DBF not supporting my Disney plans.....

[zscfan]

DBF and I have been together for 3 years and the past two Septembers we have gone to WDW. We booked a bounceback in Sept. 2009 for Sept. 2010. But around Christmas, we decided to take a cruise to Alaska in May, which we did end up doing.

However, I still want to go to WDW in Sept. DBF told me that he doesn't have the money, so I offered to pay for it. I am saving like crazy and working extra shifts/overtime at work to pay for the trip. He hasn't said that we wouldn't go, but I sense a lot of resistance (hope I spelled that right) from him. He also thinks I should save that money for a wedding, but I would rather have an "economy wedding" than give up my WDW.

Is he right? Am I spending too much money on travel?

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

Maybe you could shorten your trip? Or if you are at a Mod or Deluxe go down to a value?
If you are renting a car use DME?

Aka is there anything you could downsize in order to save a bit of money?

Im doing a disney trip and wedding so i sympathize but I scaled down our trip a bit to have more wedding money.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I understand the Disney fever, but if you are serious in your relationship and he is saying save for a wedding and the starting of your life together, I side with him. Disney will always be there, and you can save more for a "Disneymoon".

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[mrsksomeday]

I understand the Disney fever, but if you are serious in your relationship and he is saying save for a wedding and the starting of your life together, I side with him. Disney will always be there, and you can save more for a "Disneymoon".

I completely agree with this.

DBF is being financially responsible. You already had a cruise this year, just think of all the money you could save by skipping WDW this year. He might not be as Disney crazy as you are and want to branch out to other places too.

When is the wedding? What do you consider an "economy wedding"? It is his wedding too, it is time to sit down and discuss your future, get your budget in order for your wedding and your household, then talk about whether WDW is possible.

Good luck.

 

[MarilIncredible]

Is he as big into Disney as you are? Maybe part of his reluctance is financial, and part is simply not wanting to go back again for the third year in a row.

 

[dimimi]

I completely agree with this.

DBF is being financially responsible. You already had a cruise this year, just think of all the money you could save by skipping WDW this year. He might not be as Disney crazy as you are and want to branch out to other places too.

When is the wedding? What do you consider an "economy wedding"? It is his wedding too, it is time to sit down and discuss your future, get your budget in order for your wedding and your household, then talk about whether WDW is possible.

Good luck.

I agree.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Is he as big into Disney as you are? Maybe part of his reluctance is financial, and part is simply not wanting to go back again for the third year in a row.

I agree with this and the others. Are you more serious about Disney or your wedding? He may be feeling that there is a conflict. Not everyone wants to do disney every year, and as a partner part of the deal is respecting one another.

 

[Glenn]

Sorry but if you have to work overtime like czy to go to WDW it sounds like youre over doing it & dont have much in reserves. Sit down with him before you get married to work stuff like this out. Finances are one of the largest reasons for a breakup. If you need a fix think could you change your dates to later in the yr to spread things out, do you over do things like charater meals & can scale back, use ME, slow things down to enjoy each other. If its still a stretch is going to Disneyland for a long weekend a much cheaper way to get a Disney fix. Good luck, sounds like he's thinking more of the finances than not liking WDW.

 

[RitaE]

#1. He's smart enough to realize he can't afford it and then say "No, I won't do it because I can't afford it."

and then

#2. He is resistant to just sitting back and mooching off of you and watching you work your tail off to give him a vacation.

Honey, he's a keeper. Skip Disney and help him save for the wedding.

 

[okeydokey]

Maybe three years in a row is too much and he just doesn't want to go. It's not everyone's obsession.

 

[reagan75]

You called him your DBF not fiancee. Are you engaged yet? Is the wedding next year or 5 years down the road. There is a lot to consider.

 

[eliza61]

DBF and I have been together for 3 years and the past two Septembers we have gone to WDW. We booked a bounceback in Sept. 2009 for Sept. 2010. But around Christmas, we decided to take a cruise to Alaska in May, which we did end up doing.

However, I still want to go to WDW in Sept. DBF told me that he doesn't have the money, so I offered to pay for it. I am saving like crazy and working extra shifts/overtime at work to pay for the trip. He hasn't said that we wouldn't go, but I sense a lot of resistance (hope I spelled that right) from him. He also thinks I should save that money for a wedding, but I would rather have an "economy wedding" than give up my WDW.

Is he right? Am I spending too much money on travel?

As crazy as I am for the mouse, I'm going to have to go with the BF on this one.
It's not like you guys haven't had some really nice vacations, 1 trip to the world and an Alaskian cruise is definitely nice vacations.

Now as RitaE very nicely put it, you've got a BF who is mature enough to be honest with you about his finances and mature enough to realize that you are starting to make decisions as a couple. Girlfriend, those are good traits.

And lastly,
I don't really like trying to "convince" people to do things they really don't want to do. I hate post where people (usually the wives) are trying to badger others (i.e husbands) into going to WDW using excuses like "the kids are only one little once? (yeah, that's a great reason to go into debt). If you're fiancee is having reservations, that's a problem. No one likes to feel like they are being "forced" to do some thing against their better judgement.

 

[ceecee]

If you're working overtime to save for the trip, I agree with your DBF. Save for the wedding and honeymoon, house, etc. the list is endless!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Just get married at WDW while you're there The escape weddings are really nice and not that expensive! (I had one myself)

Sorry to your DBF if I gave you ideas

 

[disneyfans95]

Sounds like you are pushing him to do a vacation he does not want.

Remember going every year, for years in a row is not for everyone. There is nothing wrong with taking a year off.

I can't comment on if you are traveling too much because we don't know (or need to ) your income and what debt you might have.

You can look at that and make the decision.

I would give him some space though.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

But from San Pedro, which seems to be where you live, to Disneyland is only about 35 miles. Just do more visits there for a while.

 

[hffmnheidi]

You can always go by yourself or with a family member if he doesn't want to go-might be an alternative to forcing someone to go who doesn't want to go. If he's worried about money-maybe a long weekend trip would be better, even if you go by yourself?

I have to object to the "we wouldn't go"-I think that's insulting. You are together, yes, but not married. I wouldn't let someone else make my financial decisions for me-boyfriend, husband, or other family member. I think it's your money, you work for it, so spend it how you want after the bills are paid.

BUT...I think the two of you need to have a serious discusion about finances, debt, and your expectations(vacations, wedding, life, ect...). The two of you may have very different expectations about your lives together.

If you want to vacation at Disney every year-set up a separate savings account in your name and put money away each paycheck, so it's there. Set up a separate savings account for your wedding(if you're getting married) and save out of each paycheck. That way, you know what you have in each account and how much you have to spend. Write down a budget together and stick to the plan.

You could always check out websites about budget weddings-just because they are cheap doesn't mean that they're tacky. Maybe that's what he's worried about and is he saving money out of his paychecks for this wedding also? That's what the two of you need to sit down and talk about NOW.

I certainly hope it works out for you and let us know how things turn out. Good luck.

 

[DisneyNutMic]

Just one little word of advice too, you need to consider his feelings when offering to pay too. My fiance and I have had this discussion in the past. Part of my financial responsibility in our life is paying for the "fun" times. By that I mean, I save for vacations and weekend getaways and concerts and race tickets. But even though we have designated this as one of my responsibilities in the relationship, he says that he still feels bad and feels like I am paying for everything. Just something to think about.

 

[Disneyrsh]

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