Debt Dumpers 2022

[disney212]

A big thank you to all who have shared! I'm a lurker and have followed the thread all year, already reading the 2023 thread. I handle the finances in our family which is fine as I work in finance (DH is aware as I give him quarterly briefings much to his dismay). I'm very good with stretching money and we live a comfortable for us life. Due to the pandemic DH has had a couple of layoffs over the last few years but each has led him to a better paying job after a few nerve inducing weeks. I've adjusted our budget each time (I tend to plan for the worst) and found it comforting to see everyone working toward their goals as we work towards ours! This thread is very inspiring to this budgeting nut!

 

[Tygerlilly]

Our sweet little boy broke daddy's glasses last night. I swear when it rains... luckily I had been bulking our hsa account and we hadn't used any of our vision benefits this year. It was one of those things that we kept mentioning needed done, but for some reason we never did. We were able to get him into a place this morning and got him a new exam, a cheap pair of "back up glasses" he's currently wearing, and a nice pair with all the upgrades (anti scratch, no line bifocals, non glare, etc) ordered that will take approximately 3 weeks to come in. Self pay would have been over $900. We paid $172. Thank you insurance and hsa account for nothing hitting my already thin checking account.

 

[pblack]

Merry Christmas eve eve friends! No matter what holiday you celebrate, I hope it's filled with love, laughter, friends, and family! I'm officially off for the next 2 weeks and so looking forward to it.

 

[Carol_]

If it makes you feel any better, my mom became a grandmother at 41.5 years old, and from her own biological son!
So when she was 55, my current age, her oldest grandchild was 13. I can't even imagine my own kids being parents.

I meant to also say congratulations!! Having a new addition to the family is a beautiful gift.

I have a friend who became a grandpa at 31. His son became a father at 16, one year older than he had been when he became a father. Now his new kid and his grandson play together.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and Happy Holidays to anyone who doesn't. Excited to get thru tomorrow and then get ready to kill 2023 budget wise.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

our issues involved needing to have certified copies, seems like every entity wanted one with the raised seal-pension plans, banks, dmv (mil didn't list a transfer on death on her title-that was a royal pain to deal with what with that state's waiting period and active insurance requirements).

i don't envy you dealing with this. just take it day by day. keep in mind response times will likely be slower due to short staffing plus people taking holiday time off. breathe in and out, in and out.

When my mom died, the funeral home handled that. Even though my dad called 911, it was the funeral home who picked her up from my parents' house. We went to the funeral home the next day to make arrangements and he asked how many certified copies we'd like. He suggested a minimum of 10. Everyone you deal with wants their own certified copy. I think we got 15 just in case. It only took about a week or so but this was pre-covid.
For dmv, my dad just had to take her will and death cert.

Despite crying constantly for months afterward, he was pretty on top of things in the early days after her death. He knew what needed to be done and just got it done. Over time, it went all downhill from there.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Please extend your mom some grace. My father passed July 2022 and wasn't married. My brother and I are dealing with his estate. The first month after his death we were both in a fog. We did good to go and check on the house once a week. I know you're trying to get everything done but she might just be trying to get through the day. Believe me when I say, all the financial stuff can wait until she's ready to breathe again. And you will need to take her hand and help her do most things. That's what my husband had to do with me. Most days I didn't want to deal with it because it made it seem more real that my dad was gone. It took me a couple of months to process it and I'm still processing it. I believe it took about 6 weeks for us to get the death certificates. We're just taking our time and doing one thing at a time. Some times that's getting 3 things done in a week and sometimes getting one thing done in 3 weeks. We're taking it one day at a time.

This is excellent advice. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!

 

[DisneyHardin]

When my mom died, the funeral home handled that. Even though my dad called 911, it was the funeral home who picked her up from my parents' house. We went to the funeral home the next day to make arrangements and he asked how many certified copies we'd like. He suggested a minimum of 10. Everyone you deal with wants their own certified copy. I think we got 15 just in case. It only took about a week or so but this was pre-covid.
For dmv, my dad just had to take her will and death cert.

Despite crying constantly for months afterward, he was pretty on top of things in the early days after her death. He knew what needed to be done and just got it done. Over time, it went all downhill from there.

When my Grandma died, that's what happened too. I lived closest to the funeral home, so when the death certificates came in, I had to go to the Funeral Home to pick them up.

 

[Carol_]

Merry Christmas !

 

[DisneyMandC]

When my mom died, the funeral home handled that. Even though my dad called 911, it was the funeral home who picked her up from my parents' house. We went to the funeral home the next day to make arrangements and he asked how many certified copies we'd like. He suggested a minimum of 10. Everyone you deal with wants their own certified copy. I think we got 15 just in case. It only took about a week or so but this was pre-covid.
For dmv, my dad just had to take her will and death cert.

