Debt Dumpers - 2014

[gracie1]

I'd like to join in as well.

I've done budget after budget after budget. And have discovered that I can follow them pretty well. My significant other, not so much. I understand why SO wants to spend money when there is some, but getting SO to realize that spending $20 today is costing us more tomorrow just isn't registering for some reason.

My goal for the year is to get rid of my credit card debts (4 cards about $7000 total), build up my savings and retirement accounts, make a significant dent (2+ years or more) on my mortgages (house and timeshares), and cut back from 4 jobs (1 full time and 3 part time) to 1 and 1 (maybe).

I've never heard of the YNAB, I need to go look at it. I've been using combinations of Quicken and excel spreadsheets.

Thanks for having me. And here's to hoping the new year is better than last year!! (which caused ALL of the cc debt when SO was unemployed for 6 months ).

Maybe try putting your SO on a cash only budget? A lot the SO only so much per week, and when the money is gone, it's gone (for the extra spending). Would they be willing to do that?

 

[gracie1]

I'm back in again, it seems like I just joined the 2013 thread! Recap; 5 credit cards totaling the $39k range, paying off the smallest by February) the next one is going to take a bit longer since it's a lot higher balance, but goal is Nov 2014..I'm hoping we can sell our house by late summer/early fall, that will free up about $1800-$2000 more a month, which will help pay down everything a lot faster! We moved for our jobs, and are renting & paying a mortgage which isn't working! Anyway, I wanted to do this to make myself accountable, so here I am! Thanks for your support!

Good luck on selling your house!! Just think, after February that is one less card you have to pay For me that is where the real motivation started, making that last payment. And on the other large ones, when it would get under each $1000 mark (like if I owed $6k and then it was $5k and so on) that got me excited!

 

[yupikgal]

Good luck on selling your house!! Just think, after February that is one less card you have to pay For me that is where the real motivation started, making that last payment. And on the other large ones, when it would get under each $1000 mark (like if I owed $6k and then it was $5k and so on) that got me excited!

Thank you & happy new year! We have to do some renovations/updates to our place before we can sell, including painting the outside, so some of the $$ that I would be paying towards the debt will have to temporarily go to prepping the house instead, but it will be worth it in the end..if we can't sell it by fall, at least it will be ready to go when it does sell!

Yes, I'm like you, looking forward to seeing our balances go down significantly, $1k @ a time!

 

[dayvewc]

Maybe try putting your SO on a cash only budget? A lot the SO only so much per week, and when the money is gone, it's gone (for the extra spending). Would they be willing to do that?

I've tried that, and variations on that. It generally went:

Me: Here's your money for the week. You've got $50, but you'll need to use $20 for gas to get to work.

(The next day)
SO: I need to get gas.
Me: It's supposed to come out of the money you got.
SO: I spent it already.
Me: On what.
SO: I got hungry, so I bought some hot-links. And I owed someone at work $5 from last week. And I figured I'd buy a couple of extra packs of cigarettes. And I'm not sure where the rest of it went.
Me: I'm not sure I have any extra to give you.
SO: Ok, then I'll just call work and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days.
Me: Fine, gather the bags of cans and lets take and cash them in. Just remember, that is partly how we pay for Disney.
SO: I have faith that you'll find a way.

-----

Can you tell I get a little frustrated sometimes?

 

[PrincessKymm]

I'm in for 2014! This is gonna be my year because I'm gonna make it my year.

My 2014 goals include paying my car off and paying off 1 student loan. I'm also going to save for Christmas and those other annual events like car tags, school fees, back to school shopping and the like. I've also set up a monthly deposit into my sons 529. It's not a lot but it will add up very quickly. I'm hoping to increase the amount every year as we go along.

This was supposed to be a no travel year but I was gifted a free hotel and 3 free airline tickets so I've got to figure out where to go and how much to save. This may throw off my debt reduction plan but not by a ton. I'd love to make this a Disney trip but I can't afford to pay off my car and go to Disney again since we were just there in November.

With any luck I'll be student loan free within 3 years. Might be more or it could be less but I really need to save more and buy some new furniture. All my stuff is hand me down and is showing its age. My dresser drawers are becoming impossible to open and close easily. My son needs a new dresser as well. He's 11 and still using his nursery dresser! Time to upgrade him into adult stuff.

Good luck to everyone in 2014!!!

 

[SpaceGirl]

I've done budget after budget after budget. And have discovered that I can follow them pretty well. My significant other, not so much. I understand why SO wants to spend money when there is some, but getting SO to realize that spending $20 today is costing us more tomorrow just isn't registering for some reason.

