Considering homeschooling

[PA Princess]

My very good friend is an elementary teacher and she is against homeschool. So I got to "defend" my decision to her today. She says in her experience those that return to school after being homeschooled are behind, are outcasts and lack the skills to socialize with other kids.

Hello from a former homeschooling mom! I have four kids and I am a teacher (secondary English). I have taught in both public and private schools and my kids have done it all...private school, homeschooling, and last year for the first time public school.

I have many friends in education and when we announced we were homeschooling the truth is they were all supportive - not necessarily because all were big homeschool advocates either, but because they know me and knew I would do a superior job. Perhaps that is the route you could take with your friend....ask her to trust that you will absolutely do what is the very best for your child.

Your concerns for your child and her anxiety level seem well founded, and as great as public schools can be, truthfully a public school classroom is not the best fit for every child at every age.

The resources recommended by others are good (Lisa Welchel's book is the first one I read when thinking about homeschooling), and I would recommend you brainstorm what your goals overall are for your daughter. This will take some research to figure out what is taught at her grade level and what skills you want to work on for the year.

Remember that educating is a marathon and not a sprint...set goals (short and long term), work toward goals, evaluate how you are progressing, and then decide what changes you want to make to move closer to the goals or make new goals once the first ones are achieved. Despite all of the mumbo, jumbo out there...this is really the basis of what you need to do. Try not to be scared by all of "it" and just develop a clear, simple plan for your child.

Once you have the plan, then the fun starts to research what you will use to achieve that plan. Will it be a a certain curriculum or program? If so, what else will I include to supplement that?

For example, with your daughter's anxiety issues, that would be an area that I would want to explore to help her develop coping skills so that in the future she will be able to handle stressful situations...that might mean a co-op for socialization with kids her own age, a group class (dance, swim, art, music, etc) where she can be part of a group where she will grow in skill and confidance, and perhaps some counseling depending on how severe the issue is.

Sorry to be so long - this is obvisouly a subject near and dear to my heart. For the record I sent three kids to public school for the very first time last fall after three years of homeschooling...one to high school , one to middle school , and one to elementary school. All three flourished academically and socially (absolutely some adjustments, but nothing huge), and by the end of the year all had won several academic awards and each had even more friends to add to an already solid base of friends from sports, cheer, music, church, neighborhood, etc.

 

[cruiserkaren]

For example, with your daughter's anxiety issues, that would be an area that I would want to explore to help her develop coping skills so that in the future she will be able to handle stressful situations...that might mean a co-op for socialization with kids her own age, a group class (dance, swim, art, music, etc) where she can be part of a group where she will grow in skill and confidance, and perhaps some counseling depending on how severe the issue is.

We are absolutely working on this. With a counselor and her pediatrician involved. She is involved in activities with other kids. Her anxiety with school is both generalized and separation. She gets overwhelmed with the noise, the hustle and bustle of it, when/if the teacher raises her voice, if kids "argue," that kind of thing. Lunch is especially difficult for her as there are hundreds of kids in there at the same time. The noise level is thru the roof and the "safety" of her teacher is not there. She also has anxiety of "medical" issues. Where is overly concerned with getting sick (vomiting, diarrhea). She feels she needs me as a "medical monitor." Anyone that has done research on separation anxiety is probably familiar with this. Anyway I didn't mean to go on about this, but wanted to paint a clearer picture. We obviously want her to improve her coping skills and possibly returning to school in the future. But for now, this is what we are dealing with and working on.

A thought about having to defend yourself. You don't have to. It is perfectly acceptable to smile and say it is what is right for you and your family. Then move on in the conversation. You don't owe anyone an explanation. People who want to argue are not going to listen anyway.

I love this and must remember it for the future. I'd also like to say that my parents, and my MIL are just amazingly supportive in all of this. And while my teacher friend doesn't agree with it (however she has NO kiddos!) she did say she would support our decision. So she's not a complete monster.

I homeschooled my son for several years because he was miserable in regular school kindergarten. I sent him back in Grade 5 when he was ready and willing to go.

Here's what I told my friends when they challenged my decision to homeschool: No one should EVER have to stay anywhere that they are unhappy. If you're in a miserable marriage, you get out. If you're in a horrible job, you find another job. It's not character building to put up with constant daily abuse, it's just dumb.

