Death......

[Nancyg56]

Please don't misunderstand, I want to go to see and support them. I didn't travel 500 miles begrudgingly. (They were our next door neighbors for 10 years, but moved this past October).

But yes, I am dreading seeing her little casket. I had a hard time at both my grandma's funerals looking at them. These ladies lived full lives, this one was robbed. But I'm thankful to hug my friends, show them I love them, and let them know I'm here in whatever capacity they need.

I already stopped by the house to see them and stayed for a short while, upon their request. It kills me I cannot do the things I would've done if I were still their neighbor. But thankfully they established wonderful friends here who have been tremendous support. I'm so happy they have that.


Second, I'm so sorry for your loss too. The loss of a sibling is one notch down from loss of a child in my eyes. May you get through these next few days with the love and support from your family and friends.

Oh @fly girl please do not think I meant you!!!! A baby???? I would dread that, and would nto blame anyone else who did. I am so sorry for this family.

 

[MIGrandma]

This is something I know in my heart, but it doesn't stop me from mourning. My MIL past away three years ago. She was at peace with the process (she had lung cancer). She was a believer and was ready to meet Jesus. My family are all believers as well and believe she is in a better place.

But.she's.not.here.with.us.

I miss her, every day. When planting flowers. When going to a school concert. When taking prom pictures. Every time something stupid happens in the family, I think "I wish we could ask Mom about this." It's selfish. I know it is. But I'm still sad.

I understand how you feel, my sweet MIL passed away in 2000 so it's been over 17 years and I, too, still miss her every day. She was wonderful, and I feel cheated out of years I could have had with her. She missed out on so much with her grown children, then grandchildren, and now great-grands as well. She and my FIL lived right next door to us, yet it was never a problem. They weren't "meddlers" and let us live our own lives, only giving their opinion when asked, and that is the same kind of MIL I am today, thanks to her.

She suffered with Lou Gehrig's disease for many years, so when she passed it was, in a way, a blessing. But I think of her so often, and wish she was still here, the way she was BEFORE she got sick of course. I wouldn't wish her back the way she was at the end. We, too, believe in God so know she is in a better place and we'll see her again someday. But it's hard being without her here on earth.

My FIL re-married a year after she died, and I've never been close with his new wife. I'm happy for HIM that HE is happy, but that's about it.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sounds like we have very similar beliefs. And that is how I was brought up as well. It was only fairly recently that we were part of a local parish that was much more "letter of the law" and focused on the really strict and somber parts of the faith that really made me struggle. We are thankfully in another parish now that is much more uplifting and inspiring to me.

My friend's elderly grandfather used to say that one of the early popes had a brother in the fish business and he made the rule for Catholics of no meat on Friday to throw his brother some business.

I think funerals are for the living, IF the living would find comfort in some sort of ceremony. So if there is some sort of ceremony planned and I can go, I do.

When my mother passed I remember being grateful for the support.

 

[Coonhound]

Most people hate funerals but it's terrible not to attend because you decided you don't want to go to funerals. It's not about you, it's about the family or friends of that person.

 

[DizBelle]

Most people hate funerals but it's terrible not to attend because you decided you don't want to go to funerals. It's not about you, it's about the family or friends of that person.

"Terrible"? Really? The person who doesn't like funerals is also a friend or family. What about them?

 

[luvsJack]

"Terrible"? Really? The person who doesn't like funerals is also a friend or family. What about them?

I wouldn't say its terrible but do you know people who LIKE funerals?

Funerals are hard on every one. No one enjoys them. Most adults choose to be there for the other friends and family that are there or are closer to the person or whatever. For some its about saying good bye to the deceased.

I already mentioned my issue with military funerals and what I do. My oldest son can't tolerate the "viewings"--as in the family being marched up to or by the casket to say their last good bye. He says when he does that he just pictures his grandpa. So, he goes to funerals, has even been a pall bearer multiple times and he thinks of a way to discreetly avoid that part. He doesn't refuse to go or refuse to be a pall bearer because he knows he needs to be there for his family or friend or whoever.

 

[Coonhound]

I wouldn't say its terrible but do you know people who LIKE funerals?

Funerals are hard on every one. No one enjoys them. Most adults choose to be there for the other friends and family that are there or are closer to the person or whatever. For some its about saying good bye to the deceased.

I already mentioned my issue with military funerals and what I do. My oldest son can't tolerate the "viewings"--as in the family being marched up to or by the casket to say their last good bye. He says when he does that he just pictures his grandpa. So, he goes to funerals, has even been a pall bearer multiple times and he thinks of a way to discreetly avoid that part. He doesn't refuse to go or refuse to be a pall bearer because he knows he needs to be there for his family or friend or whoever.

I can't "like" this post enough. You raised a good kid.

 

[Coonhound]

"Terrible"? Really? The person who doesn't like funerals is also a friend or family. What about them?

If it's not someone that close to you, you're going to support the family and friends.
Of it WAS someone close to you, you're going to honor them because it's the right thing to do. Deciding you'll miss a funeral because you don't enjoy it, well, you can probably count on one hand all the people who "enjoy" it but they are all still in attendance because it's not about them.

 

[here757]

Cremate me. Divide ashes into 3 nike boxes.. scotch (not duct tape)them shut. Give each of my children a box..
Side note.. scotch tape so when handling my box,they gotta be careful!