Daughter broke her arm, Boss less than sympathetic- How to respond?

[BOST99]

I agree with above and file for FMLA. This will give you job protected leave to handle this. If you have sick time does it cover absences for children?

I would write back and apologize for the unexpected absence, reiterate that you called in making them aware of the situation and (if you are eligible) notify him that you will be starting the FMLA request process with HR.

If your boss was attempting to start documenting a tardiness problem, getting this approved as FMLA should prevent further emails or it may be viewed as retaliation/denial of rights.

Edit to add: FMLA can be taken in small amounts at different times called intermittent leave

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I can't say fro sure what I would do. If I come in late, my boss knows and is ok with that. If I call in - same thing. I would have said you need to have a personal conversation with your boss but when I read how he treats others (pregnant woman) I understand why you wouldn't want to. I don't think you need to go over his head this one time or even reach out to HR - that seems a bit much but I would keep this email and file it away for a rainy day. I probably won't respond at all to his passive aggressive email. Ignore it but file it away.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

No one had to stay over. I felt calling out the entire shift would have been more detrimental to the team, which is why I made every effort to arrive at work as soon as possible. You can bet I will consider this in the future!

Understood. Glad she is ok. Sucks she needs a cast but at least no surgery

 

[piglet too]

Sadly, there are just bosses like this out there. I had a boss get angry when it was me who was in the emergency room. Wanted to know if I'd be coming in once I was discharged and complained that it was taking too long.

Protect yourself by keeping records of everything.

 

[dclpluto]

You should of just called off work.

 

[mamacatnv]

It's a fine line. I don't want to burn bridges, but I also don't want to be a doormat, and I don't know how to walk that line, and I don't know if HR would be helpful. I don't consider HR to be there for the employees, but rather to mitigate liabilities for the employer. I went to HR when he told me to bring in homemade baked goods instead of actually using my credentials and sharing knowledge with nursing. It turned into a "he said/she said" and nothing came of it.

I was going to make this point. HR is there to protect the company from in this case, a manager who is a bit of an idiot when it comes to what he should/should not say to his staff.

I'd read up on your policy, it is very possible that the hospital has a strict attendance policy and he was required to make those comments regardless of the actual situation(Emergency). Sure he could of said to you ahead of the email "please don't take this wrong, I am required to state the following....." or something along those lines but he may not be the type.
Perhaps there are issues with other employees and everyone is getting the "manual hammer".

I'd not take this to HR UNLESS what he did is a violation of policy and if its policy, I'd let it go and chalk it up to lesson learned. Next time, just call out (provided your policy has a provision)

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Is there a reason that your communication might have given them the impression that you were attempting to be in on time, or very close too it? 2 1/2 hours is a long time to be left short staffed in a hospital pharmacy position. I'm assuming they were either short for the time you weren't there, or the day shift had to stay until you got there without clear knowledge of when that would be.

Point being, would it have been better for them if you had just called in so they could get someone else to cover the shift in its entirety?

Granted, the tact of your boss left a lot to be desired. However, I can kind of see where the message is coming from. While status updates are appreciated, they don't fix the staffing needs of that 2 1/2 hour period.

This is a lot of what I was going to say. I work in a hospital, too. It is easier when someone calls in, for us. I told someone that this week, in fact, who wanted to leave in the middle of a shift. I had nobody to replace her and was already down two positions in her role. Perhaps if you had notified them that you wouldn't be in four hours before your shift, they could've found someone to replace you. I imagine what happened is that meds were late coming up to the units and it caused some problems, so your boss got some flak about it. I also think that what he was saying wasn't that you'll never call in again, but that you'll never do that again, ie coming in so late. I don't think he should've emailed you about this, I think it should've been a conversation saying basically when (noticed I said when, not if, because it happens to all of us from time to time) it happens again, it might be better to call in than it is to come in late. Of course, at the same time, he doesn't want to encourage call ins. (We have the same issues, too.) So what he came up with was that awkward response. I think, yes, it sucks, you had an emergency with your daughter, but from a professional standpoint, I think you should really step back and take a deep breath. I might even just let it go. If it comes up in the future, I'd just say yes, I see now it caused a problem, but at the time, I was trying to do what I thought was the right thing. (So shoot me! Yeah don't say that but that will be what's in your head, lol.)

