College Visits

[Melissa Perez]

One of her close friends is looking at UMass, which is why I think she wants to go and see it, but its the most expensive to visit (hotels/food/etc) and will require the most travel (about 5 hours).

Could you use this trip to visit a few schools in Boston? Besides the biggies (Harvard, MIT, BC), you have schools like Suffolk University and Emerson College right in the downtown area.

ETA: I visited ~4 places (ME, PA, CA and DC - I am from north of Boston and that helped with some school visits). FWIW, we only visited "types" of schools - up in the woods, out west, small schools, etc. - under the impression if I knew I didn't like a small school, it wouldn't matter which one it was, I wasn't going to be happy there. It worked out ok - I went to PA for undergrad and DC for grad school and now live back in Boston.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Minor update from me--I mentioned up-thread that my son with Asperger's is in the process of transitioning from the local community college to the local branch of State U. There was a reception for transfer students last night, and he and his dad went. A couple years back, we were told during his evaluation that, in a room full of introverts, DS would be the most introverted. But, not only did he go to this reception (mostly looking for the promised pizza), but he met up with a woman who is ahead but on the same path as he is--transferred in from the local CC, part-time student while working, and super extroverted and willing to share her experiences with DS. So overall, it was a really good experience for our son.

Ironically, since Super Tuesday is next week, and he's really into political science (the one club he's joined on campus), he had two political forums this week. He actually left the transfer student reception to go to the second political forum at the CC. So, I think he's more than met his quota of human interaction for the week, if not the month--but, it's good to see him coming out of himself a bit.

To the OP--you're right, it isn't easy. We all try to feel our way along and find the right path for our child. You're doing great! Just keep swimming...

 

[mdsouth]

Just a thought--since the college visits are more geared for fun versus actually picking that particular college, consider expanding what you see in the Boston area. There are a ton of colleges around, with a wide variety of offerings--big, small, specialized, urban, and so forth. Use it as a way to see what style of college might be the best fit for her, either now or down the road, if she finishes a two-year program and wants to go on. Plus--Boston! What's not to love? Visit the Science Museum or take a Duck Boat tour or see the Aquarium.

My oldest went to Boston University, and she loved the big, bustling nature of the city as well as the college--you really can't separate the two. Others would be completely miserable there, as there's no escaping the urban jungle. OTOH, we also toured UMASS-Amherst--we lived in NH at the time, I wanted her to at least LOOK at a state school, she wouldn't consider UNH, so UMASS it was. Well, UMASS is a large, bustling campus...set in the middle of a corn field. Literally--they invite you to go to the top of their library for the view, and all you saw was the campus...and cornfields! Ironically, DD is currently dating a young man who graduated from UMASS-Amherst--he seems to be doing fine for himself.

For your DD, she might feel more comfortable seeing a smaller, more contained campus, so that she can know that they're out there, and might be a good fit for her. There are commuter colleges, colleges that roll up the sidewalks on weekends, practically, and colleges that are inseparable from the community around them.

My older son has Asperger's--he's currently attending the local community college, and will transfer to the local branch of State U this fall. We're trying to ease the transition for him from one to the other--luckily, both are an easy driving distance, with public transportation also available. He has zero interest in looking at any other college choices, which we're fine with.

Multiple thoughts:

- My oldest did 3-4 college visits, but -- to be honest -- she fell hard for the first school, and none of the others ever compared. In contrast, my youngest visited her sister pretty frequently /stayed in the dorms with her, then her apartment. She fell in love with the school and never really wanted to visit others -- though she chose to do two years at community college before hitting the university. It turned out well for both.

- I understand your reasons for wanting your daughter to start at the community college, but you didn't mention visiting it. Be sure you put in a visit to the place you're pretty sure she'll actually attend.

- Next year when she's a senior, does she have the option of dual enrollment between the high school and community college? It could be a nice half-way step for her, and she likely doesn't need the extra high school credits anyway. Plus, college classes taken during a dual enrollment situation typically don't cost anything (in my area anyway).

- Don't worry too much about what her friends are doing. Her journey may not be the same as theirs, and that's okay.

This is something we all need to keep in mind on a daily basis! Thanks for the reminder!

I am not super concerned with what her friends are doing, I think I just wanted justification that a couple of "for fun" visits is fine, but not necessary. I am still on the fence about Boston, I have decided we will only do it if we want to do a weekend in Boston anyway.

It turns out parenting at this stage is really lonely, my friends kids are different ages than mine, and her dad is not involved (despite living 10 minutes away, insert obvious eyeroll here). It turns out I amnot a good sounding board for myself.

I understand what you are saying. I am glad the Dis is here for that reason. You may want to check out the Disabilities board or community board, I know I have found threads that talk are parents with kids on the spectrum which has been helpful to me.

We didn't do any. All of our children elected to attend college locally.

