DD is strugging in school and I don't know what to do

[lovetoscrap]

This is NOT a teacher vent. I think her teacher is great. It is the district and state requirements that are a problem.

DD9 is in 4th grade. She is not a whiz student. She doesn't get things quickly. She tries very hard, loves school, loves learning, wants to do well and works her tail off to do her best.

But this year is just killing her. She has been having stomach problems for several weeks and we have had tests done, but I really think that she is just stressed over school. She had a meltdown this morning, which isn't like her.

Information is being introduced quickly and then they are tested on it. Social Studies is the worst so far. They get a whole lot of new stuff told to them for 2 or 3 days, then they have the Test. She just can't learn it that fast. She needs lots of review and to have the information presented multiple times. We review at home, but with only 2 or 3 days to study it just isn't enough for her. She has failed every test. They have now added Science and it is being presented the same way. She has the test on Thursday and it looks like it won't go well either.

Our district has very strict guidelines the teachers have to follow and a schedule for testing. The state test on the Social Studies information is at the end of this year and at this rate she willl be failing that!

This is really killing her love of school and of learning. I have homeschooled before and at this point I am ready to pull her out. But somehow that doesn't seem to be the right solution either. I am going to have a conference with her teacher, but I am just not sure what she can do either. Her hands are tied by the schedule she has to follow. If this was reading or even math they have specialists for those that she could pull out help for. But for Social Studies and Science there is no extra help. She is going to be so upset by a D or F on her report card. It doesn't upset me but she has been so sad about her test grades.

I don't know what to do to either help her adjust her expectations or make this easier on her. It is killing me to see her work so hard and get so frustrated and upset.

 

[golfgal]

If the majority of the kids in the class are able to keep up and she is one of the few that can't I would consider testing for any possible learning disabilities. If the majority of the class is having a hard time keeping up then it needs to be addressed at the school board level that they are pushing the kids too hard, they can't keep up and it is only going to HURT their test scores in the long run. The first step is right, talk to the teacher.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I've got nothing to offer in the way of advice, just wanted to send a and your way.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

4th grade is the yr that they are getting real homework and it is stressful for kids, even the kids that do well.

For starters, do you have access to tutoring in the school? Start micromanaging her classes and get close with the teacher to keep daily progress. Work together with the teacher.

Secondly when a kid is failing it compounds and they will continue to do poorly because they are anxious because they are failing. It becomes a vicious cycle.

So try working with the teacher and celebrating her successes.

I would not say..."it is OK" that you have a "D" or an "F" that will probably make her feel worse. Instead say things like, we are going to figure this out together and you are going to do better.

When you become involved and the teacher gets involved it will alleviate some of the anxiety because you will be working on solving the problem.

Can you tell I have done this more than once?

 

[K and K's Mommy]

Yikes! I taught for 7 years before I stayed home, but I am not sure how to help you. I know the teacher's hands are tied, but this method sounds terrible for fourth graders. They need hands-on and to be involved.

In fourth grade our state teaches Indiana history. Last year my son's class made salt dough maps of the land forms, painted the regions and big cities, etc. I can't imagine being told the geography of Indiana and then taking a test two days later. When they studied homesteading (I think that is the word. I never taught IN history!) they became homesteaders. They did have written tests, but they did so much stuff before the test.

In science they did experiments and discussions before the test.

I know I am not giving you any concrete help! Perhaps find out the curriculum and see if there are any field trips that relate. Any prior knowledge she has will help her connect.

How's her reading comprehension? This is big in fourth grade when reading nonfiction is so important in science and social studies. Have her read a paragraph and tell you in her own words what is happening. Even if she is good at fiction, some kids struggle with nonfiction. Keep practicing. If she is reading way over her level, it is not going to help. She should be reading so she is slightly challenged, but it is not too hard. Otherwise there is not going to be comprehension. If that is the case with science and social studies, you may need to read it to her so she can comprehend.

Good luck!!

 

[TwinsinCA]

Are they working from a textbook/workbook in either Social Studies or Science? Can she bring it home on the weekends so you can get a head start on things for the week?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Here is my non professional opinion. I think your dd has a reading comprehension problem. Social Studies is a lot of reading. There may be some hands on stuff but it is mostly facts that need to be understood and memorized. The same goes for Science. Your DD may be able to read but does she understand what she is reading? I think that would be the first thing I looked into. Maybe the reading teacher can help her to have better comprehension skills. Also, when she is presented with new work, when she comes home have her make index cards with the facts on them. They are easy to study from and she can go over them as much as she needs to to get the information to sink in. Good luck.

 

[DisneyBabies]

I unfortunately have no real advice to offer you or your DD, just . We are going through a problem with DS's kindergarten testing and the fact that he apparently failed big time so I'm not really in a position to tell you how to make this better for your DD.

I did want to say though that maybe you could start by getting your DD some help to manage the stress when she starts to get frustrated. Have her take deep breaths when she starts to feel the weight of the history and science starting to press down on her. I've never taken a stress management class, but maybe there are some things they teach in those that may help your DD.

 

[hoosll]

Everyone has a learning style and it should be incumbent on the teacher to teach to hearing/visual/experiential learners equally. Both of my children had learning disabilities on top of one being a visual learner and the other was an experiential learner. For myself to memorize facts I had to both write them down (see them and process writing them AND speak them aloud). In the end I never did well in school until I got to college and classes with a broader scope than facts ....

