Franklin, northern Alabama, early on the first night on the road and we call it quits while it's still light out.
It's quiet. Too quiet...
Sorry.
50 bucks, plus t ax and "resort fee". Always love the resort fee, fees.
Smacks of bait and switch doesn't it?
Besides... it's a Best Western... in Franklin, Alabama. This qualifies as a 'resort'??
"Excuse me, what is the resort fee for?"
"Oh, use of the pool, wi-fi, continental breakfast, parking, things like that."
What. A. Load. Of. Crap.
"Tell you what, why don't you fill in your pool, discontinue the wi-fi, stop serving breakfast and don't provide parking, things like that. You know what you'll have? A hotel with zero vacancy. Or, just keep the 'resort fee' and people will avoid your establishment in droves and you'll get the same result."
You may have noticed that 'resort fees' make me
"Your brochure" and I pulled it forward again in front of him, "says right here, Free Continental Breakfast". I had him
and I could'nt wait to watch him squirm now;
uh uh, not to be.
"It is free, it's included in the resort fee!"
Apparently intelligence is not a pre-requisite for Best Western hotel clerk.
The scary thing was, he was sincere about it, and I quickly realized this isn't going to go anywhere favorable so I dropped it.
Some times you just know a lost cause when you see it.
The way some folks minds work truly can unnerve me and make me think that any further contact with my own species is something that should be avoided.
Never underestimate the capacity for a person to do something truly ignorant.
Smidgy can read the room numbers better than I, so she is now driving.
I don't get that. Why not let her worry about navigating and looking at room numbers while
you drive?
"Okay Smidgy, you look for room numbers and I'll take care of not running over curbs and Best Western employees who aren't smart enough to get out of the way."
She pulls up at 181 and parks, goes to open the door so of course i ask her why.
Well, of course. It would be much simpler to just say the correct room number.
But where's the fun in that???
I do stuff like that all the time. It makes her angry. Which of course only encourages me to do it again.
I'm easily amused.
Hey! Maybe
that's why I read your TRs!
Then she responded like she always does if we disagree:
"Is too!" she yelled at me.
Ah. There it is. The requisite response. A classic. Like a fine whine, it only gets better with age. There's only one thing missing to make it perfect...
"Is not" I cleverly replied.
... and there it is.
Normally, if there is a question about who heard something better, her or me, 99 out of a hundred times, I defer to her superior ears.
Un less I say I know I'm right. Sometimes I just know for sure what was said, and that's that, somtimes there is just no question about the answer, you just know what it is.
That's very similar to the way DW and I operate. She too is correct 99% of the time. Unless I'm sure about something.
Then she's still right until proven... less right, but not wrong.
I'm still wrong, but in a different way.
Of course this was not an option, and it got me a bunch of free drinks from these morons that didn't believe me, again, sometimes you just know without a doubt what tthe right answer is.
See, right there I'm ahead. We only have 14 capital cities in Canada.
And people still get 'em wrong.
Now, you realize that it is going to be with extra self control employed not to gloat or give an "I told you so" comment, or even an " I told you so" look, and i didn't.
Sometimes, just keeping silent can be more effective. They 'know' they're wrong... and your silence just grates on them. "When's he going to say it? I know he's going to. When? When, darn it!?!?"
And I was right with her when we marched right back into the lobbv again, wasn't about to let her pull the old switherooey on my now.
Good call.
But before we left the lobby again this time, a woman came behind the counter and told us not to worry about he Mexicans, they have to get out at nine oclock so they won't keep us up late tonight making noise.
I'm sorry, that just struck me as funny. "We have a mariachi band that insists on playing underneath your room window every night. But they go away when it gets dark."
No manhattan ever tastes better than the one at the end of the driving day.
I've never had a Manhattan and had to look up the recipe. Do you do the whole nine yards with the bitters and/or cherry too? No, not being facetious, I really am curious about how much work you put into these things when you're on the road. To me, just bringing the two bottles would be a lot of work. YMMV.
And yes, we are at least going to sit by the pool now, and I'm also going to try and get my money's worth out of the ice machine
Well, yeah. You paid a resort fee didn't you?
And 632 Mexican children next to us in the playground and sprinkler area all screaming in Spanish, whos parents are in the banquet hall.
