Ok, what this chapter lacks in quality, it's made up for in quantity.
Don't worry about it... quantity is good. and we're used to the lack of quality already, so that works.
I even considered copy and pasting some of Ponzi's report over here since we're all confused anyway over who's writing what,,, but then you'd expect quality All the time,,,,,,
You want quality, you better copy Laura's TR, not mine. Hey! You should do that! Then people wouldn't know which of
three TRs they're reading.
I never did find the little kid walking funny with only one shoe, how does that happen? Didn't mom and dad notice he's missing a shoe and go back?
There's a rule about kids blowing a shoe. The parent will not notice the missing shoe until either a) There is absolutely
no way of knowing when or where it might've gone missing; or b) They are far enough away that going back for the missing shoe would cost more than buying new ones.
I don't make the rules. Don't blame me.
Oh, I looked all right, ,,, Was that a childhood poem?
"Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John, one shoe off and one shoe on..."
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
Went to bed with the DISboards on.
one shoe off and one shoe on.
Wanting Nebo to write on and on.
No, don't answer, it's not going to loook good either way. You don't want to use the words Diddle with kids nowadays, even in childish rhymes.
Great!
Now you tell me!
I think one of them held ten clowns.
... in a Volkswagen... in a carryon.
Then I looked closely at my boarding pass and see we board in Group 8.
That doesn't sound good to me.
Group 8 means, "Honey, as soon as they announce 7 we gotta get up and 'hover' near the end of the line."
We have heard stories of people who had to check their carryons because by the time they boarded, there was no overhead bin room left.
Haven't heard those stories... but I wouldn't be surprised. I
have seen people who carry on entire bedroom suites and use up all the available space... then the poor schmuck with the teeny tiny bag comes on and has to sit with this thing taking up what little foot room he had under the seat in front of him. (I
hate that)
I mentioned to Smidgy, "I wonder how many boarding groups there are?", and she went up to the pulpit to ask the woman standing there.
Yes, not a counter, just a pulpit.
Makes it easier to give the eulogy when the plane explodes on takeoff. (see Final Destination)
I've always thought of it as praying, "Please, please don't be delayed or cancelled."
But explosions are good too.
Praying not to have one, I mean.
She sat down and pulled out a magazine, i worked on my staring into space.
How does one 'work' at doing nothing.
"No, Steve. You're foot's twitching. Try again."
"Nope. Still no good. Your eyes are moving in a non-random pattern."
"Good, Steve! You even had a little drool go down your chin! You're improving!"
Shouldn't that be, "Oh, my back!"
Lots of kids on this flight, yep, this is a Disneyworld flight allright.
Nothing better than a plane full of kids. Especially real little ones. Especially if they're screaming. Especially if they sit beside you.
Just ask Bill Cosby.
I mention this to Smidgy, who is now disturbed thtat I interrupted her reading, who looks around, says:
"Orlando is a big convention town, maybe a lot of employees have just brought there families with them to enjoy the pools."
Oh, of course. That's probably what it is.
There was a 3 year old who kept running into me,
"So, what convention are you here to attend?"
He didn't answer me.
Never talk to strangers
Never accept candy from strangers
Never accept a ride from a stranger
Nope. Nothing in there about running into, and causing bodily harm to, strangers.
As I'm looking around, a man with sunglasses and holding a harness to a Guide Dog walks by.
Ah! So
that's the dog you mentioned. I've always wondered, if a guide dog gets tired and lies down for a nap at an intersection. Does the guidee just stand there?
"Well, our Pilot is here" I told Smidgy.
She glanced up from her Redbook, barely made eye contact with the seeing eye dog and looked back down at her page, slowly shaking her head.
So let me get this straight. When interacting with a blind person, do you have to make eye contact with the guide dog?
Normally, I prefer in front of the wings, but when we booked, the seats weren't available,
I don't care for in front of the wings. I prefer inside the fuselage.
But maybe that's just me.
so we took the same seats on both flights,,,, Row 28, seats D and F.
Do you see something strange there?
Like, what happened to E?
Actually, no. When we flew out of/in to Winnipeg last time, I noticed that the seats were A,C, D, F. No B, no E. Here's a link to show you what I mean.
http://www.seatguru.com/airlines/United_Airlines/United_Airlines_Embraer_EMB-170.php
So I figured that was the same deal that you had.
Well, it's like this:
We both get claustro in the plane, and we both deal with it in different ways.
She likes the openness of an aisle seat, I like to press my face in the window looking outside.
This means some poor sap is going to have to sit between us.
Me! Me! Let it be me! I can torment
both of you for the duration...
at the same time!
Who wants to come watch Nebo and I spar while Smidgy rolls her eyes?
