Daughters Birthday Ruined Vent LONG

[grlpwrd]

...
And another thing. OP generously watches this lady's kids for free after school. Sounds to me like the mother is good at taking advantage of other people's generousity as well her daughter - without giving a whole lot in return, even if it was just teaching her daughter respect for other people's feelings. I think this is a case where the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

I think a big part of having such problems is because the lines between friendship and daycare duties are being crossed. Just because you (the OP) feel close to them or that your dd's are seemingly close because you do all that you do for them doesn't mean you should expect them to reciprocate. I did daycare for quite a while and I think it's part of the business so I can empathize. They are "family" to me.

Hope your dd has a good birthday, regardless!

 

[minniecarousel]

These are 8 year olds - right? I don't think I'd ever plan on having only one friend at a child's bday party - maybe the girl felt the pressure and just couldn't handle it? And I definetly would not want to take an eight-year-old to Diensyland who didn't want to go - "just suck it up" and have a good time is not something that I would expect an 8 year old to do.

 

[Disney Doll]

Several points:
1. Have your DD branch out her friend list a bit, so this type of thing won't happen again.

2. If you don't wantt to watch the kid, you don't have to. But remember, no one was holding a gun to your head and forcing you. I assume it was your choice to watch the child.

3. Remember they are children. If you feel as if this child takes your DD for granted, then steer your DD towards other kids, activities, groups.

4. Whatever "brutally honest" means to you....make sure your DD iis not hurtful to others with her "brutal honesty". Children need to learn limits of social behavior, your DD icluded.

5. Prepare yourself to watch your kid get hurt a million more times, and in bigger ways. If you're reacting liek this to an 8 year old birthday party, I can't imagine what the first boyfriend breakup will be like.

 

[PaulaSue]

Hope your DD had a GREAT day!!!

Update when you get a chance!
From another December baby (9th)

 

[Zurealsoon]

So you expect an 8yo to shoulder the total expectation of an overwhelming birthday?
It is one thing to invite a few kids over for cake and games, but to have a sleepover and a FULL DAY, that is too much for an 8yo.

I agree. I also think 8 is young for a sleepover. That is 3rd grade. Mine were in 6th grade before the sleepovers began.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it is sad that it happened this way, but I think you overreacted.

I get the feeling that you are only thinking of one side of this, yours and your Dds. I think you should think of the other side of it a bit. There are a variety of reasons that the girl could have decided to go home, she could have just started to experience some seperation anxiety, she could have bed wetting or night terrors...she could have just felt uncomfortable for whatever reason. She is only 8 years old.

I think you should consider that you were offering a sleepover and a full day of fun to his girl. Most kids will not walk away from fun without reason. Even if that reason seems stupid to you, it obviously was pretty big to the 8 yo girl. I would cut her some slack, try to help your DD accept that plans change sometimes and definitely do not allow one person to be the 'fun factor' on any special occasions, as life tends to throw us curveballs.

Also, I would never, ever force a child to stay over anyones house if they felt uncomfortable in any way, no matter when they decided they needed to come home. Yes, it is a heartbreak for your DD, but also a lesson that things do not always go as planned and we have to learn to accept that and make the best of it.

I hope she did enjoy her birthday, even though things didn't go as planned.

 

[Mermaid02]

I hope you and your dd had a great "Mom and Me" day at Disneyland!

That being said, my kids can call me any time of day or night to come get them at a friends house (or anywhere) and I will come get them- no questions asked. My son has a diagnosed anxiety d/o and sometimes the simplest thing will make him have a panic attack. If this child really has separation anxiety- it shouldn't be made light of.

 

[aprilgail2]

I agree. I also think 8 is young for a sleepover. That is 3rd grade. Mine were in 6th grade before the sleepovers began.

My daughter is 6 and has already had friends sleeping over for the past year...its a great age to have them since htey can't last that long LOL...by 10-11pm they are all passed out cold!