Co-worker quit without saying goodbye! :(

[glammadiva]

I left my job of 18 years without letting anyone know or saying goodbye to anyone. (except one person my very best friend) I had a new baby and there was something wrong because he was unable to drink out of a bottle, and other things, later turned out to be autistic but we didnt know that at the time. I was so stressed over the decision I had to make and the loss of income that for the 2 weeks after I gave my notice I was kinda sick to my stomach, and I certainly didnt want to be discussing it with anyone. I had a perfect employee record and perfect sick leave for many years. My manager who of course knew I was leaving, came over to me at the end of the day and told me to turn in my badge. No goodbye good luck or anything. Gotta love the Post Office.

And employers wonder why employees have low morale and no loyalty.

 

[manning]

You said he was your supervisor...

Perhaps all you two had was a work relationship. Work is over, so is the relationship.

You mentioned he stood up for you a few times. Perhaps he was standing up to bad policies and not for you in particular, even if you felt that way.

He was just doing the right thing.

It's been awhile since I've been in that spot but when I supervised a dept, I didn't take time to say good bye to everyone I worked over. I just shook the dust off and moved on.

It's probably the same thing, he was in a bad environment and is moving on. Also, you may be one of many people looking for an extra explanation... how many times would you want to rehash that if you were him?

A rare instance. I've known many bosses who would throw underlings to the wolves to save themselves.

 

[tvguy]

Sometimes when people quit abruptly, they are escorted out by HR. That could have been the case with your co-worker and he didn't have a chance to say goodbye. It's also possible that he's been told not to have any contact with anyone in the company, so he's not returning your calls.

My favorite was at a previous employer where the HR person was escorted out of the building in handcuffs by the Police.
Seems she found a way to divert 1/4 hour of some people's overtime money to her, with the overtime hours appearing on their paycheck, just that little slice of the money wasn't in the final check. She only targeted the folks with large amounts of overtime. Rumor was she was averaging $750 a pay period.....got away with about $15,000 before being caught.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I can understand how you feel to a very small degree, meaning some jobs you become friends with people and others not at all You can't take it personally, first this person was your supervisor...not an even playing field as co-workers

It's wonderful to have a good boss, that makes a nice work environment, but he was just that; your boss I would leave him alone

I have had many jobs over the years I have many times left and not once looked back at the co-workers I had never socialized with them, there was no friendship to retain, the only thing we had in common was our job Former bosses I have kept in touch with basically to get permission to use them as an employment reference Most have kept in touch after that initial contact and email periodically just to " touch base" but that was ALWAYS their initiative


As to the pp with the post office, that's terrible perhaps it was your branch management ? One year after he retired from 34 yrs service, my Dad passed away The post office police came to the service as did many big names We were very touched with the sign of respect They treated us, and him, like family
This was New York though back in 2000 Really a shame your office did nothing for you Blessings to your little one

 

[ez]

As to the pp with the post office, that's terrible perhaps it was your branch management ? One year after he retired from 34 yrs service, my Dad passed away The post office police came to the service as did many big names We were very touched with the sign of respect They treated us, and him, like family
This was New York though back in 2000 Really a shame your office did nothing for you Blessings to your little one

When I first started with the post office in the late 80's there were actually some caring people in management, unfortunately that got dramatically less and less as time went on. I am still close to some of the employees from my former office , and I am very sorry to say that towards the end of last year a female letter carrier committed suicide right out in the parking lot. I have heard from very reliable sources how horribly she was treated by management. The general consensus when it happened was, yep, it finally happened. I know that's how I felt when I first read about it in the morning paper. So horrible, and very hard to explain those working conditions to someone that hasn't experienced it. Postal employees make fairly decent money, and many are untrained to do anything else and have no college degree. The duties you perform in the post office are not really marketable skills that would lead you to a job of similar pay. So while you are there, you can certainly feel trapped and it can make you especially vulnerable.

 

[Luvchefmic]

When I first started with the post office in the late 80's there were actually some caring people in management, unfortunately that got dramatically less and less as time went on. I am still close to some of the employees from my former office , and I am very sorry to say that towards the end of last year a female letter carrier committed suicide right out in the parking lot. I have heard from very reliable sources how horribly she was treated by management. The general consensus when it happened was, yep, it finally happened. I know that's how I felt when I first read about it in the morning paper. So horrible, and very hard to explain those working conditions to someone that hasn't experienced it. Postal employees make fairly decent money, and many are untrained to do anything else and have no college degree. The duties you perform in the post office are not really marketable skills that would lead you to a job of similar pay. So while you are there, you can certainly feel trapped and it can make you especially vulnerable.

so very very sad MAYBE the difference with my Dad was that he was there at an earlier time and saw many mgrs come and go Don't get me wrong I remember him complaining about certain managers and how things were No rose colored glasses here at all Just we had a much better experience

 

[Imzadi]

Just because you got along at work it does not mean that he is a friend to you. It easy to have a friendly relationship at work when you are in a team, even sharing some personalish things like kids, funny stories about a spouse, or standing up for an injustice in the work enviroment. But, that does not mean that you are friends or that he owes you anything.

When I put in my 2 week notice at my job, years back, many people were shocked and surprised because they all thought they knew me very well. In actuality, I shared only anecdotes of my life but people felt invested because I was a friendly person. []

I enjoyed the people at work but they weren't my friends, they were my coworkers with whom I had a good report. I did not or do not feel like I should have contacted them after leaving.

