catsrule
Mary Jo
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2001
- Messages
- 15,649
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!"
-------------------------------------------
A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew
what the Roe Vs Wade decision was. She sat there for quite a while
pondering this very profound question and finally sighed and said:
"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the
Delaware."
------------------------------------------
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car
has been broken into She is hysterical as she explains her situation to
the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even
the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard." he says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."
**********************************************************************************
A very attractive lady goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she signals him to bring his face closer to hers.
When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," the man replied." "Can you get him for me?
I need to speak with him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender barely manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.....
***********************************************************************************
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!"
-------------------------------------------
A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew
what the Roe Vs Wade decision was. She sat there for quite a while
pondering this very profound question and finally sighed and said:
"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the
Delaware."
------------------------------------------
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car
has been broken into She is hysterical as she explains her situation to
the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even
the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard." he says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."
**********************************************************************************
A very attractive lady goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she signals him to bring his face closer to hers.
When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," the man replied." "Can you get him for me?
I need to speak with him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender barely manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.....
***********************************************************************************
Very funny jokes, all of them 
