Closed threads???

[PRINCESS Ariel34]

Not long ago, I Put "MYSELF" in the position where I let other people ignorance bring out the worse in me on a db topic. I had to step back and look at what part I played in it. Letting my anger get the best of me was not worth it. Especially when that anger it towards another person who is hateful, spiteful and does not have any type of respect for other people feelings. Sad to say there are alot of people on here like that. It's ok to agree to disagree with another without being nasty and putting another person down. I don't know if it's some type of sick anger fetish they have going on, or if their nasty rudeness and anger gets them off. Whatever it is, they need to seek help.


OP
If someone wants to close/lock a thread for whatever reason is their choice. NIne times out of ten the people that complain about the op locking the thread are the people who get a kick out of bashing the op or other posters who do not agree with them. This of course is "JMHO"

 

[CRB#33]

I've never asked for a thread to be closed, mostly because I haven't started one that was hijacked, or turned into attacks on anyone.

I have deleted a post or two of mine after I have posted without thinking in anger and, well, my own stupidity at thinking I could make a difference in someone's mind.

I have to agree with several posters here. I want to state first off though, that I have no idea what thread started this endless argument. So I am not taking any particular side in that thread.

I think Suite Disney has got the right idea. If you don't like the rules on the DIS-go to the uncensored, unmoderated Disney Boards. I think they probably have exactly what several of you have demanded on the DIS. You're not going to get it here. So just go. The Internet is a huge place. Why hang out where you don't like the rules?

If a thread gets hijacked and/or the tone of the original poster gets completely twisted and this person feels attacked, then he/she has every right to request that the means of that attack be stopped. I know people have been told to "hit the back button, Ignore." Why should they, when many of the times they're the ones following the rules?

If you want to debate an issue that the OP brought up without meaning a debate, take it over to the DB.--Bonnie hit that one on the head--Why don't certain CB'ers ever go to the debate board with their debatable posts?????? Seems to me that should be right up their alley. Maybe a fair debate isn't their real agenda?

I want to thank Dan for his defense of the women on his thread that he closed. He is one of the nicest people on these boards and a true gentleman. He has made some referenced posts that some posters feel are not nice. These are the posters that have made so many mean posts, so many unbelievable attacks, so many rude, demeaning posts, that I don't think they have much business condemning Dan for something they do on a regular, almost daily basis. Dan is defending what he feels these boards were meant to be--a friendly place to share.

How many posters on this thread feel that this is what the CB is supposed to be about? A "friendly place to share." Most of you, I'm sure. For the others? What is your agenda?

That's a retorical question actually. I think we all can figure out what your agenda is.

 

[Teejay32]

I do see Bob O on the Debate Board many times. He's a nice guy, bit of an extremist, consistent and predictable like the sun rising in the East. It's the kind of thing where you just post something like 'Bob, I disagree with 9/10ths of what you're saying, for the eighth time, but I did want to say hello, how are things?'

I don't think it's personal, that makes all the difference. Whereas my other 'buddy' here, all of the issues are personal ones and thus they can't be discussed with any detatchment, (which is the reason they aren't 'debate' and aren't on the Debate Board) and you end up with big globs of anger and resentment and people getting hurt left and right. Very sticky. I think it's a problem. But it seems to be 'our' problem, collectively, so why don't we all just understand that some people cannot see beyond 'issues', and into the people behind them...they may choose to make it personal, but who says that you have to agree? Kill it with kindness, refuse to star in their soap opera, see their posts in turn for what they are - blobs of anger directed at a faceless issue. It should be directed elsewhere, like at someone or something in their real lives, but for whatever reason it's not and you become the representative. It's not about you though, so try to remember that, and try to remember that there's a real-life issue they have that may be causing the anger.

A quote I saw provided by CarolAnnK which I thought was very nice: The things people do are almost never about you, and almost always about them.

The Debate Board - I hope Princess Ariel would agree with me on this - is more than just a place to collect people's complaints. I know what it appears like at first glance, but to think so is to discredit at least 50% of the contributors there. Note the differences between a 'debate' and a 'diatribe', and you will understand why some people prefer to air these things here, on the CB, and not in debate forum.

edited to add: this is not meant to be a pile-on, because I don't like those, it's a request to all these nice people here who have been hurt to consider that whatever it is, it may not be about *you* after all. If you're going to ignore, ignore all the way, 100%.