Here's to hoping the new year is better than last year!! (which caused ALL of the cc debt when SO was unemployed for 6 months ).

Me: Here's your money for the week. You've got $50, but you'll need to use $20 for gas to get to work.

(The next day)
SO: I need to get gas.
Me: It's supposed to come out of the money you got.
SO: I spent it already.
Me: On what.
SO: I got hungry, so I bought some hot-links. And I owed someone at work $5 from last week. And I figured I'd buy a couple of extra packs of cigarettes. And I'm not sure where the rest of it went.
Me: I'm not sure I have any extra to give you.
SO: Ok, then I'll just call work and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days.
Me: Fine, gather the bags of cans and lets take and cash them in. Just remember, that is partly how we pay for Disney.
SO: I have faith that you'll find a way.

-----

Can you tell I get a little frustrated sometimes?

FRUSTRATED... I think you know where you're bleeding money. Your credit card debt is from when your SO was out of work for 6 months...Yet when the SO spends the gas money to travel back and forth to work, the solution is "I'll just call and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days." This is a solution after being out of work for 6 months, while living off your credit cards. But the SO has Faith that You will find a way...while you are working 4 jobs...

I think that until you and your SO start working together as one toward your goals even short term goals are going to be very hard for you to meet. I'm not privileged in knowing if this person is going to be part of your life long term, are you both on the same page about commitment to one another? As long as this person is not working with you toward goals you need to keep finances separate, no joint bank or credit cards, no signing for car loans, with minimal financial assistance from you day to day. (This is to protect you and your future)

You shouldn't have to be giving the SO $50.00 for the week, as this person is an adult and should be responsible for their own expenses not you. You questioning them about where the money went sounds like a conversation between a parent and child.

If the SO is so irresponsible with their money you need is set ground rules and treat them as you would a roommate half of all the living expenses plus repayment for their portion of the credit card debit.

I know this post isn't as supportive as I would like, I love helping with that realization that you can accomplish anything you want and you can, but you know where the starting point is and in this case it isn't all about the money.

 

[SpaceGirl]

I'm in for 2014! This is gonna be my year because I'm gonna make it my year.

PrincessKymm

Glad too see you back. (well not glad because of the debit dumpers thing) Love your 2014 Statement and your goals.

 

[gracie1]

I've tried that, and variations on that. It generally went:

Me: Here's your money for the week. You've got $50, but you'll need to use $20 for gas to get to work.

(The next day)
SO: I need to get gas.
Me: It's supposed to come out of the money you got.
SO: I spent it already.
Me: On what.
SO: I got hungry, so I bought some hot-links. And I owed someone at work $5 from last week. And I figured I'd buy a couple of extra packs of cigarettes. And I'm not sure where the rest of it went.
Me: I'm not sure I have any extra to give you.
SO: Ok, then I'll just call work and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days.
Me: Fine, gather the bags of cans and lets take and cash them in. Just remember, that is partly how we pay for Disney.
SO: I have faith that you'll find a way.

-----

Can you tell I get a little frustrated sometimes?

I am frustrated for you That would drive me up the wall!! Although I would be the complete opposite, tell SO to call out of work, and when we have less income because of it you would have even less money than the $50!!

 

[gracie1]

I'm in for 2014! This is gonna be my year because I'm gonna make it my year.

My 2014 goals include paying my car off and paying off 1 student loan. I'm also going to save for Christmas and those other annual events like car tags, school fees, back to school shopping and the like. I've also set up a monthly deposit into my sons 529. It's not a lot but it will add up very quickly. I'm hoping to increase the amount every year as we go along.

This was supposed to be a no travel year but I was gifted a free hotel and 3 free airline tickets so I've got to figure out where to go and how much to save. This may throw off my debt reduction plan but not by a ton. I'd love to make this a Disney trip but I can't afford to pay off my car and go to Disney again since we were just there in November.

With any luck I'll be student loan free within 3 years. Might be more or it could be less but I really need to save more and buy some new furniture. All my stuff is hand me down and is showing its age. My dresser drawers are becoming impossible to open and close easily. My son needs a new dresser as well. He's 11 and still using his nursery dresser! Time to upgrade him into adult stuff.

Good luck to everyone in 2014!!!

This definitely sounds like your year!!! You have definitely gotten your money worth out of the nursery dresser! I am sure you will find an affordable vacation since!

