Custodial Parents Child Support Support Group!

[Irin997]

What is going on???

That stinks. My ex seems to pick summertime to be stingy. No excuse when he works in construction. Why do you have to wait so long to call?

Well, the ex is officially one month late/behind and the arrears are up to $12,800+. This is an inter-state case so I have to talk to my state's case worker and they talk to his state's case worker. I have the ability to log into both state's child support account's and his state says they are proceeding with action as of today. However my state told me they need to file a work order which may take up to 20 days to process and to call back on Dec 23.

So that's where I am. Lazy a$$ probably got fired. And like I said, right in time for Christmas. Luckily I'm almost done shopping.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

On my child support case...you know the one where I got 21.87 2 weeks ago. Well my DH filled out paperwork stating that he is only able to get a min wage job and can only find work that will give him 6 hours per week. He is a lic professional and I know that in my town people with the same job lic and skills make about 40k a year (this is in MT whatever you make here you will make double almost anywhere else). So given that ex hates to work I assume he is capable of earning 15-20k a year but no he is earning 280.00 A MONTH!! I could make more recycling cans (well maybe not but you get the idea). Anyway the arrears he owes are pending and he may be grated a financial hardship. This means he will have to pay me 50% of his wages up to 74.00 a month (the current child support). However if he quits his job the current due will just go into arrears and he will not have to pay it for at least a year. Anyway I did get my child support yesterday and it was........
....drum roll please......

$8.13.

 

[Irin997]

$8.13.

Wow, you can't even "dine" at McDonald's for two with those big bucks!!!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I am not exactly sure what to do with that 8.13...that doesn't even cover
DD10 school lunch for a week. I guess it doesn't matter what child support is supposed to be for, does it?

 

[Irin997]

Criminy, school lunch?? I pack DD's everyday because they have the nerve to ask $2 for school lunch...and by the time they sit down they have 15 minutes - maybe - to eat.

 

[disneydreamin247]

Hello all. I've been lurking here for awhile, finally decided to post. Alot of your stories sound the same as mine! There must be a secret class where they tell fathers that mothers are just spending all the CS payments on anything BUT the kids! Gimmie a break. I know my ex thinks that. It can get so frustrating.

I guess I'll give my story. Prior to getting pregnant I was with X for 3 years. We were living together but I wasn't happy. He was a drunk, he'd drink a pint a night and then get very mean and throw things or punch things (not me), just be abusive to the animals and stuff like that. Finally in May of '04 I made him leave. In June of '04 I met someone else and finally was happy. I found out in September I was pregnant. 7 MONTHS pregnant! At first we thought it was my current bf's but then realized it was X's. Frankly I wrestled with calling and telling him then decided I should let him know. First words out of his mouth were "it's not mine" HA! Why would I even go to the trouble if she wasn't his?!?!? So DD is born in December, X came to the hospital afterwards and held her. After Christmas and new years were over we had a DNA test and shocker! DD is his. Then I get a letter from the X's lawyer! He wanted EVERY weekend visitation, wanted to stipulate where DD could spend the night, just wanted to control my life like he had for the 3 years we were together. Thank God my mom had gone thru this with my father. She got me a lawyer and we got me with sole physical custody, he gets every other weekend visitation, and a CS order. His lawyer dinked around for more than a YEAR with this paperwork so I was receiving nothing.

Finally in '07 we all sat down and got CS hammered out. $240/monthly with arrearages going back to June of '06. That rotten bast*rd made me cry at the hearing cause he was saying that DD is dirty when he picks her up and I'm not taking good care of her. All lies. It makes me sick to think that the person I cared about once would stoop to that level. He even said that he was thinking of calling Protective services on me! At the time I signed up DD for preschool and a home aide would come to my house and teach her things. The aide said if something wasn't up to par she was obligated to call PS. She said if push came to shove she'd testify for me.

So for awhile X wouldn't come pick up DD. He'd always have some sort of excuse for not seeing her. Then throw it in my face that I didn't work and that he had to. He said I should be helping out current BF. BF and I have had this discussion and we decided it'd be better for me to stay home until DD started regular school. Finally X got regular work and I get paid kind of regularly. Maybe once a month, sometimes twice. DD cries when she has to go over there on his weekends. I feel so bad that she has to go but there's nothing I can do. It's so hard to try to be the bigger person but I'm trying for DD.