 

[Lanshark]

IMO, there is less baiting and hijacking on the DB then on the CB. Most people over there have more then a one or two track mind and can back up their opinions with facts. It is not a place to go if your opinions are nothing more then rantings. If you make your points by generalizing and insulting you will be eaten alive. I have seen threads closed over there but not very often. The moderators know who the "trolls" are and they seem to address situations very quickly.

I have no problem with someone stating a different opinion then the one I hold. The problem I see with a few of the posters is that they do no just state their opinion. They interject it into threads where they are not really appropriate because they have nothing really to do with the thread or the obvious intent of the thread. You can state an opposing opinion in such a way as to not inflame or insult someone. The 'agenda' of a few is to stir up as much hard feelings and trouble as possible. That is the dark side of internet BB.

Differing opinions make these boards interesting. Baiting, hijacking and name calling are really not appropriate, IMO.

 

[captin fink]

quote from LucyStorm
Now, if it were on the DEBATE board, (which I notice you have never graced with your presence) then it would be okay to say exactly what's on your mind. Why don't you ever go to the debate board Eros??? It's much more loose there and a thread rarely gets closed. I don't get it.

edited to credit proper poster's quote

Good point. I have wondered the same thing. I guess it is easier to high jack a thread on the CB, state your option with out having to defend it. Label people with opposing views as belonging to some type of club or group. Follow that up with a sarcastic reply. If asked a question, post some terse comment and not answer the question.

So Eros why don’t you post on the DB? I am sure you could hold your own in a good open friendly debate were you have to support your point of view with more than labels, Big colored letters and sarcastic remarks.

 

[CRB#33]

Captin Fink....much as I would like to take credit for that quote, it was LucyStorm who made it!

 

[CookieGVB]

Originally posted by Eeyore2U
Hey, I know that horse!!!

Sorry, dude - ripped it off from ya, but thought it was apropos!

 

[musicfan]

I was going to hit the "back button" after reading these posts, as I have done hundreds of times before, pretty much MOST of the time, actually -- but this thread has touched on something I have thought each and every time I've hit that button, so I decided I had to respond...

I have noticed a tendency to make a moral distinction that says "venting" is OK (when starting a thread) but "attacking" (i.e. answering that thread with a contrary opinion) is not. A significant number of "vents" that I have seen have seemed to me to be attacks on someone -- a boss, a coworker, a husband, a child -- that are myopic and angry. But astonishingly, these are seen with sympathy and, indeed, if challenged, are most often defended as a healthy way of blowing off steam.

Perhaps it would be best if the "venters" (as well as the "attackers") would heed the advice "if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Of course, there would be far fewer posts initiated on the CB, but at least we could dispense with taking these somewhat shaky moral stands.

 

[Bob O]

I can say FOR SURE that i never asked for this or any thread to be closed and would never do so as im staunchly against censorship in all its evil forms!!!
Lucystorm of course i would want to here you explanation, im sure i would disagree with it as i find somebody taking their post and going home childish, but i would still read your eplanation.
And even though im a proud member of the HEH club and disgaree with EROS over that issue i agree with him totally on this issue and if this thread would get hi-jacked, so be it. Once a thread is started it should live out its own life and not be aborted by the person who started it!!
And im always happy to bring up a subject i believe in strongly and if something like this gets my interest i will bring it up 30 or 40 times if needed, hopefully some will learn from these discussions and not be so thin skinned and decide to take their thread and go home because they are upset over the direction it took and maybe have the powers that be re-think their wrong(IMHO)policy!!
And Dan while i respect your opinion and im happy to hear your thoughts, i would much perfer that the offending posts be deleted but not a entire thread deleted or closed.
Lucky4me- I try to go on the debate board but unfortuanly i only have so much time and after hiting the rumors/cb boards and other web sites i dont have that much time and with alot of threads pages long if you arent there all the time your comments/thoughts are already old as the thread has moved in-different directions, but i always enjoy a good debate with anybody and dont shy away from them. As for complaining, I ALWAYS have something too complain about!!

 

[Bob O]

Bump!

 

[December99]

Well I can say based on experience that when I have asked to have a thread closed, I have posted on there why I am asking to have it closed and that I want it closed. I know I don't need to say why but I do it anyway. One thread I was tired of people hashing up something that wasn't meant to be hashed up. And that was my reasoning and that's what I stuck with. And that was basically what I said why I was having the post closed. To me it was a personal choice!