 

[gracie1]

FRUSTRATED... I think you know where you're bleeding money. Your credit card debt is from when your SO was out of work for 6 months...Yet when the SO spends the gas money to travel back and forth to work, the solution is "I'll just call and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days." This is a solution after being out of work for 6 months, while living off your credit cards. But the SO has Faith that You will find a way...while you are working 4 jobs...

I think that until you and your SO start working together as one toward your goals even short term goals are going to be very hard for you to meet. I'm not privileged in knowing if this person is going to be part of your life long term, are you both on the same page about commitment to one another? As long as this person is not working with you toward goals you need to keep finances separate, no joint bank or credit cards, no signing for car loans, with minimal financial assistance from you day to day. (This is to protect you and your future)

You shouldn't have to be giving the SO $50.00 for the week, as this person is an adult and should be responsible for their own expenses not you. You questioning them about where the money went sounds like a conversation between a parent and child.

If the SO is so irresponsible with their money you need is set ground rules and treat them as you would a roommate half of all the living expenses plus repayment for their portion of the credit card debit.

I know this post isn't as supportive as I would like, I love helping with that realization that you can accomplish anything you want and you can, but you know where the starting point is and in this case it isn't all about the money.

Agree 100% with you on this! You said everything I was thinking. I have been in the situation where I supported my SO's and I will not do that again.

 

[SpaceGirl]

Agree 100% with you on this! You said everything I was thinking. I have been in the situation where I supported my SO's and I will not do that again.

I too have been there done that. Great for him not so much for me. You do learn things over the years, sometimes the hard way.

 

[dayvewc]

FRUSTRATED... I think you know where you're bleeding money. Your credit card debt is from when your SO was out of work for 6 months...Yet when the SO spends the gas money to travel back and forth to work, the solution is "I'll just call and tell them I can't come in for a couple of days." This is a solution after being out of work for 6 months, while living off your credit cards. But the SO has Faith that You will find a way...while you are working 4 jobs...

I think that until you and your SO start working together as one toward your goals even short term goals are going to be very hard for you to meet. I'm not privileged in knowing if this person is going to be part of your life long term, are you both on the same page about commitment to one another? As long as this person is not working with you toward goals you need to keep finances separate, no joint bank or credit cards, no signing for car loans, with minimal financial assistance from you day to day. (This is to protect you and your future)

You shouldn't have to be giving the SO $50.00 for the week, as this person is an adult and should be responsible for their own expenses not you. You questioning them about where the money went sounds like a conversation between a parent and child.

If the SO is so irresponsible with their money you need is set ground rules and treat them as you would a roommate half of all the living expenses plus repayment for their portion of the credit card debit.

I know this post isn't as supportive as I would like, I love helping with that realization that you can accomplish anything you want and you can, but you know where the starting point is and in this case it isn't all about the money.

So much here, and all of it good. Lets see, we are planning to be long-term partners and committed to each other. There are rough patches in the relationship, but we have managed to work through most all of them. The biggest detrimental aspect of our relationship (from my perspective) is the money issues.

A little more background: he knows that he is not great with finances, so (mostly) leaves that all to me. Which means, he gives me his check each week and then I give him back what is not "due" for household bills etc.

Currently, he is working for just at minimum wage for 3-4 days a week, so most of his checks are between $160 - $210. The first $100 each week goes to pay his car payment (pay off at the end of May). The next $20 I set aside for his auto insurance. (We are on a shared policy, which actually lowered my insurance by $50 a month). After that, he gets back $7 for each day he worked for gas and then approximately 25% of what is left. The rest goes to shared household bills. Looking back, he has been been getting back between $35 and $50 (including gas allowance).

Household bills and expenses average about $2000 / month not including my gas, or any food. Before he was unemployed, he was paying his car payment and half all expenses. Since he found this job (which I kind of hope is temporary, but he enjoys and may make permanent) he has been "paying" his car payment and between $100-$200 a month for bills. My full-time job pays me just about $2100 a month, and my part-time jobs net me between $300 - $1000 a month, depending on time of year and number of hours I get. With the minimal amount of spending that I normally do, I can _just_ make the bills from what I get from my primary job. The secondary jobs pay my gas and food and pay extra on CC's. The problem is if anything unexpected happens, it has to get added back on the CC as I have no reserves left.

Starting today, though, it is going to get rougher since he managed to get signed up for insurance. That will be an additional $80 a month that he will have to pay. He makes just over the cut-off for Medicaid (we live in a non-ACA-medicaid expanded state) so he has to pay it out of pocket.

