DD's BF committed suicide last night, Memorial Service UPDATE #190

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Just wanted to add a few more hugs for you and your DD.

 

[N&B'smom]

I've been following this thread and thinking of you all. I'm so sorry that you're all going through all of this. Suicide is a very scary thing. It's heartbreaking for all of those left behind.

The fact that he chose to end his life at such a young age with his whole life ahead of him is just a shame. He was obviously a very unstable young man. The story of him keeping tabs on your daughter, that is definitely a major red flag. Your daughter showed what a smart young woman she is by ending a relationship with someone who was not at all good for her. I thank God that she did what she did before his problems played out in a whole other way.

I pray that she and all of those that loved this boy will be able to find some sort of peace with this. I also hope that the parents of the boy will realize that your daughter was not at all the reason he chose death, HE is the reason.

I'll continue to think of you all and pray that your DD is able to heal quickly.

Shelby

 

[kmp1191]

Your family, and the boys family are all in my prayers.

 

[jenwolgey]

Prayers said. I'm so sorry!

 

[cruiserkaren]

Follow your instincts.

Continued prayers.

 

[AKpooh]

prayers and thoughts for both families!

 

[N&B'smom]

I hope if you're all going to the service tomorrow that things go as well as possible. We'll all be thinking of you!!!

Shelby

 

[Steamboat Marti]

If you decide to go to the service tomorrow, know that you are not going alone. You have all of our support with you to help you through. Good luck and here's an extra

 

["Got Disney"]

It's been a long time since I broke up with anybody, but I can tell you that I never had "closure" from the break-up less than a week afterwards. Even when I was the one doing the breaking up.

It was her choice and the right decision IMO, but breaking up with someone is far more complicated and emotional than your post suggests. She went out with him for over a year ... that's a long time in the life of a 17-year old woman. She just can't turn her emotions off like a spigot. I am sure that she still cared for him even after she broke up with him and is grieving herself. Not a "guilty" grief, but a genuine heart wrenching loss. She does indeed need to mourn and have closure. I am glad that the mother of the BF invited her to the services and I would suggest that the OP and the DD go to them together.

I agree



Hope your daughter and you decide to go. Sure that you have sat down with her and talked with her about this. She is lucky that he decided not to take her along with him, and sure that that crossed your mind and the mind of his mother Such a tragic loss...

hugs and prayers to both your family's.

 

[Muffy]

If you decide to go to the service tomorrow, know that you are not going alone. You have all of our support with you to help you through. Good luck and here's an extra

I just wanted to update all of you that we did go to the memorial service today. It was terribly sad. The boy was very well liked and had a huge turnout. I know I have mentioned how scared I was of this memorial service but it was the best possible outcome. The parents opened their hearts to DD and told her how much their son loved her. It was so sad to watch them with her. We cried with them and they know exactly how much we all loved their dear son. I will never understand how he could do it. I just pray that his family finds peace.

Thank you all so much for your support during this difficult time. You have all helped more than you know.

 

[wils]

Just sending you and your DD a big

I'm sorry you've had to go through this

 

[tchrrx]

Just wanted to let you know that I've kept your family in my thoughts & prayers this week.

 

[tinker&belle]

I have unfortunately experienced a suicide by immediate family member. As far as his poor mother goes, she cannot be thinking rationally. This is her baby, she carried in her body and raised from a child. She probably is saying things she wouldn't under normal circumstance. It is an unreal experience to lose someone this way and EVERYONE felt guilt from this. (From our close family to family not as close (like "I should have called him more) to people we never would have expected. My heart grieves for everyone. Please let your daughter go. She will have feelings of guilt (she can look for support groups for "survivors of suicide"-a survivor is someone left by a suicide, not a failed attempt.) The mother may need this too. When my brother killed himself, my mother and I could barely function...just give everyone time.

 

[Disney Doll]

So glad it was a comforting experience for all.

 

[LisaNJ25]

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm glad the service went as well as could be expected that that they were kind to your daughter. That will stay with her forever and will hopefully help her in her heeling. Such a tragic situation--a permanent solution to a temporary problem. How very sad. to you all.

 

[DawnCt1]

I am relieved that it went as well as it did. Hugs to all of you.

 

[Joanna71985]

I just wanted to update all of you that we did go to the memorial service today. It was terribly sad. The boy was very well liked and had a huge turnout. I know I have mentioned how scared I was of this memorial service but it was the best possible outcome. The parents opened their hearts to DD and told her how much their son loved her. It was so sad to watch them with her. We cried with them and they know exactly how much we all loved their dear son. I will never understand how he could do it. I just pray that his family finds peace.

Thank you all so much for your support during this difficult time. You have all helped more than you know.

Just sending hugs and prayers to you and your DD.

 

[Buckalew11]

Muffy I am glad that you went and the service went as well as expected. The mom was in shock and hurting and probably needed to blame someone, anyone. She needed asome time to rethink all of what has happened in her son's life and has gotten a clearer head about it all. It is a shame your DD had to endure her feelings of fault and hopefully the mom really has expressed that she knows your DD is not responsible for his actions in any way shape or form.

Keep her talking and keep hugging her. She has rough days ahead.

 

["Got Disney"]

Im glad that you decided to go and that it all turned out as well as could be expected. How is your daughter doing and taking it? be sure to keep an eye on her. She may say she is okay(so not to worry you) but in fact may not be. She has to be feeling some kind of responsibility even though it's not hers to bear!

I send you many hugs and blessings......