My son was homeschooled from 1st grade through to the end of 4th grade. Despite having a diagnosed learning disability, he had little difficulty transitioning into a gifted class in the public school system in Grade 5. He has many friends and is considered a "leader" in class. He does talk to adults as if he considers them peers, but as he's not rude, it's not been a problem.

My daughter was homeschooled for 3rd and 4th grade. Last year in 8th grade, she actually thanked me for the good job I did of laying a strong foundation in math! Apparently her peers were struggling, while she was able to breeze through.

I didn't homeschool for religious reasons, but I used a religious curriculum called "Sonlight". I really love books, and the focus on classic literature was something that suited me well as a teacher. Plus it was easy to follow, and well laid out. I found the lists-and-schedules very comforting when I was just starting out as a homeschooler. I just skipped any story books I didn't like (such as the occasional one that focussed on missionary work) and substituted something else from the library.

Good luck on your journey!

I appreciate this as well. When I first brought up homeschooling or alternative ideas to what we doing to my hubby he was not thrilled. After a lot of discussion he agreed and basically said this same thing. Our hope for the future is not that we will push her back into public school but that she feels confident enough to want to go back.

We did apply to the Indiana Virtual Pilot School thru the k12 program. Thanks again to each and everyone of you for helping in our decision.

 

[PA Princess]

We are absolutely working on this. With a counselor and her pediatrician involved. She is involved in activities with other kids. Her anxiety with school is both generalized and separation. She gets overwhelmed with the noise, the hustle and bustle of it, when/if the teacher raises her voice, if kids "argue," that kind of thing. Lunch is especially difficult for her as there are hundreds of kids in there at the same time. The noise level is thru the roof and the "safety" of her teacher is not there. She also has anxiety of "medical" issues. Where is overly concerned with getting sick (vomiting, diarrhea). She feels she needs me as a "medical monitor." Anyone that has done research on separation anxiety is probably familiar with this. Anyway I didn't mean to go on about this, but wanted to paint a clearer picture. We obviously want her to improve her coping skills and possibly returning to school in the future. But for now, this is what we are dealing with and working on.

Cruiserkaren, the tone from your quote seemed like you felt judged and this was completely not my intent.

I was not in any way offering advice on how to specifically address your daughter's anxiety issues or meaning to imply that you were not addressing the issues. I was simply explaining in a general way how that may be incorporated and used when developing a plan for homeschooling your child - that is all.

 

[cruiserkaren]

Cruiserkaren, the tone from your quote seemed like you felt judged and this was completely not my intent.

I was not in any way offering advice on how to specifically address your daughter's anxiety issues or meaning to imply that you were not addressing the issues. I was simply explaining in a general way how that may be incorporated and used when developing a plan for homeschooling your child - that is all.

Oh no, I didn't feel that way at all. It's just on my OP I said I didn't want to get into why we had decided to homeschool. Then after getting suggestions and things I felt it might be helpful to just put it out there. I normally refrain from getting too personal on here. But I felt like in this case it was warranted.

Update on our progress: The virtual school we applied to had a waiting list. However, by complete chance I ended up chatting with my aunt who is friends with someone that homeschools. I recognized her name from a local homeschooling group that I had heard about. So she made a phone call and myself and my girls are meeting the group at the library tomorrow for their weekly meeting. Yay!

 

[wvdislover]

Click http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2533652 to visit the homeschool thread! It's a great place for support and new ideas!

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Oh no, I didn't feel that way at all. It's just on my OP I said I didn't want to get into why we had decided to homeschool. Then after getting suggestions and things I felt it might be helpful to just put it out there. I normally refrain from getting too personal on here. But I felt like in this case it was warranted.

Update on our progress: The virtual school we applied to had a waiting list. However, by complete chance I ended up chatting with my aunt who is friends with someone that homeschools. I recognized her name from a local homeschooling group that I had heard about. So she made a phone call and myself and my girls are meeting the group at the library tomorrow for their weekly meeting. Yay!

Yeah! We have a wonderful homeschool group. I am so grateful for them. Hope you enjoy your day!

 

[P.I. Squirrel]

We are in our second year of Home School for DS(9) and DD(8). They have really enjoyed the experience, and DD has progressed far enough that she is working at the same grade level as DS. We decided to HS for two reasons: quality and flexibility. After 2 horrid years of elementary school for DD, in which she had an abusive teacher that the system couldn't get rid of, we decided our children were losing valuable learning time; there was no way DD will get that year back. When we complained to the school about the abuse, the principal actually interviewed other children with the teacher present. That, and the fact DD came home from kindergarten with some new colorful words she had learned from her peers, made us re-evaluate whether government school was the best solution.

