Dad died....When to read the Will?

[djbleach]

My 85 y/o dad died Thursday in an accident. He was still working and doing what he loved. Test driving a truck for his work. Long story short, he was airlifted to another hospital, after a catscan his heart stopped and his heart was not strong enough to keep going on his own. They were breathing for him and giving him drugs to try and maintain his heart. He died at 2012...
It's the worst pain I have ever felt.....PLUS
With that said.
I've never had to deal with anything like this. I'm the exec of will and don't have a clue of what to do now. I have a brother and sister. Both are here now. The funeral will be Wed, because he's a Veteran and thats when the plot will be available.
When do you read the will? Do you just read it with the three of us?
Or do you call the Lawyer who made up the will, take the will there and have them read it?
I'm just wondering what is the normal protocal on reading a will.
Thanks for anyhelp. I'm still in shock.

 

[summerrluvv]

If you have access to the will, you just open it up and read it. It will need to be probated most likely and that's when an attorney comes into play.

 

[Kim1964]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I agree that if you have a copy of the will, go ahead and read it. If you don't, call your dad's lawyer and get it whenever you feel up to making the call.

 

[djbleach]

I've got the will.
Not sure my sister is up to "reading the will" she's not in a good state right now.
Not sure what probate means.
Any simple way to explain it with out me having to google it?

 

[DVCLiz]

Probate is just the legal process you will use to settle your dad's estate. There are specific rules to follow. You will have to go somewhere in your community and be certified as the executor - usually it's at your local courthouse. Then you will be responsible for paying all of your dad's final expenses, bills, funeral costs, etc. You'll find insurance policies, assets like stocks and bonds, if any, and all of those kinds of things, and you'll have a process to follow to "end" each of those things. You'll send a death certificate, for example, and proof that you are the exectutor to the insurance company. Once all of those assets are settled and in a bank account, which you will need to open for the estate, you will know how much money is going to be left over to disperse. The will will tell you how to do that - maybe your dad left all of his assets in equal shares to each of you, for example. When all of that has been done, you have to file a final report to say you have finished and that report has to be accepted in order for the estate to be settled and closed. Oh, one other important part - you'll have to file final income taxes for the last year of your dad's death. If he hadn't filed for last year (2006) you'll need to do that, and because he was alive for a portion of 2007, you'll need to file a return next year as well.

Having an attorney to guide you through all of this is extremely valuable, in my opinion, especially since there are siblings involved. You want to be able to go to a lawyer who can advise you if someone is unhappy about a decision you made, etc.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a hard time, and having the burden of executing the will makes it tougher on you at a hard time. But it can be done - just follow what your attorney says.

As far as actually reading the will, you can do that anytime. You can go ahead and read it yourself and then ask your siblings if they would like a formal meeting, or you can just tell them what the will says.

 

[Andy B]

The reading of the will as seen in films is largely for the benefit of the film. There is no legal reason for the executor even to show the beneficiaried themselves. Often the contents of the will would have been know of before the sad occurance of the death of the subject. As executor it is your duty to follow out th wishes expressed in the will to the best of your ability. A lawyer is mainly needed to gain a grant of probate which allows you to hace access to the assets to deal with them. I have acted as executor for my sister (UK)and my Wife has just acted as executor for her mother (US living in the UK).

May you god be with you at this time.

 

[luvtogo12]

I am sorry for your loss. God bless.

 

[MissMichelle]

I just want to say that I am very sorry for your loss. It is devestating to lose a parent no matter the age/health. I just went through it with my best friend and she was her mom's executor and it was tough on her.

You have been given some great advice here. Do it when you are ready. Give it a week and see how your siblings are feeling. It will get a tad bit easier to read as time passes.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I am so sorry about your Dad.

There is no one correct answer. You might want all the siblings to open it together and read it. you might want to open it first and read it, and then share it with your siblings. Every family is different and there are so many situations.

When my Grandfather passed, the lawyer suggested that everybody wait until after the funeral, just so we weren't dealing with too much all at once.

again, my condolensces.

 

[Pixiedust34]

I don't have any advice about the will, but I just want to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[fkj2]

You should probably read the will now because your dad may have included some details related to the funeral itself.