 

[indimom]

Just to have a record, I would reply (including anyone who your boss included) and state something like "As I always have in the past, I plan to work all future shifts, as scheduled, in their entirety. I understand that on (whatever date it was) I was unable to come into work until 5:00 due to a medical emergency, in which I informed the hospital of and continued communication with from the time the emergency occurred until I arrived at work. Is there anything else that you would like me to do in the future in the case of a medical emergency? I am happy to handle those types of situations any way that the hospital sees best, please just let me know. Thank you..."

Def. a weird email to get from your boss, but I would def. respond with an email such as this, just for the paper trail and to make sure their was no miscommunication etc.

I think this is your best approach. It's professional and to the point.

Arriving late most likely did leave them in a mess. Either those who were working had to take on a larger workload, someone had to stay over, or they had to call someone in for a partial shift?

I'm an RN. I know my boss would prefer I call out entirely in advance so she can find someone to fill in. It's difficult to find someone willing to fill in when they are: getting dressed, driving in, etc for .... 5 mins? 30? an hour? 12 hours? I know I wouldn't want to make a 45 minute commute for a fill-in like that.
And working long, stressful hours, the nurses already there would not be happy staying over OR taking on more work for an unknown period of time until I could arrive.

While you tried to be informative and helpful, it probably wasn't the best choice leaving them guessing when you were going to arrive.

I'm glad your daughter has no serious problem from her break! Don't let this stress you out or cause trouble at work. While your bosses email was curt, try to consider the problems caused by the your late arrival, the boss probably has some reason to be a bit annoyed. I would just complete the paper trail, get a clear statement on how to proceed in the future if a similar situation arises, and go on with your job.

 

[justussix]

A good boss would've covered the 2.5 hour shift (I assume since he's the boss he's also a pharmacist). That way he wouldn't have had complaints or pressure from anyone. That's what my boss would do. Same for when she's out. We cover her.

There isn't enough information to conclude whether or not the boss covered the 2 1/2 hours, or if they got it covered another way. Clearly it was covered somehow, as those 2 1/2 hours have long past, and the OP wasn't there for them.

Whether or not the boss covers is a separate issue from the communication the OP received, and further separate from whether or not this is a good boss. Although the OP did give a little insight into the supportive character of the boss in another post. Not so much.

 

[Lynne M]

I really don't see what you could have done differently. It's the boss's job to plan shift coverage and adjust it in case of an emergency. It's not your responsibility to determine whether it would be better for staffing purposes for you to come in late, or take the day off.

I mean, come on. When you get a call from an employee saying her kid just broke her arm, and her shift starts in 4 hours, you know darn well that there's a good chance she won't be in on time. If you'd prefer to have someone else cover the shift so there's not any uncertainty, you just say, "Hey, TexasKiwiPrincess, I think it'd work out better for us if you just took the day off. So take your time and get your daughter's arm fixed up, and we'll see ya tomorrow."

I don't know what he would suggest that you do differently next time, unless he wanted you to make your daughter take a cab to the ortho's office, and then cab it home. Sheesh.

 

[gotomu212]

I think I'd let it go since you've already gone to HR once before over a previous unrelated incident and didn't get much support. Nothing in his email is really out of line (annoying and badly communicated) but telling someone you need them there for an entire shift can't be against company policy. I think you risk being someone who pulls the HR card too often. Plus this isn't something that's likely to occur again.

I'd also agree that you were trying to do your best to keep everyone updated on your situation, but I'm not sure how many emails/calls you actually sent. At a certain point as a manager I find constant, though vague, updates more annoying than helpful. Unless you can say I will be there by x time, sending me constant updates can kind of grate on me. I prefer someone either call out or say I honestly have no idea when this will be resolved; and I can either say just come when you can or don't worry about it I'll find someone to cover. Maybe that was some of what added to the stress of the situation.

 

[SharonZ]

I'm wondering if he was OK with your situation, but someone else brought to his attention as being an issue.

 

[Hikergirl]

I am still processing this. I have exceptional attendance. I've had one sick day in 3 years, and frequently cover shifts on short notice when others have called out. I feel like I went above and beyond communicating my situation in a professional manner, and completely within the requirements outlined in the hospitals time and attendance policy.

What I really need is some HR advice. This email came across as threatening and not supportive of what happened. I mean, it's not like I was dealing with my daughter's cold. She broke her arm!! Right now I cannot comprehend the audacity of this email. I am livid and don't trust myself to keep my reply professional. Any thoughts or advice? Anyone with HR experience that could comment?