Despite crying constantly for months afterward, he was pretty on top of things in the early days after her death. He knew what needed to be done and just got it done. Over time, it went all downhill from there.

I thought the funeral home would handle this as well when my dad died, but they didn't. I suspect it was because they were mad at how little we spent with them, but dad was explicit that he wanted to be cremated and then for us to throw a party- absolutely no service or visitation. So I paid for him to be cremated and that was it. When I emailed to ask about getting a death certificate, they told me, rather tersely, to go to the health department. Fortunately I work right down the block from the health dept, so one call to them and they had the cert ready for me in a few hours.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I thought the funeral home would handle this as well when my dad died, but they didn't. I suspect it was because they were mad at how little we spent with them, but dad was explicit that he wanted to be cremated and then for us to throw a party- absolutely no service or visitation. So I paid for him to be cremated and that was it. When I emailed to ask about getting a death certificate, they told me, rather tersely, to go to the health department. Fortunately I work right down the block from the health dept, so one call to them and they had the cert ready for me in a few hours.

Wow. That's terrible. I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. Neither of my in laws wanted a funeral. Almost everyone they ever knew was already gone and those who were still alive came to visit my MIL in person within a few weeks of her death, knowing she was in hospice.
The funeral home still made all the arrangements and handled it, for which dh’s family paid for those services, but they were never made to feel bad for not adding another $8-10k for a service. I was present only at the arrangements for my FIL, who died 3years after my MIL. I’m very sensitive about things like that and didnt detect anything curt or snarky.

Anyway, I dont think people dealing with the death of a loved one need any added guilt on top of a broken heart. That’s horrible.
In all honesty, I don’t actually know if my dad and FIL picked up the DCs or they were sent to the funeral home. I only know the funeral home handled the application for the DC.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Wow. That's terrible. I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. Neither of my in laws wanted a funeral. Almost everyone they ever knew was already gone and those who were still alive came to visit my MIL in person within a few weeks of her death, knowing she was in hospice.
The funeral home still made all the arrangements and handled it, for which dh’s family paid for those services, but they were never made to feel bad for not adding another $8-10k for a service. I was present only at the arrangements for my FIL, who died 3years after my MIL. I’m very sensitive about things like that and didnt detect anything curt or snarky.

Anyway, I dont think people dealing with the death of a loved one need any added guilt on top of a broken heart. That’s horrible.
In all honesty, I don’t actually know if my dad and FIL picked up the DCs or they were sent to the funeral home. I only know the funeral home handled the application for the DC.

Thank you, I really appreciate the kind words I would have fired back a snarky email to them about it, but it's the only funeral home in the very small town where my grandma also lives, so I know that eventually I'll have to use their services again (hopefully not for a very long time).

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I'm heading out to do a little post-Christmas clearance shopping. I want some real organizing bins for our ornaments instead of the random mish-mash of 10 boxes we currently have them shoved in, so I'm hoping to find those.

I'm planning to head over to the 2023 later this evening to post my goals!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I was hoping to get some shopping done today but one thing always leads to another. What started as just ordering new bedroom furniture has snowballed.
Out of 4 scheduled days off over the holidays, the furniture store couldn't deliver on any of those days. So we moved it to MLK day. Now after noticing the room hasn't been painted in over 10 years and the carpeting is 20+ years old, we might as well replace all of that. When we first bought our house, the same week we had ds26, we said that someday, we'll get rid of the 2 separate closet doors that both swing out and install 2 sliding doors. Dh always leaves his closet door open, and then closes the bedroom door. Then when I unknowingly open the door, it bangs into his closet door. Over and over. So annoying. So if we're gonna tear up carpets and paint, might as well put in the sliding doors.
We ordered new carpeting last week and it is scheduled for delivery a few days before the furniture arrives. I know carpeting isn't the "in" thing, but I stll like it.

So, this morning dh put all of his stuff into ds22's room. Good thing he is never home. I just finished putting all of my stuff in the dining room. Holy cow, for being small closets that are not walk-in style, they sure hold a lot stuff with all the built-in shelves dh had added. Whew. I guess it's good to sort through all that stuff and get rid of old junk. I still had the little purse I used the day of my sister's wedding which was before 9/11. I had an old Pokemon Game Boy Advance game still in wrapper hidden in an old mini diaper bag. Of course lots of glow sticks put away too. I think I still have the clothes I wore to ds22's christening. oh my.

Our trash cans are at the curb but once I finish my breakfast, I'm hoping to get some of this stuff in the bin before they pick up.

I need to make returns at 3 different stores today plus I have a dentist appointment later so my day off relaxing and shopping is now anything but relaxing, but it is very productive! I can't stand clutter so it will feel good when it's all done.