That brings me to this point. Most teachers I have talked to are 'against Home Schooling' because they see you as an insult to their profession. To them, there is simply no way that parents can teach their own children better than they can. Time and time again, they are proven wrong, be it test scores, knowledge bees, etc. So, when someone is against HS, they fall back to the canned excuses of socialization, sports, music, and defective learning skills. Our kids are in all sorts of groups, sports, plays, and even perform in movies when they come to town. All of this while their knowledge has exceeded their grade level by far. That is not to say that there aren't some bad apples out there that give the rest of us a bad rep.

In Georgia, the law is fairly relaxed compared to some other states. We are required a minimum 180 days of at least 4 hours. Many school sysytems around Atlanta have now reduced the school year below 180, but our commitment can only change if the law changes. So, our children actually attend more days of school than their government school couterparts. We also must administer standardized testing at the end of certain grades, but we have decided to do it each year to ensure our children do not fall behind. Other than some other basic requirements, Georgia HS'ers are allowed great flexibilty in their choice of curriculum. We have started Time4Learning this year, and we are mostly happy with it. It is not a system where you stick your kids in front of a computer and walk away. In contrast, we find ourselves constantly back and forth explaining concepts and filling holes in our children's understanding of the material. A very good feature of T4L is that it allows you to retake lessons indefinitely, ensuring your child has a complete grasp before he/she moves on to the next concept.

So far, we have found our local school system to be generally supportive, as they still count our children for funding, yet do not expend any money to support us. Our cost of schooling is borne 100% by us.

Georgia's Virtual Academy is similar to what PP's have described. You get your entire year's supplies shipped to you, including items such as microscopes, textbooks, globes, etc. It's really impressive. You do have to ship it all back at the end. The only drawback is it's inflexibility. Your schedule matches the school system completely. If school is in session, your child must sign in that day for work. We enjoy the flexibilty that HSing allows. We are free to teach any hour of the day, any day of the week. We also can move on to our next school year as soon as the previous 180 days are complete, allowing our children to graduate early and take co-op classes at the community college.

All that to say "Yeah, we like it". You'll like it, too. And you'll soon be asking yourself "Just why was I nervous, anyway?" Good luck.

 

[MaleficentandGoons]

You will probably have to defend yourself a few more times before they really understand. A good teacher (not saying she isn't) knows that all children learn differently and in their own way.
Right now, in my experience (and I did teach in a traditional school for 6 years,) there is a LOT of drama in a lot of classrooms today. Some teachers do a great job of controlling it but others just aren't so good at it. I know in my daughter's case, there was so much drama and chaos in her 3rd grade classroom that she literally couldn't complete her work in school and would bring it home and we'd spend hours at home working on it at night. Now, we spend 4 hours a day on school work and we are done for the day and moving on to other things. Socially, she has lots of interaction with her peers at gymnastics, church and our virtual school program offers quite a few opportunities for field trip and peer learning.
Also, just for the record, my daughter takes the same tests as all others in the district and this past spring she blew past 99% of the other 3rd graders in the district completely out of the water with her scores. That's after only one semester of homeschooling/ virtual schooling.
Also in my experience, I know quite a few students who have been homeschooled and they are wonderful, well rounded kids. I know that not all parents homeschool in the same manner and some don't actually do a lot of teaching which might explain some of the negagivity your friend is familiar with.
Trust me, when I first pulled my daughter out of school, I as a nervous wreck but it didn't take long to figure out that I knew it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I can't wait to hear how it goes for you.

I'm not one for homeschooling but it's nice to see that your daughter is 99% ahead of her classmates. I do hope you realize it's the same reason that you have students succeded when they have one -on -one tuttoring. There are no distractions. I honestly think thats where there is a diservice to the child. if they can't funtion and learn, and more impotantly be productive with "drama" around them how are they going to handle a job in the world. DRAMA is EVERYWHERE. How are you preparing them for that? No seriously I'd love to know. College is a whole new area and do you think they are going to be prepared or are they going to fall victim to the drama that is there? I'm not judging, just wondering.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Drama is a distraction to learning. Name one teacher that doesn't wish she could teach in a vacume. And, anyone who lives in a family knows that there is always a chance for drama! Add in brownies, co op, church, sports, and kids still get plenty a chance to deal with nasty people. If all else fails, I can always set them up on a msg board, lol. j/k.