OP, your boss doesn't really have to be supportive what happens to your dd. It sounds like you are mad because she isn't sympathetic about your dd's arm, and I don't think that is something to bring up to HR. He isn't really required to be supportive of what happens to you or your family outside of the office.
I also don't see the email as threatening, you have a shift and you should be working it in it's entirety. I can see his point, you didn't call in for the day, you did keep them updated but you left them hanging for 2.5 hours.
Do you get personal or sick time off? Next time a medical emergency comes up I'd use that.

 

[usnuzuloose]

The only thing I would not do is say you will work all shifts in its entirety. What if something else happens and you can't keep your word. Things do happen. I would read the HR handbook on it. Hold onto all emails. I am sorry that your boss is not sympathetic. If track records are good there should be some leeway here.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't know if HR would be helpful. I don't consider HR to be there for the employees, but rather to mitigate liabilities for the employer. I went to HR when he told me to bring in homemade baked goods instead of actually using my credentials and sharing knowledge with nursing. It turned into a "he said/she said" and nothing came of it.

This is correct.... HR is there to mitigate their liability. They are not there for 'you' the employee.
That is why there are laws....
I am glad that you did report it to HR about the prior incident.
Have there also been others?

I agree with the above post... I would not state, simply and without reservation, that I would be there for the entirety of every scheduled shift every day.

In fact, for them to ask you to do that, and to, in effect, waive your rights and benefits that are outlined for employee's time off, is really a kicker... this is definitely not a legal demand, and is a threat.

If you end up stating anything at all... I should be something along the lines of "I will eagerly and willingly work scheduled shifts. Time off from scheduled shifts will be according to, and in compliance with, HR policy....."

This is why you need to document, document, document... And, yes, report to HR.
It is not just this boss who is liable here. A complaint about this boss is just that... a 'complaint'.
What matters is how HR handles it.
It is only known and proven discrimination if it is reported to HR, more than once, and they do nothing.
Then it is known, systemic, discrimination.

PS: I know you were trying to do the right thing... But if there were ANY way that anyone else could have filled in, you really should have called out for the entire day.
I have never seen any medical situation like this that didn't take a LONG time to get in to the specialist... get the tests/xrays/etc... and then any possible treatment/surgery.
You could easily have been dealing with this medical emergency for the most of the day.

Either that, or you should have made sure to get their response... Either they can wait to hear from you, or they can cover for you for the day....
If you had that documented... That would be important.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I think your boss could have handled it better, but I also think you could have done things better. With 4 kids, I've been in the ER a time or six. Even a relatively smooth trip takes a few hours. Continuing to update and say you'd be there soon isn't particularly helpful to the person responsible for your job while you're not there. I'm sure you meant well, but just calling in, saying there was a family emergency, would have been the way to go IMO. That would have given your boss the chance to find a stand-in, and you would have been covered had your DD needed surgery or had other complications. Your boss really wasn't looking for updates saying, "My DD was hurt...her arm is broken...she might need surgery...no, wait, she just needs a cast...I'll be there in an hour...we're waiting on another consult..." and so forth.

I wouldn't be reporting her to HR, either. She's right that you should have been there to work your entire shift. Obviously, crap happens, especially with kids--I get that. But you don't want to get labeled as the person who reports to HR, every time you don't like the way an email is worded. It might be worthwhile to review the company policy on being absent, especially when it comes to family. Back when I was gainfully employed, my good friend was peeved that she was given 20 sick days, but was expected to use personal time (5 days), not sick time, if her baby was sick. Sure, her baby was much more likely to get sick, and 5 days isn't much, but that was the policy, right or wrong.

 

[Cadiewampus]

Sounds to me like your boss is a smart ***. Just let it go. Those type of people usually say something to the wrong person and end up elsewhere.

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

The email was 3 lines long. The rest of it was "The work you do here is important. It hurts the team when someone is out." then the line about "I expect that you will work all future shifts, as scheduled, in their entirety." I've never had a face to face discussion about tardiness or attendance. It hasn't been an issue that a discussion would be warranted. I can't know if there was a memorandum that come down the chain that I'm not aware of. This clearly was an emergency situation that I had no control over. Why that tone when I show up every day, on time, year after year? Of course I will continue to work all shifts I am scheduled for- that's what I do. I will review the policy again today when I go in, but I am pretty sure I am in compliance.

Honestly, I am not comfortable going to his office and engaging him on this one-on-one. I need everything in writing.

