Daughter broke her arm, Boss less than sympathetic- How to respond?

[smokeyblue]

I have been living an absolute nightmare with my boss harassing me about using PTO time for medical appointments all of which were pre-approved and some even covered by FMLA. I also work for a hospital. I've learned a lot over the last year. These are my suggestion if you have a boss that is going to give you problems:

-Don't respond. This is all about control with your boss. He wants you to obey.
-HR doesn't give a rats behind about you or your sick kid. HR is there to protect the hospital's interests-at all costs. They will back your boss until there is an investigation or you sue them; then they will say your boss is a rouge employee.
-Read your PTO and FMLA policies. Make copies to keep at home.
-When you need to use PTO time, just say you need PTO time. Don't elaborate, it's none of their business what you do on your own time. If you need PTO to cover an emergency, call and say you're taking PTO time for a personal emergency. Most PTO policies say that you should request time off in advance whenever possible; that means you can also use your earned benefit time when personal emergencies arise with little or no notice.
-Apply for an intermittent FMLA leave for anything that needs more than one doctor's appointment.
-Document, document, document!

I also thought at first that your might be overreacting a little bit, but when you described your boss's sexist behavior, he seems like a guy who thinks he doesn't need to follow the rules. It probably would have been less antagonistic if you had to just called in for the day instead of keeping them hanging all day long not knowing if you would actually turn up or not. I would suggest just calling in for the day in the future and like I said before, don't tell a story, just say I'm using PTO today, I have an emergency.

 

[jodifla]

Your boss is a first-class jerk. Given your profession, I'd look for a new job. Or find a way to get his job.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I have been living an absolute nightmare with my boss harassing me about using PTO time for medical appointments all of which were pre-approved and some even covered by FMLA. I also work for a hospital. I've learned a lot over the last year. These are my suggestion if you have a boss that is going to give you problems:

-HR doesn't give a rats behind about you or your sick kid. HR is there to protect the hospital's interests-at all costs. They will back your boss until there is an investigation or you sue them; then they will say your boss is a rouge employee.
-Read your PTO and FMLA policies. Make copies to keep at home.
-When you need to use PTO time, just say you need PTO time. Don't elaborate, it's none of their business what you do on your own time. If you need PTO to cover an emergency, call and say you're taking PTO time for a personal emergency. Most PTO policies say that you should request time off in advance whenever possible; that means you can also use your earned benefit time when personal emergencies arise with little or no notice.
-Apply for an intermittent FMLA leave for anything that needs more than one doctor's appointment.
-Document, document, document!

I also thought at first that your might be overreacting a little bit, but when you described your boss's sexist behavior, he seems like a guy who thinks he doesn't need to follow the rules. It probably would have been less antagonistic if you had to just called in for the day instead of keeping them hanging all day long not knowing if you would actually turn up or not. I would suggest just calling in for the day in the future and like I said before, don't tell a story, just say I'm using PTO today, I have an emergency.

Yep. The more story you give them the more they can use it against you. Learned that the hard way. You don't need to explain when using PTO.

And the HR will almost always give your boss the benefit of the doubt. Theoretically you were right to go to HR over the baked goods thing but that's the type of thing that can be twisted so easily.

As a kid they tell you truth is always the best policy and then you enter the work force and realize playground bullies grow up to be bosses who are a whole lot more clever about stealing your ball and pushing you to the ground...

 

[Tozzie]

I agree with above and file for FMLA. This will give you job protected leave to handle this. If you have sick time does it cover absences for children?

I would write back and apologize for the unexpected absence, reiterate that you called in making them aware of the situation and (if you are eligible) notify him that you will be starting the FMLA request process with HR.

If your boss was attempting to start documenting a tardiness problem, getting this approved as FMLA should prevent further emails or it may be viewed as retaliation/denial of rights.

Edit to add: FMLA can be taken in small amounts at different times called intermittent leave

FMLA requires appropriate notice to the employer she can't do it retroactively.

 

[smokeyblue]

FMLA requires appropriate notice to the employer she can't do it retroactively.

This is not true. FMLA can be applied retroactively in the case of acute illness or injury.

 

[PollyannaMom]

At first, I thought your boss probably got flack from the people who had to cover, or people who were inconvenienced, e-mailed in a bratty mood, and probably regretted it - but after you told the other story, I see a very unpleasant pattern and just think he's a first class jerk!

Honestly, you're a better employee than me for even trying to make it. I'd have called out for the entire shift in the first place.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this when you tried so hard! Give my best to your daughter.

 

[ols386]

I would document what transpired, including the email from your boss, and not contact HR. Just keep all the documentation. See how things go, going forward.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, The more I think about your situation the madder I get for you and all Moms who are faced with these issues. How do you think the matter would have gone had you been a single Dad, who had to be with his daughter at the hospital? I'll bet no e-mail would have been sent out. I would be bringing this up to HR.