Isn't it the worst feeling that court can tell you what to do with YOUR child that you gave birth to and obviously know what is best for? I swear whenever I go to court and they give my ex his way I cringe. If it was THEM in our situation they would surely not be as careless with the decisions that are made. I can surely sympathize with you and if you ever need to borrow my ear I will gladly listen and offer any advice I have.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Good luck ladies!! I have to say I never received a red cent from my ex. I left when my youngest was 6 months old and his brother was 18 months old. My ex was supposed to pay 50.00/wk per child. 100/week. My youngest turns 24 years old tomorrow!! Oh, ex was also supposed to cover their health insurance and pay for college! I was lucky though, he stayed out of our lives and my boys were better off that way. The system did fail us though. I gave the state of NY all his information, and they never once used it. The amount he owes me before interest and everyting else is just...well...I could do alot with that money! Heck my sons today could do alot with that money!!

It was funny, years later, I had moved to another state...was remarried and had another child, and an old neighbor forwarded me a letter from the Child Support office telling me where they thought he was at the time!! My boys were 13 and 14 I think at this point!! Needless to say..it was his loss and I have 2 find adult sons that I love very much.

Good luck with your struggles!!

 

[Miss Park Avenue]

$8.13.

Oh my word.

Honestly, if this man were collecting unemployment or food stamps, or any kind of state assistance, the government would be all over him to see if he is working under the table, they would be tracking him to see if he were job hunting, making him provide numbers to jobs he applied to. If he was collecting workman's comp, they'd have private eyes sitting outside his house with a camera to see if he decided to put up a new roof or something. But if he owes child support??? Oh goodness, all you can work is six hours a week at minimum wage??? Oh, OK. No problems. I'm sure there are lots of people who live off of $280 each month.

I'm just venting and this is just wishful thinking. But I just wish child support enforcement had the resources to track deadbeats down like welfare agencies did.

That man is a scammer and working under the table. What a bum.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Oh my word.

Honestly, if this man were collecting unemployment or food stamps, or any kind of state assistance, the government would be all over him to see if he is working under the table, they would be tracking him to see if he were job hunting, making him provide numbers to jobs he applied to. If he was collecting workman's comp, they'd have private eyes sitting outside his house with a camera to see if he decided to put up a new roof or something. But if he owes child support??? Oh goodness, all you can work is six hours a week at minimum wage??? Oh, OK. No problems. I'm sure there are lots of people who live off of $280 each month.

I'm just venting and this is just wishful thinking. But I just wish child support enforcement had the resources to track deadbeats down like welfare agencies did.

That man is a scammer and working under the table. What a bum.

Oh I know he is working under the table. He has always done this. Not only does he make over 50% of his income under the table he also lies on his tax return and will show even less...it is hard to explain but MANY, MANY years ago when I was with him he claimed he made 40K less than he actually did. He never got caught. He never does. No matter what he does, or how bad it is a slap on the wrist is his harshest punishment...if it is even that.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well I finally got a hold of my case worker. Ex is required to pay 81.74 a months (40.87 a paycheck). So since my current child support is 74.00 he pays 7.74 each month toward the 2600 in arrears. So it will take him 8 years to pay that off. If he decides to file taxes (which I doubt) I will get that but I am not holding my breath. She then asked if I want to get it increased...I figured what the heck. It can't hurt (but it probably won't do any good anyway. The 8.13 that I received was 50% of his last paycheck so that was all they could take.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I thought I would give this thread a bump. With it being the Christmas season...not to mention the current economy...I thought we could all use a friend to talk to.
Have a great day ladies.

 

[disneydreamin247]

I had my visitation case this morning. The donor didn't show because he has a new job. Let's hope he still has it when I go for CS next week. He still hasn't made any payments.

I also brought my court order over to the CS office for them to update my account and add the $1300 in arrears since they haven't done it since our last date which was in September. This time the woman took and so I know it will be done. She isn't friendly but she's thorough which is fine by me!

 

[Irin997]

I'm basically just waiting (impatiently) until I can call my case worker on the 23rd to find out what enforcment action will be taken.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well I must be real stupid. I talked with my case worker because I thought that the 81.74 (when he owes 2600 arrears) was too low. She told me that he has a court order to withhold 175.00 a month. When I asked her why I wasn't getting 175.00 a month she told me that they average the whole year. So since there will be some months with 3 paychecks in them it adds up to 175.00 a month. I did the math there is no way 40.74 every other week will ever add up to 175 average (or 2100 a year). I guess I didn't take the same kind of math classes case worker did.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Well I must be real stupid. I talked with my case worker because I thought that the 81.74 (when he owes 2600 arrears) was too low. She told me that he has a court order to withhold 175.00 a month. When I asked her why I wasn't getting 175.00 a month she told me that they average the whole year. So since there will be some months with 3 paychecks in them it adds up to 175.00 a month. I did the math there is no way 40.74 every other week will ever add up to 175 average (or 2100 a year). I guess I didn't take the same kind of math classes case worker did.

