pittsburgh for the funeral and trying to salvage the fun early Christmas trip we originally planned.

-------

In budget news, I scored the Budget Mom's budget by paycheck and live rich planner for $44 total on black Friday sale. I was able to do the PayPal pay in 4 on it, so it'll be about $11 per paycheck over the next couple months. I'm starting to overhaul my budget and finances starting in January. I'm actually going to open an account with the guy my dad was using. He was managing it really well and if I start next year and am smart with adding to it, I'm positive it will grow and do well over the next several years. My dad passing has really opened my eyes to getting finances in order, as well as other legal things.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Thank you again everyone. It's been a week for sure.
My mom hasn't been in the most competent mental state in a long time. She often goes days without answering my phone calls or text messages before finally calling me back. She never answered the calls from the funeral home so they could get the info to start on the death certificate and work on arrangements to move the body across state lines. I ended up just calling them myself and the lady will now be dealing with myself if she needs something. I was able to do the same with the investment broker. She has a phone appointment with the HR department from dads work at 10am tomorrow. I just really hope she answers the dang phone. Making sure she deals with these calls is causing me the most stress.

I have everything packed for all 5 of us. We're leaving Saturday and stopping at DH family for a couple days before heading to Pittsburgh for the funeral and trying to salvage the fun early Christmas trip we originally planned.

-------

In budget news, I scored the Budget Mom's budget by paycheck and live rich planner for $44 total on black Friday sale. I was able to do the PayPal pay in 4 on it, so it'll be about $11 per paycheck over the next couple months. I'm starting to overhaul my budget and finances starting in January. I'm actually going to open an account with the guy my dad was using. He was managing it really well and if I start next year and am smart with adding to it, I'm positive it will grow and do well over the next several years. My dad passing has really opened my eyes to getting finances in order, as well as other legal things.

 

[pblack]

End of November update:

Not my normal update since i've accomplished the goals that I can finish before the end of the year. Right now i'm just focusing on staying afloat with the holiday season and all the expected and unexpected expenses that come with it. We did buy a new dishwasher right before Thanksgiving. I'd been wanting a new one for quite some time and we got what I wanted on sale for $750. We put this on my DH's best buy card and have 24 months 0% interest. If I actually take the full 24 months to pay it off its ~$35/mo. I don't think i'll take the full 24 months, but I like having the flexibility of a small payment if needed.

Our November 3-day cruise was really fun. I'd never done a 3-day cruise so it was definitely a different clientele than i'm used too, but I really enjoyed it. When we got home I managed to catch a cold, not covid, so that was fun. Thanksgiving went as well as expected. It was a long day of cooking for very little recognition and no one helped me clean up. That was not expected since my DH's family usually helps, so I don't know what happened this time around. Bought a couple black Friday things for the family we adopted at work and for us. My biggest purchase was a 22inch Blackstone griddle because it was half off at Walmart and I really want to go camping next year. We currently have no camping gear, so trying to find deals when I can.

I think that's about it for me. Still have some gifts I need to purchase. I'm not sure where we're having Christmas at this year (I can tell you i'm not hosting after Thanksgiving/last Christmas). Like I said above, basically just trying to stay afloat.

 

[disney-inspired]

Can't believe tomorrow is December - where did the time go?

Student debt relief in question - never really believed it would happen anyway - and the zero interest extended until June 2023, I will be focusing on paying off my federal loans from here on out. Hoping to make a dent in that 15k before repayment happens or if by surprise, they can pull off the relief program.

I think I'm going over budget for Christmas this year, just feeling a tad spend happy for my nieces' gifts. I do have some CC debt but should have it all squared away before end of year.

Expecting a meeting in the next two weeks with my supervisor to find out my annual increase and bonus amounts. I have a DC trip planned for March so will likely allocate the bonus for that trip.

I have a WDW trip scheduled in January which is fully funded in my vacation SF accoun.

