Dating someone you aren't physically attracted to

[disneychrista]

Disneychrista, I don't think you are ready for another relationship yet. Take what you have with this guy and be friends. IF anything is going to happen, it will, but not until you are truly ready, healed from your last relationship and ready to look forward again. I had a 5 year relationship that fell apart; the plan had been to pick out wedding invitations when I came home from school at T-giving, and instead he broke up with me. It was a solid 18 months before I was over him. I remember the moment when, crying at night at the beach once again, when I suddenly thought, "I am tired of being sad over this guy." If you aren't to that point with your old relationship, I wouldn't be worried about being interested in and dating your friend. Once you are truly over the old relationship, who knows how this guy will look to you!

I know it takes time to get over a broken heart. That is why I gave myself at least six months. I think the fact that I’m even considering dating is a sign that I’m starting to heal. I know I am not there yet, not completely. I am tired of thinking about the ex. I do think you are right. When I’m truly ready my feelings/attraction might change. In the mean time I have a good friend, who I enjoy spending time with and makes me laugh.

 

[adelaster]

Last night we sent the entire night on texting. It was so nice, it is so easy with him. This was the first time he ever broached the subject of dating. We played a little game of truth. Taking turns asking each other questions that we would be totally honest about. He asked if I had ever thought about dating him and I told him the truth that yes I had thought about it. Honestly I feel like I am coming across like looks are all that matter. It is actually the least important thing to me.

Looks don't matter, but attraction/chemistry does. I think most of us are responding as if that is what you are telling us there is none of on your end. I think many have also said that that is something that can develop with time, it just isn't a guarantee.

 

[amberpi]

Looks don't matter, but attraction/chemistry does. I think most of us are responding as if that is what you are telling us there is none of on your end. I think many have also said that that is something that can develop with time, it just isn't a guarantee.

That's what I was thinking too - attraction/chemistry can't be faked in essence. I'm one of those people with a strong "type" and it tends to be hard for me to have chemistry outside of it; but I do think that the other stories of people falling hard for people that they wouldn't typically find attractive are endearing.

 

[disneychrista]

Looks don't matter, but attraction/chemistry does. I think most of us are responding as if that is what you are telling us there is none of on your end. I think many have also said that that is something that can develop with time, it just isn't a guarantee.

I guess I equate person looks as physical attraction. I think you can have chemistry with someone based on personality but still not be physically attracted to them.

 

[disneychrista]

And to answer my own question...YES apparently for me attraction can change/develop.

 

[mumto3girls]

Well that’s is an interesting update! Please, tell us more.

 

[Summer2018]

I have been hanging out with a guy for the past couple months, not really dating per se, just as friends. He is nice guy, he makes me laugh and we have fun when we are together. He has been honest that he would like more but knows that I am not ready to date since my last relationship only ended a few months. The problem is that I am not physically attracted to him, "it" just isn't there.

Have you dated someone you are not physically attracted to. Did that ever change? Would you date someone who you are not attracted to?

You either have chemistry or you don’t. I would only date someone that I am attracted to.

 

[disneychrista]

Well that’s is an interesting update! Please, tell us more.

Really not too much to tell. But I did see him in a bit of a different light the last time we meet up. Certainly not OMG! or anything. More like mmm ... maybe...

 

[dreamin_disney]

My husband. At first I was attracted to him and we went on a few dates. Then it just wasn't there anymore but I love being friends with him and hanging out. We stayed friends for two years . One night out with friends something just happened and there were sparks. I can't explain it but it was strong and we started dating and here we are 20 years later. My life has been good and it sometimes things just fall into place and I've been attracted to him inside and out for the last 20 years. I'm so glad it worked out. He's been a good husband, father and best friend