Debt Dumpers - 2016

[MrsTurnerLovesDisney]

Virtual money is definitely my downfall so I want to use actual envelopes but pulling the top 3 is a good idea. I figure my biggest budgets are food, gas and eating out. We really need to curb the eating out and I'm hoping this will help.
I also need to figure out how to divide groceries and household when I buy at one store, or if I should lump it into one. Household being laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc. Thankfully Target receipts do that for me already, not sure if Stop and Shop does.[/QUOTE]

I lump household and grocery into 1 budget for us. Basically what I do is I figure groceries for us run around $120-$130 every 2 weeks (just 2 of us and that's pretty much 3 meals a day) and then I add another $20-$30 for household items and that includes things like toothpaste, deodorant, etc. And I try to use that $20-$30 to stock up on sale items. Like a few weeks ago my local store had a good sale on paper towels and toilet paper I bought about 3 months worth for $30. This week toothpaste, shampoo and dish soap we like are on sale. I will stock up on those for about $20.
I need to start doing the cash option though instead of a card because when Walgreens runs a great sale on stuff like detergent I find myself in there also buying popcorn, greeting cards, and novelty crap and using the card! GOTTA STOP THAT!

 

[TheGryphonsDen]

@MrsTurnerLovesDisney - I have the same problem, but I can't blame the card. I just have no willpower and need to stick with a list,lol. I have a list now but I find things that we use on sale and think, "Well it is cheaper and we use it all the time." DH does the same thing and sometimes we both pick up the same items if we don't shop together.

I'm home with DD today (she has a cold of some sort and kind of makes me think of that crazy purple minion) so I looked around the house and it is really amazing at the amount of crap that we have bought that we really don't need or is just way overstocked. I looked in our pantry and the amount of shampoos, shower stuff, cleaning supplies is a bit much. We talked about cleaning out the kids rooms over March break and reorganizing, but I think it's time for me to purge some of this stuff and start using what we have instead of buying...

 

[MrsTurnerLovesDisney]

@MrsTurnerLovesDisney - I have the same problem, but I can't blame the card. I just have no willpower and need to stick with a list,lol. I have a list now but I find things that we use on sale and think, "Well it is cheaper and we use it all the time." DH does the same thing and sometimes we both pick up the same items if we don't shop together.

I'm home with DD today (she has a cold of some sort and kind of makes me think of that crazy purple minion) so I looked around the house and it is really amazing at the amount of crap that we have bought that we really don't need or is just way overstocked. I looked in our pantry and the amount of shampoos, shower stuff, cleaning supplies is a bit much. We talked about cleaning out the kids rooms over March break and reorganizing, but I think it's time for me to purge some of this stuff and start using what we have instead of buying...

YES I'm in the same boat with you on the willpower.
We just recently cleaned out a back bedroom and sold stuff and are up $90 this week for our vacation fund from junk we don't need/use anymore.
Also there is a great thread on the Budget Board about Cleaning out the Pantry and cooking just from stuff in the pantry I did that for about 6 weeks and it helped a lot.

 

[Gr8t Fan]

We did this a few months ago and have finally gotten through all of the half-used shampoo and conditioner bottles that we'd accumulated. Of course, that didn't stop me from buying them when they're on sale because we go through so much (family of 6, 3 girls and me, all with long hair), but it was good to get through all of the bottles and not waste them like we would have done in the past.

 

[Ava]

Virtual money is definitely my downfall so I want to use actual envelopes but pulling the top 3 is a good idea. I figure my biggest budgets are food, gas and eating out. We really need to curb the eating out and I'm hoping this will help. I also need to figure out how to divide groceries and household when I buy at one store, or if I should lump it into one. Household being laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc. Thankfully Target receipts do that for me already, not sure if Stop and Shop does.

When I first started budgeting last year I tried dividing grocery and household into separate categories, but it got too confusing. Now I just divide my weekly spending money into "essentials" and "fun money" - "essentials" being all groceries, household goods, pet supplies, etc. and "fun money" being for eating out, family outings, etc. This is working so far (for the most part) and is a lot easier to track than the multiple categories I used to have. I think my next step will be to give me & DW each an "allowance" as another poster mentioned. We don't buy much but right now when we do, it ends up coming out of our general "fun money" bucket.

