Co-Worker Trouble--WWYD?

[ducklite]

Let me start by saying I love my husband and am in a 100% committed and faithful releationship with him, and have never given anyone a reason to think otherwise.

I had a co-worker go NUTS on me this morning because she saw "Dinner with John" written on my wall calendar. (John is a psuedonym) She basically told me that it was a sin for me to have dinner with a man who wasn't my husband, basically acting as if I was having an affair with him! Whoa...My DH KNOWS "John", not that they are friends, but he's met him many times. "John" is in a major label recording act who I have invested in financially, and this dinner is more or less a casual business meeting while he is in town visitng his parents. DH knows that we're having dinner together, and could care less.

This co-worker went stamping off basically muttering under her breath about me being a heathen and harlot.

Now I don't care if she wants to think this, as she's a bit of a whack job and I do'nt like her to begin with, but I don't want her to go spreading nasty rumours around the company about me. Another co-worker came in to my office a little while ago and asked me if everything was OK between my husband and I. I explained the situation and she laughed it off, but God only knows where this is going to go...

How would you handle this? (And not going to dinner with "John" is not an option.)

Anne

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

I just have to ask: Why would she care? It's none of her business anyway, right?

 

[RNMOM]

WTH? How does she know John isn't your brother/uncle/cousin? What business is it of hers? This is clearly her problem, not yours. I would just act like you don't know what she is talking about personally.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

I'm not sure why she would care other than because she is super nosey . . tell her to take a hike and mind her own business!

 

[SC Minnie]

Your co worker has obviously not been in corporate business situations before. I am in a largely male field and most of the vendor I work with are male. I have only had 2 female vendors. I often have to go to lunch or dinner with them. Its part of the job. She needs to get over it.

Some people just like spreading rumors. When DH and I were getting ready to put our house on the market we were moving out some unneeded furniture and stuff to make the house look lexx cluttered. One of my mother's co workers saw DH taking furniture out of the house and started telling everyone in their office that we were having marital problems and DH was moving out.

 

[Bob Slydell]

How would you handle this?

I'd milk it and drive her REALLY

 

[luvwinnie]

Ignore it totally...what right does she have?!?! Wacko.

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

WTH? How does she know John isn't your brother/uncle/cousin? What business is it of hers? This is clearly her problem, not yours. I would just act like you don't know what she is talking about personally.

Good Point!

 

[Missy1961]

Ignore it totally...what right does she have?!?! Wacko.

That's what I would do.

 

[lulugirl]

She sounds like a complete nut case. Surely your co-workers have noticed that this woman is a crazy busy body?
I wouldn't even worry about it.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Holy Moly!

I have lunch dinner and breakfast with male clients all the time...(well not the same one for all three meals but you get the idea).

At least 80% of the time DH won't even have met them..what a crazy idea!

I'd be going straight to h e double hockey sticks for sure.

As to the rumor issue can't even begin to think how you could combat this but the idea that going out for dinner is wrong should make everyone else go



Hopefully it will blow over quickly and they can all get back to real work.

 

[PeterPanette]

Why is she looking at your personal calendar? Since she likes to snoop, I'd give her something to really get jacked up about....a box of condoms in my desk drawer, maybe a small leather whip....and a different man's name on my calendar every night...with a star rating system.

Good luck!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I'd milk it and drive her REALLY

I agree!

 

[Evil Queen]

Let me start by saying I love my husband and am in a 100% committed and faithful releationship with him, and have never given anyone a reason to think otherwise.

I had a co-worker go NUTS on me this morning because she saw "Dinner with John" written on my wall calendar. (John is a psuedonym) She basically told me that it was a sin for me to have dinner with a man who wasn't my husband, basically acting as if I was having an affair with him! Whoa...My DH KNOWS "John", not that they are friends, but he's met him many times. "John" is in a major label recording act who I have invested in financially, and this dinner is more or less a casual business meeting while he is in town visitng his parents. DH knows that we're having dinner together, and could care less.

This co-worker went stamping off basically muttering under her breath about me being a heathen and harlot.

Now I don't care if she wants to think this, as she's a bit of a whack job and I do'nt like her to begin with, but I don't want her to go spreading nasty rumours around the company about me. Another co-worker came in to my office a little while ago and asked me if everything was OK between my husband and I. I explained the situation and she laughed it off, but God only knows where this is going to go...

How would you handle this? (And not going to dinner with "John" is not an option.)

Anne

None of her business, and I think I would tell her to quit running her mouth to others, or ask HR to do it.

 

[roseprincess]

What your coworker said is something my grandma would say. My grandma usually says alot stuff like that, too.

Seriously, maybe next time on your calendar, maybe put down "dinnerJ" or "dinnerj", so it won't be so obvious you are having dinner with someone. I take it your calendar is up on a wall in your office or cubicle? Maybe keep your calendar in your desk drawer next time, at least when your wacky coworker is around. It really isn't her business who you are meeting with,etc.
If it a business mtg., why would coworker be upset, anyways? Maybe she is jealous?

 

[DVCLiz]

I'd absolutely go to your company's HR and make a complaint. She sounds like a nut job, and when dealing with them it's best to have a paper trail. I'd say, "Co-worker X made some unwanted personal remarks to me and I want her to be notified by her boss that I find that unacceptable."

Better safe than sorry...

 

[Tazicket]

It's really none of this chick's business. I would ignore it and explain if people come to me and ask. If the rumour mill was really working on it, I would probably file a complaint with HR and request that they speak with her about minding her own business.

 

[va32h]

I had something similar happen a few years ago, at my last out-of-the-house job. My husband was deployed two weeks before I found out I was pregnant with our third child. So obviously by the time I had begun to show, he had been gone for several months, and a coworker started gossiping about how shameful it was that I had obviously cheated on him.

I was really upset - my solution was to go to HR, and have them deal with it. I don't know what was said to the person who started the rumor, but the gossip stopped, and she stayed far away from me after that.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

What your coworker said is something my grandma would say. My grandma usually says alot stuff like that, too.

Seriously, maybe next time on your calendar, maybe put down "dinnerJ" or "dinnerj", so it won't be so obvious you are having dinner with someone. I take it your calendar is up on a wall in your office or cubicle? Maybe keep your calendar in your desk drawer next time, at least when your wacky coworker is around. It really isn't her business who you are meeting with,etc.
If it a business mtg., why would coworker be upset, anyways? Maybe she is jealous?

I disagree with this. Why should ducklite alter her routine because of some nut job. If it were me, I'd tell the nut job to stay out of my space, mind her own business or I'd kick her butt!!!

 

[RUDisney]

What makes her think you weren't having dinner with John and your DH? I don't write down that I'm going to dinner with someone AND my DH. The fact that DH would be there is usually a given unless its a business meeting/meal.

I've often taken vendors, usually men, to one local restaurant. I usually know everyone in the place and they know that the vendor isn't my DH. If they want to talk, let them. Many times, DH has been there with clients, too.

If she doesn't keep her mouth shut, have HR shut if for her. That behavior is unacceptible.