At a monitor at the gate, I saw that our flight is sold out, and there's actually a standby list of at least 6 people on it.
I never understood this:
people go to the airport and don't know if they have a seat on a flight or not?
Let me explain. One of the guys at work's wife works for an airline. He travels to WDW a few times a year (among other places). If my family of four travels to MCO it costs about $2700. If my friend's family of four travels to MCO it costs him about $330.
Only once has he not gotten out the day they wanted. So it cost them $100 for a hotel for that night. So what? The savings for just that one flight saved them so much that the cost for the hotel is insignificant.
'nuff said?
Anyway, somehow, we really, really, got lucky.
All right, Smidgy!!
Nobody came and took the seat between us,
Oh. That's what you meant when you said, "Got lucky."
nevermind
We were both now able to talk with ease, and turn side saddle in the seat and stretch a bit that ways.
nice.
At last, we' are rolling, and once again, my heart is in my throat: More accidents happen during takeoff than any other time.
Really? I would've thought it was landing. I got curious enough and found this:
http://www.1001crash.com/index-page-statistique-lg-2-numpage-3.html
I have no idea if the results are accurate, but there you go.
This is also the most common time for birds to end up inside looking out of the jet engines.
Yes, but with every pair of geese ingested, you get a free plane wash in the Hudson river.
Actually, I just heard on the news a day or two ago that they've decided to kill all the non-migratory geese in the area.
A long time ago, one of them started playing there own version of 'chicken', so now they all have to see who can get the closest to the engine without getting sucked in.
Ever see the Far Side cartoon, "Rusty's in the club"?
In may of 1979, we had one of the worst ever disasters here at O'hare,,, flight 191 I believe, and I'm pretty sure I heard it crash, it happened on my way home from work and I was only a couple miles from it.
I do remember AAL191. It was one of a series of accidents involving DC10s, and one of the worst, if not
the worst.
And that one
was on take off.
Well, in all fairness, I suppose a Single Seat Cessna airplane fatality is a major disaster if you're the one sitting in the single seat at the time.
How does somebody train somebody else in a single seat plane, anyway?
"Here's the keys,,, remember, land on TOP of the ground, not INTO the ground."
Words to live by...
I didn't think this was funny in the slightest, it's what I would call a "double kiss". The plane got off the ground, then came back down only to lift off for good a second later.
What the heck was that?
Ok,
that's never happened to me before. Bouncy landings, yes. But bouncy
take offs???
I half expected to hear the Captain on the intercom,
"Come bounce with me!"
let's bounce, let's bounce away
If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar up here today
Come bounce with me, let's bounce, let's bounce away
"What, is there more weight in here than you thought?"
Must be that big fat guy across the aisle.
That's always puzzled me. They weigh the bags... but not the passengers?
I'm sorry, m'am. But even though it looks like you weigh 80 pounds soaking wet we have to charge you $100 'cause your bag is 51 pounds.
Next!
My goodness! You're a big boy! Aren't you? What? Pro Sumo wrestler? Interesting. You're bag is 49 pounds. You're good to go!
I' m also starting to rethink my window seating idea;
It's good for the first two minutes of the flight and the last 5 minutes before you land, interesting views,,, but in between?
Not much to look at.
But you can see your house... even if you won't wave.
I am still always surprised that when you leave on a cloudy or rainy day,,, that,,,,
Did you know it's sunny on the other side of the clouds?
How is that?
That's so weird! When we went through clouds it was really dark above them... at 10pm.
His touchdown landing was actually smoother than the take off, and now I can honestly say, I still have never been in an airplane lavatory. That's another thing I never understood, it's not that long a flight, unless you have internal difficulties, don't you go first?
A few times, after a really long flight (like 6 - 7 hours) I like to splash some water on my face just to freshen up.
Of course ending a vacation is kinda sad. Once I did that and the flight attendant asked me why I was blue.
Oooh,, I just had a chilling thought:
Eating at Ohana and then getting on a long flight.
Thanks for the visual!
Isn't it alwyas amazing how long it takes everybody in front of you to get off the damn plane?
"Hey, grab your bag, and MOVE."
I can't stand that. Just get your bag... quickly... and GET OFF. Do you really need to start checking your bag
now? If whatever you're rummaging around for wasn't in there when you got on the plane, it ain't gonna be there now.
They were from Philly,, which we know because they could only yell when they talked to each other.
I knew when I read this that you were going to get it from somebody.
And I was right.
Our line is for All Stars and Coronado Springs,,,that's where this bus is going,,and I had no doubts at all this "familly" was going to Sports, hoping to stay in the "Coon Hunting" section,no doubt.
