Death......

[andersonsc]

I'm not sure what she means either, so not worried about it. If she thinks my comment was selfish, then she's right. If my spouse dies, it will be about what I and inlaws need- not friends, Neighbor's, etc.

 

[amberpi]

the thought of death is not something that bothers me.

Better man than I. I've done it (been DEAD, not near death, actually dead) and I still don't now exactly what to think of it, nor has anyone that I've encountered in support groups. How did you get to that point of zen?

ETA: Surely it at least gives you pause?

 

[Allison]

You need to read your post carefully; The "I" I, I, is resounding.

I'm not sure I see the problem with someone expressing how they feel about the issue. This isn't a situation where this is one right answer.

 

[Vijoge]

The final funeral that will make 0 sense to me is when my father ultimately passes away. I've told people I'm not going as I will not stand there and listen to people say he was a great man when he was an abusive alcoholic who cheated on his wife, ran away with one of his mistresses, and left his kids to starve after their mom died. Those are the funerals I just don't get. Why even bother gathering to act like anyone actually liked the man and smile and cry over it?

Sounds like my stepfather. The best we could do was show up at the cemetery for his burial. No one cried. Honestly, no one cared. We aren't cold people, but he was a vicious b******. It's a sad thing when you've lived your life in such a way that there is not one person who sheds a tear at your passing, isn't it?

 

[Vijoge]

My friend's grandmother died. Her funeral was held in a traditional funeral home with a portable bar set up. Her favorite music was playing and propped up on the lid of her open casket was a sign that read "If you didn't care enough to come see me when I was alive you don't need to be here gawking at me now that I'm dead!"

 

[MIGrandma]

Well said!! I don't like to go to funerals either, but it's called respect! You stand by those that are going through difficult, heart wrenching experiences because that's the thing to do. I've been on 'both' sides of the fence! I love my friends and family and have needed them desperately at times as they have needed me.

We always have had wakes and funerals, and, as for me, it helps a little bit toward the healing of acceptance and closure.

I added the bolding. You said "as for YOU" it helps....but see, not everyone feels the same way as you do. How a person feels is right for THEM. There is no WRONG way to feel. That's what many people don't seem to understand.

Personally, I don't NEED a funeral for acceptance and closure. Now, for a very close or immediate family member then yes, I will go to their funeral or memorial if there is one. But for someone I don't know, I would go to a visitation but not the actual funeral. It really just depends on how close I am to the person, or their family that they leave behind.

And just because someone doesn't go to someone's funeral doesn't mean they don't love or respect them.

 

[MIGrandma]

My friend's grandmother died. Her funeral was held in a traditional funeral home with a portable bar set up. Her favorite music was playing and propped up on the lid of her open casket was a sign that read "If you didn't care enough to come see me when I was alive you don't need to be here gawking at me now that I'm dead!"

I love that! That's exactly how my mother feels!

 

[fly girl]

I'm dreading tomorrow. Simply dreading it.

My dear friends just lost their 2 year old daughter Friday to a very rare and exceedingly fast spreading brain tumor. It was less than 48 hours from initial onset of symptoms (throwing up, lethargy -- something that would not make a parent think brain tumor) to her passing. On Wednesday we were chatting about her upcoming WDW trip over her 3rd birthday and how she booked BBB.

In a blink of an eye, their world is shattered. I am heartbroken. And helpless, as there is nothing anyone can do to ease the pure suffering they are enduring. Oh this is just not right.

I've never been to a child's funeral. I know it is the worst. How could it not be? I will get through it. For them. For her.

But my heart hurts, and it is a million times less pain for me than them. And I can't comprehend it. And I cry for what they are going through.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm dreading tomorrow. Simply dreading it.

My dear friends just lost their 2 year old daughter Friday to a very rare and exceedingly fast spreading brain tumor. It was less than 48 hours from initial onset of symptoms (throwing up, lethargy -- something that would not make a parent think brain tumor) to her passing. On Wednesday we were chatting about her upcoming WDW trip over her 3rd birthday and how she booked BBB.

In a blink of an eye, their world is shattered. I am heartbroken. And helpless, as there is nothing anyone can do to ease the pure suffering they are enduring. Oh this is just not right.

I've never been to a child's funeral. I know it is the worst. How could it not be? I will get through it. For them. For her.

But my heart hurts, and it is a million times less pain for me than them. And I can't comprehend it. And I cry for what they are going through.

What an awful tragedy. They're going to need as much support as they can get.

 

[NFLDERS]

I'm dreading tomorrow. Simply dreading it.