We did this a few months ago and have finally gotten through all of the half-used shampoo and conditioner bottles that we'd accumulated. Of course, that didn't stop me from buying them when they're on sale because we go through so much (family of 6, 3 girls and me, all with long hair), but it was good to get through all of the bottles and not waste them like we would have done in the past.

I need to sort through everything on the top shelves of our linen closet. That's where "extra" toiletries and lotions & things we're given as gifts always end up, and I have no idea what's even up there. And what always happens is that, when we're running low on something, instead of looking to see if we have some up in the closet, it goes on the shopping list and I just buy more.

 

[Marlyn]

I think I have enough shampoo and conditioner and lotion from disney resorts to last us 3 months. Why I am storing it instead of using it is beyond me. I'm going back in July and will just acquire more. I am not going to buy any more of these products until I use My Disney stash. I'll save money AND be reminded of Disney every day. It's a win win!!!

 

[DisneyMandC]

I too have accumulated way too much soap and shampoo and conditioner. I easily have enough shampoo and conditioner for a year, and I have very long hair. I did realize we were on our last tube of toothpaste now though, so that will be my next stock up!

 

[mrsabbott]

Virtual money is definitely my downfall so I want to use actual envelopes but pulling the top 3 is a good idea. I figure my biggest budgets are food, gas and eating out. We really need to curb the eating out and I'm hoping this will help.
I also need to figure out how to divide groceries and household when I buy at one store, or if I should lump it into one. Household being laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc. Thankfully Target receipts do that for me already, not sure if Stop and Shop does.

[/QUOTE]

See, I prefer to use the card because I can easily go online and keep track of how much DH and I both are spending and on what. Honestly, getting cash out to do the envelope thing would be a pain for me. Our Credit Union is about a 30 minute drive. I could use a local ATM, but that would be at least $5 in ATM fees.. Just doesn't seem feasible for me.

I also combine groceries and household items in one budget.. basically, anything I purchase at the grocery store is grouped into one. Also, my grocery budget varies week to week. Hubs' weekly check varies.. I take that amount and immediately subtract his Snap-on payment (Hubs is forever needing a tool or something for a job.. it is the downside of being a mechanic). I pay what bill or two that is due that week and then calculate how much we need for gas (I try to not get gas except every other week) and then groceries. Sometimes, it is only $50. Sometimes it is more. Usually it is around $100 a week on average. I then make a grocery list (I mentally guestimate how much it will be) and take my calculator with me to the store. I make sure to not go over my budget!

 

[Angeejoe]

Thanks for the welcome! I have been fighting an uphill battle with our debt load since about 2010, but I think we are finally reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. We didn't have a ton of debt, but for everything I paid, the debt came right back because my youngest had cancer. Fortunately we were living in Canada so we didn't have too many medical expenses to add to the pile, but it still adds up fast. So here is my debt in a nutshell:

We have about $50K in debt that goes away and comes back. I can't ever seem to make it go away completely and about 13K is consistently on our mastercard. On top of this, the medical stuff and stress has gotten us to the point where we have debated divorcing. We decided to both try, but agreed that we need to vacation this year and see if it helps some. We live pretty remote, so we don't go out often and rarely eat out, which makes the debt part better but the relationship part suck. Last month I decided to price out vacations to see if this was even possible and even with the crappy Canadian exchange rate, it will still be cheaper for us to drive to Port Canaveral, visit family on the way, take a 3 day Bahamian cruise and drive home then it is to even travel here in Canada. It looks like the estimate for the entire trip will be about $4000-$5000, but I always do a lot to cut the cost along the way. My goal is to pay off the vacation, pay down a huge chunk (if not all) of the credit card debt in 2016 and then really get to the low interest stuff in 2017.