I have not met any teachers that are against homeschooling in the last 5 years. When we started there was a lot of criticism. My nephew who was homeschooled is now a special ed teacher, my sil who homeschooled her kids went back to school to become a teacher. My neighbors who teach 3rd grade, and the Principal of the high school say that if they had to raise their kids now, they would be homeschooled. The world is changing, thankfully.

 

[MaleficentandGoons]

Drama is a distraction to learning. Name one teacher that doesn't wish she could teach in a vacume. And, anyone who lives in a family knows that there is always a chance for drama! Add in brownies, co op, church, sports, and kids still get plenty a chance to deal with nasty people. If all else fails, I can always set them up on a msg board, lol. j/k.

I have not met any teachers that are against homeschooling in the last 5 years. When we started there was a lot of criticism. My nephew who was homeschooled is now a special ed teacher, my sil who homeschooled her kids went back to school to become a teacher. My neighbors who teach 3rd grade, and the Principal of the high school say that if they had to raise their kids now, they would be homeschooled. The world is changing, thankfully.

I'd have to disagree for at least where I live. There aren't many for homeschooling but maybe thats because there are so many good schools. if you do the research especially if you have a Sp. Ed student you can get that child into the best public schools. It depends on the resources and the knowledge you have of your state. I know that we will be school choicing our DD. Which is an option EVERY parent in this state has if you are willing to do the work.

 

[mom2att]

I'm not one for homeschooling but it's nice to see that your daughter is 99% ahead of her classmates. I do hope you realiaze ttheIt's the same reason that you have students succeded when they have one -on -one tuttoring. There are no distractions. I honestly think thats where there is a deiservice to the cjhild. if they can't funtion and learn, and more impotantly be productive with "drama" around them how are they going to handle a job in the world. DRAMA is EVERYWHERE. How are you preparing them for that? No seriously I'd love to know. College is a whole new area and do you think they are going to be prepared or are they going to fall victim to the drama that is theree? I'm not judging, just wondering.

Well, since the OP's daughter is just now going into grade 1, I'd say she has a few years to help her prepare for the "drama" of the real world.

Speaking from a similar experience here, since I see a lot of similarities between my middle child and the OP's dd. I homeschool all three of my children and have from the time my oldest was preschool age. My oldest and youngest would be fine with the chaos and drama of school. They are typical learners, easily adaptable, and acclimate easily to noisy and potentially stressful situations. My middle child, however, is totally different. School at age 5 would have been an absolute disaster for him. I can imagine the calls I would have gotten from the teacher . . . "Mrs. T, he's under the table again and we can't get him to come out. All we did was say 'Yay' after singing Happy Birthday. How were we to know he didn't like that word?" Seriously. Even if he would have been able to hold it together at school (which I doubt), he would have fallen apart by the time he got home. I am so glad that I didn't have to subject him to that stress and pressure at a young age.

But that doesn't mean I want to protect him from all of that for his whole life, or that I don't want him to grow up and out of these difficulties and behaviors. I do, however, want to give him time and space to learn to cope and adjust to situations that may be difficult for him. He's just turned 10 now and is a very different kid from who he was at 5. I think that school would still be difficult for him, but if he had to go at this point of his life he would be okay--he's learned how to deal with things and he's matured to the point that he could handle the drama of school for the most part.

The beauty of our situation is that we still have a few more years to work on it. Our ultimate goal is the same as everyone else's--to raise happy, productive, well-functioning adults. We just reserve the right to get there on our own terms and in our own time without forcing the issue on a kid who is clearly not ready. I have no problems with a socially immature 10 year old. I'm working on the final outcome of not having the same issues when he's 20. I'm quite sure that beginning school at five would have made this outcome more difficult, at least for my kid.

Hope that helps you understand a little. I know it's hard to see the other side sometimes.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Well, said. My kids range from a 23 year old grad student who spent his summer helping rebuild homes in Indonesia, to 2 more college students in "good schools', lol, to my special ed son who passed (no way I would have placed him in the system), a 16 year old taking college courses for fun, a darling daughter who loves dancing and guitar, and girl scouts more than science, and a sweet little one year old cherub who will follow in their footsteps, Lord willing and the creeks don't rise. Life is exciting around here.

