Dear MIL...

[Tasha228]

This is my mom except instead of dollar store she goes on one run to Costco or Sam's and gets all our stuff. And my teens DDs do not like velor track suits anymore...maybe when they were seven. Also my mom does a stocking for each of us and we are picky about deodorant and shampoo and such but, again, she buys in bulk on that Costco run so the Secret clear deodorant never gets used... all 3 wasted as the clear gel crap just isn't strong enough for us (especially my softball playing DDs). Last year I specifically told her the exact items we use and still got random crap... told her for years now that the dentist said to use soft toothbrushes yet she always gives us hard because she uses them and buys in bulk at Costco.

I know this is trivial stuff... first world problems and all. But this thread is for griping about this and it's annoying to me (my mom's Xmas shopping). I am very glad to have her still...don't have my dad and would love to have him giving bad gifts if that meant he was still alive. But it still irks me. I asked her for SW gift cards this year for DH and I... just that and nothing else. Told her she can get 5% off at Sam's so hopefully she will get one big GC instead of a small one plus a velor track suit, pjs I don't wear and socks.

Now MIL... wish she would stop buying all the gals the same thing and all the guys the same thing and shop for the individual. One of my DDs is a tomboy and doesn't use all the girly stuff she gets from MIL (jewelry or purses and such). MIL has gotten better and I get that it may be too much to shop for so many and she may need to make it as easy as possible. Thirteen of us in total, aged 12 to 48, seven grandkids in that number. And her and FIL are getting older. So I can't complain. My mom only has seven to shop for...three grandkids only. But she works still and is alone so maybe she needs to make shopping easy too. I understand but it's Just nice to vent.

I think the deodorant and such would be great to donate! I'd call around and see what organizations could use them. That is an awesome way to give back and not hurt your mom's feelings since she clearly isn't going to listen and quit buying it.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

A MIL not wanting her DIL to come over for the holidays & a MIL that buys dollar store items, socks & underwear are two very different situations. There's no comparison in them. It appears Rigs32 has a valid reason to gripe about her MIL. I don't think anyone would say her comments are ungrateful.

I disagree.

 

[NFLDERS]

Dear MIL,
I wish you were still here for me to complain about.

((HUGS))

 

[Mizzoufan]

Dear MIL,

Thank you for being like a 2nd mom and a true friend to me. Thank you for watching the kids on those rare occasions we get to go away for a day or two. Thank you for showing me that not all MILs are bad. BUT, most of all, thank you for not giving me anything else that I can contribute to this thread except gratitiude.

P.S. Now my previous MIL...she was a doozy. Even more reason I'm thankful for the MIL I have now!

I agree.

 

[Mizzoufan]

A MIL not wanting her DIL to come over for the holidays & a MIL that buys dollar store items, socks & underwear are two very different situations. There's no comparison in them. It appears Rigs32 has a valid reason to gripe about her MIL. I don't think anyone would say her comments are ungrateful.

I agree with this 100 percent!!

 

[lovin'fl]

I think the deodorant and such would be great to donate! I'd call around and see what organizations could use them. That is an awesome way to give back and not hurt your mom's feelings since she clearly isn't going to listen and quit buying it.

That is a great idea.

 

[VandVsmama]

I have another fun one!

Dear MIL,
Thank you for being adventurous enough to try out a butternut squash recipe. I hate to say it, but your attempt that 1 time was really quite something! I've never before tasted a soup that tasted & was the same consistency of sweetened condensed milk, but looked like barf in a bowl! Maybe use some salt and pepper to go along with the hot milk & chunky butternut squash thing next time? Your soup made my kids cry. They waited until we were in the car, though, because they didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Maybe next time just stick with a green salad.

Wait...never mind what I just said. Most of the salad dressings in your refrigerator are >5 years old.

By the way, you raised an awesome son. He is a really great guy. But occasionally, I wonder what planet he is from. Like the time when you made Watergate salad and he liked it. OMG, what were the chunky bits in it? And is food really supposed to be that putrid color of green? What is the fascination with making desserts with Cool Whip in them? And marshmallows? Or that weird dish you brought once to a BBQ that had canned peach bits, cottage cheese, and marshmallows? You must admit...my sister was pretty brave for trying Chunky Peach Puke In A Bowl! Life is such an adventure! Thanks for making it fun.

 

[klmall]

I loved my MIL who truly loved me as the daughter she never had; buying me nice sweaters and clothing and remembering my birthdays and special occasions. She wasn't the perfect MIL and at times she loved DH (her only child) far too much for his own good but almost every day I look at our wonderful DS and remember that she never got to meet him. She would have given anything for a chance to see her only grandchild. Yes, she drove us crazy sometimes and pulled DH's heartstrings far too tightly those first years but I miss her every holiday and yes, on Mother's Day too.

 

[OneOftheB's]

Dear MIL please don't ask your newly divorced son and his very young children to come into town the day before your elective foot surgery then expect me to entertain them. My kids have Christmas parties at school that I volunteered to help with back in August.

Also, please stop saying nasty things about your former other DIL in front of the grandkids. Yes, we all realize that she has proven to be a horrible person but I don't want my kids hearing about the stream of men through the house, that she is a drunk or appears to be mentally unstable. Plus you are talking about the mother of some of those grandkids.