In the past we tried the cash jar/ money envelope systems and unfortunately they didn't work at all for us. Those systems are all based on tracking your cash, so you have to have receipts or write it down. I did it for about 6 months and found I spent a lot of time asking my husband where this money or that money went. We even tried just giving him his own envelope to spend money, but we felt like we were constantly having to ask one another for money and since we aren't big spenders it just added guilt for necessary expenses. It clearly works for a lot of people, but we sort of came up with our own system to pay things down and it has worked twice, but we have had big Murphy's that popped up before we could get an emergency fund together that would cover it. I am super nerdy, but I have a budget spreadsheet that calculates our specific expenses and that is what I have been using to keep track. It isn't exact, but it seems to be helping to cover the little things that pop up while paying down the existing debt. I'm going to stick with it for awhile and see how things go, but I'm always looking for suggestions or tips. Adulting sucks sometimes. =)

Welcome aboard! Sounds like you have a lot going on! Sending prayers your way.

Do you following the cruise thread where they track the best DCL deals? I find it a wealth of info on good deals:
http://www.disboards.com/threads/cu...ts-plus-my-sleeper-rates-thru-5-2017.3244232/

 

[ariel1025]

I need to sort through everything on the top shelves of our linen closet. That's where "extra" toiletries and lotions & things we're given as gifts always end up, and I have no idea what's even up there. And what always happens is that, when we're running low on something, instead of looking to see if we have some up in the closet, it goes on the shopping list and I just buy more.

This was a big issue for us too. What I did was take everything out of the linen closet (and kid's bathroom storage cabinet...and our bathroom storage cabinet) and make an inventory of everything we had. 4 hairsprays, 6 shampoos etc. I kept the inventory in a checklist in my phone. For the most part I can guesstimate pretty well how much of something we will use each month. So, when I went out shopping I wouldn't allow myself to buy quantities that would put me over a quarter (3 months) worth of any item. I was basically just using the logic that all great sales will come back around every quarter. So far the only thing I've had to run out and buy before the next big sale hit was toothpaste.

Oh, and when I put it back I put it in individual plastic storage containers (had around the house already, but were all bought at some point from the Dollar Tree). I labeled each container on the front and put the container in a location that made the most sense. Shaving gels in our bathroom, flouride free toothpaste in the kids bathroom, hairspray in linen closet because we all use it etc.

This has worked so well for us with that stuff that I'm going to give it a test drive with the cleaning products now

 

[gracie1]

So I believe Murphy has stopped by. When I started my car yesterday the check engine light is on. This happened to my dad last week with his truck and after 2 days it reset itself. Hoping mine does the same! I'm not running it right to the shop just yet - but if it stays on into next week it looks like I might have to. Thanks Murphy!

 

[gracie1]

Thanks for the welcome! I have been fighting an uphill battle with our debt load since about 2010, but I think we are finally reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. We didn't have a ton of debt, but for everything I paid, the debt came right back because my youngest had cancer. Fortunately we were living in Canada so we didn't have too many medical expenses to add to the pile, but it still adds up fast. So here is my debt in a nutshell:

We have about $50K in debt that goes away and comes back. I can't ever seem to make it go away completely and about 13K is consistently on our mastercard. On top of this, the medical stuff and stress has gotten us to the point where we have debated divorcing. We decided to both try, but agreed that we need to vacation this year and see if it helps some. We live pretty remote, so we don't go out often and rarely eat out, which makes the debt part better but the relationship part suck. Last month I decided to price out vacations to see if this was even possible and even with the crappy Canadian exchange rate, it will still be cheaper for us to drive to Port Canaveral, visit family on the way, take a 3 day Bahamian cruise and drive home then it is to even travel here in Canada. It looks like the estimate for the entire trip will be about $4000-$5000, but I always do a lot to cut the cost along the way. My goal is to pay off the vacation, pay down a huge chunk (if not all) of the credit card debt in 2016 and then really get to the low interest stuff in 2017.