I am also blessed with having been a consultant to the head start program and school systems for the past 30 years. And I teach pt at a top college. Percentage wise the students having difficulty are no higher for homeschool children than traditional students. Any idea otherwise is not based on fact. It is merely a guess.

Teachers have to deal with parents who think their children can do no wrong, or are above the rules. They deal with poverty, and social issues. They deal with administrations who are more concerned with their reputation than with the actual product. I think the world of them. I'm not against schools at all. I think they do a marvelous job with what they have to work with.

All this to reassure those that myths of the system and socialization are merely myths. Dont' sweat them.

 

[MaleficentandGoons]

Well, said. My kids range from a 23 year old grad student who spent his summer helping rebuild homes in Indonesia, to 2 more college students in "good schools', lol, to my special ed son who passed (no way I would have placed him in the system), a 16 year old taking college courses for fun, a darling daughter who loves dancing and guitar, and girl scouts more than science, and a sweet little one year old cherub who will follow in their footsteps, Lord willing and the creeks don't rise. Life is exciting around here.

I am also blessed with having been a consultant to the head start program and school systems for the past 30 years. And I teach pt at a top college. Percentage wise the students having difficulty are no higher for homeschool children than traditional students. Any idea otherwise is not based on fact. It is merely a guess.

Teachers have to deal with parents who think their children can do no wrong, or are above the rules. They deal with poverty, and social issues. They deal with administrations who are more concerned with their reputation than with the actual product. I think the world of them. I'm not against schools at all. I think they do a marvelous job with what they have to work with.

All this to reassure those that myths of the system and socialization are merely myths. Dont' sweat them.

Indiana-aren't you a counselor too? just wondering after all your statements on the kid menu thread.

Like i said i'm not judjing it's just not for me.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Yes, I am. I am the consulting psychologist for both those systems, supervise the counselors at the college and teach a course when an interesting one comes up. It is lovely work, and I enjoy piecing together a careeer and homelife in a way that works for us.

I also have a small private practice just to keep life interesting and those kids in college and traveling, lol.

 

[Tiana]

...

 

[disneymom3]

A thought about having to defend yourself. You don't have to. It is perfectly acceptable to smile and say it is what is right for you and your family. Then move on in the conversation. You don't owe anyone an explanation. People who want to argue are not going to listen anyway.

Yep. No one would EVER ask someone "Why on earth are you doing that?? Are you crazy?" about public schooling and yet I had many people say just that to me when we decided to do this 9 years ago. I started out thinking I needed to defend myself. Then switched to "Why how rude." and left it at that. It was my version of Dear Abby's "i will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering."

I didn't see anyone suggest the books "What your....grader Needs to KNow" I really like them for their literature selections alone and they give a nice overview of what each year should or can encompass.

Personally, I don't like virtual schools. They don't offer the freedom and flexibility of true homeschooling as you are basically just doing public school at home with someone else evaluating your child's performance.

Really, if you can read, add and subtract and have some fun with water, air and magnets, you have first grade covered.

Read read read and read some more.

 

[mommytobug]

Thank you for all the suggestions. I appreciate everyone with experience chiming in. It's weird how I go from feeling confident in the decision to scared out of my mind to thinking "what am I doing!!"

My very good friend is an elementary teacher and she is against homeschool. So I got to "defend" my decision to her today. She says in her experience those that return to school after being homeschooled are behind, are outcasts and lack the skills to socialize with other kids. My response: skills like making fun, exclusion and degrading someone? I also told her that in my research most of the time when a homeschooler returns to school they are ahead of their peers.

I feel like we will be doing it but I am so scared at the same time. I obviously want to do what is best for my dd and my family. Sending my 6 year old to school crying, scared and in a near panic attack just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. She literally wouldn't/couldn't eat breakfast or lunch because of anxiety and being upset. She would come home starving and then we'd do it all over the next day. That's when I knew this was serious. A 6 year old can't not eat for 8+ hours just to "defy" me. (this is just one example of an issue that we dealt with in one school year.) I don't want her hating school and in return hate learning at such a young age. She shouldn't have to hate school at 6, right? We have addressed the anxiety issues with her pediatrician and a counselor. She is making progress but it is not something that you can just pop a pill and get better.

Thank you all for listening and helping.

