Dave Ramsey as a Wedding Gift??? Not to sure about that?

[horseshowmom]

I think there are some people who would like the gift and some that would be offended. Just the fact that I would have no way of knowing for sure (she said she didn't know the bride well) would be enough reason for me NOT to select this as a gift item (even though I think it would be a good start for most newlyweds).

 

[JB2K]

People need to remember, even though Dave Ramsey tossed-in his program as his own personal gift to the couple, it's the selling of these programs (via his radio show) that provides Mr. Ramsey's "bread and butter".

That said, I still prefer Clark Howard's approach, as his advice is generally to prevent consumers from being ripped-off.

And, yes, if someone gave me a monetary gift with strings attached, I would have to say "thanks, but no thanks".

 

[Gigi22]

OP, I gave my DNiece and her husband (now soon to be XH) $1000 for their wedding. DNiece's mom called me about a year and a half later with the news of their divorce, to ask if I wanted the wedding present back. My reply was to suggest that DNiece use the cash towards her living expenses/divorce.
You never can tell.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Why not give the $1000 as a gift and then when it is appropriate (as in when asked OR if it comes up in conversation) mention that you really got a lot out of this particular book and would they like a copy?

I wouldn't want money with strings attached.

I don't understand why the caller would just assume they need help.

 

[chris31997]

So, I did not read in here how the sis thought they might need help. They may or may not.

Here is my 2 cents on gifts:
For Kids: Fun and related to the area we are living(DH is in the military and we move a lot, how often are you going to get something from Hawaii or Japan) and somewhat educational without the kids knowing it
For Adults: Useful and related to where we are.


The key is being useful. I gave a bride to be crockpot cookbooks and financial planning books(Total Money Make Over). She and her hubby to be were very happy to recieve them. I think it is smart to give them the program, and the emergancy fund. Even if the newlyweds are good with money, it won't hurt to hear it again from a differant point of view. Unless, one or both work in the financial industry than it can't hurt to hear the info again.

 

[mrsklamc]

I think the caller could give the book AND $1000...(the whole class is probably presumptuous) with the understanding that the money is a GIFT. If they choose to use it that way, fine, if not, that's the chance you took.

 

[princessmom29]

So, I did not read in here how the sis thought they might need help. They may or may not.

Here is my 2 cents on gifts:
For Kids: Fun and related to the area we are living(DH is in the military and we move a lot, how often are you going to get something from Hawaii or Japan) and somewhat educational without the kids knowing it
For Adults: Useful and related to where we are.


The key is being useful. I gave a bride to be crockpot cookbooks and financial planning books(Total Money Make Over). She and her hubby to be were very happy to recieve them. I think it is smart to give them the program, and the emergancy fund. Even if the newlyweds are good with money, it won't hurt to hear it again from a differant point of view. Unless, one or both work in the financial industry than it can't hurt to hear the info again.

I would NOT consider financial planning books a "useful" wedding gift. Personally, my finances are no one else's business and it would be tatamount to giving me a "bedroom help" book, and just as unwelcome. The crock pot books are suitable wedding gifts, unsolicited financial advice is NOT!

 

[princessmom29]

People need to remember, even though Dave Ramsey tossed-in his program as his own personal gift to the couple, it's the selling of these programs (via his radio show) that provides Mr. Ramsey's "bread and butter".

That said, I still prefer Clark Howard's approach, as his advice is generally to prevent consumers from being ripped-off.

And, yes, if someone gave me a monetary gift with strings attached, I would have to say "thanks, but no thanks".

exactly. Of course he wants to promote his own money maker. Personally, I think spending the money on it is a foolish waste of money. Money people with financial problems already don't have.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Had to make a 400 mile round trip yesterday to take my DD for a pointe shoe fitting so I had plenty of time to listen to Dave Ramsey's radio show.

A woman called in to ask his opinion on giving her brother and his bride a Financial Peace seminar and the $1000 first emergency fund as a wedding gift. Dave told them to do it in a big deal way with a serious talk about how the money was for extreme emergencies only. Then Dave kicked in the FP seminar as his gift.

Not sure how I feel about this. I wished that I could talk to the woman to point out that she should be prepared for them to spend the $1000 as they wished since a gift given now belongs to the recipient. How will she feel if they blow it on a big screen TV or a trip to Disneyworld ?

It also seemed really nosy and presumptious to me. I would be insulted if a sibling took it upon themselves to sit me down and school me about finances. Actually, I can almost guarentee that DH and I would refuse a gift with strings attached. We've never accepted one thus far.

It occured to me that maybe the caller has a relationship with her brother that would make this OK but she stated in the call that she doesn't know the bride to be well. If the bride is anything like me, this will not be a good start to their relationship.

So thoughtful gift or generous but a bit rude?

rude.

 

[crisi]

I would NOT consider financial planning books a "useful" wedding gift. Personally, my finances are no one else's business and it would be tatamount to giving me a "bedroom help" book, and just as unwelcome. The crock pot books are suitable wedding gifts, unsolicited financial advice is NOT!

I gave a girlfriend "Sex for Dummies" as a shower gift. It was, of course, a gag gift and accepted in that spirit (I know her pretty well).