Since my daughter was a visual learner we had to make sure that the teacher wrote things on the board or provided outlines or notes to accompany the reading material ... We needed to make sure that she was at the front of the class where she was not visually distracted by other children in the class. Also, it was important that we have her eyes tested to make sure that she could read books and the board easily. We found that because she was visual, she had never really understood that numbers represented "units"; she thought they were just like letters. After a couple of weeks of homeschooling with numbered blocks, it clicked with her and she never had a problem with math again.

My son was an experiential learner which meant that he took longer to process information and relate it to the other things he knew and had already experienced... new subjects or topics were hard of him until he could place them into a larger framework ... he had a terrible time responding in class when the teacher would just quickly and randomly call on the kids for an answer and he stayed so tense through the class for fear he would be called on. I had to ask the teacher to balance participation by also allowing the kids to raise their hands and be called on ... it really raised my son's confidence that he could participate when he knew the answer and get positive reinforcement from the teacher ... his stress level in classes was reduced ... he was also my kid who would do his homework and then not hand it in because he didn't want the teacher to see it, grade it and give it back ... he couldn't stand that it wasn't perfect and hated giving any control to the teacher. We struggled with him in school until college, too, where he blossomed ....

Bottom line: you need to understand how your child learns, if you are not sure you can get her tested. Also, 4th grade requires a ton of reading, has she been tested for dyslexia? Then you will be better able to help her at home perhaps by reading the text book aloud, writing down notes, flash cards, etc. and help her teacher to modify her teaching style to lift your child. Also, have her eyes and hearing tested to make sure that she is able to maximize the information she is receiving. Schools need to make an accommodation for children with with learning disabilities including taking test orally, or in a quiet room without distractions, etc.

 

[Christine]

4th grade was the year that my DD fell apart, and it was in Virginia history. Yep, she also failed her Standards of Learning (SOL) for that year. She wasn't the only one but most of the kids were doing okay. We did have her evaluated. She does have mild ADHD and some "processing" issues. I agree with the previous poster that there are probably some reading comprehension issues. History is mostly learning names, places, dates. Reading, comprehending, memorization. If she has deficits with this, it is a real problem.

I have no great ideas. You actually might look for a learning "coach" versus a tutor. Someone to help her find ways to get through this. For me, I was able to ace history because I had a teacher who made all of us write down every word she said in the class. Something about listening, then writing, helped to make it "go" into the brain. But I was older than that and I'm not sure a 4th grader is up to massive note-taking!

What you do need to realize is that you are probably seeing an issue that is going to plague your daughter throughout school in certain types of classes. I can say that with the old hindsight!!!

 

[lovetoscrap]

If the majority of the kids in the class are able to keep up and she is one of the few that can't I would consider testing for any possible learning disabilities. If the majority of the class is having a hard time keeping up then it needs to be addressed at the school board level that they are pushing the kids too hard, they can't keep up and it is only going to HURT their test scores in the long run. The first step is right, talk to the teacher.

I have no idea how the rest of the class is doing. They certainly aren't slowing down if others need help too. Her teacher is very experienced and seems to be doing a great job.

In fourth grade our state teaches Indiana history. Last year my son's class made salt dough maps of the land forms, painted the regions and big cities, etc. I can't imagine being told the geography of Indiana and then taking a test two days later. When they studied homesteading (I think that is the word. I never taught IN history!) they became homesteaders. They did have written tests, but they did so much stuff before the test.

In science they did experiments and discussions before the test.

State history is what they are doing here also. But there is no time for anything hands on-- Too much information they have to know in time for the state test in the Spring. And the district requires an test grade assessment every X number of days in each subject ( I am not sure what the actual number of days is). All the grades are getting slammed with the number of tests--DD13 is in 8th and is an excellent student and even she is overwhelmed by the amount of testing.

But same thing-- had to learn the 5 regions of the state, all the major products and industries of each region, major cities. They had a map they colored. The information was presented over 4 days and then TEST. Yep, she got an F. Today's test is over 3 Indian Language groups, which regions they lived in, what they ate based on the season, home type, and a few other things even I can't remember! They got the information on Monday. Test is TODAY.

Are they working from a textbook/workbook in either Social Studies or Science? Can she bring it home on the weekends so you can get a head start on things for the week?

No text. It is all just worksheet stuff made by the teachers. I will see if I can get it in advance. I also have just printed out the State requirements so I can work from that some.

Here is my non professional opinion. I think your dd has a reading comprehension problem. Social Studies is a lot of reading. There may be some hands on stuff but it is mostly facts that need to be understood and memorized. The same goes for Science. Your DD may be able to read but does she understand what she is reading? I think that would be the first thing I looked into. . Also, when she is presented with new work, when she comes home have her make index cards with the facts on them. They are easy to study from and she can go over them as much as she needs to to get the information to sink in. Good luck.

They say her reading comprehension is excellent? They test them in that dozens of time a year with the AR program and several other tests they do. Supposedly she is way above grade level. She understands the information she just can't remember it.

She has never been able to memorize though. She is just really slow at learning "facts". If she sees it, hears it, reads it, works with it long enough it will sink in. But a few days is just not enough. The teacher uses mnemonics and other little tricks to try to help them. DD remembers the mnemonic but not which fact it goes with!