TC

 

[declansdad]

What ever happened to just talking to your boss?

 

[dish rag]

OP, The more I think about your situation the madder I get for you and all Moms who are faced with these issues. How do you think the matter would have gone had you been a single Dad, who had to be with his daughter at the hospital? I'll bet no e-mail would have been sent out. I would be bringing this up to HR.

That's strange that you would think that. Actually it comes across as hateful towards men. And why go to HR? Why not just talk with the boss that sent the email.

TC

 

[Tuffcookie]

Not hateful towards men. Just suggesting there might be a double standard as to "shaming" an employee when she is called away from the workplace for a MEDICAL reason.

TC

 

[dish rag]

Not hateful towards men. Just suggesting there might be a double standard as to "shaming" an employee when she is called away from the workplace for a MEDICAL reason.

TC

Usually in my experience it's the male employee that would be shamed. But you sure sound like a man hater in that post. Wow!

 

[dclpluto]

OP, The more I think about your situation the madder I get for you and all Moms who are faced with these issues. How do you think the matter would have gone had you been a single Dad, who had to be with his daughter at the hospital? I'll bet no e-mail would have been sent out. I would be bringing this up to HR.

TC

Totally uncalled for. Doesn't matter what the sex is of the person if they are single or married. What op did was wrong showing up for work 2 and a half hours late. She should of just called off work that day. Yes the boss should of had enough guts to talk to her in person instead of sending her a email.

 

[Mizzoufan]

OP I wouldn't fight this battle. I think you will be on the losing side. HR isn't on your side

 

[mi*vida*loca]

OP what is your hospital policy for call outs, lateness and PTO?

 

[disykat]

I think it's odd that so many people are assuming that if she had called out entirely with an emergency 4 hours before work, her shift would have been covered. My guess is that as it stood only part of her shift was uncovered. If she'd called out entirely, her entire shift might have been uncovered.

 

[dclpluto]

I think it's odd that so many people are assuming that if she had called out entirely with an emergency 4 hours before work, her shift would have been covered. My guess is that as it stood only part of her shift was uncovered. If she'd called out entirely, her entire shift might have been uncovered.

Doesn't matter if the shift would of been covered or not covered. You do what is best for your job.

 

[Tuffcookie]

He is one of those bosses you read about that I denied existed. When I started at this hospital, I approached him about hosting a nursing education topic discussion on antibiotics and he told me to take the nurses baked goods instead. Something homemade would be a nice touch. (He doesn't ask male pharmacists to provide baked goods.) Another co-worker was pregnant and he suggested she would be happier working from home. Offered to forward her the recruiter's information. Sure, could be a nice sentiment on the surface, but the delivery communicated so much more. He really treated her poorly and she eventually found a much better position in another state.

 

[mummabear]

Is there a reason that your communication might have given them the impression that you were attempting to be in on time, or very close too it? 2 1/2 hours is a long time to be left short staffed in a hospital pharmacy position. I'm assuming they were either short for the time you weren't there, or the day shift had to stay until you got there without clear knowledge of when that would be.

Point being, would it have been better for them if you had just called in so they could get someone else to cover the shift in its entirety?

Granted, the tact of your boss left a lot to be desired. However, I can kind of see where the message is coming from. While status updates are appreciated, they don't fix the staffing needs of that 2 1/2 hour period.

I think though in this situation the boss had he ability with the updates to come back and ask her to call out the day, all it would have taken was "if you can't be sure that you won't be here at x time (whether that time was the normal shift start time or any cut off period after that) I need you to call out so we can replace you on this shift and have certainty of staff levels."

To not say anything negative during the updates or when she arrives and then sends this later is pretty poor.

Just to have a record, I would reply (including anyone who your boss included) and state something like "As I always have in the past, I plan to work all future shifts, as scheduled, in their entirety. I understand that on (whatever date it was) I was unable to come into work until 5:00 due to a medical emergency, in which I informed the hospital of and continued communication with from the time the emergency occurred until I arrived at work. Is there anything else that you would like me to do in the future in the case of a medical emergency? I am happy to handle those types of situations any way that the hospital sees best, please just let me know. Thank you..."

Def. a weird email to get from your boss, but I would def. respond with an email such as this, just for the paper trail and to make sure their was no miscommunication etc.

I think that is the perfect response, it covers your butt, looks helpful but has an underlying what's your problem to it.

 

[mummabear]

While your bosses email was curt, try to consider the problems caused by the your late arrival, the boss probably has some reason to be a bit annoyed

Not really.
A) She has covered shifts to help out before. It's a give and take relationship. No boss would want their employees to work to rule.
B) He had information up front, hours before her shift started and he could have asked her to call out. She didn't just not show up for 2.5 hours, or advise them last minute. She did the best thing she thought she could do in the circumstances.
He as her employer should have advised her if he wanted something differently done (and showing up on time isnt a reasonable expectation for this situation)