In the past we tried the cash jar/ money envelope systems and unfortunately they didn't work at all for us. Those systems are all based on tracking your cash, so you have to have receipts or write it down. I did it for about 6 months and found I spent a lot of time asking my husband where this money or that money went. We even tried just giving him his own envelope to spend money, but we felt like we were constantly having to ask one another for money and since we aren't big spenders it just added guilt for necessary expenses. It clearly works for a lot of people, but we sort of came up with our own system to pay things down and it has worked twice, but we have had big Murphy's that popped up before we could get an emergency fund together that would cover it. I am super nerdy, but I have a budget spreadsheet that calculates our specific expenses and that is what I have been using to keep track. It isn't exact, but it seems to be helping to cover the little things that pop up while paying down the existing debt. I'm going to stick with it for awhile and see how things go, but I'm always looking for suggestions or tips. Adulting sucks sometimes. =)

Sorry to hear about the stress of your youngest child and the stress between you and dh. Maybe this is what you need - a vacation to reconnect and destress. I Don't know your history and surely not going to ask - but sometimes illness in the family can really take its toll on family members and marriages. I'm just saying that if this is when the problems started then maybe this vacation will really help! As for working on the debt - you said that you have around 50k - with mostly 13k being on a cc. Are the other ones credit cards also? We have about 3 years worth of threads if you get time to go back and read them. They will give you many ideas for debt dumping. But like most all of us will tell you - the most important thing is to sit down and make a budget and see what you owe. Then you have the option whichever best works for you with the snowball option to either start paying the smallest bill first to get it out of the way or start with the higher interest. I personally prefer starting with the smallest balance and then going on from there because getting those zero balances really starts to motivate you!

 

[TheGryphonsDen]

Thanks @Angeejoe

@gracie1 - I don't mind talking about our situation, I just don't want to sound like Debbie Downer because that isn't me at all. My daughter had embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma... Basically she had cancer- a tumour on her uterus that was discovered just after she turned 1. She went through chemo and a hysterectomy and has been in remission for about three years now. It was a lot of stress, and that was the initial debt load. We essentially got stuck with $30K worth of debt within 4 months and I was told that if she made it through the first two months I would have to quit my job and take care of her full time. I went back to work when she went into kindergarten and we paid everything down. As things were improving from that, my husbands behaviour changed and I thought it was just stress, but we found out he had a problem with his pituitary not functioning. At the same time, we found out that our basement walls were no longer to code and we had to replace two of them. So last summer we had to pay for 2 walls to be replaced and move out of the house for about a month while trying to get DH back on track. Although it isn't life threatening and he does get hormone injections, it completely changed his personality and he had to take some time off of work. Now that things are balancing out (again) we definitely need to take a break, but I know getting rid of the debt will help a lot as well. The 13K is the only part on a charge card. The rest is on a line of credit with a really low interest rate, so although I need to pay it off, I'm more focused on getting rid of the higher interest rate. I can't complain too much because we don't fight or anything and if you were around us, you probably would never notice that anything is wrong. We get along great, but we barely spend time together and need to all just have some fun.

Thanks for the tip about going back through old threads. I will start working my way through them. =)

 

[stayhomemom77]

Payday! Time for another update.

My 2016 goals:

#1- Save $15,000 for the house down payment
#2- Save $2000 in the Curveball fund
#3- Save $4000 in the emergency fund

I have $1100 so far for the house down payment. I have been working first on the emergency fund and then on the curveball fund so the house money is going to start slow but should start building quickly come April. If we decide not to use the tax refund for the house savings, then we will want the 2016 goal to be $12,000. Since we have not yet made a decision either way on this issue...we are leaving things as they are for now.

I have $500 so far in the curveball account. It should be at $1000 but we had to take the car in on Wednesday to have a wheel bearing replaced and that cost a little over $500. They also said we have a transmission line leak, but it's not a serious one. They estimated another $500 for that but at Easter when we go visit family, we'll make an appointment with my FIL's dealership because he's the parts manager and his best friend is the service manager and they always manage to get our costs down nice and low for repairs. Anyway, though the amount is less than I was expecting to have at this time...I'm still on track because this account is a revolving one.

I have the full $4000 in the emergency fund.

 

[MrsTurnerLovesDisney]

Well I did it I sat down and came up with a rough draft 5 year plan. Now 90% of this depends on DH getting a better paying job but we are working on that. He is applying to several if only one of them would ever call him back! He's applied for about 10 different jobs that he is at least minimally qualified for and in his desired career field in the past year and not 1 interview! He's also applied to several not necessarily in his career field had an interview for one place that would take him working out of state for weeks on in and making barely $.75/hour more than he does now. So that was a no go.

