Daycare issue (video games)

[LilyWDW]

My 19 year old has always been a huge gamer. And he's doing just fine...... just completed his first year of engineering school. In fact, the games were a great bonding tool his first year away from home. Yet he still found time to study and get good grades.

I have played video games since I was a kid. Which means the original Nintendo, but still. I was a Mario kid dang it!

I still game. I have an MBA and work a full time job. Gaming never gets in my way when it comes to work, spending time with people, or having relationships. I think many people still picture the kid that never leaves mom's basement when this is far from the truth of the gaming community. Most of the gamers I know are in school, working, volunteering, have relationships, and spend time with friends and family. You wouldn't recognize us on the street unless it was our day off and we were wearing a T-shirt with the name of our favorite game on it.

 

[mom2rtk]

I have played video games since I was a kid. Which means the original Nintendo, but still. I was a Mario kid dang it!

I still game. I have an MBA and work a full time job. Gaming never gets in my way when it comes to work, spending time with people, or having relationships. I think many people still picture the kid that never leaves mom's basement when this is far from the truth of the gaming community. Most of the gamers I know are in school, working, volunteering, have relationships, and spend time with friends and family. You wouldn't recognize us on the street unless it was our day off and we were wearing a T-shirt with the name of our favorite game on it.

DS is going through a real retro gaming phase. Got an NES system and a bunch of old games for Christmas. But he also loves the new stuff. He's really been enjoying Mario Kart 8 this summer.

I think back to the overnights and birthday parties he had as a small child and I just can't imagine them happening without video games.

I also remember my brother claiming his son (who was younger than ours) would never have a game system. Yeah, right. Wanna guess how long that lasted?

OP, you are indeed a responsible parent to be concerned about allowing the right amount of screen time. But as long as they are also playing outside and doing other things, I wouldn't worry about it. Video games are a HUGE piece of the landscape in a boy's life these days.

Too bad my son has no interest in medical school. I always told him that with all that finger dexterity he'd make one heck of a laparoscopic surgeon.

 

[EMode]

That wouldn't bother me at all, especially because its summer and during free time.
My kids are older and we pretty much lift the screen time restrictions in the summer. My 2 older ones are big gamers, and since one is thinking of designing video games for a living and the other is thinking of programming I don't really mind

 

[smitch425]

I have played video games since I was a kid. Which means the original Nintendo, but still. I was a Mario kid dang it!

I still game. I have an MBA and work a full time job. Gaming never gets in my way when it comes to work, spending time with people, or having relationships. I think many people still picture the kid that never leaves mom's basement when this is far from the truth of the gaming community. Most of the gamers I know are in school, working, volunteering, have relationships, and spend time with friends and family. You wouldn't recognize us on the street unless it was our day off and we were wearing a T-shirt with the name of our favorite game on it.

Big gamer here, too, and I have about 10 Nintendo/Mario shirts.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think it will be fine and can even be beneficial. Even with having their own systems, they are going to be talking about the games, helping each other get through levels, and sharing systems. A few things to consider: Do some of the other kids have Leapsters or do most have DS? Just be aware if he is the only one with the "baby game", he is not going to be happy long so decide on your response early and be ready. Around here, most kids make that switch by kindergarten.
Even if you are totally thrilled with your daycare, it's perfectly fine to ask questions and to clarify policy. Im a director and I always tell parents to TALK to me. You are very right to ask how long they are allowed to play on the games?, if there is any restrictions on games they can play at the center? (rated E or T or M), who is responsible for making sure the games stay safe, and what is the policy on sharing? I think asking the center to not allow the games is way over the top, but being aware of the policy is a need and right. Some centers will allow the order kids to use the games, without volume at rest time when they have outgrown naps.

 

[Coonhound]

I think it's very wrong because you send your child there to interact with others and you of course want active play. I wouldn't be ok with this at all.
But what previous posters said is true..all while your child is in school they will be exposed to things you don't agree with- books you don't think are appropriate, movies shown that you didn't want your child to see. Etc..so this is just the first in a long line of those.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

It would bother me, but my kids didn't get a DS until they were 8. We did have a Leap Pad, and I think they have some good games. If your child is doing an hour at day care, I wouldn't do much more screen time at home.

However, for the most part, I do not think screen time is good for kids. They should be playing, using their imagination, digging in dirt, listening to stories, even "reading" books on their own. There is some research out now that suggests one of the reasons kids can't sit still and focus is because they don't run, jump, and play enough.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm just surprised that the teachers would want to be responsible for a bunch of expensive electronic devices. In my class, we have a very strict "no toys from home" rule. We have plenty of age-appropriate toys that the kids can use under our guidelines of sharing and turn-taking. If a toy gets lost or broken, it's not a huge disaster. We have a hard enough time keeping backpacks, lunchboxes, jackets, hats, etc. straight. I could just see electronics being dropped, grabbed, or inadvertently going home in the wrong backpack. Sounds like a nightmare for the classroom staff!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Just say "no". What if he loses it? That's reason enough for me.

 

[Coonhound]

Just say "no". What if he loses it? That's reason enough for me.

I agree. In fact, it's good for a child to learn at an early age that sometimes mom and dad won't let you do what everyone else is doing. The whole "if everyone else was jumping off a cliff..." Better now than later I guess.

 

[LilyWDW]

It would bother me, but my kids didn't get a DS until they were 8. We did have a Leap Pad, and I think they have some good games. If your child is doing an hour at day care, I wouldn't do much more screen time at home.

