Creepy Facebook Message - Ever have one of these?

[Mrs.Toad]

And if you think that calling it foolish or unreasonable to protect one's privacy is rude, then you really don't understand the point I was trying to make.

And if you think that is what I said, then you clearly don't understand my point, either.

 

[Ceila]

And if you think that is what I said, then you clearly don't understand my point, either.

I really don't understand why you felt the need to call me rude. I truly believe it is terribly foolish to respond to someone on FB whom you cannot identify. That is the point I've been trying to make all along. It's a safety issue, pure and simple. Just because someone (again, with a fake name and unfamiliar photo) "claims" you mistreated them, there is absolutely no reason - and it could be risky - to respond to that person. It's a matter of internet safety, something that everyone should practice.

I'm sure we can agree that one must be very careful when personal information is involved? Here on the Disboards I have no identifying information posted, so engaging in conversation with you and others on the board poses no risk. However, on FB, once you open a dialogue with someone, they potentially have access to some of your personal information. For that reason, I strongly believe that offering the poster an apology (which means engaging that person in a conversation) could have open the OP up to a potentially risky situation. Given that the poster refused to provide any identifying information, then the risk is absolutely not worth the (unlikely, I believe) possibility that the poster was legitimate.

 

[MsLeFever]

Sounds like a virus bait to me.

Lately I've been getting messages that various facebook friends have commented on photos of me...but these aren't "friends" that would bother to do that. I suspect that if I click on the link to see what photo they are commenting on I'd get a virus - and it wouldn't be the first time that facebook has infected this computer!

 

[DisTeach1]

I really don't understand why you felt the need to call me rude. I truly believe it is terribly foolish to respond to someone on FB whom you cannot identify. That is the point I've been trying to make all along. It's a safety issue, pure and simple. Just because someone (again, with a fake name and unfamiliar photo) "claims" you mistreated them, there is absolutely no reason - and it could be risky - to respond to that person. It's a matter of internet safety, something that everyone should practice.

I'm sure we can agree that one must be very careful when personal information is involved? Here on the Disboards I have no identifying information posted, so engaging in conversation with you and others on the board poses no risk. However, on FB, once you open a dialogue with someone, they potentially have access to some of your personal information. For that reason, I strongly believe that offering the poster an apology (which means engaging that person in a conversation) could have open the OP up to a potentially risky situation. Given that the poster refused to provide any identifying information, then the risk is absolutely not worth the (unlikely, I believe) possibility that the poster was legitimate.

Okay, see the bolded part above...I am now agreeing with a prior poster that some people on this thread, and sorry, I include the OP in this, are WAY overreacting to the dangers that Facebook represents. I've gotten some friend requests from people I don't recognize and I responded with a "Who are you, I don't remember you?" I didn't respond with fear by putting an "OMG" message on another board.

Really, again I think most people are overreacting...she can't hurt you, she's not going to knock on your door or follow you at work. Now, I've started to think the OP is making way too big a deal out of this.

 

[sbell111]

If you want a person to know you feel abused, they have to know who you are in order for the abuse to stop. If you don't know who it is you supposedly abused to begin with, how can it stop?

Considering that the percieved abuse happened in high school and the OP is apparently well out of high school, the abuse has already stopped. Given this, your post makes no sense.

How can you be sorry for something, when you don't know what you've done? What each of us perceives as offensive or hurtful varies. Not knowing what it is you supposedly did and to whom leaves no room for improvement. Apologizing for apology's sake is worthless.

Clearly, you missed the previous posts and are merely commenting on my response to a question.

Engaging the person with something like "I'm not sure who you are or what I could have done to you in high school, but I'm sorry if I've hurt you." is not 'worthless' it merely shows that the OP is an adult.

Why would a person open themselves up for further harassment from an unknown person?

What possible future harrassment are you referring to? If the person posts anything out of line, you block her. Just like anybody else.

