Dear MIL...

[PollyannaMom]

Dear MIL,
Please don't worry that we are all doing a Secret Santa exchange this year, and you are not out there stressing and shopping for all of the grandkids. They love you, we love you, and we all appreciate the wonderful meal you cook for us. That's gift enough! We want Christmas to be more about togetherness than things this year, and it's all going to be fine.

And while I'm writing, thank you for treating me like your own daughter (including calling me when you are worried about something). I miss my mom a lot at Christmas, but it would be way worse if I didn't have you!

 

[Mizzoufan]

Dear God let me get a decent DIL one day.

My prayer every night for my son!

 

[Mizzoufan]

I'm sorry I think it's horrible that some of you are so unkind, why in the world does it matter if a gift cost a 1.00 or a million dollars. If that all someone can afford be thankful they though about you enough to spend that on you.

 

[smiths02]

Dear MIL, Please tell your son know that I am not an evil witch because I want to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in my own home (which is 3-4 hour drive from your house...and you chose to retire to another state, so it's not like DH moved far from where he was born).
In 16 years of celebrating Christmas since we had my own apartment/house...I have only spent 2 Christmas Eves/mornings in my own home. I have 3 children 10 and under.
P.S. Since you only have one child, you are both retired, and you both can still drive, you are welcome to come to our house.
(And my MIL is a lovely lady, love her like my own mother, this is totally's DH's thing...thinking I am dissing his family by wanting our own traditions)

 

[CarolAnn856]

Dear Future DIL,

I know I will probably drive you a little crazy now and again. I'll try very hard not to, but when families join with different traditions, it will happen. If you want to vent about me to your friends, on a message board, to my son, or whomever, please go ahead. We all need to vent once in a while. We're all human. You can love someone even though they get on your nerves sometimes. I would never begrudge you that, as it was/is the same for me and my own MIL and mother. Merry Christmas, or whatever it is you and my son celebrate. Love you both!

Love,
Your Future MIL

 

[ronandannette]

Dear MIL, Please tell your son know that I am not an evil witch because I want to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in my own home (which is 3-4 hour drive from your house...and you chose to retire to another state, so it's not like DH moved far from where he was born).
In 16 years of celebrating Christmas since we had my own apartment/house...I have only spent 2 Christmas Eves/mornings in my own home. I have 3 children 10 and under.
P.S. Since you only have one child, you are both retired, and you both can still drive, you are welcome to come to our house.
(And my MIL is a lovely lady, love her like my own mother, this is totally's DH's thing...thinking I am dissing his family by wanting our own traditions)

No-brainer; the in-laws come to your house. I'll tell your DH myself if you think it will help!?!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Dear MIL,

Please take a Xanax one hour before we arrive for our next visit. If you don't want to do this, please leave one out for me to take as soon as I get there.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Dear Future DIL,

I know I will probably drive you a little crazy now and again. I'll try very hard not to, but when families join with different traditions, it will happen. If you want to vent about me to your friends, on a message board, to my son, or whomever, please go ahead. We all need to vent once in a while. We're all human. You can love someone even though they get on your nerves sometimes. I would never begrudge you that, as it was/is the same for me and my own MIL and mother. Merry Christmas, or whatever it is you and my son celebrate. Love you both!

Love,
Your Future MIL

I don't think you can hide you anger and people not pick up on it.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I don't think you can hide you anger and people not pick up on it.

Huh? Who said anything about anger? Most people have little annoyances that they have about others in their lives. That's normal, and normal people don't let those affect how they treat others.

 

[Greenbmw17]

Dear MIL,
Please actually limit your spending on the kids like you say you will. You are in your 70's and will not be able to work full time (and overtime ) forever. Please focus on your retirement instead . Taking care of yourself is truly a gift to us. And I promise the id's would be completely happy with 1 gift eachh. They are just happy to open something and get to EE their cousins .

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Dear MIL;

Please put your anger aside for one day. I know you hate me, and would love it if your son divorced me, but since you haven't talked to him for 8 years, maybe this year you could manage it.

Oh, and maybe you could talk to your grandson as well. He is a wonderful young man, and you don't know him at all.

Honestly, you can totally dis me. Since you've spent so much time hurting my family, I'm not really interested in talking to you.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm sorry I think it's horrible that some of you are so unkind, why in the world does it matter if a gift cost a 1.00 or a million dollars. If that all someone can afford be thankful they though about you enough to spend that on you.

Wow really? I think its horrible that you are judging people based on a light hearted thread on an anonymous message board. You need to lighten up, no poster here has said anything truly unkind and even if they did its not like they are saying it directly to the face of their MIL. I'm sure if we wanted we could go back through your posts and find some unkind words about people in your life, but that doesn't make you yourself unkind.
And I loved my MIL, she was an amazing person and I miss her every day. I wish she was here so I could "vent" about some of the things she did. She' probably even laugh about them herself.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Dear MIL, Please tell your son know that I am not an evil witch because I want to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in my own home (which is 3-4 hour drive from your house...and you chose to retire to another state, so it's not like DH moved far from where he was born).
In 16 years of celebrating Christmas since we had my own apartment/house...I have only spent 2 Christmas Eves/mornings in my own home. I have 3 children 10 and under.
P.S. Since you only have one child, you are both retired, and you both can still drive, you are welcome to come to our house.
(And my MIL is a lovely lady, love her like my own mother, this is totally's DH's thing...thinking I am dissing his family by wanting our own traditions)

You would like your MIL to tell your son that your not an evil witch.
And, somehow it is totally your DH's thing.
Wrong letter. Wrong person.
Methinks you need to be writing:
Dear Husband....

