class gift exchange - slight vent

[Tink-n-MrIncredible]

My DN's preschool ask for two books. One is for a class room exchange and the other is a donation to the scool library that way every child can enjoy a book.

 

[Tink-n-MrIncredible]

I too rec'd a late notice from dd10's teachers but instead of doing a gift exchange for each other the class decided to pick a angel child (the teachers chose a student from school and the class doesn't know who it is) and they had a want list from the child and they could choose to give or not.

All I can say is that these Children's parents are doing something right.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I am so surprised so many still do anything for Christmas. My kids never have had a gift exchange (though neither did I or DH growing up.) They collect food at Thanksgiving and gloves and hats in the winder for needy families, but we don't get to do anything for holidays, not Christmas, not Halloween, none of them. It's actually sad to me, but that is another thread.

As far as the gift exchanges go, we always do one with Brownies. Usually they are supposed to spend between $4-5 and I say, please spend $4 and not more then $5. If you wish to not participate let me know and I will buy a gift for the child to put into the exchange (and I always have a few things that can go in to my kids' stockings as a just in case gift.) Often someone buys a $1 or less gift so I add a little something to their gift quietly and no one knows to make it a little more fair. This year they had done Secret Santas as well (asked if they could do both) so we did a $2-3 gift since they were buying 2. The girls asked after doing our exchange if they could trade, and I said I guess if the other person wanted to. Every girl traded, it was kind of funny.

 

[Madison'smommy]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

OMG!!!!! This is AWFUL!!!!! I am so sorry that happened to you!!!!

 

[npmommie]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

That is heartbreaking and while I never had an issue like yours, I know I am 35 and there are still things from childhood that bother me. They can make such an impression on us.

I am shocked not by the kid, cause they can be rude and sometimes it isn't intentional, sometimes it is, no matter what it still is lousy, but by the teacher and the principal. They were so wrong and not at all very Christian-like IMO. I wonder how they slept at night knowning they did that to a child. nd that they both felt that way??? To get one ignorant person but 2 is so sad.

 

[mickeyboat]

At a day care? Are they insane??! Wow - that's quite the "sharing" lesson!!

Be glad you don't have to be there!!!

I did end up being there, but thank goodness they decided to just to the swap part and not the yankee part. The kids drew numbers and chose gifts from the table in order. They were allowed to trade if both people agreed.

 

[ceecee]

(Underlining in above post mine..)

Also a good time to impress upon your children that no matter what they receive in return, the polite thing to do is to accept it graciously and with a big smile.. Your child may be the one that is receiving something from a family that had no money for extras at all and just found something, anything, they could wrap and send in.. I know it's hard to believe there are families who are in such dire straights, but there's even more this year than there ever have been in past years..

DD got a used stuffed animal from her friend and she loved it, because it was her friend's toy. A friend of DD's opened 2 packs of cheese crackers for a birthday present and said "my favorite, thanks...I'll put them in my lunch!" So it does come down to being gracious because there is always going to be disappointment. The little girl who told someone she didn't like it was very ungracious and the teacher was worse! Maybe that's why they don't do gift exchanges at DD's school.

 

[klacey1]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

This literally brought tears to my eyes! You should forward this story to every school in the country as an example of why gift exchanges are perhaps not the best idea.
I really love the "bring in a gift for charity" or donate a book to the class library ideas, but neither should be required, at all.

 

[tefrench]

The last two years, our school has done a collection for the local food pantry instead of a gift exchange. We live in a poor area.

However, my ds (11) did come home with a note saying that they are playing a game, and could he bring a $1.00 gift. However, you could also let the teacher know if you couldn't send in a gift.

I just prefer not to do the exchange, because I never know exactly what to get. Also, I think my kids honestly just don't need more stuff in their rooms! Today I cleaned my son's floor and he filled five tupperware tubs full of stuff!

I much prefer the idea of giving to the food pantry.

 

[GinnyEmma]

This literally brought tears to my eyes! You should forward this story to every school in the country as an example of why gift exchanges are perhaps not the best idea.
I really love the "bring in a gift for charity" or donate a book to the class library ideas, but neither should be required, at all.

Lol, that had nothing to do with an exchange, and everything to do with the people involved.

 

[neatokimmo]

Op, I feel your pain, I am being nickled and dimed at DD's preschool. Food for 20 kids, a treat for the treat bags for 20 kids and a $10 swap. Ummm...we pay for this school so no one is poor or needy. My kid gets plenty of great stuff from me. She doesn't need another treat bag full of pencils and erasers.

 

[S. C.]