My dear friends just lost their 2 year old daughter Friday to a very rare and exceedingly fast spreading brain tumor. It was less than 48 hours from initial onset of symptoms (throwing up, lethargy -- something that would not make a parent think brain tumor) to her passing. On Wednesday we were chatting about her upcoming WDW trip over her 3rd birthday and how she booked BBB.

In a blink of an eye, their world is shattered. I am heartbroken. And helpless, as there is nothing anyone can do to ease the pure suffering they are enduring. Oh this is just not right.

I've never been to a child's funeral. I know it is the worst. How could it not be? I will get through it. For them. For her.

But my heart hurts, and it is a million times less pain for me than them. And I can't comprehend it. And I cry for what they are going through.

Your love, and support will fill their hearts as they honour their daughter's short time with them. I've attended funerals for the very young, and very old. The passing of time always had me hear from their loved ones; how comforting it was for them to talk to us in their time of sorrow. God bless you fly girl.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

You don't want to go, don't go...problem solved. Why the long drawn out post about it???

 

[fly girl]

You don't want to go, don't go...problem solved. Why the long drawn out post about it???

Geez, if that was for me I find that really offensive.

Of course I don't want to go! Who in their right mind would want to go to a funeral for a 2 year old child. Let me tell you, NO ONE!

I'm going because it's the right thing to do. I'm going for my friends, and for their sweet daughter.

And I'm releasing some of my pain on here. I didn't realize I couldn't do that.

Wow! Thanks for the "support".

 

[jiminyC_fan]

You don't want to go, don't go...problem solved. Why the long drawn out post about it???

I can't imagine your thoughts on posting something so cold. One of the worst posts I have seen on here ever and I've been on the DIS for years. Shameful.

Fly girl, it is absolutely the worst funeral to attend. I've done it. I truly think you are a beautiful person to go and support your friend even though your heart is aching. I am sorry for their pain and your pain as well.

 

[Magpie]

Geez, if that was for me I find that really offensive.

Of course I don't want to go! Who in their right mind would want to go to a funeral for a 2 year old child. Let me tell you, NO ONE!

I'm going because it's the right thing to do. I'm going for my friends, and for their sweet daughter.

And I'm releasing some of my pain on here. I didn't realize I couldn't do that.

Wow! Thanks for the "support".

I think that might have been aimed at the OP, not you. But, in either case, it's definitely insensitive.

I'm sorry for your friends, and I'm sorry for you, and for everyone who knew the little girl.

It's awful, and I completely understand why you're dreading the funeral.

 

[fly girl]

I can't imagine your thoughts on posting something so cold. One of the worst posts I have seen on here ever and I've been on the DIS for years. Shameful.

Fly girl, it is absolutely the worst funeral to attend. I've done it. I truly think you are a beautiful person to go and support your friend even though your heart is aching. I am sorry for their pain and your pain as well.

Thank you. As tears are running down my face I can barely type. I was shocked to read that. What good could've come from being so cruel to someone who's hurting.

Thank you for coming to my defense and for your support.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

Geez, if that was for me I find that really offensive.

Of course I don't want to go! Who in their right mind would want to go to a funeral for a 2 year old child. Let me tell you, NO ONE!

I'm going because it's the right thing to do. I'm going for my friends, and for their sweet daughter.

And I'm releasing some of my pain on here. I didn't realize I couldn't do that.

Wow! Thanks for the "support".

No. In no way was that directed at you. I can't imagine going to a child's funeral. My post was directed to the op. Not you at all.

 

[HeatherC]

Fly girl...if that mean spirited post was directed at you....shame on them. I cannot imagine what the parents are going through. And I know as a friend your heart must also be heartbroken. There truly are no words.

A child's funeral is unimaginably hard. I do know, however, your friends will very much appreciate your support when they certainly need it most.

Please accept my deepest condolences. Hugs!

 

[MIGrandma]

You don't want to go, don't go...problem solved. Why the long drawn out post about it???

I, too, think this post was meant for the OP. Many people seem to read only the OP, and not the rest of the thread, before making comments.

 

[HeatherC]

Oops...Pixiedust...I apologize! I thought it was meant for Flygirl too. Sorry!!!

 

[Pixiedustaway]

I can't imagine your thoughts on posting something so cold. One of the worst posts I have seen on here ever and I've been on the DIS for years. Shameful.

Fly girl, it is absolutely the worst funeral to attend. I've done it. I truly think you are a beautiful person to go and support your friend even though your heart is aching. I am sorry for their pain and your pain as well.

This was to the op. She's upset her life is inconvenienced because someone died. They will never see friends or family again. Yet her life is in a tizzy. I've seen worst posts.