 

[Deb in IA]

Another voice in agreement with you, Bob O.

Now, I certainly understand the need to "vent" every once in a while. In fact, I've done it myself a few times . I agree that it can be helpful and therapeutic.

However, sometimes when I am "venting", someone will offer a different opinion, or take on the situation, that I may not be seeing, because I am angry or upset. And that can be helpful as well. Of course, it takes an OPEN MIND to do that, something that I am not so sure not all of us have around here . . . (NOT a personal attack on ANYONE, just an observation).

And the closing of threads? Well, it seems that Webmaster Pete has decided that the thread originator has the power to request a thread to be closed, for any reason. Them's the rules, I guess, and it doesn't appear likely that they will change.

But it never hurts to try, now, does it?

 

[Sharon A.]

Sometimes a differing opinion is just what we need when we're venting. I remember one time I was whining to my MIL about how hard it was to keep up with my two year old son (and it was hard!). She told me I should be happy that he's healthy and able to run around so much. It surprised the heck out of me because I was expecting her to just offer sympathy. Instead, it snapped me out of it and made me realize she was right.

I know you guys are giving BobO grief over starting yet another one of these threads, but I have to admit these threads got me thinking differently. I used to have my own threads closed (I even YAGEd once), but now I just let it roll of my back. I'd never ask for a thread to be closed now. Usually if you just let them talk long enough, the people who are bugging you will either come around or show their true colors to everyone.

 

[Robinrs]

I just found this and find it very interesting! Mostly the quote from Alex: "I think they think the rest of us are impressed by their wit and intelligence. Actually we are much too busy comparing them to certain parts of a horses anatomy.

AMEN!!! Alex, you are my HERO!

I sometimes wish some people WOULD just get their bat and ball and go!

 

[EROS]

For each ecstatic instant
We must an anguish pay.
In keen and quivering ratio
To the ecstasy.

For each beloved hour
Sharp pittances of years,
Bitter contested farthings
And coffers heaped with tears.


Emily Dickinson

 

[LucyStorm]

quote from LucyStorm
Now, if it were on the DEBATE board, (which I notice you have never graced with your presence) then it would be okay to say exactly what's on your mind. Why don't you ever go to the debate board Eros??? It's much more loose there and a thread rarely gets closed. I don't get it.

Much as I would like to take credit for this, it wasn't me either. I was the one who said it was pointless to explain, because the people raising the ruckus are rarely listening to the explanation anyway, though I don't believe that I said it quite that nicely.

 

[vickyBaby]

Hmmmmmm......

Originally posted by WebmasterAlex
Actually we are much too busy comparing them to certain parts of a horses anatomy.

Interesting.....

Originally posted by Eeyore2U

 

[LucyStorm]

To give proper credit:

quote from LucyStorm
Now, if it were on the DEBATE board, (which I notice you have never graced with your presence) then it would be okay to say exactly what's on your mind. Why don't you ever go to the debate board Eros??? It's much more loose there and a thread rarely gets closed. I don't get it.

This quote is from Lucky4me.

But I gotta say I agree with it.

 

[Eeyore2U]

Originally posted by CookieGVB
Sorry, dude - ripped it off from ya, but thought it was apropos!

When the horse fits, BEAT it.

 

[SonjaB]

I'm guessing the new HEH Club is Hang EROS High?? I realize he brings it on himself with blanket statements about those that disagree with him, but does it really further any understanding of a given subject, raise one's level of awareness, or elevate the intellectual content of a thread by responding in kind?

I think it would go a very, VERY LOOOOOONG way to repairing the rifts here if we all took a minute to consider the intent of a post before responding......especially if we're responding with venom. Is the poster opening a discussion or expressing grief of some sort? If it's a vent, well, this is where the "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction" of expression comes into play. If you express a particularly strong opinion (or vent) about ANY subject, public or personal, expect an equally strong reaction, that's just human nature combined with physics, LOL. If it's too touchy or personal to accept an equal reaction, you might want to vent to real life family and friends rather than a public internet board.

If the person is expressing grief, that's different. For instance, the sorrow expressed over the death of a child (or anyone else) is not the place to discuss whether or not there is a God or an afterlife. Save that for another thread. It won't kill you to let one opportunity for debate go by in the interest of compassion and mercy for a fellow human being.

As always, just my opinion.