However, for the most part, I do not think screen time is good for kids. They should be playing, using their imagination, digging in dirt, listening to stories, even "reading" books on their own. There is some research out now that suggests one of the reasons kids can't sit still and focus is because they don't run, jump, and play enough.

Or, you know, they could do both. I don't know why it has to be one or another. That to me is a bigger deal then letting them have some of both. Even as a kid I would go out, ride my bike, run, dig in the dirt... all of those things. Yet I still played video games. Games were my "down" time. That and reading and I can guarantee that I sat around and read WAY more often.

But I guess the idea that you can have a bit of both doesn't work....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you are not comfortable sending the LeapPad, perhaps you can find something else he can bring?

For me the issue would be that the electronic toys are expensive and I would not want them at school for that reason.

I would shop for something that is less expensive and fun for him for "downtime play".

 

[sunshinehighway]

Then find a teenager to pay and watch the kid. I doubt it'll be as easy and cheap to find someone to watch a kid for a full day without any type of down time as you think it is.

 

[mom2rtk]

I agree. In fact, it's good for a child to learn at an early age that sometimes mom and dad won't let you do what everyone else is doing. The whole "if everyone else was jumping off a cliff..." Better now than later I guess.

I didn't suggest letting him do it because "everyone else is doing it". I suggested going along because if everyone else is doing it, there won't be anyone LEFT to play WITH.

 

[Coonhound]

I didn't suggest letting him do it because "everyone else is doing it". I suggested going along because if everyone else is doing it, there won't be anyone LEFT to play WITH.

No I Understand. That's why I don't like it, if you choose to not go along with it because you want him to interact with other kids, but then all the other kids are on their devices, well..who is he supposed to play with...it just is a sucky situation all around. You send him there to interact with other kids. Free play time is the perfect time for the kids to interact with each other and do imaginative play

 

[mom2rtk]

No I Understand. That's why I don't like it, if you choose to not go along with it because you want him to interact with other kids, but then all the other kids are on their devices, well..who is he supposed to play with...it just is a sucky situation all around. You send him there to interact with other kids. Free play time is the perfect time for the kids to interact with each other and do imaginative play

It's the sort of compromise you have to make sometimes when you send your child to a daycare setting like that. If the OP doesn't like it, she could find another location, but that would likely have a more detrimental effect on the child than just letting him take a game to play. That said, I'd probably buy a second hand older system to send so if it's lost or broken it's no big deal.

 

[grafxgirl]

I help run a summer camp program for ages 5-12 at our preschool during the months of June, July and August. We have two pool days a week, one major field trip a week, and one day a week we alternate between the library or visitng the local senior center. Finally, one day a week is our in-house day where we stay at the center. This is the day we call "technology day" and allow the kids to bring in whatever device they choose. We allow them time during morning arrival time, a little time before lunch, then time in the afternoon. We rotate them through different activities all day long that involve games, arts and crafts, Bible study, dance, sports, science, etc.

My 7 and 10 year old attend the camp. You should see all the kids on technology day! It is really amazing watching them interact with one another, trade gaming systems, teach each other how to use the things, and the activities they come up with. Yesterday several of the kids got together and made these cute short videos and magic tricks using different toys and items from around the classroom. They even got together as a big group and created their own video while singing to "Let it Go!" They showed the Director of our preschool and she loved them. They really can be quite creative.

 

[Mom_Rides]

DD goes to a summer camp at a dayschool. The school aged children (entering first grade to age 12) are permitted to bring their electronics for the "extended day" portion of the day (before 9am and after 3pm) as well as Thursdays and Fridays in which they get classroom time for electronics (computers are only "open" on those days and a movie plays in the classroom.

I have no issue with the set up at all. If they were utilizing electronics as a babysitter on my dime, I would be unhappy. Perhaps inquire with the teacher how long and for what period they are permitted to use their games. Maybe they allow use so they can set up for lunch or as they change activities? And maybe you can compromise with your child for only 2 or 3 days allowed so that he gets some activity by choosing another activity.

 

[smitch425]

No I Understand. That's why I don't like it, if you choose to not go along with it because you want him to interact with other kids, but then all the other kids are on their devices, well..who is he supposed to play with...it just is a sucky situation all around. You send him there to interact with other kids. Free play time is the perfect time for the kids to interact with each other and do imaginative play

I am not familiar with the OP's game system, but there are MANY games for the DS that involve using your imagination. My kids have a ton of games that require problem solving and critical thinking. Our kids have unlimited screen time, have never gotten anything less than straight As (just finished 3rd and 5th grade), are very active (just tested for their senior brown belt in tae kwon do tonight), and have great social lives. The thought that an hour out of a typical child's summer day to play some games is somehow detrimental to his well-being is a bit overcautious.

I can't say that I would let my kids take their game cases to school with them (they have well over 100 DS and 3DS games between the two of them), but the system and a game or two wouldn't even phase me as far as being worried about something getting lost (their iPads would NOT go, though). It all comes down to personal preference, and the child's personality as to what they can handle and what they can't. Definitely different for each child, so you just have to figure out what works best for your own situation. There is no reason that more questions cannot be asked or that OP can't tell her child no. she simply needs to do what feels right for her and her son.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

I would say out of everything the letter from the daycare stating it would be okay to bring game systems would strike me as odd.

Most day-cares around here have a no games policy.

Things get lost, broken, misplaced, swapped. Kids "trade" things, parents find out and are un-happy.

Even "responsible" kids lose things, etc.