Cruise Ship Etiquette?

[flexsmom]

Firstly, just wanted to say that I am enjoying this thread and it is good to get suggestions around behaviour that I may not have considered.

I just wanted to make people aware about reprimanding other people's children if they do not approve of their behaviour - on a cruise or otherwise.

My son has aspergers. If you looked at him you would have no idea that he has this disabilty. His behaviour can at times be challenging and may cause adults to look at him and label him a 'naughty boy', which he is most certainly not. As I am aware of these issues, I make a point of supervising him as much as is humanly possible. However, I also have a toddler and I simply cannot do it all!

Comments/looks made by strangers (although maybe done with the best intentions) do not help and actually increase a very stressful situation. So please no 'teacher' looks or comments made - please think that you have no idea if a child has such a disabilty!

In the situation outlined before, the young boys weren't being supervised by any adults, so in my opinion, the "it takes a village" approach of adults reminding children what appropriate behavior is seems totally appropriate, whether one of them has a hidden disability or not. If a child has a hidden disability such as yours, then I doubt you'd allow him to head out with a bunch of other kids alone, and if you did believe he was ready for that, then it's reasonable to believe that other adults would call the kids on their behavior if they were getting rambunctious. Kids need to learn how to behave appropriately even when not supervised - I don't necessarily think 100% constant parent-over-shoulder is the way for them to learn that - but I appreciate knowing that other adults will remind kids that running in hallways, or yelling/screaming in the hallways, or any other host of typical stuff that kids-in-packs do when they get exuberant - needs to be dialed down a notch.

That said - if a child is acting up and the parents are right there - even if they aren't or can't deal with it at that time (as you reference there are times when no parent can do it all!), then that's another story. I'm more prone to step in and comment to children who are by themselves and will leave the parenting to the parents when they are there and just overwhelmed.....been there, done that, and totally agree that sometimes I appreciate the patience of other adults when I was having to deal with one and not the other!

Rounding back to the OPs question - I do see a lot of parents-helping-parents on cruises, from that "ettiquette" question, especially around the pool. I've seen adults helping kids stand up after they slip/fall, pointing out where the drinks are, helping kids reach the cups, reminding them not to re-use the cups, you-name-it.

 

[MommaMouse411]

since i travel with toddlers...

I wish people didn't rush the elevators when I've been clearly standing there waiting for an empty elevator to fit my stroller/kids and I...I always let the people who are standing first in when I need to use an elevator....but maybe that's not how it goes? you snooze you lose? I think I spent most of my time battling people/elevators. (and you know the ships elevators are small already!!)

I also and again this is just me, but when I see a character roaming I ask if I can take a picture with them. Some parents have literally pushed their kids into the characters and My kids and I will be standing there. Its like I'm not going to bum rush the character...Especially Stitch..he seems to roam around alot on Castaway Cay...and luckily I asked him and he came and hung out with us and paid attention to my kids more than the parents who were following him around. and I also try to take cues from the characters..sometimes they move the kids through quick and sometimes they like to play with them for awhile. But I don't take advantage of their time or others who are waiting.m

 

[Makayna]

Firstly, just wanted to say that I am enjoying this thread and it is good to get suggestions around behaviour that I may not have considered.

I just wanted to make people aware about reprimanding other people's children if they do not approve of their behaviour - on a cruise or otherwise.

My son has aspergers. If you looked at him you would have no idea that he has this disabilty. His behaviour can at times be challenging and may cause adults to look at him and label him a 'naughty boy', which he is most certainly not. As I am aware of these issues, I make a point of supervising him as much as is humanly possible. However, I also have a toddler and I simply cannot do it all!

Comments/looks made by strangers (although maybe done with the best intentions) do not help and actually increase a very stressful situation. So please no 'teacher' looks or comments made - please think that you have no idea if a child has such a disabilty!

First of all, if a child is about to run into me in a hallway and isn't looking where he's going, I have the right to say, in a polite and friendly voice, "watch out buddy." (and then I smile). If a child is, for instance, taking magnets off my door, I have a right to say, again in a nice and friendly voice, "that's not yours, so please don't take it." If there are no parents around, and they are doing things that affect ME, then I have the right to do these things. I would NEVER reprimand a child and it's always done in a nice voice. But again, if there's no parents around, then what's a person to do when a child is doing something that negatively affects them?!