I don't want to send DD with a $5 gift if everyone else is exchanging more but i also don't want to send her with $25 and her get a $1 item! This happend to her in kgarten, they had a book exchange. I sent it a book for around $10 and she came home with a clearly USED book that was 3.95 new. I didn't really care but she did notice the book was well worn.

Good time to teach DD that not all families have an extra $10 in their pockets. Maybe it was that child's favorite book being the reason it was well worn and she/he wanted to share it.

 

[torinsmom]

I teach preK/K and we have never done an exchange. I always buy the small stockings after Christmas for 90% off, along with pencil and small toys. I write each child's name in glitter glue. I add some candy(fresh) and they have a nice little gift for really cheap. This year, I also gave out books that I got using my Scholastic bonus points. The kids were really happy with what they got.

 

[gower525]

I teach 2nd grade at an school where 97% of our kids live below the poverty level. I buy each child a stocking, put their name on it, and hang them in the back of the classroom. I send a note home asking each child to bring a small gift for each child in the classroom --- Very small - like a pencil, piece of candy, eraser, etc. They get to play Santa and put the gifts in the stockings while the others are out of the room. On the day of the party they get to take down their stocking and see what is inside. I am always amazed at how almost every student brings something! --Some more than others - but that is OK. Everyone gets the same thing. I also put my gift to them in the stocking. It is fun!

 

[aprilgail2]

I had planned on sending in some extras just so no one got left out as I know how it felt when one child in my son's kindergarten class was going to be left out..

When I was class mom one year the teacher had a gift exchange at the christmas party- I brought in 4 extra boy and 4 extra girl gifts in case children didn't have any. One boy in my daughters class did not bring anything so I threw one in the bag for him- I had HOPED to do it discretely but the teacher called him up to pick his gift out of the bag and told him he should thank "miss M" because she brought in extras. He came over and I didn't even let him say a word-no need to embarrass him more! I just said hope you like what you got Merry Christmas!
Another kid pulled out a really lame gift- it was Math Dice- 3 dice you roll with numbers on 2 and a + -/ and x on the other so you would roll them and do the math problem- he looked like he was going to cry so I went up to him and told him that I had someone that I knew that would really like those so if he wanted to swap with me he could....so he took one of the ones I brought in and gave me his.

 

[HelenePA]

only one of my kids who are in school are doing an exchange.. I have 2 extra zhu zhus I was going to send in as "extras" do you think they could be used as boy/girl gifts or are they more girly? they are tex who is a cowboy one.... We always did exchanges in grade school, the thing is I dont remember anything I got just what I gave! How strange is that?

eta the extras are for kindergarten.

 

[nairv]

I remember in grade school when I was a kid(back in the 80s), we used to do regular gift exchanges. My parents were financially strapped, so my mom found toys at Aldis/discount grocery store for our exchange one year.

Well, comes time for the exchange and you had to open your gift in front of the class and say who it was from and thank-you...the girl who got my gifts goes it's from Heidi and it's not name-brand and I don't like it. The teacher said nothing and went on to another student.

I got a very nice Barbie and was so happy because it was going to be my only not practical gift that year and I understood that completely, until the teacher 'suggested' that I give my gift to the girl who got mine because that would be the Christian thing to do. I was completely floored and still remember sitting in the office to wait for my mom to come get me because I wasn't giving up my toy. The teacher had the room mother take me to the office and I missed the party.

The principal actually lectured my mother about spending the right amount of money on gifts for school parties. My mom asked him if he wanted the doll back that badly and his reply...'the mother did spend 11 dollars on that doll and you apparently only spent 3 dollars or less'. My mom gave him the doll back and told him to have a Merry Christmas, so I was completely broken-hearted and it was a rough rest of that school year.

So, gift exchanges don't always work out then or now.

I admit, I lurk on the boards more than I post....but I just had to respond to this one. That's just awful, awful, awful. What a horrible teacher and principal. What about the girl who said it wasn't a brand name gift and she didn't like it? Doesn't sound like a very "Christian" thing to say??!!

 

[klacey1]

Lol, that had nothing to do with an exchange, and everything to do with the people involved.

"Nothing to do with an exchange" is a stretch. If there was no exchange, the other child wouldn't have callously noticed that the PP's gift wasn't "up to par."

 

[Kate and Pete]

I did end up being there, but thank goodness they decided to just to the swap part and not the yankee part. The kids drew numbers and chose gifts from the table in order. They were allowed to trade if both people agreed.

Thank goodness! You have no idea how much it bothered me to think that daycare providers were doing a Yankee Swap with children!!