Debt Dumpers - 2016

[crazycatstacy]

Today I paid off one credit card and half of another. Still have a LONG way to go but feeling like there is some actual progress being made

 

[Gena001]

This one was my fault. When I first planned this trip (and the one in May) he asked if he could go. I told him that he was welcome to go on any vacation as long as he paid his share of the related expenses. He is not adept at managing funds, so I wasn't really worried about it. He's still not really managing his funds, but thinks that he has found a way to pay for his part.



Thanks. Hugs. I just need to work on my assertiveness, I guess.

Dayvewc, I recall last summer you needed someone to accompany you because of your back issues. Is all that past you now? I think you have a right to go on your own and relax, do what YOU want and not have to listen to their arguments.

You DO have a right to change your mind and go by yourself!

 

[dayvewc]

Dayvewc, I recall last summer you needed someone to accompany you because of your back issues. Is all that past you now? I think you have a right to go on your own and relax, do what YOU want and not have to listen to their arguments.

You DO have a right to change your mind and go by yourself!

It is mostly behind me now (pun intended, lol). I'm still having ongoing chronic pain, but nothing like what it was last year. It's kind of a funny conundrum. I had asked the roommate if I could use his minivan for the week so I could drive the ECV up ramps instead of having to lift it into my car. One of his statements earlier was "If I don't get to go, my van doesn't go either". So, the method that would be easiest on my back would be to have the van, but honestly I'd rather deal with the lifting of the scooter over putting up with attitude for the week. I offered to let him use some of my timeshare points and exchange for a week into Branson, which would be cheaper on him than buying food, gas, and tickets in Orlando. He came back with "well, the gas shouldn't matter cause you are having to pay that anyway, and you already have the resort paid for, and I should be able to buy my tickets, so I'll only need you to buy my food". And he didn't understand why that assumption irritated me.

And I do have a right to change my mind, but the consequence is having to deal with the drama of someone who doesn't like to be told "no". I swear, his mom should have spanked him either a lot harder or more frequently as a child.

 

[Dentam]

Wow. You are dealing with a master manipulator and moocher, @dayvewc! Didn't you help him get the mini van? I could not handle someone like that. Grr...

 

[dayvewc]

Wow. You are dealing with a master manipulator and moocher, @dayvewc! Didn't you help him get the mini van? I could not handle someone like that. Grr...

yeah, i know. I'm normally a bit better judge of character, but sometimes, I just fail. This was one of those times.

 

[Dentam]

yeah, i know. I'm normally a bit better judge of character, but sometimes, I just fail. This was one of those times.

Don't feel bad. I have been there too with a former friend. It sounds like you are a very kind and giving person and unfortunately some people like to take advantage of that.

 

[mrsabbott]

Well, after binge listening to Dave Ramsey on youtube, I realized that I need to get caught up on my late credit card payments before paying them off. So, I am attempting to do that over the next couple of months. Seems an impossible task.

It is so frustrating! The hours I work would be perfect for me to get a 2nd part time job in the evenings. The problem? My kids. They are 11, 9, 7, and 4. Certainly not old enough to stay alone. Hubs works late every day. Childcare for the four of them would cost me my paycheck (I spend half my paycheck for just my son now and I'm actually getting a good deal!) I looked into 3rd shift positions, but the only ones close by are factory work and, I will be honest here, the idea of me doing factory work and surviving on no sleep isn't as feasible to me now as it was when I was in my 20's. Not to mention that I hope to start back to school this summer.. Sigh..

We have already cut expenses and I pinch pennies as much as I can. I am just anxious to pay things off as quickly as I can. Our finances have caused a strain on our marriage. I mean, we aren't fighting all the time or anything.. but the stress and frustration is there. Hubs and I did get into a small tiff because he wants us to get cable again and I don't want to. He also wants to buy these expensive vitamins and stuff and we can't afford it right now. I'm not buying the supplements I used to use right now either. He is not a fan of being told no. He goes along with it (although he is insistent about the whole cable thing because he wants to watch racing) but I think he resents me for it. The thing is.. the debt isn't just mine. It is his as well.

Sorry.. this is turning into a pity party/vent.. Just needed to get it out!

 

[hmwinter85]

Well I feel like a huge dummy this morning. My bonus check was deposited on Saturday. In my excitement I did think wow they didn't take as much out in taxes as I thought and then happily went about setting up transfers to a couple of saving accounts and a small chuck going to one of my cc. It wasn't until this morning when I went to confirm our budget for the first half of march that I realized my normal pay was part of that deposit too. So now I have to wait 3 days for the transfers to savings to clear just so I can pull some of it back out to cover our normal expenses. In the long run we should be fine, might just have to wait a few extra months to replace our roof, but boy did I feel stupid when I realized it this morning. At least I didn't use it all to pay off the credit cards like I had originally planned and I should be grateful for having to replace the roof this spring.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Alright, Murphy... time to go home now.