Must be some new wave math they are using because it doesn't make sense to me either. What happened to them awarding an amount per week instead of per month? That seems like it would be a lot clearer...but then that would be way too easy I suppose.

 

[Irin997]

Well I must be real stupid. I talked with my case worker because I thought that the 81.74 (when he owes 2600 arrears) was too low. She told me that he has a court order to withhold 175.00 a month. When I asked her why I wasn't getting 175.00 a month she told me that they average the whole year. So since there will be some months with 3 paychecks in them it adds up to 175.00 a month. I did the math there is no way 40.74 every other week will ever add up to 175 average (or 2100 a year). I guess I didn't take the same kind of math classes case worker did.

Yeah, the only way this would work out is if he had $81.74 withheld bi-weekly versus $40.74. $81.74 bi-weekly works out to be $2,125.24. Perhaps this case worker hasn't taken ANY math classes??

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well wish me luck. I have decided to file for a modification review. The child support was calculated at 74.00 (Montana does not take into consideration how much it costs to raise a child only how much the noncustodial makes or is capable of making) 10 years ago.

I was going to wait since I thought that I was going to get 50% of his takehome and I wasn't going to seek more on top of that until the arrears was paid (hear that dads and stepmoms a biomom with a conscience).

Since my state is making him pay all of the current amount but only 6.00 a month toward the arrears I figured I should go ahead and file. Wish me luck.....although with my luck and his ability to get away with murder I will probably owe him money.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Well wish me luck. I have decided to file for a modification review. The child support was calculated at 74.00 (Montana does not take into consideration how much it costs to raise a child only how much the noncustodial makes or is capable of making) 10 years ago.

I was going to wait since I thought that I was going to get 50% of his takehome and I wasn't going to seek more on top of that until the arrears was paid (hear that dads and stepmoms a biomom with a conscience).

Since my state is making him pay all of the current amount but only 6.00 a month toward the arrears I figured I should go ahead and file. Wish me luck.....although with my luck and his ability to get away with murder I will probably owe him money.

Good luck! I felt sorry for my ex a lot over the years too and didn't file for more support as a result. I did the same thing...worried about taking too much of his pay and how he would survive, but in the end it didn't get me anywhere, except that my ex owes me 30K now. I have an order where he pays $28 per week towards the arrears, so I figure by the time I have great grand children he may be paid up. It sounds like with the $6 per month your ex pays, you'll be in the same boat. I hope you do okay with the modification. I hate going to court and even when you know your right...you still worry what the outcome will be cause the courts can be crazy. Lots of luck! Let us know how it goes.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Good luck! I felt sorry for my ex a lot over the years too and didn't file for more support as a result. I did the same thing...worried about taking too much of his pay and how he would survive, but in the end it didn't get me anywhere, except that my ex owes me 30K now. I have an order where he pays $28 per week towards the arrears, so I figure by the time I have great grand children he may be paid up. It sounds like with the $6 per month your ex pays, you'll be in the same boat. I hope you do okay with the modification. I hate going to court and even when you know your right...you still worry what the outcome will be cause the courts can be crazy. Lots of luck! Let us know how it goes.

Thanks. I may not have to go to court. There is a review board that will review all my info and look into his info. If I get approved they will send a new order for the judge to sign. If ex want to fight it he has to go through the board first and give then a reason why he can't pay more. He has no bills and doesn't pay child support to his other kids so he really doesn't have an excuse. Not wanting to work isn't an excuse. So we will see. BTW we should save our arrears and we could meet up at WDW with our great great great grandchildren

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Although the payments were small I did receive them every other Monday. They were updated to my account by 10pm. Well this week there wasn't anything. I called my case worker and she told me that they never received a payment (the are from income withholdings). I then asked what happens now. She then told me I guess they aren't sending a payment this week. I then asked is it ok to send them on some pay periods and not others? She then told me it wasn't really ok but if his work "forgets" there isn't really anything they can do. My first thought was that he quit. So I called his work (from a number no one would know) and they actually gave me his schedule this week. So he is working...he is getting paid...but they aren't paying me.

******
I just found out for the case worker that handles DD visits..he wasn't going to visit this week complaining to the case worker that he is too poor..called her back and scheduled telling her that he just got paid and his check was more than he planned.