Anyways if he gets a better paying job I have outline a plan to snow ball payments on his truck note and have it paid off in 4 years vs 6 years. (We would start doubling payments next year and it would take 3 years total to finish it off from that point.)

Also devised a plan to get student loan debt paid off in 7 years vs 16 the lenders are giving us.
Between us we have 3 accounts total. Next year I would double up on payments for 1 of my accounts plus throw some tax return money to it. We would make min. payments on the other 2 accounts. Doing this the 1st account of mine which is the highest balance/highest interest would be paid off at the end of 2019.

Starting in 2020 I could take the money I used on the first account and apply it to the 2nd and that one will be finished in 2021. Actually should be done around Oct of that year.

Then lastly I will snowball the money to DH account and it will be paid off by June 2023.
We know in 4-5 years we want a bigger house and will need a bigger house if we have a 2nd child. So having most of the student loan debt and the truck paid off will help us a lot when we go house hunting.
Here's hoping that works!

 

[rnorwo1]

Thanks @Angeejoe

@gracie1 - I don't mind talking about our situation, I just don't want to sound like Debbie Downer because that isn't me at all. My daughter had embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma... Basically she had cancer- a tumour on her uterus that was discovered just after she turned 1. She went through chemo and a hysterectomy and has been in remission for about three years now. It was a lot of stress, and that was the initial debt load. We essentially got stuck with $30K worth of debt within 4 months and I was told that if she made it through the first two months I would have to quit my job and take care of her full time. I went back to work when she went into kindergarten and we paid everything down. As things were improving from that, my husbands behaviour changed and I thought it was just stress, but we found out he had a problem with his pituitary not functioning. At the same time, we found out that our basement walls were no longer to code and we had to replace two of them. So last summer we had to pay for 2 walls to be replaced and move out of the house for about a month while trying to get DH back on track. Although it isn't life threatening and he does get hormone injections, it completely changed his personality and he had to take some time off of work. Now that things are balancing out (again) we definitely need to take a break, but I know getting rid of the debt will help a lot as well. The 13K is the only part on a charge card. The rest is on a line of credit with a really low interest rate, so although I need to pay it off, I'm more focused on getting rid of the higher interest rate. I can't complain too much because we don't fight or anything and if you were around us, you probably would never notice that anything is wrong. We get along great, but we barely spend time together and need to all just have some fun.

Thanks for the tip about going back through old threads. I will start working my way through them. =)

My gosh, y'all have been through a lot!

I think feeling out of control is probably the most stressful thing. You certainly don't have control over the health issues, but maybe facing the debt and creating (and acting) on a plan to erase it will bring you some peace... Just feeling like something in your life is under control.

maybe a vacation will help. But, if it adds to the debt, or prevents a serious chunk of money from being applied to it, then I would worry that you would not be able to de-stress enough during it, and it sounds like it couldn't happen immediately? Maybe start to focus on you (individually) and your relationship with DH on a smaller scale, so that it can start NOW. Simple things like an inexpensive date night, even if it's just doing something after the kids go to bed? And what can you do just for yourself? You have to make sure that you are as strong as you can be, which usually means asking for help and getting breaks, having fun, etc. and that doesn't mean you have to spend money. I know for me, retail therapy is only a very temporary relief and is quickly replaced by guilt!

Keep reading, this is a very encouraging thread. Sending prayers that things turn around for you and your family very soon!

 

[gracie1]