 

[mmouse37]

Please do not turn this thread into a parenting discussion...it is for cruise etiquette tips only.

Thanks,

MJ

 

[jdb in AZ]

Etiquette for door decorations: In addition to using magnets instead of tape and glue, some kids need to be reminded to leave the decorations alone. Yes, it's easy to pull off those cute magnets as you run past, but it would be nice if everybuddy respected everyone else's property.

 

[Cerberus9]

Firstly, just wanted to say that I am enjoying this thread and it is good to get suggestions around behaviour that I may not have considered.

I just wanted to make people aware about reprimanding other people's children if they do not approve of their behaviour - on a cruise or otherwise.

My son has aspergers. If you looked at him you would have no idea that he has this disabilty. His behaviour can at times be challenging and may cause adults to look at him and label him a 'naughty boy', which he is most certainly not. As I am aware of these issues, I make a point of supervising him as much as is humanly possible. However, I also have a toddler and I simply cannot do it all!

Comments/looks made by strangers (although maybe done with the best intentions) do not help and actually increase a very stressful situation. So please no 'teacher' looks or comments made - please think that you have no idea if a child has such a disabilty!

Are you suggesting that we ignore badly behaving children because there's an off-chance that one of them may have an uncommon situation? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that.

I can certainly sympathize with your situation. Our son becomes inordinately upset and apoplectic when confronted with stressful situations (such as being admonished for inappropriate behaviour). We don't yet know what the root cause is; we're in the process of getting our son medically and psychologically assessed. As you're well aware, when this occurs, it makes for an extremely unpleasant experience for him, us, and anyone unfortunate enough to witness his outbursts.

However, if a situation arose where he was behaving inappropriately, and we were either not around or not addressing it ourselves, I would certainly hope that someone would step in and firmly (but politely) reprimand him. In the same vein, if I see a child behaving inappropriately, I'm not going to refrain from saying anything just because there's an off-chance that his or her situation might be "unique".

I hope this doesn't sound harsh (that's certainly not the intent).

 

[mmouse37]

Again, this is not to turn into a parenting thread....let's all just drop it. Poster was only pointing out a potential situation and that's it...no one should assume they meant this or that or read more into than what it is.

Anymore posts related to parenting will be deleted.

MJ

 

[Cerberus9]

Again, this is not to turn into a parenting thread....let's all just drop it. Poster was only pointing out a potential situation and that's it...no one should assume they meant this or that or read more into than what it is.

Anymore posts related to parenting will be deleted.

MJ

Understood. My apologies for veering off-topic.

 

[Zandy595]

I want to say this in the nicest way... Please try not to bring a gigantic stroller on the ship. Some spaces (stateroom hallways, elevators) just aren't big enough for these.

Also, please watch where you're going. I had just had surgery on my toe before one of our cruises and someone backed up into me and stepped on that same toe.

 

[Cerberus9]

I want to say this in the nicest way... Please try not to bring a gigantic stroller on the ship. Some spaces (stateroom hallways, elevators) just aren't big enough for these.

Also, please watch where you're going. I had just had surgery on my toe before one of our cruises and someone backed up into me and stepped on that same toe.

I'm always tempted to buy one of those, dress up a couple of 10 pound bags of sugar as if they were children and bundle them up inside, and then push it in front of me where ever I go as a form of "crowd dispersal".

 

[efinn88858]

I think one post was confusing etiquette with atmosphere of the ship, where it really is more to do with personal actions.

Behave as you would anywhere else..common courtesy goes a long way!!! I have a book I got as a gift a long, long time ago called "The Essential Little Cruise Book". It is written by a cruise director and gives general cruising tips and does have a section on ship etiquette. I have listed them below...again these are general etiquette tips and I paraphrased some of them. Not everyone will agree with all of them and may feel they don't pertain to DCL but here they are.

Never go up to the Captain when you see him around the ship and ask "Who's driving the boat"?....he's heard it a thousand times and it gets old quick.

Don't leave your laundry in the machines and not come back for it.

Don't leave your personal belongings on deck chairs to save them for later. They are for everyone and unless you are ready to use them don't leave stuff on them.

Don't walk around the ship in your bathing suit without a cover up and don't walk the halls in your nightie and curlers.

Don't drape towels and clothing on the verandah railing (makes the ship look tacky).