It is very possible that you felt more invested in him as a person, but he may have just been a friendly coworker.

You said he was your supervisor...

Perhaps all you two had was a work relationship. Work is over, so is the relationship.

It's probably the same thing, he was in a bad environment and is moving on. Also, you may be one of many people looking for an extra explanation... how many times would you want to rehash that if you were him?

A lot of folks confuse "friendly co-workers" with "friends."

If you and your coworker spent weekends at each others houses, went on vacations together, etc, I could see it unusual he didn't say goodbye.

If you were just co-workers, you are just cogs in the same machine.

I think maybe you thought you were friends while he thought differently.

All of the above, especially the bolded. Over the last few years, having a long-term chronic illness that limits my ability to work, I've picked up numerous short-term work at special events/seminars for extra quick cash. I've been able to network with lots of co-workers who refer these projects to me when they hear about them.

I've worked at some wonderful events and also for some extremely horrible people & environments. These "day jobs" are not my avocation. They are just a way for me to make money to live the rest of my life after work, which are my passions. Work has become just a means to an end.

I'm always very friendly, chatty, and good at what I do at work. (Which is how I get all my referrals for more work.) But when it comes to socializing after work with any of these co-workers, I am sooo not interested, though I may go to lunch with them during work. That work may be part of their life, but it's not to me. It's just WORK. I've been very good at compartmentalizing them.

And at the end of most events, I just left without saying goodbye. Or did just a quick hug if coworkers I'm friendly with were nearby. When the work environment has been particularly bad, I can't get out of there fast enough, even though there may be a few people I DO want to say goodbye to and to tell them that they are the only reason that made that project even palpable to come back to each day. But, if I can't find them easily, I do not linger to find them. It's not personal. I just can't stand the place and can't get on the subway fast enough to end that situation and move on, literally.

Recently, one event was so bad, I was counting down the days till it was over. The manager was brand new to managing and she was horribly disorganized and CLUELESS that she wasn't even good. She even didn't show up one day and texted all of us what to do, although it was a job that required direct supervision over everyone.

At the end of the event, she planned this big picnic the following weekend for all the workers. To her, moving into management may be a big part of her life. To me, it was just another event, a bad one at that, and it was OVER. I didn't have to attend to keep up any happy work relationship appearance. I will actually turn down any project she ever supervises again. So I never answered ANY of her group emails or texts, right up to the hour before the picnic.

Last week, I talked with 4 co-workers from that event, while we were on a new special event that I got them on. (Again, we don't socialize after work, just friendly emails to pass on work referrals.) I asked them if any of them attended the picnic. Not a single one attended, even though they made noises during the project like they were interested. It seems more people than I realized, feel the same about compartmentalizing work from the rest of our lives. Now, I'm wondering how many people did show up.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Thanks for all the posts. I don't need an explanation from him, never did. I think I just feel a little like he quit me too. Our jobs were extremely team oriented. I was his assistant. Paralegal/attorney work relationship. SO, his job very much was dependent on me doing my job well and making his job easier. (making him look good...so to speak) I mean I worked my butt off for him and went above and beyond many times. I think I just would have like to have had a final "thanks for everything you did." "See ya later." That's all.

 

[Hrhpd]

Thanks for all the posts. I don't need an explanation from him, never did. I think I just feel a little like he quit me too. Our jobs were extremely team oriented. I was his assistant. Paralegal/attorney work relationship. SO, his job very much was dependent on me doing my job well and making his job easier. (making him look good...so to speak) I mean I worked my butt off for him and went above and beyond many times. I think I just would have like to have had a final "thanks for everything you did." "See ya later." That's all.

"He quit you?"

You seem to be way more emotionally involved with the man vs the job.

Sounds like you had feelings for him if you think he "broke up with you" and "he quit you."

You need to step back and tell yourself he was your boss and that is it. It hurts, but clearly he did not view your relationship the same way you did. You were his employee, a good one yes with what sounds like a great employee/boss relationship, but not personal relationship.

Being this hurt over a boss leaving is not typical. If you continue to feel like this was a personal breakup, I would suggest you talk to a counselor to help you come to terms with your feelings.

I am sorry you are hurting

 

[Disney Doll]

Sounds like you're stepping a bit into thinking the relationship was more personal than business. I'd be careful with that.

You've texted him to wish him well. Now move on and do a good job for the next person you are assigned to assist.

 

[MouseJunkie]

I think you all are reading into my words a little too much. I have no intentions of contacting him any further. We have each other's cell phones and used them frequently, for work. I did not step over any lines, nor do I intend to. We are both completely professional. I only texted him to wish him well, end of story. That is totally not out of line!!

All I am saying is that I'm just sad that we will no longer be working together and that when he quit it's like the dream team, so to speak, ends. That's all. Sheesh!!! Though I appreciate the comments. Relax...he's got a wife and kids. I'm well aware of that and completely respect it. We just had a great working relationship and essentially, I will miss it. That's all. And all I'm saying here is it just would have been a nice touch, if he'd said thanks for everything and goodbye. No he doesn't owe me anything; it just would have been nice.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Yes it would have been nice ..I get what you're saying