With my oldest, we did not go on any visits either. He has Asperger's and ADD. He is highly-functioning. In high school he wanted to socialize with others but just was awkward about it and never did have any close friends. We are fortunate to have a great community college and two four year universities here in our hometown. My son went to the community college and loved it. The school has a disabilities program and a wonderful counselor in the program that helped him so that he was still able to get extended time on assessments in a separate setting, the same provisions he had with his 504 plan in high school. My son got involved in a few clubs and really blossomed in college. And the best part is he found a small group of friends on his own. They met in the food court area and just started talking to each other. They became close and he even hosted several get togethers at our house with them.

We went to the transfer open house and took a tour of one of the four year colleges while he was in community college. He ended up transferring there and had a great experience.
A wonderful experience. He graduated last May and misses college. He has been interning in his field and been very successful. Unfortunately, his internship ends this month. There are not a lot of job openings in our area in his field. But he has applied to some and keeps trying.

This is a great website where you can put in the names of colleges (community or four year) and the college courses you plan to take or have taken to see if they will transfer somewhere else. We did this for my son. We plugged in each class he planned to take and checked to see if it would transfer. 100% of his community college credits transferred to his chosen four year university and would have to others as well. It is a free service.

https://www.collegetransfer.net/Sea...y-Credits-Transfer-Welcome/institutionId/4393

As for my daughter, she is a junior in high school and really feels no need to visit schools. She plans to follow in her brother's footsteps and is fine. We had plans to check out a university about an hour from here this spring but the campus is now closed so we might have to put it off until the summer or next fall. Last summer we were in SC visiting family and ended up taking a tour of a local college for fun. Previously, we also just happened to go to Ohio State's open family weekend just out of pure luck and had a great time. We were driving home for a trip in DC and saw the sign for Ohio State off the interstate. My son is a HUGE college sports fan and so he pointed out the sign. I asked him how far was the campus from the interstate and he said only a few miles. So, on the spur of the moment, we went to see the campus, thinking we would just walk around the quad on our own. Once we arrived we found out it was an open house weekend and so we were able to tour several buildings and even got to go into Ohio Stadium. It was a fun trip for us all! Since I went to University of Illinois, it was fun to see the rivals's campus.

So, enjoy touring college campuses. Just plan ahead because right now most are postponing any visits this spring. Check out their websites first.

 

[LuvOrlando]

If you are visiting Boston on a budget I'd suggest finding a well rated inexpensive hotel below the red line, grabbing the red line train at Braintree and taking the few stops up to the Umass Boston stop. It's a wonderful city, I adore it especially the Public garden. I don't think it's a great idea to visit any city at the moment but once the dust clears go for it. You could even stay at Plymouth, which is lovely and on the water, and drive up about a half hour to the Braintree train station or to any one of the many Commuter rail stations (called the T) and transfer to the in city train you need (they go by colors so red line, blue line, green line, orange line) you need to spend the day visiting the campus. I'd suggest starting where you start but ending your day out by Newberry Street - Prudential Center and grabbing the train back from that area or MGH station - it is a city after all and the hospital station is very safe. Again wait until this health situation is over because right now I would imagine this is not where anyone should be.

 

[monorailsilver]

My oldest is a freshman in college. She kept asking “are we going to do any tours” but never told me where. Um..OK. So I made her look at Uconn since it’s a 40 ish min drive and close to home. It was too big for her. She isn’t in the party scene.

We looked at Franklin Pierce in NH and we loved the area, she loved the size and the classes are small. Her roommate left in the fall due to severe depression (i am pretty sure) so she has been in a double “single” since then...now home. She wants a single next year because she finds it easier to study.

Our son is a Jr and he is wants to be a pilot. When I asked him where he’d like to look I got the deer in the headlights answer. Well he met with his school counselor and decided he wants to go to Embry Riddle in Daytona. Great, we are (we’re) headed to FL 4/2 so we set up a tour...which has been cancelled. Dammit...we were going to DS to and from Ft. Myers to Daytona. My mouth was watering at my food choices.

We are in CT so taking a drive to Daytona post quarantine isn’t feasible. I am hoping to go the End of August as my DH a trade show in Orlando then and his work can pay for his ticket.

But if he doesn’t get in, he can do community college in CT as I hear it may be free for CT residents that meet the criteria. Then he can transfer.

 

[Boopuff]

We planned our Summer vacation around college visits. Both of my DD ended up away (one 4hours the other 3) The oldest knew what she wanted to major in and "shopped" for a school with a good program. The youngest really wanted BIG 10. Played in the band, tried out and made the Iowa marching band. Both had a lot of fun doing the college tour thing.

 

[crisi]

Do a dorm stay - it doesn't have to be a school they have any interest in attending, its just a good experience. Our daughter did a couple - one via a Summer camp and one an overnight at a regional school that was her "fairly local safety" school.

We really only did one "Mom and daughter" full stop college visit. We are from Minnesota and her Freshman year, my daughter found Clark in Worcester, MA. By her Sophomore year, she hadn't let go, and since it was so far away, we took a weekend and went out her Sophomore year. We did a few "walk around local campuses to get a feel for what you like/don't like" She's a Sophomore at Clark now.