It's a difficult process; I'm doing the same thing now for my mom's estate. Hope all goes well for you.

 

[PA DISNEYLOVER]

I am so sorry for your loss.

My husband was killed at work on the 28th of Dec. I had his will and opened it. He did have some request made for his funeral.

I did get a lawyer just to help me go over things and to make sure things were being taken care of the right way. If nothing else it gives me peace of mind.

 

[barkley]

if you've got the will and don't know for sure how it's set up you may want to read it privatly first. reason i'm saying this is depending on how it's set up it might not be comfortable for all the parties subject to it (or thinking they are subject to it) to be hearing it for the first time all together.

sometimes people think or have even been told by a parent that a will is structured one way-but upon reading it find it entirely different. learning this can cause shock or upset that sometimes is best dealt without anyone other than the executor present.

we're going to facing this when mil passes. dh is the executor-and while he/i know little about the specifics of who is named and what division of property there is-we do know that his mom upon research learned that leaving anything to one of the sibs would result in that person losing their eligibility to some much needed gov. sponsored med/financial programs. so rather than leave her something that she would blow through in a couple of months and be without support/care for years-she's choosing to exclude her. there will be a letter to that sib from mil to explain her reasoning, but it's not something that i would wish on anyone to be in the same room with her when she learns (she knows these rules, has heard of it in the past-but has convinced herself she can 'get around them'-she is going to go off when she finds out thats not even an option)

hopefully there are no bad surprises in your dad's will-and everyone will take comfort in his decisions.

one thing you may need to look at as executor-since your dad was killed in the course of his employment his medical insurer may require you to go after the employer's workman's comp carrier to pay for the med bills-so you may need to explore how you go about it. your dad's estate may also be eligible for some type of payment from the insurer for his death (some carry automatic payouts in the case of accidental death)-and if he was a member of 3a check his 'membership'-used to be that the 'auto club' portion carried a life insurance benefit for accidental deaths (and since it's not one of the things they advertise like the towing and travel books allot of people are'nt aware of it).

prayers to you and yours.

 

[~Kathie]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Good luck with all you have to do.

 

[Freyja]

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. The loss of a parents is devestating. Can´t offer any help in regards to the will, since policies here in Iceland are very different.

 

[clh2]

One of my BIL's was executor of the estate when my FIL passed away. I do not know if BIL had read the will prior to discussing with the family. Apparently, my FIL had discussed this with BIL a couple of months before he had his heart attack. My husband is one of 8 kids in a family, and 4 lived out of town. So BIL-executor chose to go through the will the morning after the funeral, while all sibs were still in town. BIL also chose to have all spouses present, because FIL liked us all.

This particular will was pretty straight forward, no one got anything "extra", and basically, everything was to be sold, and the proceeds split. The sibs, with the blessing of the executor, took things from the house that they either wanted or needed, and the rest was sold. It was very orderly. Amongst 16 grown adults (8 sibs and 8 spouses) there was not 1 arguement, or disagreement on how things should be handled.

I'm very sorry for your loss, good luck with the will!

 

[Taylors6]

No advice...just so sorry for your loss. Your family is lucky to have such a strong person to handle things.

 

[cocoswife]

I can't help you with the will, but, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Deesknee]

I'm sorry I have no wisdom for you. I did want to extent my sympathy and prayers to all left behind.

 

[pixie dust 112]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose a parent. It's great that he lived such a long life and that when he did pass, it was while doing something he truly enjoyed. I am an attorney and my main area of practice is will drafting and probate. You should call your Dad's lawyer or any lawyer that you are comfortable with. As a previous poster said, the "will reading" is pretty much a movie, tv show thing. Usually the lawyer sends everyone a copy of the will. But there is no reason that you shouldn't share it with everyone now if you want to. I also agree with another previous poster who recommended that you look at it now in case there are funeral instructions. I have had children come to me after a parents funeral and when they look at the will it turns out their parent wanted to be cremated but was already buried or wanted to be burieed and was already creamated. This is absolutely devasting to the families! I encourage my clients, when drafting a will, to not put the funeral instructions in the will for just this reason! I also tell them to please discuss these things with their families.

Your attorney will guide you through this process!