Thanks @Angeejoe

@gracie1 - I don't mind talking about our situation, I just don't want to sound like Debbie Downer because that isn't me at all. My daughter had embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma... Basically she had cancer- a tumour on her uterus that was discovered just after she turned 1. She went through chemo and a hysterectomy and has been in remission for about three years now. It was a lot of stress, and that was the initial debt load. We essentially got stuck with $30K worth of debt within 4 months and I was told that if she made it through the first two months I would have to quit my job and take care of her full time. I went back to work when she went into kindergarten and we paid everything down. As things were improving from that, my husbands behaviour changed and I thought it was just stress, but we found out he had a problem with his pituitary not functioning. At the same time, we found out that our basement walls were no longer to code and we had to replace two of them. So last summer we had to pay for 2 walls to be replaced and move out of the house for about a month while trying to get DH back on track. Although it isn't life threatening and he does get hormone injections, it completely changed his personality and he had to take some time off of work. Now that things are balancing out (again) we definitely need to take a break, but I know getting rid of the debt will help a lot as well. The 13K is the only part on a charge card. The rest is on a line of credit with a really low interest rate, so although I need to pay it off, I'm more focused on getting rid of the higher interest rate. I can't complain too much because we don't fight or anything and if you were around us, you probably would never notice that anything is wrong. We get along great, but we barely spend time together and need to all just have some fun.

Thanks for the tip about going back through old threads. I will start working my way through them. =)

My goodness you have been through a lot! That is a ton of stress!! Don't ever feel like a Debbie downer on here - sometimes we just come on here to vent and relieve some stress! Your poor little girl has been through a lot! Sending plenty of pixie dust your way that everything stays good!! I think you guys need a little vacation - even if it was for an extended weekend away somewhere just to relax. Maybe just sit down, get your budget together and laid out and start tackling a little at a time. Of course it will seem overwhelming and stressful when it's all laid out but you will get there. Just take it step by step, and remember that when you think your two steps ahead that Murphy does like to pop in and out you a few steps behind! But don't let it throw you off track. I hope that you stay on our thread to share your successes (and remember their never to small)! And to vent if you need to.

 

[OhMari]

Have you seen the news lately about stores closing, like Macy's, Sears, JCPenny and now Kohl's? Kmart has been doing this for awhile. I think it has a lot to do with people getting a grip on their expenses and just not shopping. I heard that people are just shopping more online, which is true. A Amazone Warehouse opened near Kenosha WI and that place is huge. It is my go to online store if I need anything. But then I feel bad for the smaller stores. I did buy though a shovel at our Tru Value Store for $36. That shovel was worth every penny. It is quality made. If I would of bought it at Walmart, that thing would of been broken by now.

So my question is, have you cut expenses as much as you can, while you are paying down expenses. I know that $36 shovel would of went on my credit card, but it was nice to know, I had the money and I paid it off right away. I still use my Disney Chase credit card to get the Rewards. We just went to WDW and we had $500 to use for food and other things and we came back with $200 still on the card. We did not do the Dining Plan this year and we both felt so much better not eating so much. My mentality was, if I paid for it, I had to have it. I will never get the Dining Plan ever again. I did like the notion that it was paid ahead of time, but for myself, it just promoted over eating, and eating things I normally don't eat. I drank plenty of ice water. The water doesn't bother me since our water in Wisconsin is chlorinated and taste pretty much the same.

 

[gracie1]

Have you seen the news lately about stores closing, like Macy's, Sears, JCPenny and now Kohl's? Kmart has been doing this for awhile. I think it has a lot to do with people getting a grip on their expenses and just not shopping. I heard that people are just shopping more online, which is true. A Amazone Warehouse opened near Kenosha WI and that place is huge. It is my go to online store if I need anything. But then I feel bad for the smaller stores. I did buy though a shovel at our Tru Value Store for $36. That shovel was worth every penny. It is quality made. If I would of bought it at Walmart, that thing would of been broken by now.

So my question is, have you cut expenses as much as you can, while you are paying down expenses. I know that $36 shovel would of went on my credit card, but it was nice to know, I had the money and I paid it off right away. I still use my Disney Chase credit card to get the Rewards. We just went to WDW and we had $500 to use for food and other things and we came back with $200 still on the card. We did not do the Dining Plan this year and we both felt so much better not eating so much. My mentality was, if I paid for it, I had to have it. I will never get the Dining Plan ever again. I did like the notion that it was paid ahead of time, but for myself, it just promoted over eating, and eating things I normally don't eat. I drank plenty of ice water. The water doesn't bother me since our water in Wisconsin is chlorinated and taste pretty much the same.