 

[sbell111]

I also popped over to facebook and pulled up the person's page. Her first name, a probable maiden name, approximate age, current location, and the city in which she grew up are easily found using only the 'shared' info. It would be elementary for the OP to use this information to determine whether or not she was likely to have gone to school with this person.

If she obviously did not, the message was just somebody being stupid. Block her and move on.

If it is apparent that she might have gone to school with this person, however, other decisions should be made.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Okay I couldn't resist taking a look on FB...in my opinion, that person used to be a man.

 

[itchin2go]

I also popped over to facebook and pulled up the person's page. Her first name, a probable maiden name, approximate age, current location, and the city in which she grew up are easily found using only the 'shared' info. It would be elementary for the OP to use this information to determine whether or not she was likely to have gone to school with this person.

If she obviously did not, the message was just somebody being stupid. Block her and move on.

If it is apparent that she might have gone to school with this person, however, other decisions should be made.

I guess I'm not that adept at using Facebook because I did not find all that information. I did see references to several geographic locations, one of which fits. I still don't recognize the person, and again, the pictures are unusual - for me anyway.

Bottom line: Maybe she's someone I went to school with a long time ago. Maybe she's not. I'm not going to pursue it any further at this time because, for lack of a better phrase, it weirds me out. Even if she's sincere, there's nothing in that message that makes me want to correspond with her. If it's something she wanted to get off her chest, well, I guess that's done, although I'm not sure how effective it could be unless I knew who she was or what I had done to her.

 

[itchin2go]

Okay I couldn't resist taking a look on FB...in my opinion, that person used to be a man.

That would at least explain why I don't recognize her.

 

[itchin2go]

Okay, see the bolded part above...I am now agreeing with a prior poster that some people on this thread, and sorry, I include the OP in this, are WAY overreacting to the dangers that Facebook represents. I've gotten some friend requests from people I don't recognize and I responded with a "Who are you, I don't remember you?" I didn't respond with fear by putting an "OMG" message on another board.

Really, again I think most people are overreacting...she can't hurt you, she's not going to knock on your door or follow you at work. Now, I've started to think the OP is making way too big a deal out of this.

If it was just a friend request or a friendly message from someone I didn't recognize, I would have responded back with polite questions.

This was not a friendly message. I've never received a message like this before in my life. Sure, there are worse messages, but for me, this was unsettling. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few days, and if that makes me a nutjob, then I guess I'm a nutjob.

Maybe you wouldn't have posted here about it. So what? I don't think I broke any rules and I've appreciated the responses I've received.

It's a closed chapter for me at this point. Please don't think that I'll continue to obsess about this for the rest of the year.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I really don't understand why you felt the need to call me rude. I truly believe it is terribly foolish to respond to someone on FB whom you cannot identify. That is the point I've been trying to make all along. It's a safety issue, pure and simple. Just because someone (again, with a fake name and unfamiliar photo) "claims" you mistreated them, there is absolutely no reason - and it could be risky - to respond to that person. It's a matter of internet safety, something that everyone should practice.
I'm sure we can agree that one must be very careful when personal information is involved? Here on the Disboards I have no identifying information posted, so engaging in conversation with you and others on the board poses no risk. However, on FB, once you open a dialogue with someone, they potentially have access to some of your personal information. For that reason, I strongly believe that offering the poster an apology (which means engaging that person in a conversation) could have open the OP up to a potentially risky situation. Given that the poster refused to provide any identifying information, then the risk is absolutely not worth the (unlikely, I believe) possibility that the poster was legitimate.

Of course people should be careful with personal information on the internet. Perhaps the foolish ones are the ones who put that information out there in the first place. My Facebook only gives my hometown (which is not where I live anymore), and a little-used email address (just in case of a situation like this). Some people on the DIS provide way more info than that in their signatures and through the posts they make.

Besides, the conversation wasn’t about personal information on the internet in general, it was about this particular situation. Your first post (that I noticed) merely asked “Do you really believe that just because someone posts something, it HAS to be true?!?! “ Since I had previously explained that being unsure is not the same thing as believing, I referred you to that post.