There was about seven of them, mom went about 250 in a tank top, kids were all multi racial,,,, and I mean Multi,,,I think two guys with were responsible for some kids,,,, and th most normal looking one was grandma in a wheelchair.
When you think of the phrase, "trailer park trash" you can't help but think that somewhere there's a tornado that didn't do it's job!
Can
not believe you just said that!
Having had our carryons with us really helped since they had to wait for the driver to unload their bags from under the bus, so we bolted to registration.
Bolted? You're nuts!
Ten more minutes goes by, and I'm now hanging onto the counter with my chin, my back hurts so much.
Perfect time for some exercise! Chin-ups!
And it's HOT..hot, hot hot,,, and I'm wearing jeans and my Chicago jacket,,,, hot hot hot.
Me back on fire, me foot on fire
Feelin' hot hot hot
Party people, all around me
Feelin hot hot hot
We grab a table and a couple of loungers, and immediately I start peeling off layers.
Down to just my jeans, I look down and realize I look like Dustin Hoffman on the cover of "The Graduate."
Just one more visual I didnt need.
Which, of course, is locked! You need a room key card to get in the quiet pool bathrooms, not kidding.
Well
yeah. We dont want the riff raff stealing a roll of toilet paper. They paid over $23,000 to be there
you
know theyre going to go for the toilet gold.
When I'm back at the table, Smidgy says "Where are your jeans?"
Drop trou in the bathroom. Forget to pull em back up. Im a little concerned for you my friend.
I'm starting to lose it, now.
Starting?
THere is ALWAYS a drinking fountain outside EVERY Disney bathroom, whether in the parks or at the resorts,,, always, always,,, ad infinitum,,,, BOOK IT!
Okay! OKAY! Sheesh. Theres a fountain outside every Disney bathroom. Are you happy now?
And,,,,,
I can't find a drinking fountain.
Im curious, just what do you think comes out of the taps in the Disney bathroom without a fountain?
I completely circled the building, which wasn't easy since the front had to be accessed by leaving the pool grounds and going down the steps to the main walkway and enter through the Laundry area.
Which I couldn't do because THIS DOOR IS LOCKED TOO!
Well yeah! Somebody could go in there and
do some illegal money laundering.
Or something.
There, about knee high to a Nebo,,, in the piping is a small fountain sticking out of the pipe. I tried it, and it worked, so I popped them both in my mouth, and took them down with 120 degree scalding genuine Florida water.
Right. But the tap in the bathroom is a no no.
Check.
Yes,, you read that right, even though it's for young adults,,, AARP recommended it, and I bought Hunger Games for the trip.
So is
everyone reading these books???
Me too.
Only,,,,, I"M Reading it first this time!
I bought the set for DD11. Then waited
and waited
luckily she whipped through book three before I broke down and bought another.
For the record,,, I was disappointed with the movie,,, I don't like the shaky camera thing going on a lot now,,, and I really hate when they can't leave a camera on one thing for more than 2 seconds without changing views,,, I hate, hate, hate,,, that.
I believe it started with the Blair Witch Project
which made a ton of cash
so that means its gotta be used by
everybody
One of the greatest movie scenes ever,,, is of George Bailey sitting at the bar in Martini's,,,, the camera view is right at his face and you can tell the weight of the whole world in on his shoulders, as he clutches his hands to his chin and just stares straight ahead, not knowing what in the world he is going to do about the missing money, and his eyes fill up with tears as the camera still stays on his face, maybe moving in slowly,,,,,,
Great shot!
Great movie. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. A classic.
They could never film something like that now, no way would it have the same devastating effect.
True. Very true. They just dont make them like that anymore.
That and Plan 9 from Outer Space.
Back together,,, I told her that, well,,, we've been lucky so many times now,,, I guess it was time to get a clinker room.
Nope,,,, that wasn't going to wash with her on this day:
Because the laundry room is locked. That makes sense.
Next time I looked up into the sun to see her standing there,,,,she was Sylvester,,,, and I could tell it was too late to hold services for Tweety Bird.
I guess all those bull dogs werent around that time.
So she asked him if he had anything in 8-A,, like she kept trying to get the original girl to check out.
He did,, it also wasn't ready yet, but it was going to be and upgrade to a Lagoon/lake view,,, and boy,,, was it!
She shoots! She scores!
Coming up,,,, more on our plans,,, yes,,,, the stupid video of showing where our room is again,,, since the last time at CBR went over so well,,,,,did you know we had a corner room there? And,,,,, what at one time was my favorite band,,,, that we saw in concert.
What? A corner room? Why have you kept this to yourself all this time?
Thanks for the chapter!
BUAHAHAHA