Always be polite when asking for something from the staff. Always smile and make eye contact.

Be modest in your attire, not everyone needs to see every bump and bulge.

Respect crew only areas (the ship is also their home and how would you feel if strangers were pushing their way into your living room).

Don't sit in the first row at the show and doze off....people behind you can be distracted by your bobbing head and the performers won't appreciate people dozing during the show.

Be discreet with your money and personal wealth. Nobody really cares and being ostentatious is in bad taste.

When leaving your cabin don't let the doors slam.

To be asked to dine with the Captain is an honor don't ever turn it down.

There is a reason cruise ships don't sell gum....if you bring your own don't stick it where it does not belong (like on the floor or under furniture). Dispose of it properly.

If coming back from muddy excursion, take off your shoes and carry them to room so you don't track mud through the ship

Don't block the elevators, wait until passengers leave the elevator before boarding.

If you encounter a problem seek out a crew member and discreetly explain the problem. Don't bore your fellow passengers with it.

Keep a grip on yourself, don't over indulge in alcohol and be annoying to others.

If the evening calls for formal attire don't change into shorts and t-shirt mid way through.

Never use your hand to touch food on the buffets, always use the tongs provided (or don't put stuff back if you change your mind).

Take a moment to commend the staff if you feel they have done a great job. A pat on the back goes a long way.

And my favorite:

If the sun shines smile, it is rains...smile and look for the rainbow!

MJ

All great etiquette advice! Thank you!

 

[tiggerb]

Just using "Please", "Thank You" or "No Thank You" as well as "Have a nice day" to others goes a long way. It can actually throw people off guard... try it on the phone to a company employee/representative. There's a pause often just because it is unexpected! Those few phrases can change a situation and yet can leave quite the impression @ times!

FYI to whomever this would concern... For me personally, correcting a bad behavior (words only) w/o a parent around or in a group of kids setting is when it may be appropriate. Otherwise, I have been known to have little distractions (toys of some sort) I give to those young-ins who are on overload. I am fortunate enough to work in an integrated classroom and have learned many "adaption" styles and redirection for kids.

 

[kaseyC]

I want to say this in the nicest way... Please try not to bring a gigantic stroller on the ship. Some spaces (stateroom hallways, elevators) just aren't big enough for these.

Also, please watch where you're going. I had just had surgery on my toe before one of our cruises and someone backed up into me and stepped on that same toe.

To add to this. If you must bring the gigantic stroller, please park it in your cabin not in the hallway. The hallways are narrow enough without adding stroller parking. Not to sound harsh, but if it is too big to store in your cabin it's probably too big for the ship.

 

[Theresa-MI]

To add to this. If you must bring the gigantic stroller, please park it in your cabin not in the hallway. The hallways are narrow enough without adding stroller parking. Not to sound harsh, but if it is too big to store in your cabin it's probably too big for the ship.

Well said!!! On my last cruise on the Magic there was a jogger stroller parked right next to our stateroom. Needless to say, we stumbled upon it more than once. Very annoying, indeed!

 

[Sir William]

Always be polite when asking for something from the staff. Always smile and make eye contact.

If you encounter a problem seek out a crew member and discreetly explain the problem. Don't bore your fellow passengers with it.

Take a moment to commend the staff if you feel they have done a great job. A pat on the back goes a long way.

MJ

The staff and crew (or CM) work hard and a little respect and courtesy go a long way.

I like to greet the greeters with a smile and a "good morning" (or whatever), and if I have a problem or complaint I make my case in a reasonable tone. If time permits, I'll ask a CM about their homeland (I travel a lot so I've often been to their country).

As the cruise ends, I make an effort to thank and praise my servers, steward, and others who made the cruise enjoyable. I also note on my comment card any others besides these who were helpful.

 

[Cerberus9]

These are all wonderful; some obvious, and some not so obvious.

What it all boils down to is a very basic concept: contrary to what you hear in the movies or TV, it's not "all about you", and that everyone onboard, from the smallest child to the captain, deserves as much respect as you do. (Yes, it's YOUR vacation, YOU paid for it, but so did everyone else; you're no more (or less) entitled to have a good vacation then they are.)