And not
one of these kids is in the pool??? I would've thought that at least 618 of 'em would've been. Pools are like magnets to kids.
Ah, time for the first picture of the report, meet the lovely and talented Smidgy, aka Diane.
Nice shot!
DW hadn't seen a picture of Diane yet, so I called her over. Her comment? "She looks like fun!"
Nebo likes Cheetohs,,, especially the crunchy ones.
pkondz does not like Cheetohs,,, especially the crunchy ones.
There. Proof positive that we are not the same person. It only took 3 or 4 TRs to prove it.
Oh, and I was considerate enough to remember to take a picture of our gourmet dinner that evening:
Ummm.... I'm not sure if that qualifies as 'food porn'.
Just sayin'
Now, it is very possible that this picture is from the following night, I won't know until I see the dates,
Yup. The date for the food pic says the 30th. Plus the dead Heath bar is on the table, too.
I feel like Sherlock Holmes.
No, I didn't want one at the time, but I thought if I didn't wait TOO long, it would be ok for a while in the cooler.
I had a very similar experience the first time I drove down back in '87. I believe we were in Chattanooga and I had a craving for fried chicken. I ordered a bucket thinking that I'd have some now and put the rest in the cooler for a cold chicken snack later. Later became the next day... after a lot of the ice had melted... into water... My chicken was in a plastic bag... a not so waterproof plastic bag. When I took the chicken out for my snack, I found a bag full of wet chicken parts suspended in a slurry of bread-y water.
Gross.
Or when General Custer yelled out to his troops:
"Men, over that hill I've heard there are FREINDLY Indians!"
Ever see "Little Big Man" with Dustin Hoffman?
Weather Channel says it should be basically dry until the usual possible late afternoon Tstorms in central Florida.
And you believed it????
5 miles outside of B-Ham, it started to rain.
Well.... of course it did.
Everybody does the exact opposite of what they are supposed to be doing!
Start with reverseing the numbers in the speed limit signs,,,
Oooh, I hate when they reverse '55'.
:
you pass on the right, switching lanes has to be kept a secret until the last second, and turn signals are used to send text messages in Morse code!
Huh. Sounds like my DDad. Just add the requirement to never,
ever, shoulder check and you've got him pegged.
"Diane, what did you use to wash the windshield with?"
" I couldn't find the Windex, so I used vinegar and water,"she told me.
As I was peering through the streaks trying to find my lane I kind of lost it:
"What?"
"You used a salad dressing to wash the windows with?"
"What, were we out of Thousand Island?"
"Steve, any housecleaner will tell you that vinegar is the best thing to use for washing windows."
"That may be, but we're not taking a house on the highway at 70 miles per hour when you're done! Something is making them smear."
So how sure are you that it was the salad dressing? I'd heard that vinegar and water's the best too. Although to be fair, I've never used it on my windshield.
Stopped for a free oj at the Florida welcome center and Smidgy picked up a bunch of motel coupon books.
I hear so many people saying they have to stop for the free OJ. But I've never done it. Too much get-there-itis I guess.
I DO know the bill came to 56 bucks total,, once again we went OVER my 50 dollar allotment, but I like the motel better than the Best Western we were just at.
Nice price. And I'd like it better, too.
No resort fee.
Sitting at the table outside I let her beat me at a game of Rummy 250. At least I'm getting smarter at this game now;
we used tp have to play till 500 before she would beat me, that just prolonged my agony.
Maybe you should've picked a different game.... like yahtzee.
Real men wear 'staches and don't care that it makes them look like '70s porn stars.
Note to self: ice cream does not last long in a cooler.
Neither does fried chicken.
We took our time the next morning, and got to Kissimmee around noon, we still have one more night to kill before we can check into AKL, but in Kissimmee, there are almost too many choices as to where to stay, and after this trip, do I need to start making my decisions on proximity to a hospital?
see ya later crocodile
Excellent choice. Gatorland zoo. No?
Thanks for the chapter, dude!
I'm dying laughing about crunching the Cheetos when others are trying to sleep on vacation. I'm guilty of that too! I don't like regular Cheetos,though. Gotta be the crunchy ones.
I wish I had known, I would have rented you a room for less than $50! Or at least bought you a drink 
