Corporal Punishment in Schools...

[ThreeMusketeers]

That is not true,my Kids have never hit,bite or picked a fight with any one!
I have 3 kids that range in age from 19-5. I also watch nanny 911 and see alot of kids beating up there parents,and I know those parents never hit there
kids.explain that.

I will end my own beliefs with this final post, b/c I think its gotton way out of hand for me.

Children that are spanked are taught to FEAR those that are spanking them. That is why they are well behaved. Be it at school or at home. They are fearful of either humiliation, or pain. SO...they don't do the "wrong" thing. Maybe they did grow up to be doctors or successful human beings making a lot of money and driving fancy cars. BUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR EMOTIONS? What is wrong with the way that they grow up and think and feel about the world and how they interact with other people? My husband for one was "spanked" as a child (from 5 until he was 16) and he had major emotional scarring that he is still trying to get through. He is a VERY smart guy, brings home good grades in college (deans list all 5 years of college thus far), a good salary as an Accountant for a major firm here, VERY hard working, Is on his last year of his Masters Degree. But he still holds resentment for his parents humiliation and spanking and has recently cut ties with his mother b/c of it. He wasn't beaten, he was "just" spanked. He has troubles holding friendships b/c he holds onto the wrong ones for fear that he is not pleasing someone. He is overly protective of his feelings and emotions b/c he is afraid of being rejected, and he has a REALLY hard time with making any sort of mistake at all...B/c he feels so humiliated when he does. This all goes on internally,with him and it is very hard on his self esteem. You wouldn't know this by meeting him on the street, or doing buisness with him. This is something inside of him that he talks to me and a therapist about.
I understand that their are different degrees to spanking here. And I am sure that all people are not leaving welts on their children. But that aside...Violence DOES breed VIOLENCE. I wouldn't hit my dog, or any other animal b/c its mean. Even when my dog does something wrong, we don't HIT him..we say "NO" in a very stern voice, and return him to his cage. FOR A TIME OUT. If you are hitting your dog, or using any sort of physical punishment that's illegal. So i guess I don't understand why it's not illegal to HIT our children! It should be!!! ESP. for schools! These people are mearly "teachers" that we as a community hire to teach our children educational tools to help them get a decent job someday and become valued memebers of society. They are their to HELP us do that job. NOT DO IT FOR US!!!! They are YOUR children, if you have a problem with what YOUR children are doing in school, THAN YOU deal with it how you as a parent see fit. However, know that someone out there in NY isn't agreeing with you!! (and I am sure you can deal with that..)


Now, everyone back to planning Disney Trips!!

 

[write2caro]

Now, everyone back to planning Disney Trips!!

I guess someone had to get us all back on track!! I'll end with: I agree with everything you said. I'm out... have ADRs to focus on!

 

[DisneyDiva13]

Hi DisneyDiva - I read your account and thought that was just horrible. May I ask what district you went to school. I also grew up here, taught here and now have a DD going to school here and have never heard of anyone being paddled. In fact I thought it was against the law!

I'm down in Kent County. I went to Caesar Rodney schools. I remember kids being paddled through junior high (8th grade). Never heard about any in high school (but that would be beyond ridiculous, IMO).
The teacher that paddled me retired shortly after the incident...thank goodness. I honestly hadn't given a thought to the matter until I stumbled upon this thread.

 

[MinnieGi]

Thanks DisneyDiva for answering. So sorry again to hear about your incident and hearing about others. I guess it makes a difference where in the state you are located. I grew up in the Brandywine district area, taught in Appoquinimink, and presently live in Red Clay and never encountered, saw or heard of paddling.

DisneyDiva - have fun on your Disney trip!

 

[rejobako]

I will end my own beliefs with this final post, b/c I think its gotton way out of hand for me.

Children that are spanked are taught to FEAR those that are spanking them. . . . My husband for one was "spanked" as a child (from 5 until he was 16) and he had major emotional scarring that he is still trying to get through. He is a VERY smart guy, brings home good grades in college (deans list all 5 years of college thus far), a good salary as an Accountant for a major firm here, VERY hard working, Is on his last year of his Masters Degree. But he still holds resentment for his parents humiliation and spanking and has recently cut ties with his mother b/c of it. He wasn't beaten, he was "just" spanked. He has troubles holding friendships b/c he holds onto the wrong ones for fear that he is not pleasing someone. He is overly protective of his feelings and emotions b/c he is afraid of being rejected, and he has a REALLY hard time with making any sort of mistake at all...B/c he feels so humiliated when he does. This all goes on internally,with him and it is very hard on his self esteem. You wouldn't know this by meeting him on the street, or doing buisness with him. This is something inside of him that he talks to me and a therapist about.

We don't spank our children, but I don't have a philosophical objection to corporal punishment. (On the topic, however, I am not in favor of corporal punishment in schools.) With all due respect to your husband, he does not serve as the measuring stick by which all spanking should be evaluated. I was spanked as a child on rare occasion. Hard. With a belt -- by my father, when my father used it as a means of last-resort. And I deserved it. I don't have "deep-seated" resentment issues or hang-ups of any kind, and as far as I'm concerned my dad was the salt of the earth and the greatest man I ever knew. He sacrificed much for me, he would have done anything for me, and I'm morally certain that he loved me without reservation.

That being said, I'm not suggesting my experience should be held up as the model for whether corporal punishment is good or bad, etc. What I find objectionable about discussions like this is the insistence by some to deal in absolutes. Your first statement, for example: "Children that are spanked are taught to FEAR those that are spanking them." That's not universally true, and I would suggest that in most cases it's a complete misstatement. It is probably just as accurate to say that "children that are spanked are taught to respect the authority of those who are spanking them". Or: "children that are spanked are taught to fear the consequences of bad behavior."

I'm certainly no advocate for corporal punishment, because I know that not all parents are good parents. Spanking done in rage and anger is likely to lead to swatting kids for the wrong reasons, with the goal being to hurt rather than to correct. So generally I'm not in favor of it. In concept, though, I do not agree that "spanking is bad" for the reasons that you stated, because you are projecting your husband's experience to everyone. I had a different experience, and everyone who's ever been spanked has their own views on the subject. Most of my friends had some experience with corporal punishment, and most of them look back on it with the dispassionate conclusion that, while unpleasant, it was deserved and effective. That doesn't mean it was the only way to do things, but I do think it's unfair to suggest that all parents who use it are necessarily "abusing" their children.

Just my un-PC opinion.

Gotta run. Time for my appointment with my anger-management therapist.