I feel like I'm whining. And I am sure I am some. It just seems like every time I can see the glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel, it turns out to just be a will-o-the-wisp and the tunnel is a lot longer than I thought.

I am frustrated for you That would drive me up the wall!! Although I would be the complete opposite, tell SO to call out of work, and when we have less income because of it you would have even less money than the $50!!

Thanks. And yes, I have thought of doing that. lol.

 

[Eureka]

This is gonna be my year because I'm gonna make it my year.

I love this. We all need to think like this. I was feeling overwhelmed and down the past few days (not really having to do with finances) and need to remember that even though there are so many things I can't change, there are so many things I can control and need to be more positive.

 

[dayvewc]

I love this. We all need to think like this. I was feeling overwhelmed and down the past few days (not really having to do with finances) and need to remember that even though there are so many things I can't change, there are so many things I can control and need to be more positive.

Exactly!! I'm gonna do it, one way or another.

 

[gracie1]

I love this. We all need to think like this. I was feeling overwhelmed and down the past few days (not really having to do with finances) and need to remember that even though there are so many things I can't change, there are so many things I can control and need to be more positive.

I know the feeling! Maybe it was just the end of 2013 blues! You can do this!!

 

[gracie1]

So much here, and all of it good. Lets see, we are planning to be long-term partners and committed to each other. There are rough patches in the relationship, but we have managed to work through most all of them. The biggest detrimental aspect of our relationship (from my perspective) is the money issues.

A little more background: he knows that he is not great with finances, so (mostly) leaves that all to me. Which means, he gives me his check each week and then I give him back what is not "due" for household bills etc.

Currently, he is working for just at minimum wage for 3-4 days a week, so most of his checks are between $160 - $210. The first $100 each week goes to pay his car payment (pay off at the end of May). The next $20 I set aside for his auto insurance. (We are on a shared policy, which actually lowered my insurance by $50 a month). After that, he gets back $7 for each day he worked for gas and then approximately 25% of what is left. The rest goes to shared household bills. Looking back, he has been been getting back between $35 and $50 (including gas allowance).

Household bills and expenses average about $2000 / month not including my gas, or any food. Before he was unemployed, he was paying his car payment and half all expenses. Since he found this job (which I kind of hope is temporary, but he enjoys and may make permanent) he has been "paying" his car payment and between $100-$200 a month for bills. My full-time job pays me just about $2100 a month, and my part-time jobs net me between $300 - $1000 a month, depending on time of year and number of hours I get. With the minimal amount of spending that I normally do, I can _just_ make the bills from what I get from my primary job. The secondary jobs pay my gas and food and pay extra on CC's. The problem is if anything unexpected happens, it has to get added back on the CC as I have no reserves left.

Starting today, though, it is going to get rougher since he managed to get signed up for insurance. That will be an additional $80 a month that he will have to pay. He makes just over the cut-off for Medicaid (we live in a non-ACA-medicaid expanded state) so he has to pay it out of pocket.

I feel like I'm whining. And I am sure I am some. It just seems like every time I can see the glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel, it turns out to just be a will-o-the-wisp and the tunnel is a lot longer than I thought.



Thanks. And yes, I have thought of doing that. lol.

Is there a reason why he cannot pick up an extra job?

 

[dayvewc]

Is there a reason why he cannot pick up an extra job?

Other than few jobs being available, no reason that I know of.

 

[Sew into Disney]

I am not sure if this is against the TOS if it is please let me know and I will delete YNAB is currently 75% of on Steam right now. That deal is only good for about 16 hours. I am no way endorsing the product Just passing on a good deal for those of you that might be interested in it.


Dayvewc ~ I agree with gracie1 about him getting another part time job.

Eureka ~ You've got this! Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have a moment of feeling down about life.

 

[gracie1]

I am not sure if this is against the TOS if it is please let me know and I will delete YNAB is currently 75% of on Steam right now. That deal is only good for about 16 hours. I am no way endorsing the product Just passing on a good deal for those of you that might be interested in it. Dayvewc ~ I agree with gracie1 about him getting another part time job. Eureka ~ You've got this! Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have a moment of feeling down about life.

Thanks for posting the deal!! And Eureka- remember you can always just come on here to vent!! Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest!

 

[gracie1]

Other than few jobs being available, no reason that I know of.

My suggestion is that you talk to him about getting an extra job. It sounds like he likes the job he has and is planning on staying there - and if you continue to work your butt off just to make it each month, it's just not fair. That's just my two cents though! Hugs to you and I hope things are better in 2014!!