 

[dvcgirl]

My 28 year old cousin just got engaged to his 24 year old girlfriend. He's more like a nephew to me, and we've always been close...and we love the girl he's marrying. We're thrilled for the two of them as they start their married life together .

He's from the "extended" side of my family that has always just been horrific with money....I mean, off-the-scales bad. And so he's "grown-up" in that "it's okay to file bankruptcy"....and "if we can afford the payment, we can afford the item" household.

DH and I gave them a nice engagement gift.....a gift card to their favorite restaurant, but also a personal finance book. "All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Guide". In the book, I wrote a note that *if* they were interested, that my DH and I would be happy to sit down with them over a few meals in this year before they wed and talk to them about how to run a household budget. Also about setting financial goals, how much they should aim for in retirement savings, investing...insurance....all of it. I said that I'd leave it up to them to reach out to us if they were interested in having a few "discussions" about money and marriage.

That same night they both called me to not only thank us for the gifts, but both were excited about sitting down and learning a bit about personal finance from a couple who has successfully navigated those waters.

So, a couple of things....I wouldn't give a book like that as the *only* gift. I would give it in conjunction with a more celebratory gift. Secondly, the advice part was put out there as an offer, but in no way an obligation. And they jumped at it....and were really excited about it. Also, the "Total Money Makeover" is really designed more for people who are trying to get out of debt. This book is different....it's not preachy and it's a really straightforward way to set up your financial life.

We'll give them $1,000 cash for their gift because this is family...but I'd never in a million years suggest how they should spend that money. You can't attach rules or strings to gifts.

 

[Tiger926]

I also agree that it's tacky as it has strings attached to it. A gift should not have strings attached...

I don't care for Dave Ramsay at all, and so that married couple may not either. Despite the fact that it's meant to be a helpful gift, it may be taken in a negative way, and that is not a good way to start a marriage. Since they don't know the new SIL very well, giving that kind of gift, might scare her away and set the relationship up in a negative light.

I do see how it's meant to be a helpful gift, and if that's the true spirit, then just give the money, and let it be, without the FPU seminar or books attached.

Tiger

 

[Tistal]

That may actually be less classy than the vacuum cleaner my mother in law gave me as a wedding gift (and I thought there couldn't be anything more tacky).

 

[windycitymom]

I think it's a wonderful idea! You say you are close to your nephew which is important when discussing finances. I only wish DH & I had discovered DR when we first got married. You are a wonderful aunt for doing this and I don't think they would be offended if you explained how DR helped you - and you want to help them. We did FPU in Fall 2010 and loved it! Because of DR we are debt-free except for our house!

 

[Mary•Poppins]

I actually think it is a very thoughtful gift. I was very fortunate to marry a man who is great with money. However, we have a few friends and family members who did not.

I think giving the gift with the "idea" that the first 1000.00 to use as their emergency money is great, but the giver must accept that the gift may not be used as they intended.

My godson is getting married this weekend and I have bought Money Makeover and The Millionaire Nextdoor along with 500.00. Hopefully both books can help guide them to a good financial start. But if they throw the books away and spend the money on what they view as important ... my gift is just that, a gift for their use.

 

[Planogirl]

I wouldn't care for the book but I'd take it in the spirit it was intended and thank them. Then I would spend the money (or not) as I saw fit.

 

[crisi]

I wouldn't care for the book but I'd take it in the spirit it was intended and thank them. Then I would spend the money (or not) as I saw fit.

Is the spirit intended "we don't think you are capable of handling your own money?"

 

[sookie]

It's about as klassy as gifting a weight watchers membership to your chunky cousin at the annual family holiday gift swap.

If I were going to offer financial advice to a family member - it'd be only after I was asked and it would be separate from any sort of celebration such as a wedding or birthday or holiday.

THIS!!!
Yes it is very presumptous (sp?)

 

[pinktink83]

I don't think its rude, just not very practical. A young couple just starting out probably won't "get it" on why its so important. Most likely it will be used on the honeymoon, buying a home, a new car (or fixing the old) or towards their first baby. Life stuff just comes up and it'd be too tempting to not use it. So I could see the SIL possibly feeling offended if the money wasn't saved for a "true" emergency (lost job, injury, etc).

However, I think the seminar would be awesome! And a copy of the book and workbook, too. What a great way to start your marraige! Let them learn the principles and do it on their own. It'll mean so much more and they'll use it more wisely (hopefully!) lol

 

[Tiger926]

Is the spirit intended "we don't think you are capable of handling your own money?"

That is exactly what I was thinking. Since they don't really know SIL very well, this could be a very negative first impression, or, set the new SIL up with preconceived expectations from here on in.

So, along the same lines, should people start giving out sex manuals (I saw you gave one as a gag gift, LOL!), cooking classes or marriage counselling as wedding gifts? I totally get that people are trying to be practical and helpful, but telling someone how to spend the money you are gifting to them is just not a great idea, IMHO.

I live in a very ethnic city, and money is the gift of choice for weddings, and it comes with no strings attached. The only people who give gifts at weddings are not of any ethnic descent, and the gifts are usually not practical at all - vases, statues, etc. If couple is mature enough to get married, then you have to trust that they are mature enough to know how and where to spend the money. If not, it's not your problem as the gift giver.

Tiger