 

[crazycatstacy]

End of November update:

Not my normal update since i've accomplished the goals that I can finish before the end of the year. Right now i'm just focusing on staying afloat with the holiday season and all the expected and unexpected expenses that come with it. We did buy a new dishwasher right before Thanksgiving. I'd been wanting a new one for quite some time and we got what I wanted on sale for $750. We put this on my DH's best buy card and have 24 months 0% interest. If I actually take the full 24 months to pay it off its ~$35/mo. I don't think i'll take the full 24 months, but I like having the flexibility of a small payment if needed.

Our November 3-day cruise was really fun. I'd never done a 3-day cruise so it was definitely a different clientele than i'm used too, but I really enjoyed it. When we got home I managed to catch a cold, not covid, so that was fun. Thanksgiving went as well as expected. It was a long day of cooking for very little recognition and no one helped me clean up. That was not expected since my DH's family usually helps, so I don't know what happened this time around. Bought a couple black Friday things for the family we adopted at work and for us. My biggest purchase was a 22inch Blackstone griddle because it was half off at Walmart and I really want to go camping next year. We currently have no camping gear, so trying to find deals when I can.

I think that's about it for me. Still have some gifts I need to purchase. I'm not sure where we're having Christmas at this year (I can tell you i'm not hosting after Thanksgiving/last Christmas). Like I said above, basically just trying to stay afloat.

We have the 22-inch electric Blackstone as our HOA does not allow gas grills on the balconies and we LOVE it. I use it so much and it is so user-friendly. I am sure the gas/propane version is just as wonderful!

Made it back from visiting our daughter on budget. I am so happy we managed to do it. We always have good intentions of staying on the budget but we like to shop and we also enjoy doing extra things for our daughter and son-in-law when we see them.

Most of my Christmas shopping is done. Just have my husband and our 12-year-old nephew left. I have stuff in my Amazon cart for my nephew, I am just waiting to send it until closer to the holiday.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Checking in.
Dh had a crazy amount of OT on this week’s pay. I felt so bad for him. He will be 65 in a few months and has something like 35 hrs of OT this pay. I tell him to slow down but he says he will never turn it down because you can’t always get it when you want it. The extra money always helps though.

We reached the goal of saving $30k for a truck for him. He isn’t ready to buy so we’ll just hold that until he finds something.
I went over budget for Christmas by $900 but that is mostly because I spent a lot on dh, which I don’t usually do.

My savings goals for 2023 is to save $10k for a Panama Canal cruise and $20k to remodel our bathroom. After that, our snowball will go to extra emergency funds and increasing my retirement contributions.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I don't even know anything right now. My dad had a massive heart attack yesterday and didn't make it. I'm still trying to process everything. But what I have learned over the last 24 hours, is to make sure you're stuff is in some kind of order. Financial wishes, wills, etc. There's so much my mom and I need to deal with, but thankfully their Financial advisor is dealing with the money part.
I've also been busy purging today. Mainly to stay busy and keep my mind occupied, but also because I know I'm going to have to go deal with my parents house and their 2 storage units full of stuff. There's no way my mom can deal with it mentally or physically.

Our fun Christmas trip that was going to happen in 2 weeks will now be a funeral trip home. I'm hoping the stars align and the dates work with what was already planned.

This holiday season just got a lot more complicated.

I haven't checked in in several weeks and just saw this. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my dad suddenly last year in a car accident, so I definitely understand what you're going through right now. Grief carries its own timeline, and you can't rush it and what you're feeling. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this right around the holidays too. I lost my dad two weeks before Father's Day and really felt that sting. Be kind to yourself. If you ever want to chat or shout into the void, feel free to send me a private message. I'd be happy to listen.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this right around the holidays too. I lost my dad two weeks before Father's Day and really felt that sting.

I know what you mean. My mom died the day before Mother's Day. I had ordered one of those carved fruit bouquets to be delivered and had to call them up sobbing to cancel it. I could hardly speak to say the words. I considered just letting it arrive but thought it might make my dad feel worse. I can't believe it's been 3.5 years since I talked to my mom. I miss her terribly. It's brutal heartache that I think never goes away.
Back when my kids were little, my mom told me that she still cried every year around Christmas that she misses her parents, who died when I was 6 and 9. So 30 years later, the pain was still there.