Respect means considering someone else's beliefs, opinions, culture, language, values, and even presence, even if you don't understand or agree with them. It's usually the little things that show the most respect: general politeness and civility, acknowledgment of others (whether it be a heart-felt "good morning", or a simple nod of the head), consideration of those around you (e.g. not slamming doors or leaving strollers in the passageways(!)), following the established rules (e.g not sending your tween to the theatre a hour before the show starts to save a block of 20 seats for your party who isn't planning to arrive until 2 minutes before).

Respect also manifests itself in ways that you may not understand or agree with, but should at least consider (dress codes at dinner, for example--just because they're not enforced doesn't mean that they can be ignored [why would they even exist if there was no expectation that people would follow them?]; although it may be a slight inconvenience for you, it can make a difference to how others experience the simple act of dining.).

I think that if people gave just a tiny bit more consideration to those around them, they'd find that it not only makes the cruise more enjoyable for others, but it makes the cruise more enjoyable for themselves as well.

 

[Bethshaya]

Firstly, just wanted to say that I am enjoying this thread and it is good to get suggestions around behaviour that I may not have considered.

I just wanted to make people aware about reprimanding other people's children if they do not approve of their behaviour - on a cruise or otherwise.

My son has aspergers. If you looked at him you would have no idea that he has this disabilty. His behaviour can at times be challenging and may cause adults to look at him and label him a 'naughty boy', which he is most certainly not. As I am aware of these issues, I make a point of supervising him as much as is humanly possible. However, I also have a toddler and I simply cannot do it all!

Comments/looks made by strangers (although maybe done with the best intentions) do not help and actually increase a very stressful situation. So please no 'teacher' looks or comments made - please think that you have no idea if a child has such a disabilty!

As a parent of an Aspie myself (DS 17) I kind of disagree. I use those moments as teachable moments. When you have a child that has a challenge in social skills, any moment that you can teach them a new social skill is a good one.

I've been through the over-sensitivity melt downs, and most of the time it was my fault because I missed all the clues he was giving me of his "overload" before it happened.

The challenge growing up with him was being able to identify the real behavior issues from those that were inherant to being an Aspie. Not all bad behavior was because of autism. Some of it was learned behavior to get what he wanted, just like any child. So it was us that had to learn to discipher between true behavior that was a result of autism, and behavior that was a result of being a kid and that he was perfectly cabable of correcting.

All these years later, I have a child who is better mannered and has better social skills then most of the other Seniors in his High School. I get random calls from little old ladies at Church that he was so sweet to walk them to their cars with an umbrella unasked when it was raining, opening doors, or helping someone with the groceries. One of the ladies at church mentioned that even her own grandson would never do that for her.

These are skills that are not inate to him and had to be taught and when you go on vacation, the learning doesn't stop. Running in the halls, slamming doors, or not letting someone off an elevator first are all perfect times to teach a new skill whether it is me catching him, or the stranger in the stateroom next to us.

 

[Bethshaya]

Well said!!! On my last cruise on the Magic there was a jogger stroller parked right next to our stateroom. Needless to say, we stumbled upon it more than once. Very annoying, indeed!

Not to mention it was inconsiderate of those people who are in wheelchairs. They wont be able to get through the hallway and would have to go around just to get to their own cabin.

If you bring it, you stow it in your own room and be inconvienced by it, not the rest of the ship.

 

[Bethshaya]

Etiquette for door decorations: In addition to using magnets instead of tape and glue, some kids need to be reminded to leave the decorations alone. Yes, it's easy to pull off those cute magnets as you run past, but it would be nice if everybuddy respected everyone else's property.

And in a more serious note, if you have a wipe board on your door, please make sure your older kids (i.e. those that are almost adults - in age at least) don't write foul words on your wipe board.

I know a few people who have had the F-bomb written on the wipe boards.

 

[Theresa-MI]

And in a more serious note, if you have a wipe board on your door, please make sure your older kids (i.e. those that are almost adults - in age at least) don't write foul words on your wipe board.

I know a few people who have had the F-bomb written on the wipe boards.

OMG, I would be mortified to find that written on my door !

I've been lucky so far with my magnets, but on our last cruise heard many complaints about door decorations being trashed . Too sad! The doors are so cute, and tell so much about the people in the stateroom. What kind of pleasure can one have in destroying such nice decorations?

If I catch someone doing it to my door or anybody else's they'd better be ready, because that is when I will lose my manners!