Then you mentioned the fake name, which had already been addressed as well. That may be enough for you to decide that person isn’t worthy of a response, and that’s fine. For me however, knowing people who use fake names for a variety of valid reasons, that isn’t enough FOR ME to write them off without doing a little more investigating, which, in this case, showed better pictures of the person, that she uses facebook to converse with friends, and has a connection to the OP’s hometown. The person clearly already saw the OP’s facebook page and I don’t believe that responding (in this case) is going to give her any more information than she already has.

Nothing about this particular situation scares me away from giving the person a polite response, and I am a reasonable person. We all have different comfort levels, which will vary even further based on how much personal information we've put out there in the first place. I know other people feel differently and see no need call them paranoid to make my point. Your words weren't that bad, but I said they were ruder than those the mystery person said to the OP, because (IMO) they were.

Itchin2go, I still respect your decision.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I guess there are 2 ways of looking at it. I'm a city girl and in my experience it is best to not engage crazy people and someone you do not remember taking shots at you from out of the blue on the internet definitely falls into that category in my book. No matter how polite you are if a person means you harm manners will not diffuse the situation. But that's just me, to each their own. I'm not saying you are wrong who disagree, I just think the OP could use a little support on her choice because she isn't wrong either. This isn't about right or wrong, it's about right and wrong for the particular situation and the people involved

Bottom line, if the OP's Spidey senses are tingling that this is a situation where she needs to be cautious I think she needs to follow that first before anyone elses' opinion. You never read about tragedy in the papers which are CAUSED by too much caution, it's usually when people ignore their intuition that they get into trouble.

 

[CathrynRose]

So last night I get this message on facebook. It says, "I remember you from _________________ High. You used to get your kicks having a laugh at my expense. I hope you turned out to be a better person than you were in high school."

It's from a fake name. I don't want to post the name, but it's kind of like BadChickie Hitter - something along those lines. The girl has a picture, but I don't recognize the person. Of course, she's seriously "tarted up" in the picture - tons of makeup, teased out hair and a bustier top -- like something from Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. I don't recognize anyone in her group of friends either.

You kinda just solidified that it's very possible you may have been an uncool person to her, in high school.

Let it go - or better yet, apologize if you remember ever being crappy to anyone.

That's what I would do. She certainly wasn't very mean, in what she said to you.

 

[itchin2go]

You kinda just solidified that it's very possible you may have been an uncool person to her, in high school.

Let it go - or better yet, apologize if you remember ever being crappy to anyone.

That's what I would do. She certainly wasn't very mean, in what she said to you.

Geez, Louise. I said the thing about the makeup to explain why I might not recognize her. I can see how it would come off differently, but that's all I meant.

 

[itchin2go]

I guess there are 2 ways of looking at it. I'm a city girl and in my experience it is best to not engage crazy people and someone you do not remember taking shots at you from out of the blue on the internet definitely falls into that category in my book. No matter how polite you are if a person means you harm manners will not diffuse the situation. But that's just me, to each their own. I'm not saying you are wrong who disagree, I just think the OP could use a little support on her choice because she isn't wrong either. This isn't about right or wrong, it's about right and wrong for the particular situation and the people involved

Bottom line, if the OP's Spidey senses are tingling that this is a situation where she needs to be cautious I think she needs to follow that first before anyone elses' opinion. You never read about tragedy in the papers which are CAUSED by too much caution, it's usually when people ignore their intuition that they get into trouble.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you.

I'm not sure how being careful became a bad thing. And you know what? I don't even care if someone thinks I'm stupid for being careful.

I don't recognize this person. I don't believe I tormented anyone in high school. Some of the content of the person's page makes me squirmy. I've decided to drop it. I understand others might handle this differently. I was looking for opinions which is why I posted here. The responses here have helped me sift through the issues and make a decision. For that, I am grateful.