 

[CdnCarrie]

Dear MIL,
Year after year after YEAR you had those tacky, HUGE things of fake cheese and potted meat and gawd knows what else sent to the house. It literally covered the whole table. I can honestly say I never ate one single thing. My husband, your son, felt guilty and would open a pack of summer sausage and have it on a cracker. The rest got thrown out.

SO you threw out perfectly good food instead of at least giving it away? What is wrong with summer sausage?

 

[Mizzoufan]

Wow really? I think its horrible that you are judging people based on a light hearted thread on an anonymous message board. You need to lighten up, no poster here has said anything truly unkind and even if they did its not like they are saying it directly to the face of their MIL. I'm sure if we wanted we could go back through your posts and find some unkind words about people in your life, but that doesn't make you yourself unkind.
And I loved my MIL, she was an amazing person and I miss her every day. I wish she was here so I could "vent" about some of the things she did. She' probably even laugh about them herself.

I'm just fine. Thank you for your concern. You don't it's rude to throw away a gift just because it's from the dollar store. It's funny to.me you complain that I'm judging but aren't you judging me?

 

[Minnesota!]

Dear MIL,
I wish you were still here for me to complain about.

Yes! My MIL died exactly 3 months after I got married. She was awesome, and we have missed out on so much since ahe left. She would have been one hell of a grandma, and I feel so cheated to not have her.

To all who have frustrations with inlaws, at any time, I am sorry. The holidays make it even more glaring..

 

[lovin'fl]

I do wish my mom would stop buying random "crap" for the kids and stick to the list she asked me to create. She's a fan of dollar store gifts. Multiple dollar store gifts.......

This is my mom except instead of dollar store she goes on one run to Costco or Sam's and gets all our stuff. And my teens DDs do not like velor track suits anymore...maybe when they were seven. Also my mom does a stocking for each of us and we are picky about deodorant and shampoo and such but, again, she buys in bulk on that Costco run so the Secret clear deodorant never gets used... all 3 wasted as the clear gel crap just isn't strong enough for us (especially my softball playing DDs). Last year I specifically told her the exact items we use and still got random crap... told her for years now that the dentist said to use soft toothbrushes yet she always gives us hard because she uses them and buys in bulk at Costco.

I know this is trivial stuff... first world problems and all. But this thread is for griping about this and it's annoying to me (my mom's Xmas shopping). I am very glad to have her still...don't have my dad and would love to have him giving bad gifts if that meant he was still alive. But it still irks me. I asked her for SW gift cards this year for DH and I... just that and nothing else. Told her she can get 5% off at Sam's so hopefully she will get one big GC instead of a small one plus a velor track suit, pjs I don't wear and socks.

Now MIL... wish she would stop buying all the gals the same thing and all the guys the same thing and shop for the individual. One of my DDs is a tomboy and doesn't use all the girly stuff she gets from MIL (jewelry or purses and such). MIL has gotten better and I get that it may be too much to shop for so many and she may need to make it as easy as possible. Thirteen of us in total, aged 12 to 48, seven grandkids in that number. And her and FIL are getting older. So I can't complain. My mom only has seven to shop for...three grandkids only. But she works still and is alone so maybe she needs to make shopping easy too. I understand but it's Just nice to vent.

 

[CdnCarrie]

[QUOTE="bbak30, post: 56847519, member: 276469
I do wish my mom would stop buying random "crap" for the kids and stick to the list she asked me to create. She's a fan of dollar store gifts. Multiple dollar store gifts.......

This is my mom except instead of dollar store she goes on one run to Costco or Sam's and gets all our stuff. And my teens DDs do not like valor track suits anymore...maybe when they were seven. Also my mom does a stocking for each of us and we are picky about deodorant and shampoo and such but, again, she buys in bulk on that Costco run so the Secret clear deodorant never gets used... all 3 wasted as he clear gel crap just isn't strong enough for us (especially my softball playing DDs). Last year I specifically told her the exact its we use and still got random crap... told her for years now that the dentist said to use soft toothbrushes yet she always gives us hard because she uses them and buys in bulk at Costco.

I know this is trivial stuff... first world problems and all. But this thread is for griping about this and it's annoying to me (my mom's Xmas shopping). I am very glad to have her still...don't have my dad ad would love to have him giving unusable gifts if that meant he was still alive.[/QUOTE]

Just let it go and donate it to a woman's shelter.

 

[smiths02]

You would like your MIL to tell your son that your not an evil witch.
And, somehow it is totally your DH's thing.
Wrong letter. Wrong person.
Methinks you need to be writing:
Dear Husband....

Already tried that, but if my ILs would come to our house for Christmas (or any holiday, they do come on many other occasions), then the burden for us to go up there on Christmas (and generally Thanksgiving, Easter, and a smattering of lesser holidays) would be greatly reduced. Or if they would move closer to us, that would be great. They raised my DH in the general Atlanta area (where we still live) and then retired to North Carolina.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

Dear MIL/FIL,

It will be another Christmas were you will send my children nothing or something from the dollar store and then complain to your son that you do it because you know you can't compete with my parents. Newsflash: My parents aren't competing with any one. They just give a ::: non-DIS appropriate word::: about their grandchildren. Don't get me started on you not visiting your grandchildren or son and making us do all traveling. 13 years and you can't visit my house. @@