I don't have any of those stores right around me except Walmart - the closest kohls and Macy's are about a 40 minute drive so I rarely ever go to them. Now the Walmart shopping - I've noticed sometimes the item in the store is cheaper online so I do order from them online a lot. Or things online I can get but they don't sell in the store or their never in stock. In the summer I also work 55-60 hours a week with one day off so I love having them just ship to my home - if I could grocery shop like that in the summer I would!
The only thing around me are outlet malls but their actually pricey so I rarely ever go there either.

 

[TheGryphonsDen]

My gosh, y'all have been through a lot!

I think feeling out of control is probably the most stressful thing. You certainly don't have control over the health issues, but maybe facing the debt and creating (and acting) on a plan to erase it will bring you some peace... Just feeling like something in your life is under control.

maybe a vacation will help. But, if it adds to the debt, or prevents a serious chunk of money from being applied to it, then I would worry that you would not be able to de-stress enough during it, and it sounds like it couldn't happen immediately? Maybe start to focus on you (individually) and your relationship with DH on a smaller scale, so that it can start NOW. Simple things like an inexpensive date night, even if it's just doing something after the kids go to bed? And what can you do just for yourself? You have to make sure that you are as strong as you can be, which usually means asking for help and getting breaks, having fun, etc. and that doesn't mean you have to spend money.

Thanks for the encouragement and really we are doing okay in the grand scheme of things, but we have some work to do. I don't think the cruise will stress us out because we are back on track with our budget and DH got a raise recently. Since November/December we have COMPLETELY changed things in our house. Between cutting out a lot of television time (I can live without tv entirely but DH wasn't moving from the TV when he came home.), to scheduling family activities at home, etc.- we have done a complete turnaround. It is helping, but I find DH and I are more like friends now than a married couple, so we're trying to work on that. We live in a small town that is a 2 hour round trip from the nearest store, restaurant, etc. Our town is like Mayberry with a lot of outdoorsy people. LOL. This isn't an issue most of the time and actually works in our favour for spending because you can talk yourself out of a lot of things when you have to trudge through freezing temperatures and drive 2 hours to get anything. On the other hand, it makes a date night almost impossible and we have no family around to help. We do what we can, but planning an actual vacation is the only time we really get to get out and do an actual activity together without the kids. (To be honest, I'm not sure that DH minds that we don't. Even with the change in medication he is still very apathetic about almost everything.) So, we are making efforts, but this is the first real effort he has made in about 8 years, so I'm doing what I can to be supportive and to figure out if we are ever going to be able to make things work. I have done everything in my power to make it work, so I feel like he has to try to meet me at least a little bit of the way. Hopefully he gets a little pixie dust in his eyes on the cruise,lol.

Have you seen the news lately about stores closing, like Macy's, Sears, JCPenny and now Kohl's? Kmart has been doing this for awhile. I think it has a lot to do with people getting a grip on their expenses and just not shopping. I heard that people are just shopping more online, which is true. A Amazone Warehouse opened near Kenosha WI and that place is huge. It is my go to online store if I need anything. But then I feel bad for the smaller stores. I did buy though a shovel at our Tru Value Store for $36. That shovel was worth every penny. It is quality made. If I would of bought it at Walmart, that thing would of been broken by now.

So my question is, have you cut expenses as much as you can, while you are paying down expenses

Canada has the same issues with the big box stores and online shopping, but I mostly shop local because we are remote. The city where we shop had a Target store open less than a year ago and it is already closed. They spent a ton of money opening the store, but it was nothing like Target in the US and they jacked up prices so no one shopped there. I do some shopping online, but with the exchange rate and most things having to be purchased from the US, I haven't shopped online except for one or two small items at Christmas. I used to buy school clothes for the kids through Kohls online because the stores were often higher priced. Their website had a lot more on sale, especially for toddlers and smaller children. I think the housing market and economy crash didn't help matters because it really hit the middle class hard and that is the target demographic for these stores. For me personally, I have started to pay attention to the quality of things that I'm buying as well. I wouldn't have thought twice about grabbing a cheap item at the store if I needed it. Now, especially because some of those items are now more expensive, I will consider paying a little more for something that isn't going to fall apart. As a result I am noticing that some things we purchased more frequently before are lasting a little longer or I just make do with something I have at home instead of buying a specialty item.