 

[North of Mouse]

Wow, I truly feel sorry for some of your MIL's. It's being thoughtful (to her) whether you take it as such, or not! Just donate candy, food items, etc. if you are not going to use it. Don't just throw it straight into the trash! No need for her to know or get her feelings hurt either.
I think that sends a 'very' ungrateful message to your children.

 

[Vijoge]

Dear MIL. Admit it. I won the bet. Please pay me my quarter.

 

[jacksonsmom]

Dear MIL

Thank you for showing me how NOT to be a MIL.
I know you blame me for "breaking the family apart" but it was really you and FIL. Always bringing up DH's ex and how she liked this or that and was a nice girl, always talking about your other grandchildren (yet never asking about DH's and my son and his accomplishments) , remembering their birthdays, etc.
Putting down other races and people that didn't "fit your image" right in front of my young son (at the time)
I could go on, but the final straw was not even acknowledging my son's (your grandson) birthday, not even a phone call or a simple birthday card.....yet you went all out of the other grandchildren. After a while, my son was done with you and I totally support his decision that he doesn't want to visit you or FIL. Why would he, he has been ignored since the day he was born (he is almost 18 now)

Last Christmas DH and I tried, we went and visited you and FIL after a 2 year absent. Sadly, you and FIL hadn't changed and DH and I drove home that day and both agreed it was better not having you guys in our lives.

Sometimes it is better to cut the ties than trying to "play nice" just because you are family.


All those of you that have a MIL and FIL that accepts you and loves your children, that is awesome! I only wish I knew what that was like. Just remember not all of us have In laws like that.

 

[Hrhpd]

An open letter to my DIL who reads here.....

Dear DIL,

Thank you for being such a wonderful woman. You are a great wife, mother and daughter. You are loving, patient, quick to forgive and see the good in everyone. You appreciate things for their meaning an not what they physically are and not always make it about you. I could not have asked better for my son. As I read facebook posts, discussion boards and such, I realize what a treasure you are. There are so many MILs these days that are saddled with entitled, selfish DILs that seem to think everything is about them that I thank my lucky stars that you came into our lives and family. Thank you for choosing our son.

And to my own MIL, oh how I wish I could have just one more Christmas with you. Even with all your idiosyncrasies, you raised the man I have loved for almost 40 years. That has got to count for something.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

All those of you that have a MIL and FIL that accepts you and loves your children, that is awesome! I only wish I knew what that was like. Just remember not all of us have In laws like that.

That's really how I took this thread. It's hard to gather what a relationship is like between in-laws with a post. I think some people are just being honest with how their relationship is with their in-laws however brief of a description they gave. Marrying into a family isn't always roses and sunshine all the time and sometimes it never is really amazing for all sorts of reasons. All power to those who have just the best relationship with their in-laws and all power to those who don't.

 

[Hrhpd]

That's really how I took this thread. It's hard to gather what a relationship is like between in-laws with a post. I think some people are just being honest with how their relationship is with their in-laws however brief of a description they gave. Marrying into a family isn't always roses and sunshine all the time and sometimes it never is really amazing for all sorts of reasons. All power to those who have just the best relationship with their in-laws and all power to those who don't.

There is a huge difference between inlaws ignoring your children and the OP's gripe that her MIL asked her about socks. Griping about the type of presents you get is selfish and entitled, griping about Inlaws that are cruel is justified.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

There is a huge difference between inlaws ignoring your children and the OP's gripe that her MIL asked her about socks. Griping about the type of presents you get is selfish and entitled, griping about Inlaws that are cruel is justified.

I'm really not up for dissecting each and every person's post to see if they are this and that nor do I think we as people on the internet are privy to all the ins and outs of people's relationships with their in-laws that may have spanned years and years. It was a blanket statement. It's fine if you don't agree with it.

 

[ImDMous]

Venting about things that annoy you on an anonymous message board is very different than being a self-centered, entitled b----. It saddens me that some people can't figure that out.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Venting about things that annoy you on an anonymous message board is very different than being a self-centered, entitled b----. It saddens me that some people can't figure that out.

It saddens me that people feel it's okay to say anything they want, just because they can hide behind a phone or computer screen. It also saddens me that my DIL may be complaining behind my back some day, when I'm trying my best to show her love & respect, but I do something that's a petty gripe at most. IME, people show their true colors, when they have anonymity.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I'm really not up for dissecting each and every person's post to see if they are this and that nor do I think we as people on the internet are privy to all the ins and outs of people's relationships with their in-laws that may have spanned years and years. It was a blanket statement. It's fine if you don't agree with it.

I haven't seen anyone dissect anything. From what I've seen, posts have been taken at face value. We can only go by what is typed. Complaining about getting socks, $ store items, etc. is mean. If their MIL also treats them & their kids horribly, the member could feel free to add that. That would be a reason to complain & make the socks, $ store items, etc. just another thing to add to the pile. Some people who have posted here have very valid reasons to take issue with their MIL. I haven't seen one person say those people were being nasty.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

Oh come on!! It's not that serious. I meant it in fun... yes it's a stupid post about socks and underwear. But my mil gets under my skin like you would not believe. Don't turn this into a we should all appreciate everything we have. She loves her grandkids. I'm just not her bestie and that's ok. Why on earth are we turing this into something it's not??? I hate to play the keep scrolling card, but really keep scrolling.