Woke up this morning to the sound of dripping water. I think one of the lines in our heat pump must be clogged and is dripping water internally? I don't know. I could see water in the line and it looked like it was clogged, but I couldn't get it cleared. Fortunately, we got a home warranty when we purchased our house so I was able to call that and get it set up to have the technician call me and we only have to pay the $75 service fee! So that's a big help. But of course, the only time they could come was between 10 and 2, and I was already on the way to work (25 miles away) when they called me to set up the appointment. So basically I drove to work, am packing up my work, and going back home to work there. Fortunately I have the ability to work from home, but just frustrating. Especially since I already have to take some time off Friday to go to an interview. I may hate my job, but I do not like being the type of person constantly asking for time off regardless!

 

[Marlyn]

Well, after binge listening to Dave Ramsey on youtube, I realized that I need to get caught up on my late credit card payments before paying them off. So, I am attempting to do that over the next couple of months. Seems an impossible task.

It is so frustrating! The hours I work would be perfect for me to get a 2nd part time job in the evenings. The problem? My kids. They are 11, 9, 7, and 4. Certainly not old enough to stay alone. Hubs works late every day. Childcare for the four of them would cost me my paycheck (I spend half my paycheck for just my son now and I'm actually getting a good deal!) I looked into 3rd shift positions, but the only ones close by are factory work and, I will be honest here, the idea of me doing factory work and surviving on no sleep isn't as feasible to me now as it was when I was in my 20's. Not to mention that I hope to start back to school this summer.. Sigh..

We have already cut expenses and I pinch pennies as much as I can. I am just anxious to pay things off as quickly as I can. Our finances have caused a strain on our marriage. I mean, we aren't fighting all the time or anything.. but the stress and frustration is there. Hubs and I did get into a small tiff because he wants us to get cable again and I don't want to. He also wants to buy these expensive vitamins and stuff and we can't afford it right now. I'm not buying the supplements I used to use right now either. He is not a fan of being told no. He goes along with it (although he is insistent about the whole cable thing because he wants to watch racing) but I think he resents me for it. The thing is.. the debt isn't just mine. It is his as well.

Sorry.. this is turning into a pity party/vent.. Just needed to get it out!

It sounds like you will end up taking on way too much if you try to take on extra work right now. You have a busy life with 4 children and with your husband working late, someone needs to be home for the kids in the evening. Maybe there's something you could do from home on spare time? Maybe selling something? Avon or similar?

As for your husband, I'm in a similar situation. I feel like I'm taking on the brunt of paying down bills, looking for ways to save, putting anything I can on bills etc....and he still has frivolous spending. It's very frustrating and can cause arguments. I just keep plugging away and he is slowly (very slowly) coming around by seeing what I'm doing. We have had many arguments though, and that makes it hard on the relationship.

Hang in there! Venting is why this thread is here....we are all in the same boat!

 

[gracie1]

This one was my fault. When I first planned this trip (and the one in May) he asked if he could go. I told him that he was welcome to go on any vacation as long as he paid his share of the related expenses. He is not adept at managing funds, so I wasn't really worried about it. He's still not really managing his funds, but thinks that he has found a way to pay for his part.



Thanks. Hugs. I just need to work on my assertiveness, I guess.

Is this the same roommate who has trouble paying their rent? Is he up to date on all rent and roommate responsibility?

 

[gracie1]

Alright, Murphy... time to go home now.

Woke up this morning to the sound of dripping water. I think one of the lines in our heat pump must be clogged and is dripping water internally? I don't know. I could see water in the line and it looked like it was clogged, but I couldn't get it cleared. Fortunately, we got a home warranty when we purchased our house so I was able to call that and get it set up to have the technician call me and we only have to pay the $75 service fee! So that's a big help. But of course, the only time they could come was between 10 and 2, and I was already on the way to work (25 miles away) when they called me to set up the appointment. So basically I drove to work, am packing up my work, and going back home to work there. Fortunately I have the ability to work from home, but just frustrating. Especially since I already have to take some time off Friday to go to an interview. I may hate my job, but I do not like being the type of person constantly asking for time off regardless!

We're they able to fix it? Hopefully there's no extra expense to you! Seems like Murphy has been hitting all of us pretty good on this thread!

 

[gracie1]

Today I paid off one credit card and half of another. Still have a LONG way to go but feeling like there is some actual progress being made

That is fantastic!! It's always a real motivator when you see that first balance paid off! Great job!