I just wanted to chime in and say my dd has anxiety issues. There is hope. I am a LCSW in the mental health field but i promise when we were going through it in the beginning i felt i knew nothing! She spent almost a year at St Jude and started having full blown panic attacks when she recovered. She had always been anxious (which she got naturally from her birthmom and then from me-poor child lol!). We have dealth with hers with meds and other things. So, just sharing don't completely be against meds, it may be helpful for a bit. Fast forward to this year and she is on no meds and she is so happy. She has let it go, completely. Now, I know that things will come up and there may be another day when things are different but we survived!! You will too, whether you homeschool or not! I also thought of homeschooling when she was going through everything and really we did while she was at St Jude. After that, she begged us not to homeschool and we of course granted her wish after the year of hell she had been through.I am a believer in doing what you think is right. Don't judge every book by it's cover, if something bothers you about a certain homeschooled child, make sure yours isn't that way (well what you can control, but you know what i mean). I think what bothers me the most is either side being so defensive. Why should anyone care? I have a friend who laughed at and ridiculed homeschooled children until this year-when she decided it was what was best. That bothered me but i told her about it. I get a newsletter from several and I will share when i find them.

 

[Naisy68]

Personally, I don't like virtual schools. They don't offer the freedom and flexibility of true homeschooling as you are basically just doing public school at home with someone else evaluating your child's performance.
.

I have to add here that I think most of this really depends on the rules in your local virtual school program. I use K12 with my daughter and I love, love and LOVE it!! I have a lot of flexibility as well as quite a bit of freedom to follow the objectives as I would like to. I don't always follow the lessons in black and white, I add some to them at times or if I feel my DD has already mastered a certain area, I skip it altogether after a quick verbal review with her. It totally depends on who you are working with I guess. K12 is a great program but it does not have to be done exactly as they suggest, we've been told several times by our virtual teacher to do things the way that we best see fit to do them. It's the objectives that are important and with any curriculum, you need to follow your state given educational objectives for each grade.
Also at this age (4th grade) it is still me that decides if my DD has mastered an area or not, so I am doing the evaluating. We do however still participate in our distric wide evaluations but this is also my choice in our district. For the record, our virtual school students are performing very high on all of the assessments we have taken over the last 5 years.

 

[DreadpiratK]

I'm not one for homeschooling but it's nice to see that your daughter is 99% ahead of her classmates. I do hope you realize it's the same reason that you have students succeded when they have one -on -one tuttoring. There are no distractions. I honestly think thats where there is a diservice to the child. if they can't funtion and learn, and more impotantly be productive with "drama" around them how are they going to handle a job in the world. DRAMA is EVERYWHERE. How are you preparing them for that? No seriously I'd love to know. College is a whole new area and do you think they are going to be prepared or are they going to fall victim to the drama that is there? I'm not judging, just wondering.

Um, 5 kids ages 3-20. Plenty of 'drama' for us! Plus, there are plenty of opportunities for group learning at homeschool groups and other places. Where, in the 'real world' do you ever function with 25-30 people exactly your age? Doesn't happen. Learning in groups with a large age range is actually much closer to a normal work environment. Plus, if you think that homeschooled kids lives are without 'drama', well it just ain't so (parent of 3 homeschooled teens here) , but it can be more easily kept separate from school.

To answer your second question, my DS is now a 4.0 student at RIT, largely because of the study habits he learned as a homeschooler. Because of the small group nature of homeschooling, kids learn to seperate education and socialization, instead of conflating the two as public school kids do. This allows them to compartmentalize and prioritize thier lives better, I think. We do school, and we do socializing, and occasionally the two are at the same time, but not that often. With public school, most kids go to see their friends, and occasionally learn something, so it's all the same to them. (I went to public school, btw)

Sure some kids will get distracted by the new social opportunities of college, but that's true for kids from all backgrounds. When a public schooled kids parties too much and flunks out of college, no one blames it on public schooling.

 

[MiniGirl]

Yep. No one would EVER ask someone "Why on earth are you doing that?? Are you crazy?" about public schooling and yet I had many people say just that to me when we decided to do this 9 years ago. I started out thinking I needed to defend myself. Then switched to "Why how rude." and left it at that. It was my version of Dear Abby's "i will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering."

Nor would they start quizzing a child upon hearing they are publically-schooled, yet they feel justified quizzing my kids for some reason. Why is that?!?!

Just makes me shake my head. I swore next time it happened I was going to quiz the adult on something I'm sure they don't know and then ask my kids the same question. Of course, that would be rude of me, so I won't really do it. It is a nice fantasy though.