 

[bjscheel]

I loved college visits! DD21 did 4, all within 2 hours drive. First, the regional public that I expected she would go to. Second, a private college that recruited her for track. Third, a community college and fourth, my alma mater. At the community college she got "the feeling" and so the visit to my alma mater was more for me than her. And we cancelled a visit to another public. (She did a complete graphic design program at the cc and didn't need to transfer anywhere.) She got to see a variety and get a few free t-shirts

DD18 did about 5. She was much more into the college hunt and wanted sweatshirts from most. Hers were within a 3 hour drive except we did fly to one because the automatic scholarships made it well worth looking into. She liked it, but it was good for her to see the travel involved as she decided not to deal with that hassle. She investigated MANY MANY more schools online, looking for that perfect exotic yet easy to get to affordable school with her rare major lol. Turns out the regional public 90 miles away fit every qualification other than being exciting and different and she sure wishes she could still be there right now instead of "Zoom University"!

 

[olwyngdh]

My daughter is a Sr this year. College search was interesting to say the least. She is going to major in Archeology so there is a very limited amount of schools that have her major at the undergrad level. Spring break last year we visited University of Evansville in Indiana (2 hours from where we live now), University of Tennessee, and College of Charleston. She has visited University of Kentucky, University of Louisville, and Western Kentucky with her JROTC program. She fell head over heels in love with Evansville. The tour was amazing. We did a private tour and she spent almost an hour geeking with the head of the department (it was supposed to be 15 minutes to tell her about the program), had a campus tour, met with admissions and financial aid, were comped lunch in the dining hall, got to see a dorm--and they gave her a swag bag. We could have saved the time and mileage going anywhere else. She has been back twice--once for Scholars day which was a one day program for all the kids that had been offered a specific scholarship, and once for Road Trip where they pick up kids from GA to Minnesota and bus them in for a weekend. Orientation was scheduled for April 17 for the kids that went on roadtrip, but it looks like they are going to be doing it on line now.

What I am trying to get to with this rambling is make sure the first place your child visits is a place you want them to go because once they fall in love there is no going back. Look at the best tour you can do--a private tour will give you so much more information than a group tour and give you a better chance to see the culture of the school. Look at hashtags of the school in instagram--that will show you what the students are doing, not what the school wants you to see.

Good luck! Enjoy the chaos as much as you can and I hope your daughter falls in love with a school that will embrace her, you can afford, and that isn't too far away. Distance is what is going to kill us because we are moving to Atlanta this summer.

 

[teamagic]

Our son is a Jr and he is wants to be a pilot. When I asked him where he’d like to look I got the deer in the headlights answer. Well he met with his school counselor and decided he wants to go to Embry Riddle in Daytona. Great, we are (we’re) headed to FL 4/2 so we set up a tour...which has been cancelled. Dammit...we were going to DS to and from Ft. Myers to Daytona. My mouth was watering at my food choices.

We are in CT so taking a drive to Daytona post quarantine isn’t feasible. I am hoping to go the End of August as my DH a trade show in Orlando then and his work can pay for his ticket.

But if he doesn’t get in, he can do community college in CT as I hear it may be free for CT residents that meet the criteria. Then he can transfer.

Embry-Riddle is a great school for pilots, however you might want to check out the required classes before you send him to a community college and plan for him to transfer. My daughter planned to attend University of Miami or West Virginia University and took many college level classes in high school with the plans that she would receive college credit for the classes. IF she would have gone to either, she would have 4 classes or 12 credits done. However, we went to Embry-Riddle and she fell in love with the school. Once she was accepted, she learned that only 1 class would be accepted. They don't have the students take many general education classes - it is not a liberal art college. Many of the classes that is offered in their senior year are equal to master level classes at other colleges.

 

[monorailsilver]

Embry-Riddle is a great school for pilots, however you might want to check out the required classes before you send him to a community college and plan for him to transfer. My daughter planned to attend University of Miami or West Virginia University and took many college level classes in high school with the plans that she would receive college credit for the classes. IF she would have gone to either, she would have 4 classes or 12 credits done. However, we went to Embry-Riddle and she fell in love with the school. Once she was accepted, she learned that only 1 class would be accepted. They don't have the students take many general education classes - it is not a liberal art college. Many of the classes that is offered in their senior year are equal to master level classes at other colleges.

so true. My oldest is majoring in PT so she is already looking at doctorate classes at various schools to make sure what she is taking for pre PT will be accepted. I would ask them about what classes to take for a transfer as a just in case.

We are hoping to go to FL the mid to end of August before school starts to do a tour. But I need the timing to be right so our oldest goes back just before I plan to leave so I can help her move in. We live in CT so it’s not an easy “let’s go see the school today.”

We did a virtual tour last week. Not to thrilling!