 

[momtosam]

I'm feeling really down today. DH being laid off is taking its toll, and it's not just the money. It's been a complete life disruption. I feel like I can't sneeze without him being on top of me. He has been doing household chores for me, which I know is good, but of course being a type A it's not the way I would do it. There is certainly nothing for us to look forward to - won't be traveling to family for Easter, I'll be working this summer instead of going on a vacation. I found out today at the dermatologist that I have a skin rash that is inflamed from stress - no kidding! All I really want to do is sleep -- and eat. Why can't I be one of those depressed people who STOP eating? Man, I'd be so skinny!!

 

[Dentam]

I'm feeling really down today. DH being laid off is taking its toll, and it's not just the money. It's been a complete life disruption. I feel like I can't sneeze without him being on top of me. He has been doing household chores for me, which I know is good, but of course being a type A it's not the way I would do it. There is certainly nothing for us to look forward to - won't be traveling to family for Easter, I'll be working this summer instead of going on a vacation. I found out today at the dermatologist that I have a skin rash that is inflamed from stress - no kidding! All I really want to do is sleep -- and eat. Why can't I be one of those depressed people who STOP eating? Man, I'd be so skinny!!

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. That is great that your husband is helping out with household chores! It is hard being a type A and wanting things done a certain way, but at least he is trying which is wonderful. I hope he can find another job soon and that things start to look up for you!

 

[dayvewc]

Is this the same roommate who has trouble paying their rent? Is he up to date on all rent and roommate responsibility?

Yes he is. He is current for the month, but still owes from back months when his checks were messed up.

 

[LinderInWonderland]

I'm feeling really down today. DH being laid off is taking its toll, and it's not just the money. It's been a complete life disruption. I feel like I can't sneeze without him being on top of me. He has been doing household chores for me, which I know is good, but of course being a type A it's not the way I would do it. There is certainly nothing for us to look forward to - won't be traveling to family for Easter, I'll be working this summer instead of going on a vacation. I found out today at the dermatologist that I have a skin rash that is inflamed from stress - no kidding! All I really want to do is sleep -- and eat. Why can't I be one of those depressed people who STOP eating? Man, I'd be so skinny!!

I hear you. Shortly after our first wedding anniversary, DH was laid off. He drove me nuts wanting to talk about everything with me as soon as I got home from work. Like your husband, mine did all the chores and cooking. Then I was laid off a few months later and we took turns being employed/unemployed for the next year. We joke that we had so much togetherness during that time period and didn't kill each other, so we can survive anything now.

I know it's rough. I hope it gets better for you soon, but in the meantime I hope you can ask him for a little space. I had to do the same with my husband. I won't say his feelings weren't hurt a bit, but we were both a lot happier when I was able to decompress for a bit before he started the flood of words.

 

[DisneyMandC]

We're they able to fix it? Hopefully there's no extra expense to you! Seems like Murphy has been hitting all of us pretty good on this thread!

Yes, fortunately! Just something clogged so no big deal, and he said our unit looks really good. So that's a relief!

I'm feeling really down today. DH being laid off is taking its toll, and it's not just the money. It's been a complete life disruption. I feel like I can't sneeze without him being on top of me. He has been doing household chores for me, which I know is good, but of course being a type A it's not the way I would do it. There is certainly nothing for us to look forward to - won't be traveling to family for Easter, I'll be working this summer instead of going on a vacation. I found out today at the dermatologist that I have a skin rash that is inflamed from stress - no kidding! All I really want to do is sleep -- and eat. Why can't I be one of those depressed people who STOP eating? Man, I'd be so skinny!!

So sorry That's a tough situation. Hoping things get better for you soon, I'm sure it will improve!

 

[Angeejoe]

I'm feeling really down today. DH being laid off is taking its toll, and it's not just the money. It's been a complete life disruption. I feel like I can't sneeze without him being on top of me. He has been doing household chores for me, which I know is good, but of course being a type A it's not the way I would do it. There is certainly nothing for us to look forward to - won't be traveling to family for Easter, I'll be working this summer instead of going on a vacation. I found out today at the dermatologist that I have a skin rash that is inflamed from stress - no kidding! All I really want to do is sleep -- and eat. Why can't I be one of those depressed people who STOP eating? Man, I'd be so skinny!!

It's hard to deal with such a big change, Sending u ! Are there any free new experience you can do together outside of the home? Museums, parks, classes at the library?

 

[gracie1]

Yes he is. He is current for the month, but still owes from back months when his checks were messed up.

I would tell him once he paid for the back rent he owes then he could go with me. If he has money for vacation then he has money to pay for back rent