He is one of those bosses you read about that I denied existed. When I started at this hospital, I approached him about hosting a nursing education topic discussion on antibiotics and he told me to take the nurses baked goods instead. Something homemade would be a nice touch. (He doesn't ask male pharmacists to provide baked goods.) Another co-worker was pregnant and he suggested she would be happier working from home. Offered to forward her the recruiter's information. Sure, could be a nice sentiment on the surface, but the delivery communicated so much more. He really treated her poorly and she eventually found a much better position in another state.

It's a fine line. I don't want to burn bridges, but I also don't want to be a doormat, and I don't know how to walk that line, and I don't know if HR would be helpful. I don't consider HR to be there for the employees, but rather to mitigate liabilities for the employer. I went to HR when he told me to bring in homemade baked goods instead of actually using my credentials and sharing knowledge with nursing. It turned into a "he said/she said" and nothing came of it.

Sounds like a real gem.

This is what I would personally do...

• First, I'd take some time and only act when CALM.
• I am a big fan of the mantra DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. I would NOT see him about this in person until I had something in writing, especially given his history.
• I'd make sure I knew my company's policies governing PTO, etc. inside out.
• I'd respond in writing once I had a full understanding of those policies, including tid bits about my excellent record to date wrt attendance, dedication, etc.
• I would NOT respond with ANYTHING that suggests I'd do the impossible and guarantee that I will forever and always "work all future shifts, as scheduled, in their entirety."" That's a ludicrous request. Heart attack mid-shift? Death in the family? Keep working! Dumb. Says a lot about him as a "boss".
• Once all is documented, I would definitely bring the whole lot to HR. I might take the approach that I just want them to be aware of this, in case it comes up in some other way (performance review, he complains to HR, etc.).

Yes, HR is ultimately there to protect the company. However, part of how they do that is by helping to ensure that no employee puts the company in a bad position legally. Your boss sounds like just the type that would keep me up at night if I were an HR Director. I have held jobs with HR responsibilities, and I would most definitely prefer to have a heads-up about this than not.

 

[bcla]

It seems almost ludicrous that someone in a healthcare position wouldn't seem to understand the basic concept that a parent might need to take care of a medical issue. This is something drilled into me at every place I've ever worked - that time off to attend to a family medical emergency is part of the employment compact, and that emergencies happen.

 

[Westcoastwild]

The email was 3 lines long. The rest of it was "The work you do here is important. It hurts the team when someone is out." then the line about "I expect that you will work all future shifts, as scheduled, in their entirety." I've never had a face to face discussion about tardiness or attendance. It hasn't been an issue that a discussion would be warranted. I can't know if there was a memorandum that come down the chain that I'm not aware of. This clearly was an emergency situation that I had no control over. Why that tone when I show up every day, on time, year after year? Of course I will continue to work all shifts I am scheduled for- that's what I do. I will review the policy again today when I go in, but I am pretty sure I am in compliance.

Honestly, I am not comfortable going to his office and engaging him on this one-on-one. I need everything in writing.

He is one of those bosses you read about that I denied existed. When I started at this hospital, I approached him about hosting a nursing education topic discussion on antibiotics and he told me to take the nurses baked goods instead. Something homemade would be a nice touch. (He doesn't ask male pharmacists to provide baked goods.) Another co-worker was pregnant and he suggested she would be happier working from home. Offered to forward her the recruiter's information. Sure, could be a nice sentiment on the surface, but the delivery communicated so much more. He really treated her poorly and she eventually found a much better position in another state.

It's a fine line. I don't want to burn bridges, but I also don't want to be a doormat, and I don't know how to walk that line, and I don't know if HR would be helpful. I don't consider HR to be there for the employees, but rather to mitigate liabilities for the employer. I went to HR when he told me to bring in homemade baked goods instead of actually using my credentials and sharing knowledge with nursing. It turned into a "he said/she said" and nothing came of it.

So at first, I thought perhaps you should clarify with the boss. Some folks just come across terse over emails. Additionally, the updating thing may have been the wrong way to handle it (I agree with the others that some days it's better to just call in). I also don't know what your company's policy is on family emergencies.

BUT. Then you posted the above, and the fact that you know what kind of boss you are dealing with, well, that changes things. I'd document everything and job hunt in the mean time. Because that may be his/her way of "documenting" a way to get rid you. I don't mean to make you paranoid or anything, but you've already went to HR over this person once, so you're already likely on the known enemy list. Bosses like that do not need a rational reason to make your life very very difficult. Just my two cents but I'd get out before you get to the bridge burning stage, because it sounds like that is where it may head. A previous boss had the habit of sending notes/saying stuff like this and it sounded innocuous out of context. Reasonable. But only if you didn't know the man.