I had $6k set aside for our October cruise, but that has been diverted to the bedroom project and now I'm starting over for the cruise fund.

 

[fofinia]

Thanks Ruadisneyfan2!
I read your last post about organizing. And I jumped up off the computer and filled 3 bags with clothing to donate in less than 10 mins. Just sitting there waiting for me to do. Thanks for the motivation.

 

[barkley]

I was hoping to get some shopping done today but one thing always leads to another. What started as just ordering new bedroom furniture has snowballed.
Out of 4 scheduled days off over the holidays, the furniture store couldn't deliver on any of those days. So we moved it to MLK day. Now after noticing the room hasn't been painted in over 10 years and the carpeting is 20+ years old, we might as well replace all of that. When we first bought our house, the same week we had ds26, we said that someday, we'll get rid of the 2 separate closet doors that both swing out and install 2 sliding doors. Dh always leaves his closet door open, and then closes the bedroom door. Then when I unknowingly open the door, it bangs into his closet door. Over and over. So annoying. So if we're gonna tear up carpets and paint, might as well put in the sliding doors.
We ordered new carpeting last week and it is scheduled for delivery a few days before the furniture arrives. I know carpeting isn't the "in" thing, but I stll like it.

So, this morning dh put all of his stuff into ds22's room. Good thing he is never home. I just finished putting all of my stuff in the dining room. Holy cow, for being small closets that are not walk-in style, they sure hold a lot stuff with all the built-in shelves dh had added. Whew. I guess it's good to sort through all that stuff and get rid of old junk. I still had the little purse I used the day of my sister's wedding which was before 9/11. I had an old Pokemon Game Boy Advance game still in wrapper hidden in an old mini diaper bag. Of course lots of glow sticks put away too. I think I still have the clothes I wore to ds22's christening. oh my.

Our trash cans are at the curb but once I finish my breakfast, I'm hoping to get some of this stuff in the bin before they pick up.

I need to make returns at 3 different stores today plus I have a dentist appointment later so my day off relaxing and shopping is now anything but relaxing, but it is very productive! I can't stand clutter so it will feel good when it's all done.

I had $6k set aside for our October cruise, but that has been diverted to the bedroom project and now I'm starting over for the cruise fund.

same thing happened this year when we were looking doing some work in both bathrooms-'well, if we are going to do this-we might as well get that done....' stuff snowballs. i get you on the closet cleaning-when we bought our place years ago i wanted to redo the meager shelving and hanging bars at some point so last year we splurged and had california closets come and do a whole system. between the extra space it created and all the stuff i purged out it was amazing (purged allot out of the bathroom cabinets as well when we replaced the counter tops-amazing what accumulates over the years).

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Thanks Ruadisneyfan2!
I read your last post about organizing. And I jumped up off the computer and filled 3 bags with clothing to donate in less than 10 mins. Just sitting there waiting for me to do. Thanks for the motivation.

The funny thing is we DO regularly donate gently used items to Purple Heart. They make it so easy; I just put it on our front porch by 7am.

This stuff is sooo old, I dont even think the homeless could use it. The elastic makes a crackley sound when you stretch out the waist, and it doesnt snap back. Purse and shoes had become so discolored, you’d never know it was silver at one point. Just gross.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

same thing happened this year when we were looking doing some work in both bathrooms-'well, if we are going to do this-we might as well get that done....' stuff snowballs. i get you on the closet cleaning-when we bought our place years ago i wanted to redo the meager shelving and hanging bars at some point so last year we splurged and had california closets come and do a whole system. between the extra space it created and all the stuff i purged out it was amazing (purged allot out of the bathroom cabinets as well when we replaced the counter tops-amazing what accumulates over the years).

It’s amazing how much wasted space is in a standard closet. Dh installed kind of a poor man’s version of Cali closets years ago. Upper and lower racks attach to a vertical divider, then maybe 6 shelves that are about 18” x 18” along the other side of the divider. It’s great for folded sweaters, sweat pants, my luggage scale and 20 year old Nintendo games.

 

[barkley]

This stuff is sooo old, I dont even think the homeless could use it. The elastic makes a crackley sound when you stretch out the waist, and it doesnt snap back

when we traveled more pajama bottoms and lounging pants that had those issues were what i packed to take along. i wore them on vacation and then tossed them out so i had more room in my suitcase for whatever souvenirs i had purchased.

20 year old Nintendo games

those can go for big bucks-it would be interesting for you to do a search online and see what the going price for one is.

 

[afan]

when we traveled more pajama bottoms and lounging pants that had those issues were what i packed to take along. i wore them on vacation and then tossed them out so i had more room in my suitcase for whatever souvenirs i had purchased.

I'm already trying to figure out what stuff, like pjs, I want to take on my trip to Japan and not bring back so I have more room.